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look what i have done
13/f ok, so i went out witha boy let's just call him 1 and we went out for like three weeks. this boy was my best friends brother but it really wasn't a real real realationship because i had never seen him in person. Anyways we broke up because my bestfriends brother wanted to go out with me so he broke us up. Anyways so for a while i was single. Then this other boy lets call him 2 asked me out and he just seemed sweet and i felt like if i said no i would brake his heart. So i said yeah. But then he told everybody so people were expecting us to hug each other and kiss each other and all that. I really also felt like since i was in 7th and he was in 5th that i was too much for him. Anyways a week after me and 2 started going out he told me that he loved me. That sort of turned me off because we had onlybeen going out for a week. Then he asked me if i loved him and once again i didn't want to break his heart so i said you could say that iam falling in love with you. Then we started kissing each other but i think thst was only because everyone else wanted us too. Then one day i heard by bestfriend talking about how 1 and 2 were friends. Which made everyone call me all these name like i am grimy and a hoe and a slut which really hurt. Any how news got back to 1 and he was really mad and he told his sister who is my age and know she wants to fight me, and so does his ex- girlfriend and his new girlfriend and three other girls. So that isa total of five. But i broke up with2 because we were on two different pages and he was way too clingy. So now i have know friends. But now my ex-best friend's brother is trying to talk to me again. And i am trying to reject him because one, he has a girlfriend, two i went out with one of his friends, and three i went out with his cousin, and four his sister really doesn't like me anymore for some of the decisions i made... so what should i do
sorry for the length thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Being 13 means you're probably pretty new to this dating thing. Being 13 also means that a lot of your peers don't have anything else to do other than stick their noses into your business.
If you want to date a boy then approach him and let him know you're interested. There's no need to worry about what the kids at school are going to say or think. If you aren't acting like a whore (like being sexual) then they're just trying to make drama where drama doesn't exist.
If a boy that likes you asks you out and you really have no interest in him then spare him the heartbreak by telling him upfront. I know it might feel a little cruel at first but it's better than leading him on and making him think that you might be interested in him as well. It's tough, I know, but you have to stand up for yourself. Just say, "I really think you're a great person but I don't have feelings for you like that at all. We can be friends but I don't see us ever being anything else." If he continues to push the subject then don't ignore it. Confront him and tell him that you don't want to be pushed into something you simply do not want. Make yourself clear and thing will go smoother.
Ignore what the people at school want to whine about. The issue is between you and (your boyfriend / soon-to-be boyfriend / prospective boyfriend / etc.). You can explain to him, whoever he may be at the time, what happened if he is curious. There's no need to hide things, especially if you're trying to build a real relationship. Simply explain about this situation, "I didn't want to hurt his feelings at the time. I've learned my lesson though and I know not to repeat something like that. I just ended up digging a mess hole for myself. I should have just been upfront and told him I really wasn't interested."
Be yourself. 13 year olds will focus on some of the silliest things so don't let your friends at school beat on you too bad with this gossip. Don't let it get to you. If you aren't being slutty then you aren't a slut and you don't need to worry about how they perceive your actions.
Even if you stood in front of the whole class and said, "I didn't want to hurt him!" they still would gossip. It's what they do. They will do that for a long time. Even adults gossip--look at the tons of celebrity magazines. They're gossiped about all of the time.
Know that these rumors aren't going to ruin your life. Really. They aren't. They aren't even going to damage your image if they aren't true. Simply go with the flow, hold your head up high, and move on with life. If you meet a boy you like and you're iffy it will affect the relationship between yourself and him then tell him exactly what happened. Even if he doesn't know but you want to explain yourself just say, "You know, last year (or whenever) I had this crazy thing happen to me and I just want to tell you about it so nobody else comes to you first and makes up more lies. There was this boy that REALLY liked me. He was into me but I wasn't feeling him at all. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I did go out with him. People started saying I was dirty and stuff though..." and explain. If he cares then he'll be able to get over this. It isn't like you had sex with somebody, you know?
Ignore the name calling.
Only explain yourself to the people who need the explanations.
Understand that this is NOT going to ruin your life.
Expect to gain and lose friendships every year. You might begin a year with 3 really close, awesome friends but end with only 1 friendship with someone you met along the way. It's a part of growing up. Relax and go with the flow.
Feel free to talk to whoever it is you want to talk to but be upfront. If he has a girlfriend then make it CLEAR that you are not interested in a relationship with him while he's taken. It's better to be honest and upfront so they know who you really are from the very beginning.
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