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friendship growing old ?
I've been best friends with my friend for now 3 yrs.. & we're not your average type of bff's we do everything together , get into trouble together, talk about everything we're basiclly like sisters but lately I've been noticing her act diffrent.. she barely picks up my phone calls anymore and never calls back..takes a long time to respond to my text messages & I haven't seen her in over a week..I've asked her several times if somethings wrong or if I've done something to upset her but she responds with the same thing everytime I ask her which is no everythings fine. But its not like her to act like this..I don't want to believe in the fact that maybe our closeness has gottn to her and maybe she's annoyed? I don't want to lose the friendship.. please help?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The poster above me is right of course. If your friend has a boyfriend, then that could be the reaason? I know my best friend and i have been friends since before i started school, and i'm 15 now. I've been dating my current boyfriend for over a year and its been a serious relationship. And since we started dating me and my best friend hasn't hung out like we used to. I used to call her all the time and talk to her on facebook, but now i dont call anyone or even get on facebook. If your friend has a bf then maybe shes too busy with him. But if thats not the case then maybe you two are just getting older and she has found new friends? I've been through alot of friends, either they've moved or they just found new friends. Maybe invite her over and you two can go out and have fun? maybe movies or bowling or something? I hope i helped some! Goodluck!
-J
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It's possible that you two are just growing apart. It happens as you get get older. It can be hard to see friendships slowly degrade but it's something you will, eventually, have to deal with as you are growing into an adult.
Give her some more space.
Don't call unless you really do have something very interesting to talk about or are inviting her out some place with you. Give her some time to grow, too. Some people need space from friends every now and again. If you're doing "everything" together then it's possible she feels overwhelmed.
I wouldn't confront her about the situation just yet. I'd give her some space. Maybe only call once or twice a week. Asking her the same questions (ie "Is something wrong?") over and over can become irritating. It can actually make something wrong.
Relax.
This is part of growing up. I know you don't want to see things like this happen but sometimes people just need to be backed off of. Give her some time. Be open to keeping the friendship but don't push it.
Also remember that friendships are 50/50 too. You need to ask about her. How she's doing. If there's anything she wants to do this summer. If she has plans for the summer (with or without you). If she's seen any good movies coming out that she'd like to see.
See, I had this friend. She called all of the time. She was constantly calling. It was great at first to have a friend that was literally always there. The problem is that it gets tiresome. I ran out of interesting things to talk about. But she kept calling. Sure, she made conversation but there really is only so much you can listen to about another person before you need to take a breather.
So, I stopped answering the calls all of the time. She didn't quite get the hint. I still very much wanted to be her friend but it was tough. When we talked, all I heard about was her boyfriend this and that and her health problems. I wanted her to know stuff about me too and ask about how my boyfriend was doing too.
I know I did the wrong thing by ignoring her but I was only 16 like you. I didn't know how to handle a situation where someone was drowning me in their nothingness. She was a good person but there was only so much to take.
I, later, had another friend that was pretty decent. We ended up going on a trip together. We spent every moment together (even while asleep we had to share a bed). By the third day I just couldn't take it. I had to tell her, "Shut up!" I needed my space. I need to gather my own thoughts. I need to relax from all of the fun and drama and whatnot that I ended up lashing out at her.
If she isn't interested in still talking once you've given her adequate space then talk to her mom and make sure everything is OK. You don't have to be too nosey about it. Just call and say, "You know, I really like being friends with NAME but I've noticed she's been a little distant with me lately and I can't help but wonder if she's mad at me. Is everything OK with her or should I just give her more space this summer?" She may be going through something she wants to deal with alone or without you. If her mom says she's been sick or something you might even think to send her a basket of goodies for a get well gift.
If summer is about to end and she is still doing the same thing then you should get together with her and confront her face-to-face about the situation. Don't be hasty or drastic. Don't be angry. Just talk to her rationally about changing the stance of the friendship.
Friendships will come and go as you grow. Some will be very hard to lose but you will turn around and there will be on waiting for you. It's completely natural to drift apart from some people. Let things just flow.
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