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Loveless marriage
I had been married for 28 years. I have two grown-up kids. I leave with my husband under the same roof, but we are no husband and wife for almost 10 years. I never been happy in my marriage and when it comes to sex, I always went through the motions as it is my duty. My husband never satisfied me sexually.
I always been a woman that men liked and wanted to be regardless I was married. I never cheated on my husband.
Recently there are three men who are attracted to me (colleagues). One was asking me, if I’m still with my husband, second one was talking to me and making sexual comments during the party and asking if I’m married and the 3rd one is calling me his girlfriend, every time he sees me, he hugs and kiss). All these men are married.
Every time they see me they have a long eye contact and smile and enjoy talking with me, but none was making a move or asking me out. O believe it because I’m married.
I don’t know what these signs mean from those men, but I think If I meet the right men who will give me all the things I missed in my married life, I’ll say yes.
Can anyone explain to me the signs and tell me what you will do in my position.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yes its not enough. Coming from me love and respect should always come together. Men treat many women me for example like pets. Are you that kind of woman? They enjoy talking to me, are extra nice but act to me as if am senseless or a baby. Some women are treated like this. If they look attractive to men but would they make you a good husband if they bother to date you. Please be understanding. The world is on your husband's neck. It is not easy to find love and happiness.
Give in more love. Bring out the woman in you like I did. Though am not encouraging hard drugs because they destroy your mind but find the best ones for you.
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First of all, i think if your in a loveless marriage you need to break it off and move out. theres no sense in continuing to live day to day/moment to moment in that fashion and once your moved out youll see how much easier and freer you feel.
secondly, going for married men weather you or them are married is just a bad idea. You will mean nothing to them once they have had you and youll be most likely left feeling used for a quick bang or a booty call if they feel they can call on you to do it whenever they feel the need all while convincing you that they are just "soo unhappy in their marriage" but "just cant leave right now".
A person needs to close on door before they open another when it comes to marriage so no messing with anyone until theres divorce papers in process and signed.
this is all what i would do and how i would handle it. Being civil to these men is ok but you should probably draw a line in the sand with them and let them know that you "appreciate" that they care for you but "theres no need to be addressing you as a girlfriend because your both married"
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You want what all people want, love and some life in your life! Assuming you feel there is no hope for your marriage, my advice would be to get a divorce. Seek out the advice of your best female friends. Do not complicate your life with married men. You sound like a generally emotionally healthy woman and in time, I trust you will find someone who deserves your trust and attention. Do not be surprised if you encounter some disappointment as that is part and parcel of life. But be true to yourself and especially be patient with yourself. There is someone who will love and respect you and with whom you will flourish.
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I was in your position until 7 1/2 years ago when I left my ex. Actually mine was even worse, as he also was verbally abusive the entire marriage. He never admitted he had no love for me til a friend who used to be a counselor came to know of my situation and asked him point blank if he was in love with me, and after dodging answering, finally admitted he'd never been in love with me. On top of that, we were not sexually matched at all. We experienced what is called new relationship energy which tricks many into believing there is sexual chemistry when its nothing more than the excitement of something new or someone new. So both he and I were disappointed in each other. It wasn't til late in marriage when he suggested we try out a swing club that I finally came to understand what was going on. I found plenty of chemistry with other guys sexually. It wasn't different techniques or knowledge or experience that the other men had, that part was all the same but the pheremone connection was missing. Our pheremones differed so much that we would never be sexually attracted ever and you can't change your hormones. Meanwhile, now that I knew what I was missing, I did not want to remain married. I had many guys who were crazy about me but they were all married. I would never be more than the fling on the side. Besides, mental illnes if he wasn't willing to admit he had the probjust humored me by seeing Dr. Dr said there wasn't any hope of his improving or any change for the better with or without treatment and I asked myself if I could face more of the same that I had on a day by day basis, when asking myself if I could do that another 10 years or more, I cried. Once divorced, I put up a dating site. Made it clear, no married men looking to cheat. They lied to meet me. Then told the truth that they were marriedd in of all things "A loveless marriage" like I had been. I suggested they leave then. Most men said, "I could never leave. I love her as she's my best friend. We just dont have a sex life." My answer, 'if she's okay with no sex rest of marriage, ask if she's okay with allowing you to have a sex partner on the side, get her permission like an open marriage, then its not cheating. They couldn't do it and I have my own principles I live by where I learned in swinging, you get the okay or permission from the spouse first, no permission of her knowledge of, then no sex. Its okay if anyone else wants to go that way. But I suggest you think hard on that. If these men have no sex whatsoever in their marriage and their wives are their best friends and they deeply love her, you will never get that emotional connection and friendship part with those kinds of men. If they are looking for just sex, then that's all you will be, their sex partner. I'm not saying you have to marry again if you leave hubby, but when single, just choose what types of men you see. Maybe at first, you'll overindulge in lots of sexual exploits to make up for what you missed. In the end, I found I still wanted a man who could be my best friend and my sexual equal. I did find that eventually. Been together 6 yrs this summer.
Your guess that you aren't being asked out by married men is due to you being currently married. If a guy is going to cheat on his wife, he'll do so with whomever he can convince, whether she's married or not. Guys are not 'selective' cheaters. Other than they have to find the other woman attractive sexually, thats the only selectiveness to the process.
If I were you, I wouldn't consider any of these men seriously. You have to work with them so if you did get involved and the wife found out and theres a big fight, you'd have to still work with him even if her can no longer be with you and thats gonna be way uncomfortable.
Look at it at least this way, the fact that these guys show an interest in you, you can take that as simply a sign to you from the fates that you are still a desireable woman and can easily find happiness and fulfillment with another guy wether you remain married, stay single or remarry. It's just a matter of what your own principles and conscience will allow you to do.
My motto is: It is better to find one man who can meet your needs for both best friend/emotional needs and for the sexual needs, instead of having relationships with two men so you can get both needs met. Good luck.
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