Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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Hey guys..Is there any Filipinos here??..because if there is I would to get advice on relationship,and i would ask it in tagalog,because my English is not that great..oh Im 17yrs-old (link)
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im pacific islander but i was raised white. sorry. i can only speak in english....but i dont mind trying to help you.
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I woke up Saturday morning after a night of drinking with a friend and i blacked out. and when i woke up i was in my friend's daughter's bed and my friends 11 year old daughter was sleeping right next to me completely naked. and I was too. i knew that she had a crush on me because her dad said that he read it in her diary but i never knew it would go this far. and here is the ****** part about it I'm 25 year old guy so i don't even know what too do i was able too wake her up and we were able to get dressed before her dad woke up and other than me taking the virginity of my best friends daughter i didn't wear a condom so she may get pregnant and I'm that case i guess I'm completely ******. i feel like a complete asshole knowing that i did this with her. and then about a day later she asked me if i wanted to do it again. i don't really know what to say. i don't know if we should do it again. or just tell her that we cant ever again but she might tell her dad that this happened if i don't and if we do i know that we could get away with it because i do watch her sometimes for my friend when he has to work late at night. i don't know what to do should i break it off with and getting pissed at me and telling her dad or should i have some sort of strange relationship with her Because i dont want to hurt her feelings. (link)
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ok wait a minute, i have a few questions here before we jump to the "you raped a child" conclusion because this may not ALL be totally on you. Not that im defending what you and probably half the people here think you did but this situation sounds like it was set up for something like this to possibly happen.
first off where the hell was this girls parents?
where you supposed to be watching over her? did you go to your friends house drunk? and why would your friend allow you to sleep or "pass out" drunk in his own daughters bedroom?? just THAT right there tells me hes not thinking about his childs well being. What if she were to come home from being out somewhere and see a drunken man on her bed?? she may know you but her father or guardian should never allow a grown adult whos intoxicated to crash at his house knowing his child has "feelings for you" to stay in the same house! what was he thinking! for the protection of his own child i wouldnt even have considered it, and had someone drive you home. theres too much of a chance there that SOMETHING could happen.
I think you should talk to your friend and ask sort this all out. YES it could potentially mean losing a friend and maybe even jail time, but at the same time they will look at the parents of this girl and say "well where the hell were YOU when this happened?!?" and she could be taken away by CPS.
ask him what happened on the night that you all got drunk and why you woke up in his daughters bed, and why she was curled up next to you! first of all!
I really have to wonder how in the world her father thought that this would be appropriate in any sense of the word. So im just left with more questions then answers here.
Im not sure what else to tell you besides sit down and talk to him when its just the two of you and tell him you woke up in his daughters bedroom, that you blacked out and down remember ANYTHING (because thats the truth RIGHT?) and ask him if HE remembers anything and compare stories to see if you can connect the dots.
Maybe you didnt take her virginity and maybe she just removed your clothes? i mean if YOU dont remember then wheres the proof??
SHE can say you two did something but her feelings for you could be causing her to SAY you did something because she wants to bring herself closer to you or pretend theres a bond there when there isnt or shouldnt be.
if you honest to god do not remember anything then i think you need to talk to your friend, her father, and try to sort this all out.
Im not saying try to play the blame game here but this should never have been allowed to happen, you shouldnt have been allowed to sleep in her room, her father KNOWING his child had feelings for you SHOULD have kept an eye on you AND HER just incase, and insisted you get home somehow safely. Im feeling like honestly this isnt all your fault. her father was aware of the feelings, and is aware of your personality when your drunk and that a situation where your there with his child in the same house should never have happened.
i would remind him that he could get in trouble too if this were to go to court because of these reasons and him looking like a neglectful parent could lose her to the foster care system.
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What should I say to someone who has a chronic illness to make them feel better? (link)
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i agree it depends on what the illness is and how much it effects their life but try to sympathize with them and try to get them to not loose hope and that things could be worse.
when they try to come up with reasons why they cant do this or that try to help them chose to find a way around it, like "i cant work because i dont think with this illness i could maintain a job" and you could reply "well maybe you could work from work and sell stuff online!"
trying to come up with ideas that might help is always helpful. Some people dont like the "god" thing tossed their way because not everyone thinks that way and no everyone even believes in it. so a neutral way to go like coming up with things that are realistic that they could try could definitely help.
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I was wondering.. Is it ok for a 22 year old male to date a 17 year old girl as long as both are alright with it and everything is concentual? (link)
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Age can really be just a number if your 17 year old is wise beyond her years, mature, and is on the same page with you about what you wanna do with your life/job/education etc. and continues to stay on the same page into the future.
depending on where you are YES there can be some eyebrows raised legally about age difference, but as long as your both understanding of what could happen if its NOT ok and are willing to make sure not to make any mistakes then i dont see why not.
Where it can get complicated is personally. like: does she want the same things your want in life, in the future, will she support your choices job wise, and will you do have the same things in mind for her choices and be able to meet each other in the middle? in order to keep the relationship afloat?
your JUST old enough now then she is that you may be in two different places in your lives and this could make things difficult. youll both have to try to be very understanding of each other, with certain things. aka when you get invited to go out with buddies and she cant go but you'd really like to, will she be ok with that and trust you enough to knwo that you wont cheat or something?? you have to remember shes 17 and potentially VERY insecure over you.
Will you put your social life aside because of those insecurity's? or make her do the same because you think she might cheat on you?
these are the other obstacles that stand in your way when having a relationship with someone who is more then four to five years younger then you.....
good luck though ; )
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Someone just texted me saying i have a blood clot in my leg and if anything happens I want you to know I love you how do i respond and comfort her (link)
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umm well theres some basis here. Maybe you love them too and you hope everything goes ok and that they'll get better?? i mean that seems pretty simple to me.....
They should be in a hospital getting the treatment they need to prevent the blood clot from going to their brain.
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I am a 21 year old female university student and my parents really just won't leave me alone! I have a curfew of 12 o clock according to them, but if I ever go out they send me messages and call constantly asking when I'll be back, well before 12. I suppose the motivation behind this question goes back to an hour ago, I asked permission to go to the mall with my friends and my father said no that its too dangerous. I've spoken to them many times about this and at the time they agree that I would have some space but they never follow through. This is making me really miserable, and I just want them to understand that I'm an adult and want to have my own life. What could I do to make them let go? (link)
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Yup i agree with dragonfly here, why would you ASK if its ok? your a full blown adult?
have they always just been really strict? If so your going to need to stand up to them and if in that moment where they agree to let you have some space where you can got out with your friends then when you attempt to go out, you could bring up that they said when you talked last that they would "ease up" a bit.
They may have this idea that they "own you" basically because they may be paying your way through school and your still living under their roof but the fact that your aging still doesnt change a thing and theres not anything anyone can do to control THAT and they need to back off a little bit.
You could also try leaving earlier in the evening so that theres no chance for them to SAY no because your already still gone.
unless they need your help because they are old and sickly, they dont need to be calling you repeatedly like that. Threaten to not answer the phone if their going to insist on harassing you while your out "running errands" and having a meal with your friends.
did they say no to going out because it was ALREADY late?? like "its too late to be going out now its like 101" ??
that AS A PARENT i could understand and would be concerned for my child going out that late although i would feel better if i knew she was with other trusted friends that wouldnt let anything bad happen to you. (((you can always mention that too))
If i were you i would move out though, sorry but it must be said. in my world your too old for this, and getting some roomates should be a definite goal here. If your parents threaten to cut off your funding for school then their being selfish and dont care about you in reality and their just using this as a tool to control you longer. which isnt fair.
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Hi , so today I took a pregnancy test but I am so confused. So the pregnancy in order for it to be positive it should mark (+)(|) but if it's negative it should mark (-)(|). But my question is the pregnancy test marked (-) but it didn't mark the second line. In order to be positive the first line is a plus and then a straight line. And in order to be negative the first line should be horizontal (-) and then a vertical one (|). It marked negaitive as the first line horizontal (-) but it didn't mark the second line. Should I be worried? I mean the second line is the same for both positive and negative the only difference is the first lines a plus for positive and a horizontal line for negative. And I got the first negative horizontal line but no second line. Help?! (link)
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chances are if the test isnt showing what its supposed to be showing then it is defective and you need to buy another one maybe this time with a different read out on it and see what that one says.
like everything else in this world, products DO come out sometimes defective. ; )
good luck
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I've cut my daily calorie intake from 4000 to 1500, I'm drinking lots of water and green tea every day (they're the only beverages I drink now), I've cut out crisps, chocolate, cakes, and all forms of junk food. I exercise for 30 minutes a day. I've been doing this for 10 days so why haven't I lost any weight? (link)
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its only been ten days! lol give it some time!
while i agree with seeing the doctor to make sure your body is ok, i also think you need to find the right kind of diet that isnt too stressful on your body because the wrong diet could trick your body into a do or die/survival mode and it will be more resistant to letting go of the fat.
if your not taking multi-vitamins i would if i were you, water and REGULAR unsweetened tea work too. you might need to cut out certain things like breads of any kind, and try a high protein diet, my husband is currently on the keytone diet and hes dropping weight like ive never seen before on anyone its amazing.
Theres forums you can check on anytime to find out right then and there is theres something you want to eat but arent sure about.
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I have natural hair and I want to keep it curled, but when I ge my ends trimmed, the hairdresser has to straighten it. What do I do to keep my ends cut without having to straighten my hair? (link)
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i went to cosmetology school and cut hair. There is no KNOWN way to cut your hair without straightening it or wetting it first because if its curly it needs to be all even and ONE length and the only accurate way to get that is by straightening or wetting. sorry.
maybe if you got a really experienced hair dresser that is used to working with curly hair and isnt afraid to possibly cut your hair unevenly then its going to be extremely hard to avoid.....
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I told my friend I liked him and although he said he didn't like me as a crush, we agreed to still be friends. It's been about three months now and I want to get over him. Therefore I don't message him first anymore now but do respond and talk when he does. He used to message me first but for the last week he doesn't and at school even it seems like we don't talk much anymore. Even though I know I want to get over him, it is kinda heartbreaking when he doesn't message now. Should I message first? Why does it seem like he is kind of avoiding me? How can I get over him as a crush but still have him as a friend? I'm a 11th grade girl if that helps. (link)
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Yeah it sounds like hes trying to back off slowly so you dont get hurt, but what has been done cannot be undone and once someone knows your have feelings for them like that, its basically left up to them with what to DO with those feelings. He may not know how to handle this and how to feel so to keep anyone including him from getting hurt on any level hes easing away slowly.
Just continue to be nice to him whenever you see him and if you want to stay friends try to do things with him in a group of people so he doesnt feel weird. like plan a trip to the mall with your friends and have him come along. invite him and then see if he shows, this will tell you if hes still interested in even just being friends at this point.
if he does show and wants to be friends, keep the mood light, dont hang on every word he says, if the subject comes up and you both start to feel uncomfortable then play it off and say something light hearted like "well i had to let him know hes a good looking guy but GEEZ its not like THAT! hahaha" OWN IT basically is what im saying, act like its not a big deal and that you would tell ANY GUY if you thought he was good looking or that you were fond of him that nothing would stop you (even if you know it would) and then shrug and change the subject. this will minimize any damage that may have happened as a result of you letting your feelings be known. ; )
treat him like a buddy but dont play favorites, and he will see hopefully that things dont have to be forever changed just because you liked him and he didnt return the feelings. its OK and its part of life. its nothing to be ashamed of.
Maybe hes feeling like he doesnt have anything to say or doesnt know how to talk to you anymore, so if you want to remain friends and be able to text back and forth it will be your job to make sure that line of communication stays steady, send him funny videos of you and your friends doing silly things and talk to him about movies or something crazy you just saw on the tv. FIND things to talk to him about and over time he should start to feel more comfortable with freely talking to you again. just give him some time.
good luck ; )
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So me and my bf have been dating for 3 years. In the beginning it was all good . you know fun . but there comes a time we're you gatta be serious like work or school he doesn't do any of that all he does is smoke weed and sometime drink most of the weekend also hang out . I tell him to go to school or start working .he said he will but I don't see any of that happening just the same thing. No progress.. I feel like he won't change I want a better life for him . we talk about moving together finding a place starting a family but feel like that will never happen. I love him but I don't know what to do . HELP (link)
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I dont know how old you are but i agree with the other poster, hes not trying to do anything with his life right now, hes probably taking you for granted and doesnt think youll leave and thinks hes "got it made" I say you tell him that your tired of his lazy behavior, that you want more out of life not just laying around and getting high.
Tell him you need a break at least and then take that time to not focus on him and see how he reacts to that. see if he thinks things over and gets a job while your apart.
Tell him that if he wants this to work he needs to have a job after your break and if it looks like hes making progress then you can give him another shot because maybe he will have thought things over and realized how important this is to you and that your serious about a better life for the two of you.
remember ANY JOB even if its fast food will suffice, but if he cant even manage that then he doesnt deserve you and you are wayyy out of his league. you sound like your wise beyond your years and know what you want out of life. Do you really think someone like him would be able to keep up with you later down the road?
your going to end up supporting HIM when the two of you get older, youll come home to your apartment and he'll have been there all day getting high and hanging out while your paying ALL the bills and keeping the two of you just above sleeping on the streets, barely able to pay bills. So unless hes willing to readily change after a short break then i think you need to move on because love is powerful but its not going to pay the bills or keep food on the table or feed possible children.
Also remember having a child with someone like this will NOT always make him "straighten up" or "change" if what he does is deeply ingrained him. Does he at least have a car?? or ANY responsibilities?? and if so how well does he take care of them??
Also having a child with this person will tie you to them FOR LIFE because he has a right to see his child, so he'll never just be that "mistake" or "loser" you dated years ago and be glad you put it behind him and dont have to deal with him ever again should things go badly. really keep that in your head because ive had alot of friends that thought at the time of their broken relationship with their man they knowingly had a child with them thinking it would help bring them closer and it didnt, if anything a child complicates matters and doesnt allow you to focus on each other anymore causing MORE unneeded stress that will eventually end badly.
If he cant even meet you halfway on things when you ask him to ease up off the weed and maybe start listening to what your saying when you speak of having a future together then hes not taking what your saying seriously anyway and thats red flag number one that you need to leave. This shows that he doesnt take anything you say seriously and is just "going along with it" to appease you temporarily.
It sounds like hes not serious about ANYTHING in his life right now and for someone like you whos thinking of the future thats just not going to work, your not compatible and nothing you say or do for him is going to change that. He has to want those things too and he clearly doesnt, so he doesnt want the same things you want. you cant help someone that doesnt want to be helped, life is a journey each and every one of us has to take on our own even if your married and have a long time partner, you still live and breathe your own life and your own feelings and thoughts. theres people in this world that think "if i have a man or a partner, they'll take care of everything for me so i dont have to" but thats not the case even if you have someone that pays all your bills and you dont have to do anything all day.
good luck and take some time to really think this through. i think youll see whats really best for you here....; )
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My boyfriend and I have been on and off but lately things have been well for us and I couldn't be ever more thankful that we have stopped arguing and tried to get to some common ground. Although, deep down, I can feel another fight coming, though I definitely don't want it to happen. The last time we talked to each other about our feelings and confronted each other on our problems, he told me something that just resonated and wouldn't leave my mind. When we first started becoming serious, and even when I was for sure serious about him, I remember that there was time where on social media, he would try to follow almost every girl he knew and would constantly like their pictures. I knew through people telling me and things I saw for myself. All of that hurt deep down knowing he was telling me one thing but was trying to get attention from other girls. Today, he doesn't really do it but I remember from our night's discussion that he told me whenever he was with his ex, he would think about being with other girls physically. He told me this because he was trying to say that he never feels that way with me. Of course after he mentioned it, I remember those times we were talking when I saw that same behavior from him. Now, I guess we are more serious but my question is, why does it bother me so much? I do trust him now but I'm scared if things go bad, what if he turns back to this behavior. It would hurt so much.
It also bothers me that he's had about 5 girlfriends in the past and he told me about some of the hookups he had too. I know its not a competition but I've had only one boyfriend in the past so... I don't know, it makes me a little insecure. How do I get over this? (link)
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i have a few ideas for this. If you really want things to work things out with him and you want to try to train him a little to THINK before he speaks try some tactics here ok. (((i promote these ONLY for the best of use, NOT for evil)))
number one: WHATEVER HE SAYS TO YOU EVEN IF ITS FULL ON ANGRY AND HES SCREAMING AT YOU STAY CALM, stay totally poker faced and do NOT allow him to stir emotion in you that comes back at him in a mean way. just dont say ANYTHING back at all and just stare, this will allow him to think about the things he just said to you, and give him a chance to take back what he said a few minutes later.
(example here) say you had an argument while sitting in your living room, he lashes out at you and yells and screams and then walks off into a bedroom or even out of the house.
you:say nothing, keep calm, because youll do nothing here but feed the fire and he will only feed off your anger. you can shake your head silently infront of him in "disappointment" and if he says anything to you about that just say "nothing im just disappointed that all...."
allow him to digest this even if it means him leaving the room or the house for a while. do not call or follow him, LET him leave if he wants. when hes as angry as you say he gets then it sounds like he needs space to deal with his emotions. He sounds like he thinks with his emotions and not with his brain. People like this are erratic and can be irrational people, often times being hard to deal with because their ideals about the world or you as a partner are not based in reality and the only person that will suffer from this is you while in a relationship with someone like that.
when you can really sit with him and talk to him, it might be a good idea to talk to him about people who live their lives by their emotions and how its honestly not healthy for them or the people around them.
secondly, he does NOT need to be telling you all about his past "hookups", as a man this shows that he has low self esteem and needs to make himself appear as large as those beautiful peacocks at the zoo flaunting themselves to all the females that might be in the area. He might have the idea that (and again heres where emotional thinking instead of rational thinking comes into play here) that he needs to be admired and seen as an experienced male, when in fact all it does for most people is make him appear "dirty" sexually, and cannot commit or find a relationship that works (because how many females does a guy have to go through before he finds "the one"??) its not that hard to make yourself compatible with another person thats open and willing to love you back if they have it in their heart to do so.
theres a basic foundation for a long lasting GOOD relationship (at least in my eyes) and its love, respect, honesty, faithfulness, and communication.
Theres not much room for overly emotional, irrational thinkers and if your boyfriend is one of those and it sounds like by what your describing he is then he might need to get some counseling to work through whatever it is that leaves him so "touchy" and easily angered.
Try asking him when you feel like another fight is on the horizon what hes thinking about, if hes ok, or trying to ask him whats on his mind. These questions will allow you to gauge where he is emotionally and mentally so that you can go forward with him socially from that point on. youll know where hes feeling snappy and pissy, or calm and chill and youll have a better handle on how to deal with him.
also a "ok i just thought i would ask you seem a little stressed out so i was trying to just check on you and see if you wanted to take about it" is always a good angle because you come off as "concerned" and like your trying to put your best foot forward but HES the one that is giving you a hard time. see? its perfect.
; )
just remember no matter what he does staying calm, cool and collected will be your winning ticket when he gets angry, and the fewer words the better. If he is totally unapologetic then its time to move on when he says certain things you "dont appreciate hearing"
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Okay. So I had a girlfriend who I was dating for three weeks (I'm a thirteen year old girl by the way) I know it was a short time but I had been crushing on her for ages and I was (maybe still am?) in love with her. She has a friend who she was close with, too close with, out of school with texting and stuff it was fine. But at school her friend (everyone in this situation is a girl, this is at an all girls school) was all over her, and she barley spent any time with me at school. I told her I was uncomfortable with this and she said that her and her friend wouldn't be separated by a boy or girl, and that if I wasn't comfortable then I should leave. I said that I will always love her but I couldn't be in a relationship where I was unhappy. So I broke up with her nicely and we left it at that. The next day we didn't speak to each other at all. I didn't want to abandon our friendship so I asked if she still wanted to be civil. She said Ahaha, no. We hadnt spoken in about two weeks after that. During this time there was a girl that I had also previously crushed on, and as it didn't seem like girlfriend 1 wanted anything to do with me, 2 days after I broke up I got together with girlfriend 2. Girlfriend 2 is kind and pretty and sweet, I can't find 1 flaw with her. But once with her I realised that I had moved relationships too quickly and I was still dwelling on girlfriend 1. But I thought that if I broke up with girlfriend 2 it would ruin a chance to date her when I was ready to move on. I still dwelled on Girlfriend 1 at times, telling my friends I hates her to suppress my feelings. And then I got more into the relationship with girlfriend 2 and we told each other we loved each other so much and stuff with love hearts and a billion kisses on texts, exetera. But deep down I'm not sure wether I love her like that, or she's just a distraction. Yes I know! I could be being a real bitch but I'm super confused and that's why I'm asking for advice to help me with decideding what to do with things. Anyway, so I'd have been dating girlfriend 2 for 2 weeks tomorrow, we've got each other gifts and stuff for our two week anniversary. But then tonight girlfriend 1 text me saying this exactly:
So
Um hi
This is just to say I'm really sorry for being such a bitch two weeks ago and I know I'm probably the last person you'll ever want to speak To again
But I'm willing to take up your offer on being civil if not friends again?
It's just that I do miss having you as a friend (let alone girlfriend) because you were an amazing person I appreciated having in my life even if I didn't show it much
So
Wanna be friends again?
Seeing this instantly made any progress I made go down the drain as old feelings were brought up again. Girlfriend 1 doesn't know I'm dating girlfriend 2. Old feelings were brought up and I agreed to try being friends again. I asked her about her sudden change in feelings after 2 weeks, she said that she missed having me in her life. I think she may want me back from his she's put things, I think she'd wait awhile before she asked anything though. But if she does want me back I feel like I'd want her back as well. But then there's girlfriend 2 and I think I may like girlfriend 2 as well, but who am I kidding? I think I still like girlfriend 1. Someone please tell me what I should do!!! I'm so confused and upset and I really need some help. Thanks :( (link)
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Well bottom line it sounds like your really confused here and you dont know what you want. the only way to really NOT hurt anyone right now would to either be not date either of them until you can figure yourself and your feelings out, or tell gf number 1 and hope she accepts it. Its not your fault she decided to snub you and then while it was happening you met someone else. thats her fault, she made the mistake of treating you like that and you shouldnt feel bad about it because you did nothing wrong here.
sometimes its important to let an untrained baby sit for a little bit in their own pee so that they can understand what it feels like to be clean and do what their supposed to do (go to the potty and pee like everyone else) get it??
if you want to be friends again thats fine but i would keep her at a distance for a while until she proves that she can act right again or is willing to acknowledge that she messed up.
secondly, dont take this out on gf number 2, if shes a good sweet person then why would you go back to the person that hurt you?? do you WANNA get hurt again?? probably not.
i say just stay with number 2 and if you ever brake up then youll have number 1 to go back to since youve stayed in contact but at a friendship ONLY level.
; ) good luck
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How can I prevent from diabetes? (link)
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i agree with the other poster. yes changing your diet will definitely help, there is some genetic chance you could get it but if you wernt born with it then you develop it in old age, thats something you can manage and even possibly beat.
Before my mother died a few years ago of breast cancer she got diabetes and she was such an organized person that she managed to BEAT it! ; )
it is possible to manage it so well that you damn near beat it like she did, you just have to have self control, try to plan your meals ahead of time so that you know whats in whatever your trying to eat and try to watch your weight. alot of times weight can be a precursor to it.
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I used to have bright blonde hair, just lately thanks to the hairspray I use my hair is more brown than blonde. I'm going to start using sheer blonde hairspray since it sprays on clear without changing the color more, but I'm wondering how I could get my blonde hair back? I heard sunlight was good for it, so is there any hair product I could use that would attract sunlight? It doesn't even have to be a hair products as long as t doesn't damage my hair. (link)
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chekc out more of the sheer blonde products that john freda has?? theres ones that came help brighten your existing blonde.
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In a couple of months I will be going to camp, and last year, I forgot my hair products, and my hair was so frizzy it was embarrassing. I'm already getting a head start buying lots of hair products to prevent the disaster from last time. I want a curl lotion to put in my hair and I'm trying to decide between two of them, but I can only buy one and I've never tried either so I don't know which would be the best buy. There's the one by Marc Anthony called strictly curls that says is used in salons, and there is also curls up. Curls up has really good reviews, but the other hasn't been out very long, so I didn't find that many reviews. I would like advice from someone who has tried both products. My hair is extreme in all of these: long, thick, and frizzy. Which would do best for my hair? (link)
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i havent tried it but if you have long thick hair, then maybe before you go to camp you can go get your hair cut and tell them you want them to "texturize" it. this will cut down on the thickness of your hair a bit and help make it more manageable. if you have thick hair the word "texturize" when you go to a salon should be in your vocabulary already! hehehe (i have thick hair too) or just get it cut in a style just for camp that will help make it easier to deal with while your out there. maybe something short and easy, like an A line cut? something a little Victoria beckham?? google her image and youll see what im talking about. if your just not sure about the products then think about maybe cutting it in a style that would make it easier to deal with while your at camp. hair grows back, you'll get your long locks back in no time.
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I had been married for 28 years. I have two grown-up kids. I leave with my husband under the same roof, but we are no husband and wife for almost 10 years. I never been happy in my marriage and when it comes to sex, I always went through the motions as it is my duty. My husband never satisfied me sexually.
I always been a woman that men liked and wanted to be regardless I was married. I never cheated on my husband.
Recently there are three men who are attracted to me (colleagues). One was asking me, if I’m still with my husband, second one was talking to me and making sexual comments during the party and asking if I’m married and the 3rd one is calling me his girlfriend, every time he sees me, he hugs and kiss). All these men are married.
Every time they see me they have a long eye contact and smile and enjoy talking with me, but none was making a move or asking me out. O believe it because I’m married.
I don’t know what these signs mean from those men, but I think If I meet the right men who will give me all the things I missed in my married life, I’ll say yes.
Can anyone explain to me the signs and tell me what you will do in my position.
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First of all, i think if your in a loveless marriage you need to break it off and move out. theres no sense in continuing to live day to day/moment to moment in that fashion and once your moved out youll see how much easier and freer you feel.
secondly, going for married men weather you or them are married is just a bad idea. You will mean nothing to them once they have had you and youll be most likely left feeling used for a quick bang or a booty call if they feel they can call on you to do it whenever they feel the need all while convincing you that they are just "soo unhappy in their marriage" but "just cant leave right now".
A person needs to close on door before they open another when it comes to marriage so no messing with anyone until theres divorce papers in process and signed.
this is all what i would do and how i would handle it. Being civil to these men is ok but you should probably draw a line in the sand with them and let them know that you "appreciate" that they care for you but "theres no need to be addressing you as a girlfriend because your both married"
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My boyfriend who is 22, had a different girlfriend about a month ago. I'm 20. I found a condom wrapper in his closet. The lube was still slippery, and I confronted him about it. He said that it was from when he was still with his Ex-girlfriend from a month ago. How long does it take for lube in a Trojan condom wrapper to dry? Is it possible that those specific Trojan condoms can take a month to dry up? (link)
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yeah i dont think hes cheating. i DO think he needs to clean his room though and NOT have reminders of his ex such as old condom wrappers laying around! lol.
your fine. the lube in those things last FOREVER
; )
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My wife and I have been married for 2 years. I have recently noticed 3 red flags and don't know how to approach the subject without accusing her of anything.
1) She has become very protective of her phone. She brings it everywhere (when she used to leave it everywhere), and even flips the screen away from me if it's sitting on the table. She is texting somebody (I know it's a much older coworker), and will angle the phone away from me so I can't see anything.
2) She turned off "Find my Friends." We used it moreso so I don't text her "where are you" if I can see she's on her way home from work.
3) She's been having ever-frequent work happy hours. She used to have about 1 per month, but she has had a total of 8 this month and they usually go later than normal.
My problem with everything is nothing has changed at home. She's still very friendly to me, initiate's kisses or "I Love You's," and other things. My feeling is that if something were going on, she wouldn't be acting normal at home.
I want to bring it up with her, but don't know how without making her mad or think I don't trust her. However I've been losing sleep over it and am terrified that this is a major issue. Any help would be great. (link)
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well its good that shes still telling you she loves you and whatnot. What you might want to do is right in those moments where your seeing her turn her screen away or act like shes trying to conceal something from you while your trying to do something with her, just treat her like her being on the phone is getting in the way of the two of you spending time together and your just curious as to whats going on. shes your WIFE not your girlfriend and you have the right inquire about her activities. ESPECIALLY if they come off as suspicious. Remind her that you both took vows to SHARE your lives together and thats what your supposed to be doing not hiding things.
If she gets mad at you when you simply (AND CALMLY) ask her "hey what are you doing on your phone again im trying to spend time with you??" then something IS up and i would start cutting forcing her to let you either see the phone or explain herself.
In my eyes, your the man, you wear the pants in the relationship and its OK for you to take some initiative here and ask your woman to explain herself if you think shes acting "off" whatever you do though STAY calm no matter how angry she gets when you bring this stuff up, woman are emotional creatures and feed of other peoples anger but as long as you stay totally calm and collected and think through what your going to say before you say it, youll be fine.
lets go through a situation where shes acting off ok?
your sitting somewhere eating together and shes hiding her phone screen and on her phone the whole time
you: Ummm who are you talking to on there? i thought we're trying to spend some nice time together and eat and it seems liek your somewhere else right now??
her: (no matter what she says here even if its snarky or mean stay calm)
you:well actions speak louder then words and what it looks like is your not acting very trustworthy right now, i just wanna know who your talking to on there all the time.
her: why do you care?
you:well it looks like your trying to hide something from me who are you talking to?
her: (something like "im not hiding anything idk what your talking")
you:well if you have nothing to hide then you can tell me then huh?? or get her to let you SEE the phone so you can look through it.
NOW, if you pay for both your and her phone then threaten to cut the phone service off if she continues to act like this and refuses to explain herself. Try remember what cards you to play here and play them but in a nice way.
whatever happens throughout this though its not going to help to get angry or loud with her. Try just staying calm, and quiet so she feels your listening to what she has to say.
men dont realize they can also give woman the silent treatment just as easily as they can but it effect them MUCH more emotionally. If things get serious enough you can try that and when you do talk say as little as possible and when she asks whats wrong just say, "nothing i just wanna know who your constantly talking to on there thats it" remind her that she can put an end to all this right now if she just explains herself and everything can go back to normal.
good luck
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So I've been having dreams about my boyfriend and this same guy that I swear I've never met. But this one dream I had last night held more meaning, but I don't know exactly what it meant.
So I was on this dark wooden dock thing. And this woman with black hair walked up to me, handing me a light blue sweater (I looooooove sweaters. I stared at it in pure awe as I smiled. And she said something like, "He bought this for you." Then she disappeared and I walked into this building. I walked into one of the rooms, and I saw the guy that I've been having CONSTANT dreams about there. Then I looked into the room beside this one, and I saw my boyfriend with his old hair watching TV. He looked over at me and smiled. I looked sad, holding up the light blue sweater, then slowly turned away. Suddenly I was in a lime green car, and I felt my close friend's voice say, "You gotta tell him."
When the woman and my friend say "him"... I don't understand if they're talking about my boyfriend or the guy I've been seeing in 95% of my dreams...? HELP! (link)
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ok dreams are usually VERY symbolic, and its usually your subconscious trying to tell you something in the only ways it knows how so rewind back into the dream and think about it.
lets go through this and break it down a bit in a way you might be able to make sense of:
idk what it was about the woman that gave you the sweater or why you saw her but the dream started out sweet because someone gave you something you really loved which in itself could mean something special. The "he" could have been your boyfriend cause why else would a stranger buy you something they think they know you love and then why would your boyfriend then smile at you when you walked into the room and showed him the sweater?
the fact that you walked into a building and then into a room could symbolize your heart and all the different deep feelings and thoughts you have and you walked into the one that represents love and caring from what it sounds like. Also (and heres the kicker because you said it yourself) you walked into another room after you saw the man you didnt know only to see you CURRENT love which was in a room that was CONNECTED to that first room see?
ok and then when you were in the lime green car was the car going fast? or when you see a lime green car what does that say to you? speed? and you were IN the car so maybe you were feeling like this was all moving way too fast for you? or was the car parked and not moving at all??
REALLY think back and try to think about what each and every important part of the dream could have meant because you have the answers.
your friends voice telling you to tell him might have been your mind trying to tell you to tell your BOYFRIEND something that your feeling about something. maybe theres some things you wanna talk to him about but havnt?
good luck.
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