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What is he thinking?
Okay, so I've known this guy for about a year and we became friends with the intentions of hooking up. A year later, we still talk ALL the time and we've hooked up one other time since then with the occasional sext. He moved about four hours away and I moved away to college so we are about 8 hours away so I don't see him often. My problem is I want to know if this is considered a booty call or not because he still chooses to talk to me. I know he talks to other girls and he has had sex with others over the course of the year and he could easily just be talking to them as often as with me...He hasn't been in a real long-term relationship so that's why I would assume it's just a booty call.
But, at the same time, we've talked about things other than sex before and he's randomly confided things he's upset about at the time or what's going on in his life in the course of a year, which is the same with me. We also do flirt a lot. And, last night, he told me was coming to visit home and I agreed to hang out with him and he replied, "Okay, it's a date" which he has never done before.
I just want to know what's going on inside his head because I don't understand the effort he puts into talking to me if I'm just a booty call. We are so far away, and we could easily not see each other again. We only do because of his occasional visit, which is so rare so I don't see the point in talking to me everyday.
On my part, I really care about him as a friend, and maybe more, but I really don't know if I see us in a relationship together. But that could easily change if he liked me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
A Booty call? - Yes
Friends with benefits? - Yes
Fuck buddy? - Yes
All of the above.
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He puts in the effort because he's a guy and you are a potential booty call. Keep in mind, guys don't think like girls. You're thinking because you have other things in common and talk about other things that you might have a real relationship. He's thinking that because you are willing to have sex with him, he needs to keep talking to you so you're available to him when he wants you. I'm sorry, no girl wants to hear this, but you are a booty call. If you like him and want him to like you back, don't have sex with him. Seriously, just read around on this website. look at the other letters from girls in your situation. They are all the same. You can't make a guy "like" you by just sleeping with him. It actually has the opposite effect. Think about it, by hooking up, you're just like every other girl who gives it up. You're not special. What makes you special and stand out is holding yourself and those who want to know you to a higher standard. The sex is getting in the way of him really seeing you for who you are, and getting to know all the really awesome things about you. Stop sleeping with him. I'm right on this one. I know. I married my college sweetheart, who was a total player and slept around all the time, but I wanted to wait until marriage. I once asked him if I had slept with him when we first met would he have ended up marrying me. He said, honestly no. Because you would have been just like every other girl and I would have moved on to the next booty call. But the fact that I wouldn't sleep with him when he could have ANYONE he waned really interested him. He wanted to find out what was so special about me. And he did. Now he is my faithful, loving husband 11 years later. So just lay low on the booty calls. If you stop sleeping with him and you notice he doesn't really keep in touch anymore, you know he was just using you. But on the other hand, he might become more interested and want to be with you more. Either way, if you keep hooking like you are, nothing will ever change. Good luck.
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well, if he liked you then yes he would stay in contact yeah, but maybe he sorta feels the same way as you, as in do you see your self in a relationship where you could barly see each other and you live so far apart that he could find someone else and if he has had sex with other girls then who knows he may like them,
maybe he wants you there to talk to if he has any problems?
but even if you do like him a little more than a mate you have to keep your options open for other people as well because thats what he is doing, he is a long way away, and it would be better to be with someone thats closer as long distant relationships are hard work.
hope this helps :)
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