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SO i like this guy, and he asked me to my high school's Winter Semi-Formal. Everyone has been telling me he'd been planning it for a while.
Everyone is also telling me that he likes me, and I can't help but wonder that also. We flirt all the time. And, he ASKED ME TO THE SEMI-FORMAL!
I really want to go out with him, so should I ask him out? The formal is Feb. 10, so should I ask him before then, or just wait and see what happens after? (link)
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First things first. He's asked you to this dance, apparently put a lot of thought into it, and he seems to want to make quite an evening of it. He wants to treat you to a great time - the best thanks you can give him, and the best compliment, will be to go along for the ride and not suggest anything further until the date is at least halfway done.
Why? Because he wants to show you what a great guy he is, how terrific he thinks you are, and how much fun you can have together. Believe it or not, for you to ask for commitment at this point will be disappointing - even if he wants to! Give him a chance to be charming and impress you; you'll both have fun with it. To ask him out now would be like going into a theater to see a really good movie, and then they put the last reel on first by mistake so you see the end before the beginning.
You need to let the first act play out, so to speak. Of COURSE he likes you - guys don't ask girls they don't like to go to a dance with them. You have little to worry about on that score.
During the date, if things are going really well, feel free to tell him you'd like to see him more often, and if you want to you can tell him you'd like to go out with him (you CAN do that, despite what the previous responder said - we don't live in the 1950s anymore, and nowadays it's perfectly permissible for the girl to ask the guy out). It might be kind of fun for you to drop hints until he picks one up and asks you out, but you certainly don't have to play it like that.
Here's a way to look at it: remember "Jerry Maguire"? Right at the very end, Tom Cruise comes into the room and launches into a speech about how much he loves Renee Zellweger, and how important she is to him, and how desperately he needs her. Her response, after listening to five minutes of this, is "You had me at Hello." Even if that's the case - even if this guy doesn't need to prove himself to you at all - let him do it anyway.
We guys just need to do that. It's a thing, you know?
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this question is for all you guys out there....
what do you see in girls that you like? what appeals to you? im asking you this because i realy like this guy at my school who is totally amazing. what kind of a girl do you like? (link)
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At last count, there are around three billion guys in the world. They all like something slightly different.
Suppose someone asked you the question, "I'm taking my girlfriend out on a date, and I was just wondering, what do girls like to eat?" Could you give a meaningful answer? Sure, you could tell him what YOU think is tasty, but that's not going to help him unless you happen to have the same tastes as his girlfriend.
The only pieces of useful advice I can give you are the following:
(1) You like him. That's a step in the right direction, because we all tend to like people who like us.
(2) Find some way to talk to him, associate with him, or otherwise make yourself available. If you admire him from afar and never say a word, then nothing will ever come of it. You have to make some kind of move and not just wait for him to notice you.
Good luck.
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14/m
Ok so me and my gf were having sex and i thought that i could hold off from cumming but it was so good that we couldnt stop and i gizzed in her, and i wasnt wearing a condom. Could she be pregnant? (link)
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Yes. That is precisely how people GET pregnant. You couldn't have done a better job if you were trying.
Besides that, even if you HAD pulled out "in time", she could STILL get pregnant. That method just doesn't work. It's not like the sperm behave themselves and stay inside until the last moment; they're already seeping out long before then.
She needs to be tested, and you need to get some rubbers. Actually, fourteen is too young in the first place, for reasons like (1) you obviously don't know anything about proper birth control techniques, and (2) you are hell and gone from prepared for dealing with the consequences of #1.
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13/f.
Ok; My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now, and he used to be really nice and sweet. But, now all he talks about is sex. He usually says, "Just kidding, I love you." After all his perverted comments, but I can't tell when he is kidding or not. I really like him, possibly even love. I am just wondering, how can I tell when he is kidding or not?
Also, I have had thoughts about having sex with him alot lately. I feel so bad, but whenever I see or talk to him, I get these visions in my head of us making love. Is this bad? I've always said to myself, I am going to stay a virgin until I get married but he makes me feel as if I want to give that up.
P.s. I'd like a guys view, but girls are more than welcome to answer as well. (link)
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Here's what he's doing: he's dropping hints, lines, and comments and watching for your response. As soon as he sees something that indicates you're not opposed to the idea, that's when he won't say he's "just kidding." In reality, he's probably not kidding about any of what he's saying; if you said Yes to any of his remarks, he'd be all for it.
This is pretty childish behavior on his part and indicates that despite what he may think, he is NOT ready for sex. Furthermore, YOU are not ready for it - and I think you realize that, indicating that you are a good deal more mature than he is.
As far as what you're seeing in your head, it is perfectly natural and even encouraging. You're SUPPOSED to want to have sex; it's how we're wired. If we didn't have that instinct, we would probably have died out after the first generation. So don't worry about your thoughts, feelings, urges, temptations... they're signs that you're healthy and normal. Please, try not to feel bad about it.
There are three good reasons not to give in to that temptation right now, though:
(1) You're only 13. That's too young, in a legal, emotional, and societal sense. It's also far too young to deal with the consequences if your birth control should fail.
(2) Your boyfriend is even younger than you are, emotionally. He would NOT be an appropriate choice right now for a sex partner. Actually, you might reconsider whether he's a good choice for a boyfriend.
(3) You did make a promise to yourself, and it's worth at least TRYING to keep it.
I strongly suggest that you talk to your boyfriend and tell him that his sexual comments aren't funny, aren't welcome, and that if that's what he wants he needs to look for it elsewhere. He'll probably protest and say that it's harmless fun, that he's just kidding around, that you shouldn't take it so seriously. Just tell him that in that case, it shouldn't be a problem for him to stop doing it. Bottom line is, he needs to grow up.
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whats a free photo editor that i can download online that can make pictures cartoons and stuff (no 30 day trial stuff) (link)
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The best one I've seen is called the GIMP. It's 100% free and has rave reviews.
I answered a question similar to this not long ago, so if you don't mind scrolling a page or two back in my column, all the information is there.
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My best friend is my prom "date" since my boyfriend doesn't want to go. She was going to wear a tux to match my dress (dark red) but another girl im friends with is going with her girlfriend and is wearing a tux! I wanted our outfits to be unique. Does anyone have any ideas besides her going in a tux that we could do to be different from everyone else? Since we arent going to be the only "girl couple" and the only girl in a tux..
I know its kind of immature, but i want to be unique! (link)
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There are hundreds of different feminine tuxedos - I'm sure it will be easy for you to find one that will be different from the one that the other "couple" selects.
However, when it comes right down to it, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and acknowledge that you won't be unique in that regard. You certainly can't ask them to change their plans. What you might be able to do is talk to them and ensure that the tuxedos that your "dates" choose are sufficiently different from each other that it won't invite direct comparison. Maybe your "date" could wear a top hat or something?
Of course, another possible solution is that she could wear a dress instead. This won't solve the matter of you not being "unique", because every other girl (save one) will also be wearing a dress, but it will save you from being compared to them.
By the way, as a former prom photographer, I have this request on behalf of my comrade who will be at your event: please tell him whether you want to be posed as a couple, or as friends. It's a difficult question for a photographer to ask for fear of offending a customer, and you'll get a better picture if you can just volunteer that answer.
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13/f.
Warning: Very long.
In school I play it cool, when I'm by my family I'm neutral, but when I'm by myself or talking with my boyfriend I completely loose it. My entire family has a long line of deep depression for the females on my mom's side. All of my family members take anti-depressents. My mom, my aunt, grandmother, cousins, my great-grandmother used to take them before she died. She was crazier than anyone could ever imagine - she'd spent five years in a mental institution. I my self have been in one for exactly 8 days before they released me because, just like I do in school and in front of my family, I play it like nothing's wrong.
I've begun to continually cut myself. I know I need to quit. Half of me wants to quit, because I know it's what's right, but the other half loves it too much to get rid of it. It's like I've become a dependant on it - or on my boyfriend, also. When I'm constantly talking to him, I'm perfect. Happy as happy can be, but the second he has to go to deal with his own life I fall apart. I need to depend on myself to make me happy, but I can't seem to find the strength too. I don't want to. I want to depend on someone or something. But I can't; I need to find a solution.
I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and have tried just about every anti-depressent out there or all different doses - none have ever worked for me. I currently take 30 miligrams of the generic brand of Prozac, along with Adderall for my ADD and Seraquil for my acclaimed "bipolar" disorder I've also been diagnosed with - even though I don't have mood swings. The only different moods I have are mask neutral and depressed.
I've tried overdosing in an attempt to kill myself three times. I've tried shooting myself twice, and I've tried countless of times to kill myself by means of slicing any main vains - I want help, I need help, but I can't get it from the "professionals" because all they'll do is stuff me in a white jacket and into a room with squishy walls. I don't want that. I want help. Actual help, but I don't know how to get it. I'm just so overwhelmed. I want to be able to get on with my life. I want to be able to be a kid while I still have the chance, to be able to laugh with my friends and have it not be fake. I want to be able to act stupid and mess up while it still doesn't matter.
I'm not sure exactly what my question is, except for a cry for help. (link)
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The advice you need is undoubtedly far beyond the capabilities of the people who respond here - myself included. I know next to nothing about psychology or depression, but even I know that your attempt to reach out is a good sign, indicating that you haven't given up hope. Try to hold onto that, and remember that it is NOT hopeless as long as you are willing to do something, anything, to bring yourself out of this.
I wish I could give you something solid to hold onto, but all I have to offer are ideas and thoughts. Maybe that will be enough.
First of all, don't fear or hate your doctors. The vast majority of them entered their field because of a genuine desire to help people, and they will have your best interests in mind. It will help if you seek them out voluntarily, and not wait for some episode where they have to drag you away and lock you up. When you make the first move, it helps you maintain some degree of control over the situation.
You need to come clean with them. Right now, it is difficult for anyone to help you because you're "playing it like there's nothing wrong." Naturally, they're going to misdiagnose your condition, and you won't get the counseling or medication you need. It is vitally important that you be truthful with your doctors and tell them everything. To do this will require a leap of faith on your part and a show of trust that it will be difficult to offer, but you are in a desperate situation and it calls for desperate measures.
There are three problems that you need to solve right away:
(1) The temptation toward suicide. Obviously, this is the thing that could end up doing you the most harm. When you see your doctor, come clean with him about how and why you want to end your life.
(2) The cutting. Not only is this harmful in an obvious way, but there is the risk that you could cut too deeply, or get an infection, or otherwise put your life at risk. It is an addiction and there are time-proven ways of treating it. Help is available.
(3) Dependence on your boyfriend. It is not fair for him to have to bear this terrible burden alone. He will not be able to give you the help you really need, and one day he is likely to cave in under the pressure and just run away. For his sake as well as yours, expand your support base and find some way to depend on others as well as him.
Remember that Clinical Depression is NOT caused by anything you do or fail to do - it is a chemical imbalance in your brain that is making you feel this way. Odds are that there is a combination of drugs and other therapies that will work for you and get you out of this hole.
You deserve a chance to live before you die. Please seek out the help you need. Do it before you forget what it is to have hope.
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what age should you have sex at. :) (link)
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Legally, the age of consent varies from state to state in the U.S. If you live elsewhere, I have no idea what the laws are. Generally speaking, though, 18 years old is considered an adult pretty much anywhere, and it's probably good to wait until then anyway.
Of course, age is one of many, many factors to consider before one has sex. The following is also important:
(1) Think about who you're doing it with. Would you trust that person with your life? Because in this day in age, that's exactly what you're doing.
(2) Are you able to speak comfortably about sexual issues with your partner, including birth control, risk of disease, your personal intimate histories, and so on? If not, you're not ready.
(3) Are you prepared to bear the consequences if your chosen method of birth control should fail? NOTHING is 100% fail-safe!
(4) Are you doing it for the right reasons? Those are things you will need to define for yourself. "Just for fun" can be a good reason, but it can also have unanticipated emotional fallout.
If you don't have satisfactory answers to the above questions, then it's a risk. How much of a risk depends on how uncertain you are about those answers.
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Me and my bf dated for 21 months and then we broke up because we needed to work things out (hes in his first yr of college 45 min. away) and im a jr. we fought alot so we thats what were working on. Anyways i have a formal dance coming up on friday and he told me he'd come but now he's not. I know this for a fact cuz someone told me and he hasnt called me yet to tell me that he isnt coming. How do i react? Im very hurt by this and its in 4 days and he hasnt called yet to tell me this....
i really want him to go
and please dont say well maybe he is going and that person is wrong. cuz i know that person is telling the truth
what do i say? how do i react? (link)
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You really need to ask him directly, and not just go by what this other person says. I'm sure she's trustworthy and is telling you the truth as she knows it, but she may not have the correct information. Even if she does, it's best to get it straight from the source, and if he told you he's coming then he owes you an explanation if he suddenly isn't.
The simple answer is to call him and tell him that you're looking forward to the dance, and ask him if he's all set for it. If he then says he can't go, don't blow up right away - he may have a very good reason (though he would still owe you an apology for not calling you as soon as he knew he wouldn't make it).
If he stands you up, or if he has no good reason for not going, then consider the relationship over - and feel free to hate him for ending it in such a hurtful and disrespectful way.
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I wanted to apply to this school and i went to myb school and asked them to send my transcript and i sent my application but i have this thing about people doing htings for me because in the past i have had officials mail things for me before and they sometimes came up saying that the facility never got them. But anyway i wanted to make sure everything went where it was supposed to go so i waited until the next week and i begin calling the school to see if they got it maybe i called like 15 times since today and i always got the answerinf machine and i left messages and they didn't call me back but i finally got through today and i was told my transcript was never recieved do yo t hink i was wrong for calling so many times and would you have been annoyed if i had left that many messages on your phone? (link)
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I think that leaving 15 messages in a single day was rather over-the-top. It would have been appropriate to leave no more than two messages. You could certainly have called as often as you like, but then just hang up when the machine picks up the phone.
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Edit: in light of the fact that the calls took place over the course of two weeks, not just a single day, I would say that one message per day would be most appropriate, but by the same token a total of fifteen (about 1.5 per day) is not excessive.
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I skipped school with this boy i really liked but my mom was always on my cas eand if she had just given me a little breathing room i wouldn't have done it but i did. And, i feel punishment was justifiable but do you thin that it is fair that he can't take me to my senior prom and he is the only reason that i want to go? I asked her if i could go by myself and she said no. Than at the last minute she got mad at me because i din't go to my prom and said that i should drive myself but why does she have to lie so much even though if i would have known that i could drive myself i would have came up with a plan so we could go together. (link)
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It's a little hard to decipher your text (punctuation would help), but if I understand correctly, this is what happened:
(1) As punishment for skipping school, your mom said that you couldn't go to your Prom - even by yourself.
(2) She then got upset with you for NOT going by yourself.
That's certainly contradictory behavior, but it's a strange thing to lie about. I think it's more likely that she forgot she had told you you couldn't go at all - it was probably something she said in the heat of the moment and then it later slipped her mind. Still, it's hardly a point in her favor that she forgot about something so important.
On the other hand, let's look at you for a moment:
(1) You suggested you could go by yourself, because your mom didn't want you seeing this boy.
(2) You fully intended to hook up with him anyway.
If we're going to call your mom a liar, let's be fair and point out that you're guilty of the same thing. Your mom is the adult in this situation and so she is to be held to a higher standard, but be that as it may, you can't expect honesty from people if you don't deal with them honestly yourself!
As for how fair the punishment was, I'd say it falls under the heading of "natural consequences." Prom is a celebration of growing up, and your behavior (skipping school to hang out with a boy that you know your mom has problems with, lying about whether you intend to hook up with him) doesn't display a lot of maturity. On the other hand, it DOES seem severe to me; Senior Prom comes only once, and it was pretty heartless of her to cause you to miss out on it. Therefore, I'd say your mother was right to punish you, but she did it too harshly. You both clearly have some things to sort out, and I suggest you do it soon, because presumably your senior year of high school is now over and you'll be moving out on your own soon, so these issues need to be resolved now while there's still a chance.
I must admit I'm curious about one thing. According to my calendar, it's late January. Unless you're on a very different school schedule than I'm used to, the Prom is generally scheduled for the end of May. Is this something that happened eight months ago that you're just now dealing with, or what? If so, I'd say you've already let it fester far too long, and it's DEFINITELY time to talk about it.
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What is the difference between Democratic and Republican? Also what is the difference between Liberal and whatever else? Thank you. (link)
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Under the Democratic system, people exploit people.
Under the Republicans, the opposite is true.
Actually, if one wanted to boil it down to a single ideological difference, the most basic thing I've seen is this:
Democrats believe that the purpose of government is twofold: to safeguard our liberties, and to improve people's lives by offering services and assistance to those who need it. Their vision of an ideal society is one where everyone is guaranteed a certain minimum standard of living, financed by the society as a whole, and people are given equal opportunity to rise above that level if they so choose.
Republicans believe that the purpose of government is to safeguard our liberties - and that's all. Everything else must be earned, and if one cannot earn the basic necessities of life, it is not the job of the government to provide it; it is up to private organizations like churches and such. Their vision of an ideal society is one where everyone enjoys the fruits of their labor, where those not born into privilege must rely on their own work to gain that status, and where people are encouraged - but not required - to share their wealth with those less fortunate.
Bear in mind that I'm not a political scientist or philosopher; this is just my impression. More importantly, for many politicians their party affiliation seems to be more of a useful label than a personal belief. When casting a vote, it is best to take the time to learn the actual positions of each candidate, and vote accordingly. In other words, vote for the person, not the label.
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okay! do guys like it when girls take control during sex? or would you rather been in control?
does it turn you on when girl takes control of what goes on between the sheets or what? (link)
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I think it's great when she takes charge. It shows that she's into it and enjoying it, which is the biggest turn-on of all.
Actually, I would be seriously concerned about a guy who was unwilling to let a woman take charge in bed. It indicates that he's a controlling person in other ways, on an unhealthy level. So not only is it something your guy should enjoy, it's also a good test to see what kind of man he ultimately is.
One thing - No still means No, even if it's a guy saying it and even if it looks like his body is saying Yes. Respect his boundaries as you would want him to respect yours.
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i've been going to my new school for about a week now. and i'm quite literally, the only girl in my class.
i want a perspecitve, on a boy thing. i'm thirteen, and i'm a girl, but i'd bet that's no surprise.
basically, on my first day of school, this boy was very helpful to me and since, then he's been talking to me and playing around with me in gym. more specifically:
apparently this boy used to fall asleep for a while every morning, and since i've been there, he hasn't.
he's asked me constantly how i think my new school is, and told me pretty in depth what he wants to be when he grows up. like a heart to heart thing.
Multiple classmates (and even a teacher) give him crap about how he's pretended he's had balls, in their words, since i've come to school.
By the way he reacts to everything the class says, he either hates that everyone think he likes me, or he really really does like me. I think he's really sweet, i just can't tell what he wants, or why he seems to like me so much. Or if he even likes me at all. (link)
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It seems to me that he's fascinated with you. His personality has totally changed since you showed up, he's spending time with you whenever he can, and he's getting emotional when people talk about it. Clearly, he's smitten. And his classmates are going to give him grief about it because that's what 13-year-olds do - there may be a little jealousy going on there as well, since he's made a connection with you and everyone else hasn't. As for the teacher, I don't know exactly what he said, but it seems to me that the guy was out of line if he was joining in on the teasing; that's not how teachers should behave, in my opinion.
However, since you ARE the only girl in the class, there is the possibility that it's not YOU he's intrigued by, but just the fact that you are the only available female. If this is true, then there's no reason not to like the guy - he is, after all, being very nice to you and that's worth something. It IS a reason to hesitate before forming a relationship beyond friends (the fact that you're both thirteen is another reason to wait!).
At the moment, he's offering friendship and kindness. Accept it gracefully, and if you appreciate it tell him so. As Humphrey Bogart so eloquently put it, "This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
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Is it ok if I painted my room right now in January? Some people say because of the smell to wait until summer. Which is best? And Can I paint it in the winter? (link)
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The main reason why people say to wait until summer is so you can open your windows for ventilation. If you live in an area where that's not a problem during the winter, then paint away!
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theres this 1 boy who always stares at me & sometimes looks away he stares me in the eyes
and also only talks to me online .. today i first talked to him and i asked him if it was really him online last night he said yeah and like smiled /got all happy type..lol and then i looked back and he put his hand up like come here or something and i kept on walking idk who he ment it to i thought it was one of his friends or something but there was no1 infront of me.. then he was in the same class as me & i came from a different class and i was outside near the lockers he came out and looked and then went back in the room he also has a gf .. but she lives like an hour away from here. the other day (friday) he did that nod thing i asked him online what it meant he said it meant hey .. hes been with his gf since june 05 .. also at lunch time he stands up and looks over at my table he said when he nodded to me i turned my head i didnt realize that he nodded to me.he also seems to follow me around school . alot of kids are acting differnt to me so i dont know why.he talks to his bestfriend in the same class as me and talks about other girls to like get me jealous what could he be trying to do ? and he talks about cars and goes online w/ them and looks at cars and girls . my 2 bestfriends think that he likes me .and in gym class he got out .... he was folding his arms like he was mad & staring at me .. then my friend was trying to take pictures of me & i blocked her cellphone with my hand and yelled no he looked at me .. do you think he like sme?
(link)
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I think he's sending signals, but he's afraid to fully act on them. The reason why is obvious: the girlfriend he's had for a year and a half. When people are dating for that long, they reach a certain comfort level - but they can also begin to get bored with each other. I suspect that he feels the need to try meeting new people, and he's feeling a certain attraction to you, but at the same time he doesn't want to let go of what he has.
You can do two things at this point: wait him out, or make a move.
If you wait, you may be waiting for a long time. If I'm right, then he's reluctant to end his current relationship without at least the possibility of having someone new to go with, and so he's not likely to make any moves of his own until he gets that you're interested.
So, how do you show you're interested? By flirting a little more obviously. For instance, if you catch him staring at you, call him on it:
"Were you staring at me just now? Because, if you were, I wouldn't have a problem with it." (smile over your shoulder as you turn away.)
Of course, it's also possible that there's nothing to any of it, in which case you'll make a move and be "shot down", as it were. But hey... that's part of the game!
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Hey whats up, I really want to delete my account from this website as soon as possible, its urgent and important, so please how can i do that?? I tried checking he FAQ, but it says that for further notice, you have to email someone and stuff like that, but isn't there like a more easier and quick way.
Thanks in advance, hope to recieve your prompt reply.
(link)
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I'm only a level 1 moderator - I have nothing to do with the actual running of the site.
However, I did a little looking through the FAQ myself, and came across this link:
http://www.advicenators.com/deletec.php
It would seem to have an e-mail address you can use to request account deletion.
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Okay, so my AVG Free already expired. I tried updating it but then this dialogue box appeared saying that the download cannot continue because some files were corrupt and everything.... Now I have a prob cuz my computer is infected with virus and I can't take it off!
I really, really need some advice on what antivirus to get as soon as possible. And please, I need a FREE one.... (link)
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The previous responded has some good suggestions about good, free antivirus solutions. Unfortunately, they might not work, because some viruses are smart enough to prevent the download of the very tools that can get rid of them. In that case, you would have three options:
(1) If you can identify what exact virus it is, there are often free tools you can download to get rid of specific viruses. However, this may not work, because one virus often opens a gateway for many more, so you may already have multiple infections.
(2) Bite the bullet and pay for an AV solution. There are some that have trial offers; perhaps you can get one of those, and end up paying only a small fee.
(3) The ultimate step to destroying a virus: wipe and reload. Of course, this only works if you can get your files backed up and if you have your installation discs and codes to rebuild your system. The good news is that usually (not always), a virus infects system files and registry, not things like documents, pictures, or mp3s. Therefore, you should be able to take a backup of your files as they are, and then reload them on a new install without re-infecting the system.
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Okay so last monday me and some friends were hanging out. And the boy I so happen to have a crush on was there but he has a girlfriend. Okay well we were flirting A LOT. And by the end of the day we ended up kissing. >_< I feel so horrible about this! So basically I made him cheat on his girlfriend. And everyday I feel worse and worse about it. What do I do? Im so confused right now. =( (link)
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Everyone so far has said something along the lines of, "you didn't make him do anything, it was his choice." And they're right. You may have provided some temptation, but he's the one who succumbed to it.
And you know what? It's not THAT big a deal.
Sure, it was wrong of him. Sure, he has a girlfriend, he kissed someone else, and you're really not supposed to do that. But we're all human - most of us, I think, have stolen a kiss here and there from someone we shouldn't have.
It's not like he's married to her. It's not like you had sex with him. It was a kiss, no more. Try not to feel too awful about it, because all you did was let your emotions take over for a moment, and if we never did that we'd be less than human.
However, there is one thing you don't mention, which is how HE feels about it. Have you talked to him since then? Do you know whether he views this as an isolated thing, a momentary lapse, a mistake made in the heat of the moment... or was it something more? In other words, do you think he's hoping that it will be the first of many kisses with you? You probably need to find that out.
If he DOES break up with his existing girlfriend... don't blame yourself. They would have to be pretty rocky to begin with for a single clandestine kiss to end it.
Also, if the two of you end up getting together, it will prove awfully rough to start a relationship with a foundation of guilt. If this happens, then try to see it this way: he was dating someone, he met you, and discovered that you inspired deeper feelings than she did. So, he chose to end his relationship with her in favor of one with you. Surely it wouldn't be right for him to stay with her, knowing that she wasn't the first in his heart anymore? That's not fair to anyone.
One more thing: don't tell her about it. It is his place to tell her. The only reasons for you to tell her is (1) if she's a friend of yours, in which case you DO have something major to apologize for, or (2) if he were to try and go out with you behind her back. Then it becomes more than a single lapse in judgment - then it IS full-blown cheating, no excuses. Don't be a part of that, because then you'll deserve the guilt.
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In response to the message left in feedback...
If he wants more from you - more kisses, a date, making out, anything like that - the price he must pay is to break up with his existing girlfriend. You don't want to be the "other woman." ONE kiss is not a big deal, but for him to continue to see you on the side would be cheating, and for you to willingly participate in that would be like giving him permission to treat you the same way.
As difficult as it may be, if he tries to kiss you again, you need to stop him and tell him that as long as he has a girlfriend, you can't do that sort of thing with him.
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female/16
When I was a freshman i liked a guy named B, we flirted all the time and i thought he didn't like me back. Of course after months of talking with him I found out that he had a girlfirend the whole time that he never told me about.
Fast forward to two years later, present day, I'm completely over him. Then out of the blue he sends me a message on myspace telling me he used to like me back then, i told him i used to like him too. We both had a laugh at how shy we were back then to have niether of us make a move. Now we're talking alot again, and flirting a lot too. Basically its deja vu i like him again & he has a girlfriend again (they've been going out for awhile).
What should i do?
tell him? (link)
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Just because a guy has a girlfriend, that doesn't make him automatically unavailable. "Stealing" someone away from their current significant other is a time-honored tradition in the game of Love.
However, consider this: apparently, B has no problem flirting with girls behind his girlfriend's back. If you were to become his girlfriend, isn't it likely that he'd do the same to you?
I think you need to clarify what light he sees you in, and for that matter what you want from him (are you indeed "completely over him"?). If you want to be his girlfriend, by all means tell him - but one of the conditions you must set is that he break it off with her BEFORE the two of you start dating. Otherwise, you're essentially giving him permission to date other girls behind your back once the two of you become a couple.
Maybe B is just a flirtatious, playful kind of guy, and it never occurred to him to tell you he had a girlfriend when you first knew him. Maybe he is now seeing how interested you are in him before he breaks off his current relationship; after all, if you don't want to date him at all, he has no reason to break it off with someone else.
Or, maybe he likes keeping secrets. Consider carefully whether you might someday be the one he's keeping secrets from.
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