"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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I'm a 20 year old female. I hate my life, I got Herpse from somewhere unknown I have alway been honest with my boyfriend. I also have erythema muliforme, which is an overreaction to the Herpse, every 3 weeks i break out i have black spots, painfull boils, itchy painfull blisters, and cold sores all over my body and face that dont go away, I used to be pretty now i cant even look at myself without crying.... I have thought to just end this pain and this hummilation. I'am a coward and i don't want to live as a monster... I thought about cutting my wrist,I think that would be a easy way, however i heard that advil od was also painless. (link)
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I know how it is to have herpes sores and feel like an ugly monster. I understand that. I don't have the erythema muliforme issue but I can still relate in many ways, especially when I was a child and suffered a severe allergic reaction to mosquito bites. It can be very embarrassing, I understand.
Whoever told you that this was lifelong lied though. Herpes IS a forever disease you will have to deal with but not erythema muliforme. I read up on your condition and did you know that someday it will all just stop? It does. Your body stops having the reaction and everything. Sometimes it's induced by some very simple lifestyle changes. Changes that you can actually make today, as in, right this very minute.
First, you should definitely see a immunologist because your regular physician isn't likely to have extensive knowledge on this condition. They may know basics that they quick-read up on when they heard about your condition but they can't offer immune therapy. Try to find your local immunologist and explain your condition to them. They may be able to offer helpful treatments to minimize your breakouts.
Changes you can make today:
I was reading on causes of this rare immune problem and it seems that a simple food preservative may be linked to the bodily outbreaks. It's an extremely common additive so it's highly likely you ingest a lot of it each day in very simple foods like breads. Sodium benzoate is what it will be listed in on the ingredients section. There are also some fruits that naturally contain this substance that you will want to start cutting out of your diet completely.
Some for-sure things you want to avoid: Apples, plums, cranberries, prunes, pickles, sodas, most salad dressings, all jams and fruit juices, artificial sweeteners, cinnamon, various condiments like mustard, cough syrups, and alcohol-based mouthwashes. You can find lots more by just looking through Google or reading the food labels in the supermarket.
Start reading the labels and avoiding it whenever possible. It can be tough to do but it's necessary at this point. You might consider changing your entire diet around--there are lots of healthier choices like vegetarianism, vegan, fruitarian, and even a raw diet. If you can find a healthy diet that reduces the amount of this simple preservative then that might be the way to do.
Again, this illness will eventually fade off. You won't have outbreaks any more. The sooner you can start reducing the outbreaks, the better, right? :)
Sometimes you have to make drastic changes to improve yourself. It's like wanting to be thin and pretty but having to lose 100lbs first to get to your goal. You can't just sit back and wait for it to magically disappear. You have to take action. I believe in you. I know you can change things up and see an improvements.
For the herpes outbreaks, it might be helpful to try to reduce the occurrence of them as well. Try picking up a bottle of L-Lysine and avoiding foods full of wheat gluten and various preservatives. L-Lysine can be taken for 2 weeks straight at up to 3000mg of lysine through the day. After two weeks, you'll want to give your body a break of the lysine for another 2 weeks. It helps you body from becoming a little immune to it. It isn't going to stop your outbreaks completely but it can help reduce the severity and the occurrence rate. You may also want to pick up things that will help your skin heal like vitamin E, vitamin C, and even some zinc.
Make sure you drink lots and lots of pure, clean water. No added flavors or anything. And take a multivitamin each day.
For note, you can contract herpes in a huge multitude of ways. You can get them even if you use condoms. You can get them from people who aren't having an outbreak (or maybe don't even know THEY have contracted herpes yet). You can have caught them in infancy or during childbirth and grew up not knowing. I caught the virus from drinking after my mother, who had outbreaks on her lips during the winter. Some people have outbreaks once every 10 years while others have outbreaks every month. It varies and, so, nobody is going to point fingers at you for being a "cheater" because you're not one.
Suicide isn't going to make the suffering end. I am a firm believer that the pain just dissipates to the people around you, who do love you and care about you. Nobody wants to see you suffer but NOBODY wants to see you die. Slitting your wrists is a very ineffective way to commit suicide anyway. You don't want to go out like that.
You have so much opportunity. I can see a very bright side on this. You suffer greatly but what if your problem goes away one day? What if you're the person they find an instant cure with? What if you can live 10 years from now and talk to people who do suffer from this and say, "I know it's hard. I dealt with it. I had these sores. I'm healed now and you can be too. There is hope!" Because there is always hope.
See a doctor that specializes in this. Start with a immunologist and, if they can't offer much more, ask them if they know if someone local that may be more helpful.
Change your diet. Look for the preservative in your purchases and try to avoid it. I know it can be hard to give up some of your favorite foods but one day you'll be able to eat them again.
Take care of your health. You're important. You have a great amount of positive opportunity with this. You can do great things if you can just take some more steps. You can really make a difference in the world. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true. You already have you foot in the door. It's time to take the right steps to walk on in.
Everyone here on the Advicenators site believes in you. We don't want to see you suffer but we do want to see you get better. All hope is not lost. You will not have to live this way forever. We know it's hard. We know it's scary and painful. We know you can make it through this though and become a strong, courageous person who can literally become a role model for thousands of people.
Suicide isn't the answer. I promise.
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how much does an abortion cost? i live in pittsburgh pa if that makes a difference. (link)
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Before I answer your question I really want to make you aware of a few things. I know in the end it is your body, your life, your decision, and possibly even your mistake. I am truly only concerned for your well-being and hope to make you a little more knowledgeable before you make a definite choice.
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
You don't say your age but I still found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. I'm not sure if you're a teenager or not but it seems that majority of the users on this site are so I hope you can relate. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
Planned parenthood usually charges a fee based on your income and what procedure they will be doing. Every planned parenthood tends to be different so your best option is to call them or stop by the clinic and ask them directly how much it would cost for them to do an abortion. They will need to know roughly how far along you are and may ask for your current income. Even if you don't have an income, I believe there is still a base price on the procedure at planned parenthood.
I am unsure if planned parenthood needs all of the money upfront for an abortion or not but I know that some expensive procedures you are able to pay on monthly. To be able to pay monthly you may need to show proof of income. Again, it's best if you call or visit the clinic to get a definite answer on this.
Here is the link to help you find your local planned parenthood if you're unaware of it's location. It lists the times the clinic is open, it's location, and the phone number:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/findCenterProcess.asp
In certain states you must be a specific age to be able to have an abortion without parental consent. You do not specify your age but I thought I'd add it in just in case it became a concern of yours.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things.
P.S. I do have some more abortion information that I do hope you decide to check out. It includes the different types of abortions you might be inclined to choose as well as helpful resources: http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=1043&userboard_id=48957
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is it bad if my librae is leaving an inprint on the inside of my lip.? (link)
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It will even if it isn't too tight but you need to be cautious of the "too tight" part.
If you flip down your lip and you see that you flesh is kind of trying to go over the metal flat piece then you need a longer bar. The skin will actually heal together if they get to touching for a prolonged period of time and you will have to cut it cut out of you. It will leave a pretty nasty scar.
If you're in doubt, go back to the piercer and have them give it a look over. They usually won't charge for that at all and you can make sure it looks healthy and right.
If it's a new piercing and is just a little swollen inside from being pierced then the swelling should go down within a few days. If it's too tight seeming then you should have your piercer change the bar out for something longer until the swelling goes down.
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I've been best friends with my friend for now 3 yrs.. & we're not your average type of bff's we do everything together , get into trouble together, talk about everything we're basiclly like sisters but lately I've been noticing her act diffrent.. she barely picks up my phone calls anymore and never calls back..takes a long time to respond to my text messages & I haven't seen her in over a week..I've asked her several times if somethings wrong or if I've done something to upset her but she responds with the same thing everytime I ask her which is no everythings fine. But its not like her to act like this..I don't want to believe in the fact that maybe our closeness has gottn to her and maybe she's annoyed? I don't want to lose the friendship.. please help? (link)
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It's possible that you two are just growing apart. It happens as you get get older. It can be hard to see friendships slowly degrade but it's something you will, eventually, have to deal with as you are growing into an adult.
Give her some more space.
Don't call unless you really do have something very interesting to talk about or are inviting her out some place with you. Give her some time to grow, too. Some people need space from friends every now and again. If you're doing "everything" together then it's possible she feels overwhelmed.
I wouldn't confront her about the situation just yet. I'd give her some space. Maybe only call once or twice a week. Asking her the same questions (ie "Is something wrong?") over and over can become irritating. It can actually make something wrong.
Relax.
This is part of growing up. I know you don't want to see things like this happen but sometimes people just need to be backed off of. Give her some time. Be open to keeping the friendship but don't push it.
Also remember that friendships are 50/50 too. You need to ask about her. How she's doing. If there's anything she wants to do this summer. If she has plans for the summer (with or without you). If she's seen any good movies coming out that she'd like to see.
See, I had this friend. She called all of the time. She was constantly calling. It was great at first to have a friend that was literally always there. The problem is that it gets tiresome. I ran out of interesting things to talk about. But she kept calling. Sure, she made conversation but there really is only so much you can listen to about another person before you need to take a breather.
So, I stopped answering the calls all of the time. She didn't quite get the hint. I still very much wanted to be her friend but it was tough. When we talked, all I heard about was her boyfriend this and that and her health problems. I wanted her to know stuff about me too and ask about how my boyfriend was doing too.
I know I did the wrong thing by ignoring her but I was only 16 like you. I didn't know how to handle a situation where someone was drowning me in their nothingness. She was a good person but there was only so much to take.
I, later, had another friend that was pretty decent. We ended up going on a trip together. We spent every moment together (even while asleep we had to share a bed). By the third day I just couldn't take it. I had to tell her, "Shut up!" I needed my space. I need to gather my own thoughts. I need to relax from all of the fun and drama and whatnot that I ended up lashing out at her.
If she isn't interested in still talking once you've given her adequate space then talk to her mom and make sure everything is OK. You don't have to be too nosey about it. Just call and say, "You know, I really like being friends with NAME but I've noticed she's been a little distant with me lately and I can't help but wonder if she's mad at me. Is everything OK with her or should I just give her more space this summer?" She may be going through something she wants to deal with alone or without you. If her mom says she's been sick or something you might even think to send her a basket of goodies for a get well gift.
If summer is about to end and she is still doing the same thing then you should get together with her and confront her face-to-face about the situation. Don't be hasty or drastic. Don't be angry. Just talk to her rationally about changing the stance of the friendship.
Friendships will come and go as you grow. Some will be very hard to lose but you will turn around and there will be on waiting for you. It's completely natural to drift apart from some people. Let things just flow.
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what's it feel like it a guy cums in you? can you tell? (link)
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If the guy isn't wearing a condom then you can very much tell unless, for some strange reason, you have desensitized your vagina.
For most women, it's a very pleasing experience. Sort of like a warm rush in that area of your body. It doesn't hurt, sting, or cause any sort of pain though. Since there is a fair amount of fluid that is released into a small space the vagina may feel very moist and full of fluid.
Wearing items like tampons can cause your sensations to diminish so some women barely feel anything at all. Some of them aren't even sure if the guy finished off until they go to the bathroom and realize they are leaking out some.
Pay attention to how your vagina usually feels on a typical day. When you're more conscious of your body then you can tell when things have changed and you can even begin feeling your period come before it's even due yet. Just notice how your body is usually and when you have sex you will be able to notice the different right off.
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What do I do ehen this guy I like a little bite? Do I say Yes or No???? I am only 10, so does that make the answer different??? (link)
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First you need to think of a few things:
What does dating mean to your age? Will that mean you go out to a movie? Eat some pizza together at your house or his? Does it mean making out? Or does it just mean putting labels on each other as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" and holding hands in the hallways at school? You need to know that.
Next, how do your parents feel about you dating? Talk to them. Get their feelings on if you're too young to date yet. Many times parents have a keen insight on things like this that you might not see yet. They might also be willing to help you have a nice time at you house with your soon-to-be boyfriend if they approve. Talk to them before making a decision.
Asking if someone wants to date you means:
"Would you like to get to know me better outside of our usual setting?"
Your usual setting is probably at school, right?
So, he's asking if you want to get to know him better when it doesn't relate to school. He might be interested in things like guitar and music or really into movies and skateboarding. Those are the things you learn about someone who you are dating sometimes. As the relationship progresses, you learn about more of their secrets and what really makes them who they are today, what they want in the future, and where their life is heading.
If you like him a little AND WANT TO GET TO KNOW HIM BETTER then it might be a good idea to date him for awhile, provided you have the discussion with your parents and are clear on what "dating" means to people your age. Your answer might be yes or it could be, "I'm sorry...I feel like we're just too young to be putting labels on each other like that right now. If you're really interested then ask me in a couple of years and maybe I'll give you a chance because you're a good person from what I know. I'd rather just focus on building healthy friendships right now."
Steps:
Clarify what dating means to 10 year olds.
Talk to your parents about dating.
Make a wise decision and let the boy know promptly.
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I was getting out of my sisters car and I slammed my finger in the door mow my finger nail is blue, will I lose my finger nail? or will the bluish color eventually go away? (link)
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It really depends on a lot of factors.
If there is swelling, bleeding under the nail, or you've cracked the nail itself then you can expect it to fall off. If the blue mark is fairly large in comparison to your fingernail then it will probably, eventually, fall off.
It has to do with the damage to the flesh underneath the fingernail and how severely damaged it is.
I lost a toenail recently because I dropped an aerosol can on it and it instantly bruised, hurt, and swelled. Later the nail turned black and when it was time to pull the rest of the nail off you could see that it had bled through the flesh part of the skin and under the nail.
When I lost my fingernail on my left hand I was about 10 or so and noticed the same thing. The skin had broken under the nail and was too damaged to survive so it withered away off of the nail so the nail could drop off and it could regrow healthy.
We can't really answer if you'll lose it or not because we can't inspect it. I'd have to guess it's just a 50/50 draw right now. You'll probably notice within the next few days of how much damage it took and if you will be expecting to lose the nail. Look for swelling, increased pain, and signs that it has bled under the nail itself.
If there is a lot of swelling you can see a doctor and they will actually remove some of the nail and drain the fluid (blood) so that you won't have so much pain in it. Feel free to use ice packs on your nail to help reduce the swelling too. Treat it as if you were treating any other bruise on your body.
If the nail falls off then don't worry. If you take care of yourself, take you vitamins, and are in relatively good health then you will both lose it and regrow majority of it within the next 6 months.
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I switched to being a vegetarian about a week ago. I ate too many fatty, fried foods (mostly meat) and have been trying to eat healthier. I've been making sure to get all the vitamins and minerals I need throughout the day and I did tons of research before I decided to go through with this.
The first two days I was grumpy and then I started to feel good and not as tired as I did when I ate meat. I changed to being a vegetarian for health reasons mostly. Is it normal to go through the "grumpies" at first? Has anyone else had this experience? (link)
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You may experience detox symptoms or symptoms similar to that of addiction withdrawal. It's absolutely completely normal. The detox time will be different for each person, depending on how much you consumed of the foods you cut down now, each day so it may be anywhere from a few days to multiple weeks.
Make sure you're drinking enough water too. Dehydration can come when you cut out particular foods so make sure you're drinking enough pure, clean water. No additives or sweeteners to it.
Many people find that if they wean themselves off of the meat products that they have a better reaction. If your moods are too strong or are too annoying for you to deal with then limit yourself to a little bit of meat each day and cut it down gradually so your body doesn't have all of these crazy reactions at once.
Meat is very much processed. There are lots of hormones in it along with many flavor enhancers being added to it. It's not actually the meat you're detoxing from, most likely. It's probably all of the synthetic crap we have been adding to the animals that you've been consuming.
So, relax and take care of yourself. Try consuming a little bit of fake meat products if you'd like, such as products by Morning Star Farms. Sometimes getting the "flavor of meat" can be helpful with subconscious cravings, especially if it turns out that you're just not getting enough protein in your diet. I particularly love nearly every veggie burger I've encountered. There are also chili and soups made vegetarian style with soy products that you might want to try out.
So, yes, it's fairly normal. If you're taking a multivitamin each day, drinking plenty of water, and regularly exercising then the symptoms are probably just from detoxing from the absolute crap we have been adding to our meat products this day and age. Give it some time and switch your new diet around a little if you need to.
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Okay so my baby is 6 months old and right now Im nursing at night. Just recently, about a week or two ago I noticed two red spots on my nipple. Not the actual nipple, but the outside of it. Theyre not bumps, just red spots. So anyways, yesterday they really started to itch and then when I wokeup instead of being just two red spots it was all around the nipple.
And now its really sore and itchy at the same time and it looks as if the skin has rubbed off some. It is also only on my right breast and not both of them.
What could this be? I am going to the doctor soon I just want to have an idea ahead of time. Thank you! (link)
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Could actually be a yeast infection, especially if you aren't strictly breastfeeding the baby.
The doctor will be able to prescribe you something that will be safe to take and continue nursing.
Yeast infections on the skin can happen if the area is moist and dirt and debris get into small cracks on the surface area. Many babies get oral thrush so make sure you get you baby's mouth checked out if it turns out to be just a basic yeast infection on the nipple and areola. Thrush (yeast infections) aren't deadly but they can be pretty uncomfortable for you and/or the infant. When babies have oral thrush they usually have white patches in their mouths on the tongue.
Try not to scratch at it and make sure you do exactly what your doctor tells you to help this clear up quickly.
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17/m
just so everyone understands, i am deeply spiritual in an occoultic or light-worker manner.
There are two main people i am torn between as leaders of two different groups, one from out the other. One in my original group is my teacher, Becca, and the other one has been a second mom and a confidant in the past, Summer.
These groups arent neccessarilly the same as cliques but psychic circles. Becca and summer have been at eachothers throats lately. Its for the same reasons as it has been Becca vs. whoever in the group. I left beccas group thinking it was time to do so, and joined Summers group. A sin against Beccas group. But then i started to feel closer to becca, i started praying for her and the group. I even started drawing wolves (symbolic to her as it part of her nickname. I felt a mix of emotions, thinking i have headed in the wrong direction. I have saved a chat log of summer, myself and a guy named Daniel talking and planing on the new group. Days later when i returned to the old group I had discovered Daniel had leaked some sort of information to Becca, and another person of leadership had enquired information from me so I had to show him the chat logs. I had intended to hide it but figured if Becca knew, it might bring eople closer together and know the true nature of those who left.
Some people in Beccas group are untrusting of the intentions of others. While I tried to leave with a whisper instead of a bang, a bang was percieved.
So i have lost a "mther" and one of my better friends, Daniel, is paranoid of me.
Im really not sure whats up with me because my heads been in a haze and my heart as well.
Along with my normal levels of impulsive insanity this is the worst display. Which impulsivenss is not my ownly insanity. Ive been contemplating suicide.
please do not condemn me as a sinner, i do that enough to myself. (link)
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This is part of life.
This is part of growing up.
Let's take all of the religious aspects away from this. Let's say it's as simple as eating in the lunch room. You sit at table A for 2 years solid and you enjoy your time there. You have a few good laughs and whatnot but then table B seems like it might be better suited for you, for whatever reasons. You wander on over to table B and decide to start eating lunch there instead. Table A isn't too happy about it but you do still have a decently strong friendship with one of the members of table A so you keep in friendship communications with that person even though table A no longer welcomes your presence during lunch.
Does this make it sound a little less, well, stressful?
It's really just part of growing up. You have to make your decisions and stick with them. When you make decisions like this you have to be prepared for a little consequences here and there. The problem is that you're dwelling on it. You should stop focusing on which table is better and focus on improving yourself. If you can't go back to the first group then that's OK. You can still have friendships with those people--that is completely acceptable if they're willing. You can make strong bonds with the new group if you so desire. Focusing on what you've left behind isn't doing anyone any favors though.
It's life decisions that we all deal with.
You get two job offers and you choose one of them over the other because you feel it is best suited for you. It's too late to turn back after a few weeks into it even. You just deal with it. You learn to accept the choice you made. The more you talk about it and focus on the what-ifs, the most dissatisfied you are. The more paranoid you are of making the wrong decision. If you would just accept your decision and be glad you have a job (ie: have a group to 'belong' in, religiously) then things won't be so bad.
Live and learn. Really.
Keep your friendships that you're able to keep. Know that friendships will always come and go in life. This religious decision might be one of your strong connections within a friendship but it shouldn't MAKE the friendship, you know? You don't have to like everyone in your group. You don't have to hate everyone in the group you didn't stick with. Nobody has to like or hate you for the final decision.
Be friends away from this. Go out and have fun without focusing on which group you "should" be in and start enjoying life a little. You're 17 years old. Chances are, your group isn't going to stay strong for the next 30 years, you know? People will live. People will join. Things will change. It's a part of life.
For all you know, a year from now you'll be believing in something completely different. You will have turned a new path. It doesn't mean you have to dislike the people you used to be connected with though.
Stop chatting about it online. Stop making it your first priority in life. Stop focusing on it all of the time. Enjoy being 17. Enjoy the friendships you have. Instead of focusing on negativity, focus on the positive aspects. Try to create new bonds, friendships, and repair the older ones if you can.
If the majority of your group is in your age range then you might expect some gossiping going around. Don't let it bother you. It happens. Again, this is life. Nothing is perfect. There will always be a positive thing on the other side of the coin but it doesn't mean you have to regret the decisions you make.
I won't preach to you about religious decisions that I don't necessarily agree with or condone. This, essentially, is not even about religion and the sooner you realize that, the better things will be handled.
Suicide is most definitely not your answer. Hang in there, grow and and learn. Things will always have their ups and downs. You will always have to make some sort of life-altering decision (even when you don't realize the outcomes at first).
Take this is an opportunity to grow instead of wither. You haven't "lost" anyone you don't want to lose if they were a true friend. If the only bond you had with them is the religious aspect (or the fact you belonged in their grouping) then that's pretty sad, don't you think? Try to focus on making friends that aren't necessarily focused on this sort of thing. It's a great way to meet people and get connected but if the friendship doesn't go any further than you belief system then you won't ever be happy or fulfilled.
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To begin, I have never had sex. I have fooled around with my boyfriend but he's the only one I've ever been with. However, and I don't know if fooling around is the cause, I've had a yellowish creamy discharge problem. From what I can remember, it's been like this for maybe a year but I always thought it was normal so I never found a need to say anything. But from what I've been reading, it sounds like a problem. I don't go to the gynocologist so I really don't know what to do. Are there any medicines that I can buy at a store that would fix this? Any help is appreciated, thanks. 17/f (link)
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While you can purchase things like yeast infection treatment from your regular supermarket, it isn't something you want to do.
Yellow discharge can be a sign of a whole bunch of things, as you may know from your internet research on it. The truth is, even virgins can have STDs and can you can easily contract these illnesses from your own hands and fingers during masturbation. It's very possible you have something like that even.
There is also the possibility that this is a bacterial infection. Bacterial infections have very similar symptoms of yeast infections. Yeast infections are fairly harmless--only kind of a nuisance or irritating. Bacterial infections can be very harmful though. They can leave you with life-long pelvic pain from a condition, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, that occurs if it's left untreated for so long. It also can make you completely infertile if you don't get it treated promptly. It does a lot of serious damage for having such little signs and symptoms.
The reason doctor's want you to come in for a check-up for problems that look like a basic yeast infection is because it can turn out to be the serious bacterial infection or even an STD. A lot of women feel that they know everything about their bodies and so will go on and purchase items like Monistat (over the counter yeast infection treatment) only to find out later that if they would have gone to the doctor in the first place that they would be healthier and happier in the long run.
Being 17, it's time to see a gynecologist for the first time. It might sound a little frightening since it's new but it's absolutely necessary.
We can't tell you for sure what the problem is but we can point you in the right direction. Before even considering over the counter treatments you need to see a doctor for a proper diagnosis. The issue might turn out to be nothing really or it could be something very serious.
It's you're health we're talking about. A 17 year old girl should be seeing a doctor for regular pap smears to ensure your own health anyway. It's actually recommended that you start these yearly check-ups once you begin having your periods. You may have already had your period for years now so it's plenty enough time to get checked out.
You might want to speak with your mother first to see what doctor she goes to for a good recommendation. She might even be kind enough to call and set up the appointment for you. You don't have to tell her anything except that you're having some female discharge problems and you want to see a doctor about it. Yeast infections can be caused by nearly anything so your mother probably won't ask too many more questions about what you think the problem is. Chances are, she's dealt with things like this herself.
If you just can't speak with your mother then you're going to have to do the calling yourself. There are lots of gynecologists listed in the phone book or you can call your local health department for assistance. Since you're underage, you may still need to let your mother know you have a doctor's appointment so it can be paid for. If you go to the health department for a check-up then it's likely you won't be charged if you're on the poorer side of the financial line. There are also places like Planned Parenthood which will help you get checked for a low, affordable fee.
There isn't any way around this. It's time to get your very first pap smear. It won't be too bad so don't worry. It's for your own health.
The pap smear will show cancerous cells, bacterial infections, and yeast infections so it's definitely something you want to have done regularly. If you explain your symptoms to your doctor he may want to take a vial of blood for a STD test--which I highly recommend suggesting to him anyway, just in case. It's always better to be safe than sorry.
Talk with the doctor about any other questions you have about your body. It's very important that things like this are handled quickly so don't be afraid to say, "Oh, and there is this other thing I didn't mention but I thought you might know something about..." They hear and see it all, trust me.
I hope things go well.
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Heyy, I'm looking into doing a research project and need some advice to help me figure out if it is worth moving foawrd with. I'm going to test the project on here, so please the more people that answer the better! it's super easy!
I just want to know if there are certain sodas you specifically dnt like because of the amount of fizz. whether it has too much or too little and what those drinks are.
and would you prefer if their were lines of soda that had light fizz and heavy fizz?? or would that be too many choices and/or annoying.
basically im trying to think of problems with soda so I can evaluate them. if you can give me any of your personal advice on these issues id REALLY appreciate it. this seems dumb, i know, but it's very important to me. thank you and i will rate!(: (link)
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The fizzing action actually makes my throat hurt as I swallow the soda.
I avoid Coke especially because of this. It just hurts. Not hurts so bad that I cry or anything but it's an uncomfortable sensation. Pepsi does it too but it doesn't seem to be as bad. I think it's because of the amount of fizz but I can't be for certain. No flat pop hurts when I drink it.
I like to drink the Pepsi Throwback and, especially, the Heritage Dr. Pepper. For some reason neither of these have enough fizz to cause my throat to hurt when I drink them. Good stuff.
The light fizz or heavy fizz thing would probably be too complicated for most people. I know that sounds absurd but people are already confused about "free" "diet" "zero" and things like the diet coke with added vitamins. There are so many options that it's possible it wouldn't go over very well. Personally, I would like it, but it doesn't mean it would fly with the rest of the world.
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my bf and i have this inside joke..long story. and im trying to find camoflauge underwear. i want it to be a thong style and either size large or medium...i have been looking everywhere...but i can't find anything...even online..help! i also dont want to have to buy a cami to go with it. just the underwear (link)
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Well, I typed into Google the phrase "camouflage thongs" and got a horde of good feedback on thongs. I even found a super cute thong and cami tank top set in camo print (but it was a one size fits most and I'm not sure what that means now):
http://www.amazon.com/Dreamgirl-Womens-Camouflage-Camisole-Matching/dp/B000SKP0WU
Here are some that come in various sizes and come in white or beige:
http://www.melaniegroup.com/Content/Products/103002_Camouflage-Thong_Cute_Teen_Underwear.htm
Camo G-String for one size fits most:
http://www.planetcostume.com/product.php?productid=18021
Camouflage G-string made out of sexy silk (out of stock right now but you can always keep an eye on it):
http://www.yandy.com/Silk-Camouflage-G-String.aspx
Camouflage Print Bra Top and G-String Set:
http://www.yandy.com/Camouflage-Print-String-Set.aspx
Here are a couple more:
http://www.yandy.com/T-Back.php
http://www.yandy.com/Camouflage-Thong-2005.php
http://www.yandy.com/Pattern-Thong.php
And another camo bra and panties set from Upscale Stripper:
http://www.upscalestripper.com/sexy-stripper-camouflage-g-string-matching-set.html
Here is one with the different kind of camo pattern in a size large:
http://www.eders.com/products/weber-camo-thong-mo-brkup.html
Here is a pink camo panty for all sizes from small to XL:
http://www.thecamoshop.com/Pink-Camo-Thong-Pantie/
I want to squeal with delight at this one...PURPLE camo thongs! HOW CUTE!:
http://www.thepurplestore.com/cgi-bin/product_detail.cgi?pstore_id=13481
Camo bikini bottoms (just in case you were curious..):
http://www.rockytrail.com/camo-thong-bikini-bottoms.aspx
These camo thongs have a cute little pink bow on them:
http://www.highmaintenancecamo.net/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=46
On this page...scroll down or search for the words "Silk Camo Thong" and "Camo Thong" to find a couple basic but cute ones (just click the image to see it larger):
http://www.gartersbygingersnap.com/CamoLingerie.html
Here are these:
http://www.collegiatecamo.com/camo-lingerie-thong-panty.html
Oh, and I really actually like these (they also come in M/L too):
http://www.shopbarbara.com/Panties/Commando/ctcamo.html
I'm surprised at how many camo thongs for MEN there are. Insane. I wouldn't have thought so but, apparently, it looks pretty popular. Hmm...
Still not satisfied? Let me know and I'll keep searching...
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so there was one question on here that somebody asked. she said "he "came" in my stomach but not vagina" and they said you couldn't get pregnant from that?! i am so confused!i know in sex the penis goes into the vagina and i think into your stomach right? so arent the "rules" like if the sperm goes in the vagina you get pregnant, but as you travel up the vagina you get to the stomach right? i hope this makes sense lol thnx :)
-14/f (link)
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No, no, no.
Your stomach is where food digests. There is no entry way from your vagina to your stomach.
The vagina extends upward to the UTERUS. The uterus is where the eggs come down from ovaries and are fertilized. In the uterus, the fertilized egg will attached to the uterine wall and will grow. 9 months later the mother will give birth to a little boy or girl.
The penis will not go into the uterus at all, actually. There is a small thing call your cervix which prevents things like that. It also prevents tampons from getting lost inside of you. So, when the guy enters you, he will come on the cervix. The cervix then acts like a little vacuum and will contract to suck up the fluid into the uterus. The egg will then be waiting in the uterus for the sperm to find.
Here is a simple diagram:
http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/images/reproductive.gif
Note: Ovaries are where your eggs are waiting before they are released for fertilization. They travel down the fallopian tubes and into the uterus to meet sperm.
As you can see, there is absolutely nothing connecting the uterus to the stomach area. The uterus is much lower than the stomach. That is why you experience cramps in the LOWER half of your abdomen.
I know this diagram isn't the greatest but it can help you see that the stomach isn't anywhere near your female parts:
http://www.healthsquare.com/fgwh/wh1c2302.jpg
So, if the guy came in your stomach it would have to mean you swallowed the sperm (or he somehow opened your body up and...yeah, let's not think about that! Eww!). Now, if he came IN your vagina then you might get pregnant.
If he came ON your vagina there is still a possibility because sperm can seep into the vagina. If he came ON your stomach then it isn't anywhere near the entrance so the only way you could get pregnant is if you actually moved the sperm yourself with your hands or something onto (or into) you vagina.
Clearer yet? :)
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13/f ok, so i went out witha boy let's just call him 1 and we went out for like three weeks. this boy was my best friends brother but it really wasn't a real real realationship because i had never seen him in person. Anyways we broke up because my bestfriends brother wanted to go out with me so he broke us up. Anyways so for a while i was single. Then this other boy lets call him 2 asked me out and he just seemed sweet and i felt like if i said no i would brake his heart. So i said yeah. But then he told everybody so people were expecting us to hug each other and kiss each other and all that. I really also felt like since i was in 7th and he was in 5th that i was too much for him. Anyways a week after me and 2 started going out he told me that he loved me. That sort of turned me off because we had onlybeen going out for a week. Then he asked me if i loved him and once again i didn't want to break his heart so i said you could say that iam falling in love with you. Then we started kissing each other but i think thst was only because everyone else wanted us too. Then one day i heard by bestfriend talking about how 1 and 2 were friends. Which made everyone call me all these name like i am grimy and a hoe and a slut which really hurt. Any how news got back to 1 and he was really mad and he told his sister who is my age and know she wants to fight me, and so does his ex- girlfriend and his new girlfriend and three other girls. So that isa total of five. But i broke up with2 because we were on two different pages and he was way too clingy. So now i have know friends. But now my ex-best friend's brother is trying to talk to me again. And i am trying to reject him because one, he has a girlfriend, two i went out with one of his friends, and three i went out with his cousin, and four his sister really doesn't like me anymore for some of the decisions i made... so what should i do
sorry for the length thanks (link)
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Being 13 means you're probably pretty new to this dating thing. Being 13 also means that a lot of your peers don't have anything else to do other than stick their noses into your business.
If you want to date a boy then approach him and let him know you're interested. There's no need to worry about what the kids at school are going to say or think. If you aren't acting like a whore (like being sexual) then they're just trying to make drama where drama doesn't exist.
If a boy that likes you asks you out and you really have no interest in him then spare him the heartbreak by telling him upfront. I know it might feel a little cruel at first but it's better than leading him on and making him think that you might be interested in him as well. It's tough, I know, but you have to stand up for yourself. Just say, "I really think you're a great person but I don't have feelings for you like that at all. We can be friends but I don't see us ever being anything else." If he continues to push the subject then don't ignore it. Confront him and tell him that you don't want to be pushed into something you simply do not want. Make yourself clear and thing will go smoother.
Ignore what the people at school want to whine about. The issue is between you and (your boyfriend / soon-to-be boyfriend / prospective boyfriend / etc.). You can explain to him, whoever he may be at the time, what happened if he is curious. There's no need to hide things, especially if you're trying to build a real relationship. Simply explain about this situation, "I didn't want to hurt his feelings at the time. I've learned my lesson though and I know not to repeat something like that. I just ended up digging a mess hole for myself. I should have just been upfront and told him I really wasn't interested."
Be yourself. 13 year olds will focus on some of the silliest things so don't let your friends at school beat on you too bad with this gossip. Don't let it get to you. If you aren't being slutty then you aren't a slut and you don't need to worry about how they perceive your actions.
Even if you stood in front of the whole class and said, "I didn't want to hurt him!" they still would gossip. It's what they do. They will do that for a long time. Even adults gossip--look at the tons of celebrity magazines. They're gossiped about all of the time.
Know that these rumors aren't going to ruin your life. Really. They aren't. They aren't even going to damage your image if they aren't true. Simply go with the flow, hold your head up high, and move on with life. If you meet a boy you like and you're iffy it will affect the relationship between yourself and him then tell him exactly what happened. Even if he doesn't know but you want to explain yourself just say, "You know, last year (or whenever) I had this crazy thing happen to me and I just want to tell you about it so nobody else comes to you first and makes up more lies. There was this boy that REALLY liked me. He was into me but I wasn't feeling him at all. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I did go out with him. People started saying I was dirty and stuff though..." and explain. If he cares then he'll be able to get over this. It isn't like you had sex with somebody, you know?
Ignore the name calling.
Only explain yourself to the people who need the explanations.
Understand that this is NOT going to ruin your life.
Expect to gain and lose friendships every year. You might begin a year with 3 really close, awesome friends but end with only 1 friendship with someone you met along the way. It's a part of growing up. Relax and go with the flow.
Feel free to talk to whoever it is you want to talk to but be upfront. If he has a girlfriend then make it CLEAR that you are not interested in a relationship with him while he's taken. It's better to be honest and upfront so they know who you really are from the very beginning.
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100 years ago, NOBODY died of lung cancer because they didn't even know it exsisted! people 100 years ago smoked heavily too. Now all of a sudden people can get lung cancer? we're not any different then the people 100 years ago. Also I am a non smoker I live with my mom and her boyfriend, I've looked it up and have asked many questions about "second hand smoke" apparently even though I TRY to get away from the smoke I am still breathing it in even when I go to my room? is this true? I cant leave my house to get away from it, my parents don't care whether I talk to them or not so talking to them does NOO good.
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It makes all of the sense.
100 years ago we didn't spray our tobacco crops with as many pesticides as we do today.
We didn't whiten the cigarette paper with as such strong chemicals.
We didn't eat foods that were shot up with hormones, sprayed with flavor enhancers, or fed crop that was doused in pesticides.
Our bodies can only take so much, in my opinion. If you smoke 1 cigarette a month it's likely to not do too much damage. But if you smoke 1 a day, the effects are much greater. I feel cancer goes well beyond one problem. A smoker might not get lung cancer if they lead otherwise very healthy and natural lives. We don't know that though but that doesn't really exist in our society any more.
100 years ago? Maybe. They didn't have as much processed, well, anything. They didn't eat until they were stuffed full and nearly gagging from it--they ate sensibly. They didn't eat bags of doritos for dinner. They didn't go outside and spray pesticides out their back door to keep the mosquitoes down this year. They didn't pop pills because they felt sad or because they felt "too" energetic. They didn't shove drying cotton up their vaginas that came from pesticide sprayed plants and bleached white. They didn't have nuclear fallout or radiation from when bombs were dropped halfway around the world.
We live extremely different lives now. We rely on some man-made things that didn't exist 100 years ago. Our bodies haven't changed so much that with can withstand everything that we're doing it to it now.
You won't get away from the second hand smoke unless you leave the house and go some place with no smokers. The smoke can slide in through cracks of doors and windows. It can waft in when you open the door to enter or exit your bedroom. Allowing no smoking in or near your room does cut down on you inhalation though but not nearly enough to deem your room as safe and nontoxic.
Is it possible for you to do a little...home project? Create anti-smoking signs and posters. Make a big project board of non-smoking. Include scary, scary pictures of smoker's lungs. Put education information on why smoking is harmful and how it hurts the people around the smoker. Sometimes seeing the images is greater than just hearing about it. Just like with STDs--you might think they sorta, kinda sound scary but when you see the images you're like, "HOLY CRAP!"
And know that smoking is seriously addictive. Just like alcohol or even heroine. It takes a long time to stop and even then they will always be a "recovering" person. They will always have that urge. My dad tried to stop smoking. He successfully quit but nearly 6 months later the cravings were still there and he broke down and started up again. Just like alcoholism--the desire doesn't ever leave. It's a hard habit and drug to quit so you have to be supportive if they ever do decide to try.
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First of all, its only bad if you leave it in for more than two days. Second, they sell cigerattes, and that kills people too soo.... you can wear tampons whenever. pads are like diapars. you sit in your own blood all day. groooossss. plus it stinks and they leak. People can choose for themselfes if they want to wear tampons or pads so stop being negative and talking crap. (link)
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Wow, if you're leaving in a tampon for two days then you're pretty darn lucky you haven't died yet. Look up Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). If you actually take the time to read the little instructional pamphlet in the tampon package you'll see a little information about the life-threatening illness. Yeah, that's right, life-threatening. As in, you can die. As in, most women do die of it when it occurs.
They sell cigarettes but did you know that many states have began to outlaw them now? They have. There's no more public smoking in some places. Heck, there are laws being considered right now to keep an entire county tobacco free. Just like alcohol. Did you know there are lots of places in the United States that have outlawed alcohol in particular areas? Seriously! They realized how much of a hazard it is and started to take steps to improve the lives of people.
If you're a clean person then pads aren't like diapers. You go to the bathroom every 2 hours, change it, and wipe yourself up. You don't hear mothers complaining, "Eww! The baby wears...DIAPERS?! That's disgusting!" If you think it's so gross then why would you put your infant in it? Why would you put an elderly woman or man in depends when they are in a nursing home? The answer is that it isn't disgusting, bad, diseased, and you can't lose your life wearing it. It's called practicing proper personal hygiene.
If you're wearing a pad so long that it leaks then you aren't doing it properly. You should be changing a lot more often than that. You should be taking care to make sure you don't smell by cleaning yourself each time you go to the restroom. You should be taking trips the restroom just so you can change. Just FYI: Tampons can leak too.
I'm not "talking crap" but, rather, am being concerned for the health and safety of you (and other Advicenators). Tampons aren't your best friend. I'm not "dissing" them to make myself look better. I'm telling you the truth. They're deadly. They're toxic. And they're cancerous.
If you had to choose between dying of cancer or living a long, cancer-free life which would you choose? I think that's a pretty easy question. I'm trying to help. I'm saying, "Hey! That causes cancer! Just because it's on the shelves doesn't make it safe. Please educate yourself first!"
Just like cigarettes. They now have warning labels but they didn't at one time because people just automatically assumed they wouldn't hurt. As years went on studies began to find them to be cancerous. They decided they might not be so good to smoke. They started to inform people.
I am informing you. Tampons are not safe. They are not healthy. They will hurt you if you use them. I gave plenty of helpful resources to back-up the information I provided to you so that you knew I wasn't just pulling information out of the air. I'm telling you the cold, hard facts. You really can't deny them. Sure, ignore them if you want though. That's your life.
I hope someone will listen to the information I provided though because it's time to think for yourself. It's time to take action for your own health and safety.
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17/f
i am sexual active with my boyfriend and for about a month or two now my vagina has been very irritated.. i thought it was a yeast infection so i used the yeast infection kit and it worked for a little bit but then i continued to be irritated.
i haven't really had any changes in my discharge and i don't smell any different down there.
what are some vaginal infections that this could be?
thanks for the help (link)
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It really could be something like a bacterial infection or an STD. You won't know if you don't get it checked out.
They sell over-the-counter yeast infection kits but did you know that doctor's recommend you see them for the first handful of times you experience a yeast infection? You wanna know why? Sometimes the "yeast infection" turns out to be a serious bacterial infection. A bacterial infection can actually cause something called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. PID is really, really excruciatingly painful and can last a lifetime. It can also leave you completely infertile. The signs and symptoms mimic yeast infections in most women!
See why it's important to discuss this problem with a professional health care provider? Even if it SOUNDS like something simple or basic it could turn out to be something pretty hurtful and possibly even deadly in some cases.
Call your doctor up and let them know you need to be examined for infections and whatnot. Tell them you're sexually active and are having the above symptoms you have described. If you want, you can tell them you used an OTC yeast infection treatment kit and it didn't really work so you're scared it might be something more. They'll get you an appointment and you can be checked out.
I'm not saying that your boyfriend has STDs but irritation down below is a big symptom of a few of them. STDs can be spread lots of ways. People can even be born with them so it isn't like the people who contract them are dirty. Make sure you get tested at your doctor's appointment JUST IN CASE. You don't want something to go unnoticed, trust me. Just like the bacterial infection, if it's left long enough some serious complications can occur and you can be sorry you waited for the rest of your life.
When something just doesn't feel right it's your body screaming at you that something IS not right. See a doctor ASAP.
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I am going to the doctor for my first check up and I was reading online for what to expect during a papsmear. I saw a few of the questions they might ask you and one of them was about sexual activity.
My boyfriend and I aren't having real sex yet. I mean, he hasn't gone inside me like that. He has fingered me and I've given him a handjobs and blowjobs though (and we do this pretty frequently).
Now, is that considered sexually active? Because I read that it was really important to tell them the truth about this sort of thing. I don't want to be lying to them but I'm just not sure if this counts. Am I sexually active? (link)
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Yes.
If a guy had contact with your vaginal area or you have contact with his genitals then you are sexually active and you will need to tell the doctor that. You can tell the doctor, "I am sexually active because I have engaged in mutual masturbation with ## of guys; however, I have not engaged in penetration type intercourse." This way he knows if you are at risk of something. Just as a side note, fingernails can and do carry disease like HPV and herpes.
It is important to tell them. Good job on being smart about your own health and safety.
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Why did I lose weight fast? I only been dieting for 10 days and people have been telling me I looked like I was losing weight, so when I weighed myself I found out I lost 15 pounds. Someone told me that a person could only lose 1 pound a week while dieting. Why did I lose 15? I didnt starve myself and I did work out.Will losing weight fast negatively affect me later?I'm not overweight either, I just wanted to get rid of my stomache, so I walked and did sit ups (link)
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It is likely water weight, which may be pretty harmful actually.
Make sure you are drinking enough pure, clean water every single day. No sugars. No colors. No flavors. Just water. Exercising makes you sweat more and release more water. Water helps you metabolize your food.
10 days isn't long enough to already be building muscle to break down fat.
It's likely to be water weight that you are shedding so quickly. You may actually be dehydrated even. 15lbs is an insane (and fairly unnatural) amount for that amount of time. Make sure you're doing things properly to be healthy. Health is more important than losing 15lbs.
If you up your drinking of water you may actually notice your weight fluctuate back up. If it does, chances are you were pretty dehydrated.
If you're urine is a little darker than usual then you could be dehydrated as well.
Remember that didn't "starve" yourself doesn't mean you still got enough calories and nutritional value in your food. Watch what you eat. Count your calories. Take a multivitamin to make sure you're getting enough vitamins. Take care of yourself.
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