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OK me again?i like argue with people over the "N" word.especially african american men.They feel the word is alright and i feel it sn't because of it's history.I feel the word should be erased completely because it holds us back.I don't think there should be any double standard on the word becaus it's worng for a white man as well as a black man to use it.So I just want us to understand things on a higher level.So all i am asking is your opinion. Thanks!

I know what you are saying..and i agree..however no matter what you do there will always be deragatory slurs for all groups of people that will be around forever..thats the way it is..although its sad

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Okay, I'm 17/m and have a beautiful girlfriend that I've even promised to merry(sp?). Anyways, I have a friend that I was talking to, 15/f, and we got into a discussion. This discussion was about sex, we were talking and she asked me what I was thinking about. This was kind of weird because she usually can assume what it is. She kept wanting to know and then she asked me to email her my fantasies that I have about her. I hate to say this but I do have fantasies about her as well as my gf and sometimes all three of us. I know most of you think thats sick but were all young and young people do stupid things. Anyways, I'm scared and don't know what to do. Should I give into temptation and reveal my fantasies or keep them to myself? Is this feeling unnatural? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooo confused!
Thank you.

P.S. Me and my gf are perfectly happy with each other. We never fight, we love each other to death. We've been going out for 1 year.

alright this is my opinion. you and your gf love each other...dont do anything to mess it up! its ok to have fantasies..everyone knows guys masturbate and watch porn and think about other people..not only their gf..but when it gets wrong is when the person acts on their fantasies..it would be inappropriate to tell this girl your fantasies and stuff..its ok to think about them while your masturbating...just keep in mind how hurt your gf would be if she found out through the grapevine the convos you two are having..even if she doesnt find out..its still wrong to be talking like that. i hope that all makes sense..so to recap..its ok to have fantasies in your head..just stay true to your gf definately

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hello, i have a question.. we all no that at the start of a relationship that its great, all the attention and excitment.. but wat about in 6 months time. ive goten my relationship to 7 months now, and most the affection has stopped the little things he used to do has stopped and i asked him if he was only geniunly happy to see me after he haddent seen me in a while.. he went quiet, then i felt bad for asking.. he said that were different, but he still felt the same. he said that he gets excited over fishing and camping, thats wat he loves the most. so is that giving me the hint that im not the right girl for him or is it just something else..how do i fix this situation? i dont no where hes coming from. please help im so confused.
thankyou

hey its completely normal for a relationship to mature. it doesnt mean your relationship is dead or that you should break up..but think about it..the constant affection and cuteness in the beginning isnt there after a few months all the time like it was..and thats normal. look at ur parents..they arent all lovey dovey probably.
my suggestion is to give each other more space..on a friday night go hang out with your girlfriendds while he plays video games with the guys or goes fishing..
do more activities together..go more places..and the affection and love is stil there..but in a different way. i hope this makes sensse..keep in touch about how it all goes..ive been with my bf for almost a year now..yeah we have had our ups and downs..and a little break inbetween..but i have come to learn that after almost a year..of course it wont be like it was in the first month or two...its normal and im still very happy :)
there are cute moments still of course..but you gota work to keep it going..give each other space..do more activities like fishing for example together..and see how things go

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My boyfriend went to a party and did body shots with another girl. This was the first time he drank any alcohol, and he got really drunk and said he would'nt have done it otherwise. He was the one who told me as soon as it happened. Should I be mad at him or should I forgive him?

i would forgive him..but let it know you werent happy about it. ive seen so many good relationships get messed up because one person drinks..i dont want you to sound controlling but maybe you should talk to him about making a promise to not drink..or not drink too much, especially when you two arent together. this way trouble like this is avoided

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i no you guys r prolly sick of these questions but please bare with me.
im 13/f,and me & my bf have been together for almost 4 months.although u may think im too young,were madly in love with each other.
i want to do something EXTREMLY special that he will never forget for valentines day.
please help.
also i cant spend more than 20 dollars?
thanks a ton.

with 20$ you are pretty limited in options..especially if you want to make it really special. do you live where its warm right now? if you do..a romantic picnic somewhere nice like in a park pr by a lake would be o cute..mucis playing..a blanket to lay on and gaze at the stars would be really cute.
you can buy him a cute bear with a love letter..a scrapbook of pictures ais always an option and wont cost money..you can even write in your favorite memories together..like "remember when..."
make him a candlelit dinner and just cuddle up on the couch and watch movies.

i hope this helped!

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im a virgin but me n mi boyfriend want 2 go all the way, but im kinda holdin dat off rite now bcause im nervous n i dunno...he said he wanted to finger me and quote "make love" to me but i dont know how that'll feel plus i would be super tight so wouldn't that hurt...i have never made a question like that so public, i feel comfortable around u guys tho thankz
i\'d also like some guys to reply to..ones who have had experience already. but girls too.

hey dont do anythign unless you know your completely ready and ur not nervous. i can talk to you more about personal stuff if you IM me on aim..my sn is eatapasty

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16/f
okayy so my boyfriend was going through well still is going through a ton of stuff and i was talking on the phone with him and i started yelling about this thing that happened in the morning (it wasn't my fault at all and i wasn't yelling at him i was just had so much emotion that i was yelling) well he got mad and hung up on me then texted me saying that he had too much stuff going on right now n we needed to take a break. how am i supposed to get him back? like i really want to talk to him and i've texted him a couple times and he has responded but i don't know if he's going to take me back. i have a feeling that he did it because of everything he's dealing with but i'm scared i'm gonna lose him forever =/ any thing i can do thats gonna remind him of me without like talking to him.. suggestionss please!!!

Hey i went through something kind of like this in a way. The stress of everrything is too much for him..so for now a relationship might be too much for him on top of everything else. I knowww it doesnt make sense..but my bf and i were about for a couple months before we got back together.
At first i took it reallly bad..but then I came to the conclusion that its my senior year and i have to live my life. So i hung out with friends more...and i even dated a little bit. When he got wind of this..he got jealous..and didnt want to lose me. He realized this was it..i could have started a new relationship..it was like a reality check for him..and we worked it out and we are back together :)
Im NOT saying to use some poor guy to get ur guy back..thats not what i did at all..me and him were going in differrent directions ..i didnt think we would get back together anytime soon.
So to sum that all up:
(1) Hang out with friends
(2) If a guy you like happens to show interest in you..hang out with him! Date him a little..you might end up reeally likinbg someone else you never know..and if your guy really wants to be with you that much..he will get his crap together.

I know how frustrated you must feel..you want to help him with everything hes going through..but you just have to accept that there is nothing else you can do. You have to let him work out what he needs to.

i hope it works out for you like it worked out for me :)

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hey! i have a really big problem. so i dated this guy jake over a year ago now for almost 2 months. he dated thisgirl i knew and then they broke up after 2 years and me n him dated. which was quite crazy. anyways, we ended up breaking up bcz he cheated on me with her and they got back 2gether n have been on n off for almost a year. well, now he is dating sum other girl that idont know n the other day i messaged him on myspace, i havent talked 2 him since last year n i asked him for directions 2 get this oneplace we went 2 last year when we dated. he messaged back sayin he has nothing againts me n he knows he did some bogus shit n to give him a call ormessage when we wanna hangout for old times sake... so idont know if im taking this too overboard but he was my first realll bf that i reallylikedn my friend's birthday is coming up this weekend, and he knew her, thats how we met n began dating bcz his x was friends with my best friend n because of allthis she hated us... well i really do have feelings 4 him n want to ask him 2 come by but is it 2 weird?? but thing is... he never said sorry... what should i write back? thank you somuch

hey i would kinda ease into this situation carefully. take him up on his offer to chill..take it as just friends..say yeah maybe it would be cool to chill sometime and plan to hang out or whatever..see if he opens up to you about flirting or whatever..what im saying is..dont get ahead of urself thinking you should flirt and ask him if he sees you two together. im sorry if his is confusing..its kinda late here haaha
if i was..just inbox me again

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I've always been a very conservative girl when it comes to sex. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend months ago & recently we broke up. He played games with me afterwards and me being lovestruck, gave in and we had sex. He broke it off again, then came crawling back and me being stupid, had sex with him again. I feel like a complete slut; he played me both times, and now I'm left with a bigger broken heart. I'm never that stupid, but something came over me and now I feel like he totally used me and I can't rid myself of this horrible feeling. I used to be a good girl with her head straight and now I'm so mad at myself. How can I get over this? (17/F)

aww im sorry he was so horrible to you..you have to forgive yourself. if you dont forgive yourself..you will be miserable. just forgive yourself..let it go because it is in the past..and take it as a learning experience..in the future you will be stronger and wiser. this was a horrible situation..but in the end you are now a stronger woman. take the good with the bad.
with time it will get easier i promise.
try not to think about it so much..get out with your friends and move on..and like i said..learn from your past because life is a learning experience.
i hope i helped a little bit

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So as of October 25 2006 I had known my bf a year and November 12 2006 will 6 months and I love him so much. I love him soooooo much and he means the world to me. He came into my life when I least expected it and he came in the way I least expected a guy to come to me. I had been going through issues after a hard a** break up with this jerk who was my 1st love who I had been with for a 1 year & almost month. He broke up with me and I so wanted to hurt him, anyways I prayed to go for him to bring someone around I dont care who it was jsut to help me cope through it all. 2 days lata after I prayed that my now bf showed up like I said in the least expected way. He was perfect but I didnt love him at first neither one of us expeted to fall in lvoe but it sorta happened. He is so damn amazing and I am so addicted to him, and he said he couldnt leave me ever if he wanted cause im his addiction like major. HE says he loves me and he has never felt this way for another girl like he does for me. He is like I have loved girls before but not like you. He says I am different then any girl he has met before. We have tlaked about marriage and kids a few time, but anyways let me get to the point I wanna know if this dude right here seems like mr right!! I am 17 and a senior in high school and him the same so its not like I am way young anymore and he anit my 1st love but you think he might be the one?

Hey i know exactly how you feel..he sounds awesome and its definately possible because i have a couple friends whose parents met in high school..however i must tell you..i just got out of a relationship with the sweetest guy ever..we talked about marriage and everything..and now he has another gf..so..things dont always turn out the way you think they will but hey you never know whats to come in the future.
dont rush into anything..if you're still going strong 3 years from now or somethin..yeah marriage definately seems right for you guys..just follow your heart..go to college and everything..and i hope everything works out! :)

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My first serious boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago. It was a blow to my heart and the big problem is, I can't move on. I still think about him everyday & get the urge to pour my heart out to him. I'm very involved in school, I have a job and many supportive friends, but nothing is helping. We're actually on good terms but he seems to be happier than ever. How do I let him go & finally be happy? I've never had to go through this. (18/F)

Yeah heartbreaks are no fun :( Im hurting right now myself but i find that when im in school..most of the time im ok! especially around friends if we hang out..and a big thing is working out! its proven that when you excercise your body releases endorphens that seriously make you happy!
sso my suggestions are to
-join a gym,sport,or club
-become social and active..be around friends
- get a job or a new one to give yourself some change

- my final suggestion is to let him know how you feel beforeeee you really try and move on. maybe he feels the same way? he might not though so be careful. let him know how you feel..but use your disgression..you know him best..you know how to talk to him..so give it a try because ...

love is worth fighting for! at least you can walk away saying you gave it a shot..and when you walk away..it will bring closure to you.

best of luck..it hurts

trust me i kno :(

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There is this guy D. cares about me does the little stuff for me...Was with him before, he has a child 1yr Lets call her L. (she's adorable btw)Mother and him never got married but he dumped me to make her happy. I let him go and said go do what you have to do i'm still here. I had fell in love with him the time i was with him. Now I have a new boyfriend because i didnt think he would ever want to be with me my boyfriends name is G.... G treats me how a girl should be treated leaving me notes in my purse, sending me texts asking how the most beautiful girl is doin, and picks out pumpkins adn bring me soup when im sick. I've been with G 3 months. and we i first started to date, D. wanted me back told all his friends told the baby's mom ECT. he still treats me the same (D) but I'm already madly in love with G... what should i do about this triangle?

(I'm 17 also)

g is your bf now..he sounds amazing! i would stay with him. d has a lot of baggage..its a messy situation with him..being that he has a child and the mother would be mad,etc. i would leave d in the past and stay with g.but thats just from my point of view. if your really in love with d..you got to go for him..because if you really love him..it will drive you crazy being without him.its up to you..but judging from the story i would say stay with g.

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i love doin lil romantic stuff for my girl. i give her notes, got her a necklice, gave her my jacket, kiss her on the cheek when she doesnt expect it, whats some more romantic stuff i can do for her. I love doin it, it makes me so happy to make her smile and laugh so if you got any good ideas id love it

wow thats one lucky girl..you sound very sweet!
keep doin what your doin..some other suggestions are

-make her dinner. something simple like a burger..but maybe cut it to make it look like a heart..make the ketchup in a heart shape,etc. maybe add candle light..my bf did this.it was wonderful

-poems,flowers,cuddling,drives,campfire under the stars,tell her shes beautiful


im sure you can think of some great things too..your definately being a great bf to her

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To start off, i'm going through a crazy ass time in high school, i'm sucidial, i'm overweight, i'm bi and i'm bi-polar which is all very fucking bad at the same time. now my grades are slipping, my relationships w/ my friends and family are going away, i'm starting getting i w/ drugs and booze, what should i do?

Honestly..picture your life in 10 years living the way you are now..being into the things you are now. think you will be successful? probably not..and i know everyone wants to make a better life for themselves..so you have to leave behind the bad stuff and work towards your future. sound corny? i know..but its true. im really overweight..and i was into stealing. i wasnt heading down such a good road. i even got caught and had to go to court. i got off easy..but i was lucky and i knew i had to stop. reality is reality..forget your friends..make new ones..or try and mend things with your old ones. i know a lot of people with major family problems but they stay strong because they WANT a better life so badly..thats what you have to do. people are different..some people dont accept that..i say forget those people.
stay strong..it will pay off :)

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so about 2 weeks ago i gave my bf a hangjob and i got cum on my finger but i wiped it off and washed it off only a lil and 40 mins later i masterbated but i got my period 4 days later. and now its after my period but i still kinda have cramps is that a sign of pregnancy?

hey definately dont be worried..even if you masturbated like 2 minutes after giving him and a handjob AND without washing your hands..you would still be ok. sperm die pretty quick when hitting air. by you waiting so long AND washing your hands...you definately have nothing at all to worry about trust me!
:)

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ok well..i was with my bf for about a year and a half..and he accused me of calling him all the time..and we broke up and got back together yesterday and then i called him last night to leave him a voice mail to say goodnight..not wanting him to pick up and he didn't so i just left him a voice mail (he was at work) and then he just got done telling me that he wants me to grow up and not to ever call him ever again and he doesn't want to talk to me ever again..and i just dont know what to do..i really love this guy and when we talked yesterday he really loved me to..but what do i do..i really need help! please help me!!

man thats realllly mean. your bf should WANT to hear from you and think its cute you want to talk and say good night. its one thing if he doesnt want to be on the phone as much..but he should at least want to talk for a little bit each night. the things he said were uncalled for and ridiculous..i think you should move on..you desserve better sweetheart

-melissa

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OK.im a 14 year old female, I have herd that after you have sex you bleed. well, how long do you bleed? and if you do start bleeding do you just ignore it and keep going or stop? if you do it with out a condom will i get pregant? I am sorry i don't know this stuff... my mom is strict and my boyfriend is probably going to be ready soon. I am right now but im not so sure about it.

hey there is nothing wrong with asking questions. you should definately wait until you are 100% ready..even if your bf is ready first. If he really cares about you..he will WANT you to be totally ready before having sex.
to answer your questions:
-yes you bleed. some do not. if you use tampons you might not bleed as much because it stretches out your hymen a little. it depends on how long you will bleed for. the safe thing to do is put a pad on if it seems like it isnt stopping. ive heard that girls bleed again (like 3 days after losing their virginity) when they have sex again. so the safest thing is to keep pads or something handy. you probably wont have to stop. you probably wont see the blood or anything until its over and he takes his penis out. you will probably see a little trickle of blood on the condom and if you wipe yourself you will probably see quite a bit of blood. dont panic..its fine..just put a pad on sweetheart.
if you do it without a condom..yes you could get pregnant! i have heard of girls who have done it without a condom and did not get pregnant..but that is taking a huge gamble. be safe everytime.

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OK well my boyfriend had promised his friend that he would go to her basketball game about 2 weeks before hand, and he told me he was going, and said i should go. So it was tonight and i was planning on going, since it was my best friend, also his friend. Well after school i made sure that he was going, and he said that he might, but he has alot of homework. He would have gone right after play practice. and soo i stayed after until 5:30 when the game started. i called him to see if he was going, and he didn't pick up so i left a message. He naver called back, or even text me! he totally blew me off and never went!! He still hasn't called me! i feel like crapt! what should i do??

being stood up is not cool. i would definately talk to him and tell him honesty is an important thing in a relationship for you. definately express your anger and if he keeps it up..kick him to the curb

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Hi um I was wondering what the difference is between a guyfriend and a boyfriend.
And what you do with a boyfriend? Haha like umm. What do u while ur their bf or gf

Thx please answer
!
Best wishes,
B.

Hey. There is a difference but not much. My bf is my best friend..which is awesome..but there is a difference between him and my guyfriends. My boyfriend is someone i love with all my heart..and my guyfriends are just friends who i have no feelings for in that way.
a bf is someone:
-you are faithful to (with guyfriends you can have a few ..but you dont have a few bfs lol)
-you have deep feelings for
-you kiss,etc ;)

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lately i have not been able to sleep and i have been waking up in the middle of the night..it never happens to me...my mom said it could be becasue i am worried a about somethine...but i told her i wasn't...the truth is i am...my dad past away when i was 13...ever since i have been very afraid to get close to anyone...and it been 3 years...aroudn christmas time i meet a guy named christian he is a few years younger than me..(14)...and he is my best friend..we tell each other everything...he keeps talking about how when he turns 16 he is running away...and he said i could come with...but i told him i would not go..iw ant to finish high school and go to college!!!!! i am afraid i am going to lose him..i think that si why i can't sleep at night!!!what should i do..please help!

If your friend is a real friend..he wont forget about you. He is only 14 so he still has 2 years..and who knows he might not follow through. dont live life scared. enjoy being friends with him and when the time comes and hes 16 and still wants to run away..you two will have become so close there is no way you would lose him. He would either keep in touch or not even run away because a lot of kids say they want to run away but never do. The best advice i can give you is to live your life with an open mind and dont be scared! if you let yourself get scared of losing someone, you will miss out on so much!

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