|
helping a friend deal
A friend of one of my friends recently commited suicide, and it's really taking a toll on my friend. (Let's just call her Jane haha) So I've tried talking to Jane, but every time I try to comfort her or w/e she says something really rude or just turns away. I know she's grieving, and I'm trying to tell myself it's nothing personal, but what she's doing is really hurtful. How should I tell her how this makes me feel? Is it too early? (This happened just a couple days ago.) Can anyone tell me how I should try and make her feel better? Thanks.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
i know its not fun being treated like crap.. but your right.. shes grieving.. and all i can really tell you to do is just no matter how hurtful the things she does are..just be the best friend you an be towards her.. because if the grieving goes too far.. you might lose her too... and i think all she needs is a friend she trusts.. and shes still in the process of finding one that wont leave her.. so prove it to her you can be that person
]
Your friend might also be blaming herself for not being a good enough friend to see the suicide coming. If she believes this, then in addition to the normal grieving, she may be punishing herself by not allowing anyone to console her--since from her point of view, she wouldn't deserve to be consoled. If you feel compelled to say something, tell her it's not her fault, and then listen to what she has to say. She might have a lot to get off her chest.
Dr. Chad
]
Oh wow, thats tough. I think you should give Jane space. It must be really hard for her if she is acting in that way. So give her a little space, tell her your there for her, try being the best friend to her. And i suggest not telling her how you feel about her acting this way, it will make her feel worse. Just have a girls day out and get a manicure or go shopping or something. Or pick something out that she really loves to do.
<3
]
wow... that's very sad... but i think you should try not to talk about it of course, and if she is having a REALLY hard time recovering then, you should just not talk to her a whole alot and in like 2 days talk to her how you usally do. and to make her feel better, maybe get her a gift, and make her laugh or something... just try to make her smile. I know i love to laugh when iam down. it makes me feel better.
]
Helping a friend get over something tragic is hard. My advice is to let her be for a while until she can get a hold of herself. But, a good friend would do exactly what you are trying to do...so great job. If she is being rude it IS because she is grieving and torturing herself in such away that she can not think of anything else but her friend. It is a bit early, so in a week or so tell her. It may be a bit hard..but try it, it may work. that is my advice and goodluck!
]
just tell her how much you love her... i was thinking about it one day and posted it on my myspace and my friend soo talked me out of it when she told me how sad she would be and how much she loved me =)
hope i helped!
rate high!*
♥ Jess
]
I dont think you should tell your friend how you feel just yet. You have to put yourself in her position. If you just lost someone that was close to you because she killed herself, you would probably be extrememly upset. She just needs her space right now, and is having a really tough time. If you just be there for her when she needs you, she will eventually realize that she has to move on and keep living her life. She needs you know, she just isnt realizing it. Dont take anything personaly, she isnt upset with you.
]
Id give her awhile to grief. Then After a few days tell her "Im Always her if you want to talk. I havent experinced what it feels like but,Im still always here"
]
reminder her that she is not the only one who lost a friend that you indeed lost a friend to. just set down and talk to her and help her threw things and she is gonna be upset for a couple of days because she just lost a friend give her time and she will come along. hope i helped
]
This is the hardest thing that someone can ever go through. I want to let you know that my heart is out to you, your friend, and everyone else who has been through a death in their family or friends.
Your friend is probably taking this a lot harder than you right now. And while we all cope differently, she pushes people away - that's how she seems to be coping with it. And while I'll admit that this isn't a healthy way to cope, she probably needs time to realize that herself. And eventually, I hope that she will. She needs to know that it won't solve the problem. What's happened has already happened. And she might feel bad that she can't change it. Perhaps she was so close with this friend that she felt as if she should have saw the signs.
How you feel is important to. And you shouldn't bottle it up inside. I would give it time and she how Jane is coming along. If she seems to get better with time, I'd address how she made you feel and how she needs to be able to talk to you because you both are in this situation together. Let her know that you are there for her and you'll always be. The key is to make her feel comfortable enough so that if she has a problem or she needs someone to talk to she can tell you about it instead of hurting you.
No matter what you say, sometimes people can't get over it. And what you say can't bring your friend who died back. But you can always be there for her, support her. Try to get her having fun again. Go out, meet guys, go to the movies. Haha whatever you can think of.
Again, I'm very sorry to her that. I hope you guys are okay. And if your not it does get better in time but it never fully will disappear. You'll always have memories and miss her. But keep those memories with you forever.
Take care, doll! Make sure you take care of yourself too.
-Mandee
]
You are trying your hardest. She keeps pushing you away. My advice, leave her alone. You tried. She's being a bitch about it for no reason. Tell her that she has no right to be like that to you when you are trying to help her in a time of need.
]
More Questions: |