My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
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Last Update: February 17, 2009
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so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months and a day now .. and we are TOTALLY in love.. i mean like talking getting married and shit already.. but he has a VERY bad past and criminal record but i dont care cause he treats me REALLY good.. And my mom use to like him but some shit happened and now she wants to put a restraining order on him and i would PROBABLY die.. like im not even kidding. i want to talk her out of it but i have the worst temper because she says stuff that pisses me off and i just flip out...
so basically my question is, Is there any way to controll my temper on the spot because its CRAZY (link)
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You must be feeling torn in two because on the one hand you care greatly for your guy, and on the other you love your Mum.
She is obviously very concerned about you because putting a restraining order on someone is very serious. She must have her reasons and if, like me, she is very protective of her children, then I understand entirely where she is coming from.
You need to slow your relationship down some and take a few deep breaths before you commit yourself to your guy. Please be wary of the fact that he has had such a VERY bad past and criminal record (your own words). A lot of guys are great when they don't 'possess' you, they work at the relationship and you feel great. However, once they think you are theirs, their attitude will change and start treating you so very differently.
I think you need to learn to count to ten before losing your temper because that is counterproductive to what you want to achieve. To be treated like an adult and have what you say heard, you have to stay calm and rational. Once you have lost your temper rationality will go out the window and the argument is already lost.
I know your question was about controlling your temper, but if my daughter were in what I percieved to be a dangerous position, I would be fighting my corner with all guns blazing.
Your temper just needs to be understood. You need to realise that losing your temper does nobody any good. A fair hearing is one in which two people can communicate fairly and have what they each say understood. Screaming and shouting at one another serves no purpose except to make each other really angry. Ask your Mum to sit down and discuss this situation like adults. Using something like a small teddy or an unbreakable ornament as a focus on which you can have a discussion. For example, you hold the teddy/ornament and whilst you have it you must talk in a normal voice and your Mum must sit and listen. When you have had your say pass the teddy/ornament to your Mum and it is her turn to talk and you to listen. There must be no interruptions and no raised voices. It does work quite effectively but only if you both adhere to the rules.
I hope that this situation is resolved so that everyone is happy, but please hear what your Mum has to say she has age and maturity in her favour. I wish you all the very best.
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14/m
So there's the girl I like. I always liked her and it feels like I always will.
We were never dating but we were close. But now she's moved on to another guy. I can't get her off my mind!! I'm always thinking about her..she just seems so..perfect.
And now and then I look at the old notes she wrote me. The ones saying she likes me and looking at those it..it hurts. I wanna just throw them out but is that really going to help? I want to get over her...right?
Really confused,
Greenlalablue (link)
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Your first love is always the one that will come back to haunt you throughout your life. No matter how old you get or even if you are very happily settled, occasionally something will remind you of her.
There is always the possibility, because you are still quite young, that you may be able to get back together. No one knows what the future brings.
However, what I suggest for now is get a little box and pop in the things that remind you of her like the notes and put it away at the back of a cupboard. You may feel that one day if you look at them they mean nothing to you and you can get rid of them. Keeping them does not mean you will betray another partner, it is what makes you who you are. These experiences will build your character into the young man that a girl will fall head over heels in love with.
If you feel ready now to part with these reminders, read them again, tie them together, tell them how you feel and then either burn them or throw them away. You are not getting rid of the love you felt for her but you are letting go. I know guys tend not to go for mushy things like that and it is entirely your choice - but nobody need ever know.
I wish you all the very best for a wonderfully happy life. You sound like a great guy.
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well heres my problem:
I Dont know when but soon im gonna meet up with my boyfriend that i havent seen for ages, weve been going out for 5 months, and we talked about sex im only young and a vigin but hes older and experianced and i trust him. I told him that i was ready do "do it" when we met up. Now thats true i do wanna but my worse fear is getting pregnant and im scared about it. i dont know what to do or what to tell him or if its worth the risk. It is somthing i trust him with, but bad things always seem to happen to me and i really dont want to get pregnant but i wanna do it. Please Help What Should I Do? And Wha Should i tell my boyfriend (link)
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I think the first thing you should consider is going to the doctor or planned parenthood and asking them to put you on the pill. It sounds like you may be below the legal age of consent but that should not make a difference to the help they give you. Also, tell your boyfriend he should use a condom to protect against STDs, HIV etc.
Now that the practicalities are out of the way, because you are questioning whether or not you should really go ahead with having sex, I honestly think you are still too young to cope with all the physical and emotional changes you will go through. He may be the big love of your life at the moment and he may be "the one", but you have years ahead of you in which to make sure. Ask him if he is prepared to wait a little longer whilst you are still unsure. Do you really want to sleep with every guy you go out with? If he pressurises you to sleep with him, your boyfriend may not love you as much as he says he does.
Your virginity is a precious thing that should not be given away lightly, once it has gone you cannot get it back.
Whatever you decide is right for you I wish you all the very best.
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Hi- I'm a 16 year old male..
I have a crush on this guy in my english class-
We really hit it off the first couple weeks of school.. but I'm not sure if/when to ask him out..
He seems like he likes me just as much as I like him.. but I'm not sure if I should ask him out-
should I?
I have these dreams about him.. where we are sitting on the beach- kissing each other.. and he's got his shirt off.. and so do I... and we are feeling each other's chests.. and having a great time.. HE's SO GORGEOUS!!!
but I'm not sure if I am just having sexual feelings for him or if I really like him..
I mean.. he's always saying, "You're so amazing, Jeff," and stuff..
And if I ask him out.. should I take him to my place to "hang out" and maybe make out in my bed?
Please help!
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I suggest that you begin by talking about the things you have in common and perhaps suggest going for a coffee somewhere or maybe even taking in a film together.
I know that you feel you want to jump right into a full-on relationship with him, but I think that would be too much too soon. You really should get to know him better before going all the way.
As with all new relationships, everything is exciting and heart-pumping and I really hope that your dream guy feels the same way.
Remember though, if you are going to make out with him, please use condoms for protection against STDs. I wish you all the very best.
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ok this may sound weird but my penis is bent like crooked in the middle. not a lot but i notice it. its like off to the left side and its been like this a while and its very obvious when i get hard. is this bad?? will it make it harder or painful to have sex??
help please?! thx! (link)
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I think that it would ease your mind if you talked to your doctor about it. I know that this can happen occasionally but I don't know what causes it to happen.
There is no need to be embarrassed because your doctor will have been asked this sort of question many, many times before.
If you are too shy to talk to a doctor, can you take your Dad or an Uncle to help out with the talking?
Please don't worry too much until you know why it is happening. All the best.
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Hey i am 13/f and i am pregnant my baby is due in a week. No im not a slut or anything i would have kept my virginity until i was married but i was raped by my older sisters ex boyfriend. And I dont believe in abortion... my family is 100% supportive of this pregnancy and any decision i make. I just dont know if i wanna give him or her up for adoption. I really love the baby and i want whats best and i know that would to be with me because we have a good family and we have enough money to support the baby but i dont know if i will see the baby's dad in him or her and if it will scar me... I know its not the baby's fault. But anyway I could use support oh and baby names could help too! idk if its a boy or girl but i like names like nevaeh (nuh vey uh its heaven spelled backwards) and savannah and jayden, cayden, and skyler... anything else???
please help!!! (link)
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I am so sorry to hear that you have found yourself in this awful mess and I am glad that you have support around you.
Yes I can understand that you may think you will not love your child because of how it was conceived, but you will most certainly fall in love with your baby when you actually see it and hold it in your arms.
In my own opinion, I would not be able to give up a baby for adoption - I would be constantly worried that they were not happy or being cared for properly. It would also hurt me badly knowing someone else was bringing up a part of me.
You may feel better about it all if you could go for some counselling. Ask your doctor if there is any possibility of arranging for you to talk this through with someone not connected to your family.
I love the name Nevaeh, it has got a really lovely sound to it. I am not very good at suggesting names for new babies because I think the Mum has to look at the baby to see what would suit them. Anyway here are a few suggestions:-
Sorrell
Larkin
Aoife (pronounced Eefa)
Candra or Kandra
Destiny
I wish you all the very best for the future as a new family. Hold your head up high and be proud that you are going to be a mum.
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Okayyy i def believe in ghosts, because i actually saw one (no lies) ps. they aren't scary looking but anyway... i was just wondering if you guys believed in ghosts???? i do but i am wondering if you ppl do
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I most definitely believe in ghosts, the afterlife and entities. I have seen quite a few shadows of spirits and animals. They are not scary at all and in fact I find them comforting in a way. If you feel at any time, simply tell them nicely to leave you alone and they will go. I hope that my answer is helpful to you.
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Hey :) i am 14 years old and i collect stickers........ i was just wondering, am i too old to be collecting stickers??? i love it..... am i too old? or is it all in my head??
thx (link)
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Absolutely not. There are many, many people who continue to collect all sorts of things right into old age. If it makes you happy ignore any negative comments you may get. Have fun and enjoy your hobby.
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my best friend in the entire world isnt speaking to me!! i dont even know what i did wrong, and she just wont tell me. whenever i approach her she just turns around. any ideas how i can find out whats wrong? (link)
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If you can't think of anything that you may have done to upset her, write her a note asking her to explain why she is acting the way she is.
Tell her that you are confused because as far as you are aware you have done nothing wrong.
It is possible that someone has said something to her concerning you and she cannot ask you straight out.
Tell her that you consider her to be your very best friend and are hurt that she will not talk to you now.
If she refuses to acknowledge your letter, there is not a lot you can do about that. However, if you are friendly with her Mum, ask her if she knows what is wrong.
I hope that you can sort out this mess and I wish you the best of luck. Best friends are really hard to come by so when you have found one, stick with it if at all possible.
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me & my boyfriend have been having sex for awhile now. & he used a condom everytime, but the last time we did it he used the heated one and it broke but we really didn't realize it. & i know he def cummed. what are the chances i'm pregnant? i'm really scared =x
please help
thanks (link)
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If you suspect at all that you could have fallen pregnant then I suggest you ask your GP or a chemist to give you the morning after pill. This is prescribable in the first couple of days after unprotected sex.
To prevent this from being a problem in the future, is there a possibility that you could use some form of contraceptive in conjunction with the condom? Using two forms of contraceptive together gives you better protection against pregnancy and STDs. The family planning clinic or your doctor can do this for you without telling your parents if you feel you are not able to ask for their advice. (I have no idea how old you may be).
Don't panic too much at this stage - just go and seek some advice from a professional. Good luck.
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Im about to start school soon and im going to a new school.How do i deal with bullies?please answer this question. (link)
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The bullies will pick on anyone who appears different or gives an air of being a victim.
I suggest that you walk around with your head up and not be afraid to meet peoples eyes. Give out an air of confidence (even if you are quaking in your shoes - pretend to be someone else if you have to) and if anyone does anything to you don't be afraid to tell them to back off.
You will all be measuring each other up and it is first impressions that count unfortunately.
If you feel that you will become a victim of bullies, take a martial arts course to give yourself some courage. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself either.
I wish you well. Good luck.
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I got a second rat the other day and I want her to live with my first rat. They're in separate cages at present for quarantine purposes, in case the new rat is sick. Both rats are female and both are relatively young. How do I introduce them so they will learn to get along and live together peacefully not try to kill each other? (link)
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To start with I suggest that you put the two cages next to each other. That way they will learn each others smell without being able to get near to each other. After a few days it may be possible to put them in the same cage but with supervision on your part. It is likely that they will hiss and cuss at each other but they probably will not attack each other. Give them a few minutes to see how they react and if they do get a bit nasty then put them back into separate cages.
If you put them together and they settle down after a few minutes, leave them alone but watch them for a while. It is possible that because they are creatures that need company, they will be pleased to be together. Most likely they will cuddle up together and be okay.
If you are worried for the first night, separate them but don't move their cages apart. If all goes well they will enjoy being together and settle down well.
I hope that it all goes according to plan, but if not, don't worry and try again after another day or so. Good luck.
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so today about 20 minutes ago
my left eye started to go all blury
like how when you look at a light for too long and it goes all werid
and i dont know how to stop it or anything!!!
but its fine when im in the dark its just goes like that when i enter light or lighter places
someone help!
im scared im going blind
or that something will happen
i need help!
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Don't take any chances with your sight - go and see a professional who will be able to put your mind at rest. Good luck.
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hi...ive recently jus started goin out with this guy, and i realli love him.
the problem is .. he isnt the type of guy (looks wise) i wudda gone for .. the only reason im goin out with him is because of his personality and caring side...is this stupid?
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No it is not stupid at all. Looks will fade eventually but the personality will still be there. Enjoy his caring side and see beyond his looks. All the best.
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well i kno my sisters are kinda pissed off at me becuz i be takin they things w/o askin sometimes. and i dont blame them but they got the kicks that i want and i dont be wantin to make them mad but im broke cuz this my senior year in high school and i cant work. i gotta study and graduate. whats another way to make some money? and apologize to my sisters w/o tellin them EVERYTHING i took? (link)
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Asking your sisters if they would be willing to pay you a little money to keep their rooms tidy is an idea. Perhaps your Mum or another relative would be happy to pay you to clean the garden or mow the lawn.
If you tell your sisters that you are sorry for taking their things without permission, they may forgive you. However, don't be surprised if they don't trust you for a while. Tell them that you promise to ask before borrowing in future and will always give their things back laundered.
You will have to earn their trust and that may take some time. Keep to your promises and perhaps do little jobs for them without being asked. A cup of coffee if they look tired, or doing one of their chores might help.
I wish you well and hope that my suggestions help you a little. Good luck.
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whats the point of being fingered? it seems kind of repulsive to me...i guy sticking his finger up you. (link)
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Not everybody enjoys that part of sex but a lot of people do find it pleasurable. It is whatever turns you on that matters. If you find it repulsive then it is your perogative to say no. Sometimes it is not possible to have full sex, or it is used as foreplay to lubricate the vagina.
We all make the choice of how our bodies are given pleasure and what works for one may not work for someone else.
I hope that you will remain open-minded to all kinds of pleasure and wish you the very best.
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is masturbating a sin? just a question---cuz i think its completely gross!! (link)
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Personally I don't feel it is a sin. It is a personal choice and no-one is forced into doing something they don't like.
If it grosses you out - don't do it and don't think about it.
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ive been going out with my gf for 2 months and we havent madeout yet and i really want to but i just cant seem to beable to do it can someone tell me a way to get her to make out
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You should never force a girl to make out with you - that is neither appropriate or loving. You should both be comfortable with one another and agree together that it is something you both want.
It is not the answer you want but my advice is to wait until she is more into you and 2 months is not very long at all.
A girl needs to feel loved, treasured, wanted and desirable before she is able to start going further.
Assuming you are old enough, then start making her feel all of these things. If it doesn't happen, accept that she is not right for you and let her go. I wish you all the best for both yourself and your girlfriend.
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I'm a 15 year old girl...and i was just wondering how far you think i should go with a boy (please dont say "whatever i'm comfortable with")
and how far did you go when you were 15??
THANKS (link)
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At 15 I definitely don't think it is appropriate to go all the way with a guy. Your body and your emotional being are not mature enough at this age to cope with the demands of a sexual relationship.
It is difficult for any one of us to actually say when the time is right for you, you are the only one who can judge that. What I will say is that if you must question the rights and wrongs of a full relationship, you are most likely not ready for it.
As to how far I think you should go - again it is a question of how you feel about the sanctity of your own body. A guy will always push the boundaries to see how far he can get - it is up to you to stop him at whatever point you get "uncomfortable" at. If you feel a little grope of your boobs is appropriate - fine. If you think copping a feel of your genitals is okay - go ahead, BUT and it is a BIG BUT, never feel pushed into anything that you don't want to do and it is always advisable to hang on to your virginity for as long as possible.
I would personally say 15 is too young to start any form of sexual activity other than kissing. As for me - that is my secret and I will keep it.
Good luck.
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okay so i have a huge problem well i dunno but i got into a little fight with a friend over the internet and she is moving and i really want her to for give me but... i don't know if she will cause i was being a real big biotch so can any one help what should i do or say??? (link)
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Be honest with her and apologise for being a bitch. Explain what was happening for you to make you horrid to her. Ask for her forgiveness and let her know that you will miss her friendship. However if she feels that she cannot forgive you, you will have to accept it. You made the mistake and it is up to her if she feels your friendship is worth accepting your apology. Only you know what you said/did and only you can make it better. I wish you all the very best and hope that the outcome is the one that you wish for.
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