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Occultic light worker contemplating suicide HELP?
17/m
just so everyone understands, i am deeply spiritual in an occoultic or light-worker manner.
There are two main people i am torn between as leaders of two different groups, one from out the other. One in my original group is my teacher, Becca, and the other one has been a second mom and a confidant in the past, Summer.
These groups arent neccessarilly the same as cliques but psychic circles. Becca and summer have been at eachothers throats lately. Its for the same reasons as it has been Becca vs. whoever in the group. I left beccas group thinking it was time to do so, and joined Summers group. A sin against Beccas group. But then i started to feel closer to becca, i started praying for her and the group. I even started drawing wolves (symbolic to her as it part of her nickname. I felt a mix of emotions, thinking i have headed in the wrong direction. I have saved a chat log of summer, myself and a guy named Daniel talking and planing on the new group. Days later when i returned to the old group I had discovered Daniel had leaked some sort of information to Becca, and another person of leadership had enquired information from me so I had to show him the chat logs. I had intended to hide it but figured if Becca knew, it might bring eople closer together and know the true nature of those who left.
Some people in Beccas group are untrusting of the intentions of others. While I tried to leave with a whisper instead of a bang, a bang was percieved.
So i have lost a "mther" and one of my better friends, Daniel, is paranoid of me.
Im really not sure whats up with me because my heads been in a haze and my heart as well.
Along with my normal levels of impulsive insanity this is the worst display. Which impulsivenss is not my ownly insanity. Ive been contemplating suicide.
please do not condemn me as a sinner, i do that enough to myself.
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Get Niacin you can get it at any GNC or vitamin shop.
It is why suicidal patients get better. Look it up.
Its your only option Most people will be totally cured from depression im a matter of weeks.
I have tried every thing there is and this is the only thing that works.
Dont stop taking it. With out Niacin it is impoossible to get better.
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hey
first and for most take a deep breath and relax...
I know what you are going through is pretty much hurting you and the people that said they cared for you seem not to care at all.
- I know you are an amazing person and some of your ex-group members are showing signs of jelousy which is not at all healthy for any sort of relationships.
- I say, know who truly cares for you and know the people that want to help you through this issue.
- Don't worry, life brings all of us great challenges and it is up to us to fight for our happiness and well being. You are a warrior and I know you know that being surrounded by negative people is not going to do you any good.
- You are staring to realize who these so called "mother" and "best friend" truly are.
- If they deserve to be called this, they will want to fix things with you and move on. If not, then it is going to hurt YES it is... but you will have to move on to better peopole and be surrounded by those who love you for who you are and appreciate all that you have done for them.
- Live life doing positive things and learning hoe to deal with hardships in a positive manner dont give up and let this situation get to you.
- Relax, keep yourself focused for a true enjoyment of the many amazing things that life has to offer surrounded by true caring people and away from negative thoughts and actions.
- I know you can do it make your decisions into a loving environment away from jelousy and hatred and into love and positive change
-you are not a sinner at all sometimes religious cults are too hard on people and I think that is not fare.
- follow your heart into a loving life path I know you have so much left to experience in this world and so many things to learn.
- I am here as well if you ever need to talk, you are welcomed any time to express your thoughts and ask me any questions that you might be finding hard to answer during this hectic period.
- I wish you the best always and looking forward to getting an E-mail or a reply to my answer and your question.
-Keep strong I know you can do so much to make everything better.
-atruefriend3
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This is part of life.
This is part of growing up.
Let's take all of the religious aspects away from this. Let's say it's as simple as eating in the lunch room. You sit at table A for 2 years solid and you enjoy your time there. You have a few good laughs and whatnot but then table B seems like it might be better suited for you, for whatever reasons. You wander on over to table B and decide to start eating lunch there instead. Table A isn't too happy about it but you do still have a decently strong friendship with one of the members of table A so you keep in friendship communications with that person even though table A no longer welcomes your presence during lunch.
Does this make it sound a little less, well, stressful?
It's really just part of growing up. You have to make your decisions and stick with them. When you make decisions like this you have to be prepared for a little consequences here and there. The problem is that you're dwelling on it. You should stop focusing on which table is better and focus on improving yourself. If you can't go back to the first group then that's OK. You can still have friendships with those people--that is completely acceptable if they're willing. You can make strong bonds with the new group if you so desire. Focusing on what you've left behind isn't doing anyone any favors though.
It's life decisions that we all deal with.
You get two job offers and you choose one of them over the other because you feel it is best suited for you. It's too late to turn back after a few weeks into it even. You just deal with it. You learn to accept the choice you made. The more you talk about it and focus on the what-ifs, the most dissatisfied you are. The more paranoid you are of making the wrong decision. If you would just accept your decision and be glad you have a job (ie: have a group to 'belong' in, religiously) then things won't be so bad.
Live and learn. Really.
Keep your friendships that you're able to keep. Know that friendships will always come and go in life. This religious decision might be one of your strong connections within a friendship but it shouldn't MAKE the friendship, you know? You don't have to like everyone in your group. You don't have to hate everyone in the group you didn't stick with. Nobody has to like or hate you for the final decision.
Be friends away from this. Go out and have fun without focusing on which group you "should" be in and start enjoying life a little. You're 17 years old. Chances are, your group isn't going to stay strong for the next 30 years, you know? People will live. People will join. Things will change. It's a part of life.
For all you know, a year from now you'll be believing in something completely different. You will have turned a new path. It doesn't mean you have to dislike the people you used to be connected with though.
Stop chatting about it online. Stop making it your first priority in life. Stop focusing on it all of the time. Enjoy being 17. Enjoy the friendships you have. Instead of focusing on negativity, focus on the positive aspects. Try to create new bonds, friendships, and repair the older ones if you can.
If the majority of your group is in your age range then you might expect some gossiping going around. Don't let it bother you. It happens. Again, this is life. Nothing is perfect. There will always be a positive thing on the other side of the coin but it doesn't mean you have to regret the decisions you make.
I won't preach to you about religious decisions that I don't necessarily agree with or condone. This, essentially, is not even about religion and the sooner you realize that, the better things will be handled.
Suicide is most definitely not your answer. Hang in there, grow and and learn. Things will always have their ups and downs. You will always have to make some sort of life-altering decision (even when you don't realize the outcomes at first).
Take this is an opportunity to grow instead of wither. You haven't "lost" anyone you don't want to lose if they were a true friend. If the only bond you had with them is the religious aspect (or the fact you belonged in their grouping) then that's pretty sad, don't you think? Try to focus on making friends that aren't necessarily focused on this sort of thing. It's a great way to meet people and get connected but if the friendship doesn't go any further than you belief system then you won't ever be happy or fulfilled.
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Doktor Tammy, I got a very weird vib from that video. was it a joke that I missed?
not only that but
The poster of that video wrote:
"Jews control the legal systems of every major government. If you're too f*cking lazy to learn these techniques, don't blame us that you're a bitch for the Jews.
Buy your licenses, pay your taxes, surrender your freedom, Jew bitch!"
as for you Occultic, you sound so deep into in that cult that any reasoning with you is with doubt
Find Jesus -- no one else can save you.
Ignore the spirit and it will harden the heart.
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Dear ‘Occultic light worker contemplating suicide HELP?’
It is a sad day when an earthly spirit like yourself is devastated into thinking about killing yourself. A drastic end to such a beautiful light. The eternal sleep is not for you, your journey and life’s mission is not yet fulfilled.
It is time you went your own way. In our lives we have teachers, parents, and walk throughs that teach us what we need to know at that time in our lives and then move on. You have learned all you can from Becca and Summer. It is time for you to seek out a new teacher. Someone who can teach you what the others have not. If you cannot find a teacher, then seek out the information and teach yourself.
I am a powerful Empath and I can tell you from experience, as a Psychic, Becca is an Energy Vampire. Most of the time, people like Becca do not even realize they are Vampires. This would explain your confusion, haziness, and wanting to draw symbols representing her. Summer seems harmless and uncontrolling, but Becca is draining your essence, controlling your moods, and causing you serious turmoil. It would be better for you to limit your exposure to Becca, and get some psychic protection from her to block her energies. This is not your fault, you are deeply spiritual and that leaves you open for intentional and unintentional psychic attacks.
Besides, if Becca was a true spiritual being, she would encourage your spiritual growth, even if it meant that you were leaving her group.
As for the logs, you showed them, told the truth, and moved on. However, it is Daniel that you should be wary of here. Daniel cannot be trusted. He has betrayed you and caused big problems. The log situation was his fault, not yours. He did not have to mention anything about the subject. So how did it get brought up? Did he offer the information? If so, what are his motives for this?
I would never condemn anyone for being a sinner when that other being knows not what their sin is. Do you know what your sin is and how you got it? That is right, I said IT.
This link will set you free my love.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Watch all of the series from this video. This will give you a deeper spiritual understanding of the world at large.
It is the Advice of this Doktor that you seek out new life and new civilizations, and to boldly go where you have never gone before. It is time for you to say good bye to the groups, and set an example as someone who seeks the truth in the light and does not mess around with the silly drama, backstabbing, lying, and manipulation. If you are focused on this, you cannot be focused on spiritual health. You have learned all that you can learn from the groups you are with, so move on, and continue to enlighten yourself through self exploration. Most of the time, we need teachers to help us along, but there comes a time when we must move on and learn things for ourselves.
Nothing prepares us like real life education.
Stay awake and stay safe.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I am here anytime you need me. Just ask. Good Luck!
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