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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Someone I know is in an exchange program and they are over here in the U.S. from another country. They stay with a different family every two weeks. My question is: Am I able to offer temporary housing to this person or do I have to be with the program? We're willing to get checked out by the company, but not officially join...
Please, no assumptions. I want definite answers.
The Answer
You didn't even tell us the name of the program, how on earth could we even begin to find out accurate information for you?
Contact the exchange program's local agent. Your friend certainly will have their number, and speak to them about exploring the possibility of hosting a student. Some organizations might be delighted to have a family participate in this way, others might require total participation. You never know unless you ask.
Even if this practicular company is not interested in your family hosting, there would likely be another out there that as. Do some online research or speak to your teachers or guidance counselor for leads.
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The Question
I want to get birth control cause i'm thinking that I want to have sex with my 18 yeaf old boyfriend. I'm 17. But I don't want to ask my mom for that. I don't like to talk to her about that kind of stuff. So is there a way to get it without talkin to her or should I just tell her I want it but not for that reason?
The Answer
Unless she is a fool, she will put together why you want it if you tell her.
You might, simply ask her to make you a doctors appointment, or make one yourself. You are not a child, you could take a bus, or a cab to the appointment if you choose. It's all a matter of how resourceful you want to be.
I wouldn't recommend hiding this from your mother however. No matter how uncomfortable it may be it will be FAR worse if she finds out after the fact and feels you've lied to her.
So unless you mother is a raving lunatic who will lock you in the basement, suck it up and deal with the discomfort. Inform your mother you'd like to go on birth control and ask her, or tell her you will be, making an appointment.
She might be upset or irrational about it, forgive her for that. You are her baby after all. If she throws a fit, well, there are always condoms, which are frankly less expensive, and when used correctly, only very slightly less effective then the pill. She might also surprise you, and be very supportive through this. If she is, accept her support, even if makes you feel awkward, that shows a lot of maturity.
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The Question
i would like to hear from girls who have had a friends with benefits relationship with a guy. like how it started, and how it ended up. did you have feelings for the guy beyond friendship? did you end up becoming boyfriend & girlfriend? or did you end up getting hurt or feeling used? do you regret it, or are you glad you did it? basically, do you think its a good idea or not?
The Answer
I've had two friends with benefits relationships with guys.
I'm still friends with both, although I'm not very close with the one anymore.
The relationships began with the understanding that we were only friends, who slept together.
I never became either of their girlfriends, and I'm happy with that. I wouldn't get into a FWB arrangement if thought I wanted a relationship. Don't settle for FWB, always go after what you want. If "just sex" isn't what you want, don't accept it.
Guy 1 is rather messed up. I was nineteen at the time. We are still friendly, but don't see each other very often. I did end up feeling a bit betrayed in this situation, because he wasn't able to be honest with me, despite the fact I always treated him with respect. He was just a confused little boy.
Guy 2 is a wonderful guy, who for various reasons I would never date, but we had a fun time in bed and out of it. I remain very good friends with him and yeah, I do still have a crush on him but it's not causing me any angst or drama.
Although Guy 1 wasn't very well behaved and I did end up hurt by his carelessness, I never felt 'used' because I was always getting what I wanted too!
I don't necessarily regret either of those arrangements, but I don't think it's something I will do again, and I don't think it's a very good idea. Although both of my situations worked out reasonably well it opens you up to a whole bunch of trouble you just plain don't need. Also, in my experience MOST people get into a FWB relationship when they really want something more.
I also WOULD NOT recommend an FWB relationship to a teen, and even less to an inexperienced teen. You have to have the sexual vocabulary to deal with another person responsibly and respectfully. Without experience in the kind of feelings and issues that sex raises, you'll bumble about and get yourself hurt.
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The Question
when a girl says i just need time to get over him cuzz it wouldnt be fairr,i just need time to think'what does that acutally mean and how long do i have to wait to get my answer? i asked her out today.
The Answer
It means she has someone to get over and she isn't ready.
It also means she might not be all that interested in you.
You have to wait for as long as it takes, or as long as you choose too.
I wouldn't hold my breath if I where you. Most girls I know take more then a few days to get over a guy.
Leave her alone for now. Let her think. Ask her in week if she has made up her mind. If she says she still isn't sure, she might really be confused, in which case she totally isn't ready to date anyone or she might just be trying to let you down lightly. Do the smart thing and take her inabilty to give you a straighy answer as a 'No.'
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The Question
It's like an Anime movie. Like Totoro, and Kiki's Delivery Service if you've ever heard of them. Well, I was wondering if anyone here knew of any more movies like that. Could you list them, or if you can only think of one I'd be just as happy. Thanks.
The Answer
Not sure if you know this, but all the movies you've listed come from the same animator, Hayao Miyazaki. He is the man responsible for Spirted Away, My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayao_Miyazaki
Check it out.
I'd greatly reccomend his films Nausica and Howl's Moving Castle.
You might also try The Cat Returns (one of my all time favorites!) and Grave of the Fireflies. Those movies were not designed by Hayao Miyazaki himself, but they come out of the company he works for Studio Ghibli.
Oh, and you could also look into Studio Pierrot. They created Naruto (but don't hold that agianst them). They also made some lovely movies such as Like the Clouds, Like the Wind and Perfect Memory.
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The Question
14/f (sorry if its long)
Ok well I shadowed one of my friends a couple of weeks ago because i would be transferring to her school soon. anyway, we got to homeroom and she was introducing me to everyone. her boyfriend was in her homeroom, and was sitting in front of me. so he turns around and smiles and asks me if i remember him, and im like yeah. so he keeps looking at me and i turn away. then when i get home he ims me and was like hey. and we used to talk on aim like everyday, so we were sort of close. and we start talking, you know, having a normal conversation, and hes like i love you. i know he didnt really mean it cause he has a gf who is my friend. so im just like yea whatever. but he kept saying it and it got really annoying. and hes always like i love you why dont you ever say it back. and i would say it to get him off my case, but he might use it against me, you know? so i dont know why he keeps doing it so i asked and he says he tells all his friends that. but idk. why does he keep doing it and how can i get him to stop?
The Answer
Tell him respectfully that you 'don't' tell all your friends that, and you would be more comfortable if he didn't say it to you.
Love is a very complex word, with different meanings to different people. Tell him to respect your feelings about the word.
Assume he is harmless, maybe he is flirting with you, maybe he isn't, either way it's not cool.
If he wont quit it, stop talking to him, maybe not all togeather, but cutting down on your chatting with him will give him the message: Either he talks you the way you are both comfortable, or you don't talk.
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The Question
16/f
My bosses are jerks to all of their employees. This woman and her husband own the resturaunt and they don't treat us right. The woman has made all of the waitresses cry at one point or another because she gets in our faces and yells at us and accuses us of doing stuff wrong or not doing our job at all. We have confronted her about it and she just doesn't care. (she has even said so)
The man is also a jerk to us. He's always making fun of us if we forget something or make a simple mistake or if we have a question.
It really bothers all of us.
Now they are telling us that they don't want any employees under the age of 21 to work for them due to the alcohol serving issue with us being underage.
If they were to fire us just due to our age, is there anything we can do about it? Like is that some form of discrimination since they knew our ages and the laws when they hired us.
Thanks
The Answer
You can't file an age discrimination suit against them. A little known fact is that the federal law in the states against age discrimination only applies to those ABOVE 40. The law was designed to protect those who were being perceived as 'too old' or having their pensions snapped away by being let go. It was not intended to protect teens.
The UK and Australia have passed laws in the last few years to deal with this problem among teenagers, but to my knowledge, the US has no similar law.
Besides that, as ygsgirl said your employer could argue rather easily that they are not being discriminatory. Age discrimination is defined as having opportunity denied to a person you solely because of your age AND where age is irrelevant to the person's ability to take advantage of that opportunity.
The employer could very easily say, since this job requires the serving of alcohol, a person's age is very relevant. Doesn't really matter that they knew your age when they hired you, as I said before, you are not protected legally against ageism.
You also won't have a case against them for wrongful dismissal either. You have probably heard that you need to have 'just cause' to fire someone. Truth is, in your case they probably don't. If you are on probation, or are considered temporary or even just part-time, they can simply dismiss you. Even if you aren't, they only need to give you a week or two notice of your last day with them. Even if they don't give you this notice and you take them to court, you can only sue them for the pay you would have received in those one or two weeks you were not notified you would not be working. I'm just guessing at how much you make, but I bet it wouldn't cover the attorney fees.
My best advice to you would be to find another job, and then quit. You don’t need this bull or stress. Find some place that appreciates your work. Let them treat some girls who are over 21 like crap.
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The Question
The hottest guys I meet are too busy watching porn and girl on girl stuff(which is sick...okay...fine, guys making out can be hot but it's also very wrong!!!!) and shit like that and everything and it kinda makes me angry because like my friends(girls) don't go looking up pictures of naked guys or anything so like...I don't know if I can really trust guys a ton if they say that don't do that? GUYS...are any of you NOT like that? Answer truthfully!
And people have asked me to do some really wrong stuff on webcam too and I'm kinda concerned about that... >.>
The Answer
Having your own standards for behavoir is a great thing. Holding yourself up to them is wonderful. However, expecting everyone else to agree with and conform to your standards is going to make your life very very difficult.
A lot of guys watch porn, of course some don't, but not all the ones who do enjoy pornography are 'sick'. As a general rule guys get a great deal more enjoyment out of the visual aspect of sex then thier female counter parts. So alot of decent, hardworking, loving boyfriends/husbands/fathers, enjoy porn. As long as it's not an addiction, frankly, it is not your place to judge them for it.
You can choose not to speak to people who you know, or suspect, enjoy pornography, but that would make you a very judgemental person, and would narrow your socail group tremendously.
If you don't like what someone is asking you do to online, stop talking to them and block them, but if you don't approve with what they do in thier own private time behind a closed door, my advice to you is to get over it.
If a guy lies to you about watching pornography it might just have more to do with his fear of judgement then him not being trustworthy.
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The Question
I think I could have an infection in my underarms. Lately, since it's been summer, I can't fall asleep at night because of the irritation in my armpits.
I use "Certain Dri" night deodorant, which has always caused an irritation. The label said stop use if irritation or rash occurs, and I've always had an irritation/rash there, but never too bad. However, despite this I continued to use it because it was the only thing that stopped my sweating. Its pretty wierd, because now that its summer, my arm pits feel really itchy when I'm trying to go to sleep (Certain Dri is a night deodorant, which while you sleep, it shrinks the pores to limit prespiration). This past week, its been HORRIBLE, and every morning when I wake up, my underarms are so sensitive I can barely move my arms because ottherwise it sort of "chafes" (sp?) but in my armpit area.
It keeps me awake every night for about 2 hours, and then causes me pain in the morning. I don't think that I can stop using it though, because its summer and I hang out with a lot of boyyss =]
SO PLEAASE help me I have no idea what to do!
The Answer
For goodness sake stop using something that is hurting you! This shouldn't even be a difficult decision. Stop using a skin product that causes you pain. Who knows how bad the rash could have gotten by now.
Go see a doctor explain your dilemma and see if you can't get some advice on another product to use, or a referral to a dermatologist. Not wanting to smell bad makes sense, but there is likely another way to manage it if you only look into it.
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The Question
ok well im really confused! here's the situation: im 13 and me & my boyfriend have been together for over 2 years. i know he really loves me and we're like best friends too. he tells me he wants to stay together forever and someday get married (i know that probably wont happen, but anyway...)
the problem is he flirts with other girls all the time. its like hes trying to get them to like him, or make them think he likes them. ive told him like a zillion times how bad it makes me feel. he'll stop for a while, but then he'll do it again. sometimes i get the feeling he really does like another girl and wishes he could go out with her. it makes me so jealous and mad and i hate feeling that way.
so i asked my sister and brother for advice. my sister says: i should dump him. that if he really loved me, he wouldnt be interested in other girls and would care about my feelings. she says he wants his cake and eat it too and i shouldnt let him do that. she thinks hes just keeping me around until he finds someone he likes better and then he'll dump me.
but my brother says: its just harmless flirting thats normal for a boy his age. that most relationships our age dont last this long so its only natural for his mind to wander sometimes. but since hes stayed with me for all this time it must mean he really loves me. so my brother thinks i should stay with him and not let it bother me.
sooooo... who do you think is right???
The Answer
I think after two years togeather if your boyfriend was looking to trade up to another girl, he would have found one by now.
Flirting isn't judy just normal for 'boys his age'. Flirting is normal for a lot of people at different stages in thier lives. My 80 year old grandfather has always been, and will be on his deathbed, a charming and flirtateous man.
At this point it's safe to say your boyfriend isn't going to change his behavoir. You've told him, he's put a bit of effort into it, but he plainly doesn't think it's a big as deal as you do. Frankly, neither do it.
A lot the time a relationship will end when one party finds a new infatuation. In my experience that is just as likely to happen with a flirty person as with a non-flirty person. Some people just don't know it's time to break up untill they meet someone new. That is just life.
A cheater will cheat. A non-cheater wont. A relationship that isn't working will end, one that is working will probably last. The other people who you or he are attracted too don't actually factor in as much as you might feel they do.
However, if this still bothers you, if this is making you miserable, then don't wait until one of you (Hell! It could be you!) finds another person who makes it clear that you don't want to be togeather anymore. If neither of you can see eye to eye on this issue, it might be the one that means you need to part ways. It doesn't mean either of you are bad people, just that you aren't an ideal match.
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The Question
I'am a 30 yr old male and she is 27 yrs old. I have been dating a girl who is bipolar and everything seems to be going great. I'am nervious about her condition. But I really want to know if this relationship will work and how I should handle the relationship. Thanks.
The Answer
Ask her.
If everything seems to be going well and she appears to be dealing with her condition properly and in a healthy way, ask her about the illness.
She knows herself best. She probably knows her own difficulties best. Tell her about your concerns and your worries. She might be a little nervous about talking to you, but it will also show her how serious you are about being with her.
You should handle this relationship like you would any other. Treat your partner with respect and expect the same in return. If it isn't working, talk it out. If you have a reason to worry about her mental health, speak up.
There is no reason a person with a mental illness can't be in a long term happy relationship. Certainly a person who acknowledges and treats their illness has a far better chance then those millions of people who refuse to admit there is anything wrong.
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The Question
Hey there.
Okay, so. I work at Six Flags & this new guy named Alex just recently started working there too. So, we started talking, exchanged numbers & what have you. I never exactly told him that I liked him, because I knew he had a girlfriend.
Basically, him & his girlfriend were on a break, because she had chosen to be on it. Like, a month before he even met me and then we went to the movies last night & two nights ago. She was sooo furious. She got SO mad like, and Alex's younger sister sent me a message on Myspace, and she's like freaking out because she loves his ex girlfriend.
I don't know what to do. Because, Alex's ex girlfriend works at Six Flags too, and even though I won't see her all the time, I just don't want her starting crap with me.
Is this like, normal that his younger sister like totally hates me? Because, I don't want her to hate me already. Haha, it sucks. & also, is it wrong that I'm like dating Alex too? Has anyone else been through this?
Thanks.
The Answer
Talk to Alex.
People in his stituation have a terrible habit of sitting back and just letting the shit fly for everyone else. Somehow they avoid the trouble that they are causing everyone else.
If he doesn't want to be with his girlfriend anymore, he should tell her so. If he wants to date you, he should tell his little sister to bug off. If he doesn't have a clue what he wants, you should probably take a step back from dating him. Hang out with him in groups, talk him online or on the phone (but not every day) and don't 'go out' with him anymore.
I say that for your own peace of mind, not because it's 'wrong'. You shouldn't be made a victim or be hated on by his ex and sister just because he doesn't know quite what he wants. That will only make you stress, and make you resent him. It's not a good way to start off something serious with someone.
But the biggest reason of all to not a date a person who is 'on a break' from another relationship is because YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THEY WANT TO BE WITH YOU. Not some wishy-washy guy.
Tell him the truth, simply and plainly, that you are interested in him, but don't feel this can go any further 'till he knows what he wants and tells the other girls in his life that. If he can figure it out, great! Until then, no more dating. That is the only way to give a relationship with him a fighting chance, and to protect yourself from needless anxiety.
As much as you might like a guy, never forget to put your own sanity first.
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The Question
Can you change the name of your college major a little bit on a resume? Technically, my major is "Hotel and Restaurant Management"..but I just wanna put "Hotel Management" on my resume.
Is that illegal, misleading, or anything bad?
The Answer
Whether or not it is misleading or illegal, I would not do it.
Your employer is likely familar with your school and program and changing or ommiting a part of your program name would at the very least make you look foolish and as though you didn't know your own degree program. At the worst it might make you look dishonest.
You don't want that at all, so if I were you I would write exactly what it says on your degree. If you specailized in Hotel Management there are a few ways you can clarify that: One is in your cover letter of course. You could also use a heading like Career Objective or Summary of Qualifications at the top of your resume and list there some of the classes you took or even just that you focused on Hotel Management while at school.
Best of luck!
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The Question
Today, I was watching Peter Pan and a few Veggie Tales movies when my friends called and asked what I was doing. They laughed when I told them I what I watching. They said Disney and Veggie Tales are for little kids. I can't help it. I like those movies. They're funny and cool, but i need advice on what should I do. Should I stop watching them? Or stick with the movies?
The Answer
I'm twenty two.
I wacthed the Little Mermaid and Ferngully last week with three friends, all my age.
I collect My Little Ponies.
My favorite pj's have Winnie the Pooh on them.
You're completely normal. It's your friends who are wierd. In a few years they will realize that being 'grown up' doesn't mean you can't enjoy lego and love your stuff animals. Most people grown out of the "I'm too old for that!" phase into the "I'm old enough to just like what I like and not have to apologize to anyone" phase.
Like what you like, and don't apologize for it.
Oh, and everybody has a water buffulo. Don't forget that.
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The Question
when you give a guy a BJ, how long does it usually take for them to cum ?
The Answer
10 Seconds to 10 hours.
Some guys don't orgasm at all from oral sex, for others it takes a while, for some it's over in a heart beat.
Depends on the guy mostly, but also your comfort and experience level. The simpliest way to get a general idea is to simply ask the guy you are with how he likes it, and how long it normally takes.
Honesty in bed is hot (in my warped opinion). It's also saves everyone angst. Just talk to the guy about it before you get to it.
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The Question
ok well this guy constantly flirts with me. does he like me?
The Answer
No. He is flirting with you constantly to inform you that you smell.
Seriously... He is flirting with you right? Does he flirt with all the girls that way? If not flirt back and playfully ask him if he likes you already!
Nobody here is a mind reader, and no guy I've ever met flirts with a girl because he hates her.
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The Question
Ya know how when your pregnant your bellybutton sticks out? Well if your bellybuttin is pierced and you get pregant, do you have to take out the piercing?
The Answer
Some doctors might ask you too, although there isn't any medical reason for it really, except that it becomes uncomfortable. After about the 5th or 6th month the skin on your abdomen begins to really stretch and it's then that most women apparently find it unpleasant to leave it in.
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The Question
ok i heard this myth that if an elevator breaks down and then when it starts to fall, if you jump before it hits the first floor, then you wont get hurt. is that true?
The Answer
No way Jose.
If you are stuck in a falling elevator (which is, by the way, amazingly unlikely, there are on average, 5 to 7 safeties in place to keep an elevator from falling) the only thing you can really do is make your peace with your creator. If you are falling at terminal velocity, even if you managed to time it perfectly, you just can’t jump with enough force. Period. It’s just a matter of physics.
The most recommended method for surviving a falling elevator (thank you worse case Survival Guide) is to lie down on the floor and cover your head. That way the impact is distributed over your whole body.
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The Question
i had sex for the first time last week, and then again this past saturday... after the first time, i was fine and just a little sore for a couple of hours.. however after the second time on saturday, things were a little harder to cope with. i was sore the entire next day and for some reason i kept feeling like i had to pee, but couldn't. and when i actually was able to, it hurt to pee. nothing that physically different happened the second time i had sex, what makes this after-effect so different from the first time? and why is it effecting my urinary system?
The Answer
You'll need to see a doctor.
It sounds like you have a urinary tract infection, they are random, and can happen at anytime, but do tend to be more frequent in sexually active women.
They are relatively harmless at first, but if left untreated they can cause you to become dehydrated and develop kidney problems. They also hurt a hell of a lot.
So see a doctor. You could just tell your parents it hurts when you pee, if you aren't comfortable telling them the whole thing. That sort of thing does just happen.
It could of course be something else, I can't be sure, but I would bet it's just a UTI. But Tell your doctor the truth about what you were doing regardless. (ALWAYS, tell a doctor the truth!) If it's a UTI you'll be given some pills and that will be that.
In the future rinse yourself off and try to go pee after you have sex to flush out any bacteria that might get in there. That will help you avoid these.
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The Question
can you get pregnant if they didnt pop your cherry and your still a virgin?
The Answer
Sperm can get into the vagina without the penis penetrating inside if it gets close enough to the vaginal opening. It's very unlikely, but still not safe for a girl to get semen close to her vagina, even if it's it's just on someone fingers. Better safe then sorry.
It makes no difference if you hymen is intacted or not. It is possible for a women to become pregnant even though her hymen is still intacted.
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