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Me and my bf dated for 21 months and then we broke up because we needed to work things out (hes in his first yr of college 45 min. away) and im a jr. we fought alot so we thats what were working on. Anyways i have a formal dance coming up on friday and he told me he'd come but now he's not. I know this for a fact cuz someone told me and he hasnt called me yet to tell me that he isnt coming. How do i react? Im very hurt by this and its in 4 days and he hasnt called yet to tell me this....
i really want him to go
and please dont say well maybe he is going and that person is wrong. cuz i know that person is telling the truth
what do i say? how do i react?
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what you need to do is talk to him! tell him how you feel, he should have told you that hes not comeing instead of holding it out. you should talk to him about how he could tell him that he should be able to tell you anything even if its dissapointg, cause waiting untill you have found out is wrong. if he cant make it, mabie when he can come down you guys can mabie go out to a nice dinner where they have couple danceing and you can dance with him. but that is, if you work thigs out with eachtohter.
now mabie he cant make it cause of something really important came up, but also, theyre would have been no exuce for him to not have told you. you need to have a serious talk about things with him tell him youre being serious and no excuses, that if you and him want to make the relationship work, then you need honesty, and courparation.
i wish so much luck and sorry about the dissapointing news!! and sorry for spelling errors
--ashley
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I know it's upsetting because you heard it from someone else & not him, so I'd be upset. Don't sit around waiting for him to call you, because if he hasn't done it now, chances are; he's not going to at all. Call him and talk to him about it calmly. If you have all your things for the formal [dress/shoes], ask someone else you had in mind. You always need backup.
♥T!NA
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Well before you jump to any conclusions, you need to call him up and ask him.
Before he says anything, tell him how much the dance means to you and that someone hinted he might not be coming so you called to confirm that he is.
The fact that it's only four days to the dance means that he is being ver inconsiderate. He better have a really good excuse for not going, if he isn't.
If he says he's not going to go for his own selfish reasons, try to convince him to still go. Tell him how much fun it's going to be and how it'll feel like high school again.
If you still can't get him to come, you'll hav to give up. You can only do so much and from there on, it's up to him and you'll find out whether your opinion really matters to him.
Good luck.
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Calm down and brethe is my first suggestion!!
Ok, well maybe something came up on his side.. I would definantly call him and ask whats up with this?? Tell him how hurt you are, being one of your friends, he should have told you soonen if he didn't want to go with you, or if he couldn't come..
I would be upset, you totally have the right to be.. but i think your best bet is to talk him face to face(if possible)or call him and tell him how freakin upset you are.. make sure that you get the whole story!!
Good luck and hope you have a good time at the dance!!!~~~
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It's pretty harsh considering you previously dated for 21 months and now he can't even be truthful to you.
If I were you and you are 100% sure the person is telling the truth, you need to confront him. He can't let you down the night before etc with a lame excuse. Tell him you heard he doesn't want to go and ask him if it's true. Say it's okay if he doesn't want to go and see what he says. It's perfectly normal for you to be upset and angry he's letting you down like this. and don't be afraid to show your emotions. He's simply being selfish and leaving it too late so you can't ask somebody else.
Ask him. Be straight out with it.
Or again, if you know for a fact he's not going, ask someone else and pretend you aren't bothered even though you really are. He must be playing some mind games here.. but you'll always be one step ahead of him.
Best of luck with the dance. I do hope things can work out.
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You asked this question to me only, and I'm not good at this type of advice. If you want to ask everyone, click "get advice" in the upper left. Also, you clicked "submit" twice, causing your question to be posted twice.
The best thing you can do in this situation is call HIM and ask him about it.
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Well it kinda sucks that he's not going, but if I got that correctly, he wants to break up, or you both want to break up(?) so I guess he doesnt have to go, but he should at least have the courtesy to tell you that he doesnt want to go with you. I think you should probably just go to the dance alone, or oh wait, it's formal, if you need a date, see if one of your male friends can step in. Just incase he does bail. But I guess theres a one in amillion chance he could show up last minute on impaulse. But if you want to forget that chance, call him and tell him you found someone else to go with. You cant really force him to go with you, but he's a jerk for abandoning you.
It's tough when a guy doesnt tell you how he's feeling and leaves you to guess, but theres really nothing else you can do. He hurt you, so I'd say, you should probably get ready to move on, if you need some tips on moving on, let me know.
Just remember you're better than any jerk that doesnt have the common courtesy to pick up a phone and tell you he's bailing. I hope you can find someone else to go with, and I hope you have an awesome time at the dance. Sorry I couldnt give you any more help, but I think you should just try and move on. Hope I helped you a bit anyway. And thanks for asking! Lots of Love,
Angie91
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Okay, but you should still try to talk to him in person about it and give him a chance to take responsibility. Go to the dance anyway and hang with your girls, meet some new guys...get a new guy to go with you. If this is how it is going to be, then you are better off without him.
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If I was you, I`d ask him. Maybe he`s hurt too since he can`t go, so he doesn`t know how to tell you. You just need to ask him and talk to him about it.
- For example, just be like: So, are you still going to the dance friday? And see what he says. If he says yes, just be like well someone told me you weren`t, and talk from there :] I know it hurts knowing that he might not go [or won`t go], but you never know the entire truth unless you talk it out with him. I think that`s the best way.
Hope I helped :]
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I wasn't going to say that your information is faulty. I would recommend that you call him and find out what is going on and why he was trying to sneak out of going to the dance with you. Listen to his reasons and rate them mentally and see if they sound reasonable enough. If not, end it with him because he should be honest and stragihtforward with you. I'm sorry if you really like him, but you need someone that can be loyal and truthful. You deserve that kind of person.
~~Musician
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You really need to ask him directly, and not just go by what this other person says. I'm sure she's trustworthy and is telling you the truth as she knows it, but she may not have the correct information. Even if she does, it's best to get it straight from the source, and if he told you he's coming then he owes you an explanation if he suddenly isn't.
The simple answer is to call him and tell him that you're looking forward to the dance, and ask him if he's all set for it. If he then says he can't go, don't blow up right away - he may have a very good reason (though he would still owe you an apology for not calling you as soon as he knew he wouldn't make it).
If he stands you up, or if he has no good reason for not going, then consider the relationship over - and feel free to hate him for ending it in such a hurtful and disrespectful way.
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