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Friends with Benefits - Your Experiences?
i would like to hear from girls who have had a friends with benefits relationship with a guy. like how it started, and how it ended up. did you have feelings for the guy beyond friendship? did you end up becoming boyfriend & girlfriend? or did you end up getting hurt or feeling used? do you regret it, or are you glad you did it? basically, do you think its a good idea or not?
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I've had two friends with benefits relationships with guys.
I'm still friends with both, although I'm not very close with the one anymore.
The relationships began with the understanding that we were only friends, who slept together.
I never became either of their girlfriends, and I'm happy with that. I wouldn't get into a FWB arrangement if thought I wanted a relationship. Don't settle for FWB, always go after what you want. If "just sex" isn't what you want, don't accept it.
Guy 1 is rather messed up. I was nineteen at the time. We are still friendly, but don't see each other very often. I did end up feeling a bit betrayed in this situation, because he wasn't able to be honest with me, despite the fact I always treated him with respect. He was just a confused little boy.
Guy 2 is a wonderful guy, who for various reasons I would never date, but we had a fun time in bed and out of it. I remain very good friends with him and yeah, I do still have a crush on him but it's not causing me any angst or drama.
Although Guy 1 wasn't very well behaved and I did end up hurt by his carelessness, I never felt 'used' because I was always getting what I wanted too!
I don't necessarily regret either of those arrangements, but I don't think it's something I will do again, and I don't think it's a very good idea. Although both of my situations worked out reasonably well it opens you up to a whole bunch of trouble you just plain don't need. Also, in my experience MOST people get into a FWB relationship when they really want something more.
I also WOULD NOT recommend an FWB relationship to a teen, and even less to an inexperienced teen. You have to have the sexual vocabulary to deal with another person responsibly and respectfully. Without experience in the kind of feelings and issues that sex raises, you'll bumble about and get yourself hurt.
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i've been in that situation. it's not a bad idea, as long as you're not emotionally attached. my best boy friend & i used to mess around all the time. neither of us had any intentions of being in a relationship with anyone else. we were completely comfortable with the situation, & with each other. it actually went on for about three years. we did date on & off while all this was happening, but we were better off friends. we don't talk much anymore because he moved out of state, but i know he's still my bff, & he always will be. the benefits only made our friendship stronger, but it really depends on the person. go ahead & do it, but there's always the risk of heartbreak. =]
---molly.
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i've been in a "friends with benefits" situation a few times. it was fun in the moment, but in the end, someone got attatched and felt used and hurt. when you're just messing around, you don't realize it at all, but you're waiting for something better, or just something new to come your way. i wouldn't recommend it, but if you're the type that has to learn for themselves [like me] then give it a try. all situations arent' the same.
good luck (:
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Hey, well i have many different thoughts on the whole friends with benefits thing. It depends on how you guys both feel about the situation. Its not going to work if you just want to be friends with benefits, but the guy is head over heels for you (vice versa). Also you have to be careful on who your friends with benefits with. You dont want to get into that with someone who will tgo around telling everyone what you guys do, if your good or not, how your vagina looks etc. Also friends with benefits is iffy because if one of you starts developing real feelings for each other in the future, you guys will remember that you were friends with benefits and probably write off each other as "NOT girlfriend/boyfriend material". So you need to be careful with what you do now with your actions, because it can easily effect the future.
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I think that before you consider having a friends with benefits thing tehn you should really figure out if you adn this guy are on the same page. You dont want it going arounda nd people calling oyu all kidsn od different names, and you dont want the guy to think that you like him so it really jsut depends on you and this guy. I;ve had that happen to me before and it got around and elt me tell you it was a rough few next weeks. be careful ... its a risk that some people shouldnt take
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