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I made him cheat?
Okay so last monday me and some friends were hanging out. And the boy I so happen to have a crush on was there but he has a girlfriend. Okay well we were flirting A LOT. And by the end of the day we ended up kissing. >_< I feel so horrible about this! So basically I made him cheat on his girlfriend. And everyday I feel worse and worse about it. What do I do? Im so confused right now. =(
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Well If You Were Both Kissing It Technichly Wasnt All You. He Made The Descion To Kiss With You. Dont Feel To Bad, I Mean Its Not Like You Were Like "Kiss Meeh Instead Of Your Girlfriend" Kissing Goes Both Ways So Its His Fault As Well.
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Well, yes, I do agree that you did give him some temptation and you did go along with it. However, that does not make it your sole responsibily in this case. Because he is that girl's boyfriend, and he should know better. If he was a good boyfriend, or even a good guy, he would have never done that. So don't take the blame for everything, it's not all your fault. It is his fault, too.
The only thing I can tell you to do, if it will give you some peace from your conscience, and it probably will. Tell his girlfriend what happened, I know that it much easier said than done. But at least at the end of the day, you can say that you did tell her and you're not letting her live a lie. That her boyfriend wouldn't cheat on her, or something like that. You may even be doing her a favor, whether or not she's a good person, I don't know. But I still think she has a right to know, as his girlfriend.
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Everyone so far has said something along the lines of, "you didn't make him do anything, it was his choice." And they're right. You may have provided some temptation, but he's the one who succumbed to it.
And you know what? It's not THAT big a deal.
Sure, it was wrong of him. Sure, he has a girlfriend, he kissed someone else, and you're really not supposed to do that. But we're all human - most of us, I think, have stolen a kiss here and there from someone we shouldn't have.
It's not like he's married to her. It's not like you had sex with him. It was a kiss, no more. Try not to feel too awful about it, because all you did was let your emotions take over for a moment, and if we never did that we'd be less than human.
However, there is one thing you don't mention, which is how HE feels about it. Have you talked to him since then? Do you know whether he views this as an isolated thing, a momentary lapse, a mistake made in the heat of the moment... or was it something more? In other words, do you think he's hoping that it will be the first of many kisses with you? You probably need to find that out.
If he DOES break up with his existing girlfriend... don't blame yourself. They would have to be pretty rocky to begin with for a single clandestine kiss to end it.
Also, if the two of you end up getting together, it will prove awfully rough to start a relationship with a foundation of guilt. If this happens, then try to see it this way: he was dating someone, he met you, and discovered that you inspired deeper feelings than she did. So, he chose to end his relationship with her in favor of one with you. Surely it wouldn't be right for him to stay with her, knowing that she wasn't the first in his heart anymore? That's not fair to anyone.
One more thing: don't tell her about it. It is his place to tell her. The only reasons for you to tell her is (1) if she's a friend of yours, in which case you DO have something major to apologize for, or (2) if he were to try and go out with you behind her back. Then it becomes more than a single lapse in judgment - then it IS full-blown cheating, no excuses. Don't be a part of that, because then you'll deserve the guilt.
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In response to the message left in feedback...
If he wants more from you - more kisses, a date, making out, anything like that - the price he must pay is to break up with his existing girlfriend. You don't want to be the "other woman." ONE kiss is not a big deal, but for him to continue to see you on the side would be cheating, and for you to willingly participate in that would be like giving him permission to treat you the same way.
As difficult as it may be, if he tries to kiss you again, you need to stop him and tell him that as long as he has a girlfriend, you can't do that sort of thing with him.
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well you didnt really make him cheat in my opion because it doesnt sound like he pertically pushed you away he could of said no you may acted and flirted but you didnt force him so dont blame yourself and of course your going to feel bad but at least your learning from your mistakes you know and your'll no better next time but in my opion if wasnt completely your fault you were both wrong it takes 2 to tangle hope i helped goodluck
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You can't make somebody cheat,you have no reason to feel sorry about this.It was his dession to cheat even if you knew he had a girlfriend
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i dont think that you should be putting it all on you, its not like you FORCED him to kiss you, you both had part in it, he made the choice also. dont beat yourself up about it, talk to him, im sure the two of you can figure something out. hope this helps<3
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You shouldn't feel so bad. He made the choice to do it. He knew he had a girlfriend, and he did it anyways. It's half his fault. The most you can do is say sorry, but until then, don't worry so much. You're not the only one to blame here.
♥T!NA
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If you know the girl & how she would react if you told her then either tell her or don't say anything. You shouldn't feel bad because you're not the one dating someone. He is, & he could've stopped himself from kissing you. It takes two people to kiss. So it wasn't all you. Try not to worry about it & if it keeps bothering you just ask him if it meant anything to him & if he feels bad also.
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It's not like you forced him to kiss you. He made that choice. Yes, you're responsible, but think about it. If you hadn't been there, and some other girl was flirting with him, he probably would have done the same to her. Tell the girlfriend and apologize to her. If they break up, that's fine, because she can do better--you can too! Sorry to say, but if he cheats on his girlfriend now, he'll do the same to his girlfriends in the future.
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You can't really do anything besides say sorry, which if his girlfriend finds out will be super pissed/upset I bet. Buts its not just your fault, its half his too. Sure you kissed him, but he kissed back right? He cheated on his girlfriend which is his problem, but you kissed him too.
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