My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
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Last Update: February 17, 2009
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So i've known for a long time that my mom is an alchoholic, but she just resently got sent to jail for drinking and driving again... This really upsets me especially because i didn;t even have a chance to prepare myself for it. i don't live with her, so that's a plus, and I've always been really close to my dad. but there are just some things that you need a mom for.... SO yesterday i got a letter from her (from jail) and she is acting like everything is perfectly normal. SHould i write back? idk if im ready or not. and if i do should i confront her about her issue, now that she's in jail.... or should i just leave it alone and wonder? (link)
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I have no experience with this kind of problem, but can I suggest you right down everything that is bothering you. Once you have cleared your mind, consider writing her a letter asking those questions that you feel need to be sorted out now. Leave anything that can be dealt with for another time, or perhaps when she gets out of jail. Once you have written your letter, read it through and revise it if you feel it needs it. You then have the choice of whether or not to post it to her. Only you can decide when you are ready. I would also suggest talking to someone about how you feel, perhaps your Dad or a teacher.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. Good luck.
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16/f
ok so this has never happened to me... I'm not one to act like this AT ALL.
I have the most amazing boyfriend(17) ever. He is perfect for me in every way.
I think about him every second of the day and at night.. I stay up for 2-3 hours thinking about him. Whenever I don't see him for a few days I miss him so much I cry (sad, I know).
Sometimes he'll drive across town just to see me for 10 minutes then, 1 minute after he leaves he'll call me just to tell me he misses me.
Every time I'm with him everything seems to fit just right (like a puzzle, he says). We are so comfortable with eachother it's unreal. I feel like I've known him forever even though we've only been dating a few months.
(he told me he feels the same about me)
What's going on with me? I feel like I'm going crazy! (link)
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It sounds like love! You are in the throes of being wildly and ecstatically in love with this guy. These feelings will ease off as time goes by so make the most of them. Rejoice that you can be so happy. All the very best.
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a few years ago, my mom got really sick, she was in the hospital for about 6 months, But the problem is, now that my mom is okay most of the time, she wants to get out and do things. However, she cant drive (and Neither can I, I'm fifteen) so we always have to take the bus. But recently my mom found out that her legs are too weak to walk or get up stairs, and has to take a special car service. There is the option of her bringing me along on the ride for free, but the car has advertising on the side, and people can tell that my mom is on disability and stuff. And it embarrasses me. A lot of my friends parents have big houses and lots of money, and I feel embarrassed about a lot of things about my life like my apartment, and the fact that we dont have a car and I always have to ask my friends parents for rides home. they are all really nice people and know about the situation, but it has been really hard for me to open up to my friends about it. Only my very best friend knows the whole story. And that makes everything so much harder, because I dont have any one to talk to about it. and when I tell my mom that I'm embarrassed by things like the car service, she just gets upset. she has learned to deal with the fact that she needs help, but I havent, and I dont know how to become less embarrassed, and learn to deal with it myself. All I've ever wanted is a life that seems normal, and knowing that may never be possible, is very hard for me to come to terms with. I realize that hollywood etc, portrays a false idea of normal, and that everyone's idea of normal is differnet. I'm very confused. I wish that I could get over the embarrasment and go on with life, but I dont know if I ever will be able to. What would you do if you were in my situation? Thanks in advance for your help. (link)
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I am disabled and I need to use a wheelchair sometimes. I have never known my family to be embarrassed about pushing me around and very often we have a great laugh mucking about. However, I do feel highly embarrassed myself sometimes and I also feel that I am a burden to them at times. This is something that I keep inside because I do not want anyone else to know that that is how I feel. The grass always appears to be greener on the other side, but I can assure you that if you look a little closer, there is often a very dark cloud hanging around. We choose not to let other people suffer because of how we feel, and I think that you need to realise that no matter how embarrassed or uncomfortable you feel, your Mum may feel it also.
Feeling embarrassed is not the same as feeling sorry for yourself. You have your Mum around when a lot of people do not. She is there to give you a cuddle when you need it, a helping hand or even just a word of encouragement. I believe that you are capable of great love and so are the people around you. You will grow up with a greater compassion for differences. Your friends like you for you, not your apartment or your lifestyle. They have no problem with your Mum or your lack of transport, so hold your head up high, look people in the eye and smile. It works for me.
I wish you all the very best.
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13/f/usa
Hey, I had this friend when I was in 6th grade,(I was 11 at the time) Let's call her carrie,and her brother used to always come home drunk at night. Well, she used to tell me that she was really scared that her brother would do something to her. Well one night, when he came home drunk, he raped her, and the night she told me, she committed suicide. Well, now I'm in 8th grade and the memory of her and her story just sorta haunts me. my brother comes home drunk all the time now, and to make it worse, he has anger issues. well, now I'm really scared that he might rape me. Can you help me please? I'm like really paranoid. (link)
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I would very strongly suggest to you that you talk to your parents about how scared your brother makes you feel when he has had a drink. Did your parents know about your friend? You need to talk to someone about how it is affecting you now - sometimes it can years to get over such a tragic passing.
I hope I am not wrong, but I don't think that your brother would do to you as your friend had done to her. He obviously has problems that he needs to deal with but he should not be putting you or your parents at any risk. Can he be persuaded to seek help with his drinking problem?
You have the right to feel safe within your own home and you should be able to tell your parents how you are feeling right now. If they do not, or cannot, help you with your brother, please talk to another adult you trust. It could be a teacher or the preacher at your Church or even a grandparent. You should not have to deal with this alone at your age.
As an immediate solution, ask your Dad or Mum if you could have a lock fitted to your bedroom so that you can sleep safely at night. Explain to them why you feel you need one and they should be able to help. If they say no, put a chair against your door at night so that he will make a noise if he enters your room.
I sincerely hope that you find the help you need at home, and counselling to get you through those feelings you have about your friends passing. I wish you all the best.
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well idk i asked this kinda of before not really
well its differntt.
well on the outer of the lip things in the spot. theres this dark red line bump thing and now it made a hole with this werid thing? like blood kinda. and now its like splitting so the whole things going to be like a big hole with weird gooy blood that rarly drips.
what is this is there anything i can do to make it go away without going to the doctors?xox (link)
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Unfortunately, you may have to be brave and visit the doctor. You can ask to see a lady doctor and I can assure you that she will have plenty of experience with your kind of worry. It is very difficult to tell you what is wrong over the internet, you really need a professional to take a look and give you advice. It's not the answer you want to hear but it is a truthful answer. Good luck.
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im 16 and am a male, and about a week and a half ago i fingered my girlfriend. once i finished i moved my shorts and got a smidge of pre cum on my finger. i helped her pull her pants up and touched her clitoris ( the top bit of her vagina) for about 2 seconds. i didnt go near the opening at all. what are the chances of her getting pregant. (link)
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I think that the chances of her getting pregnant are very slim to almost zero. Always be careful in the future though because it only takes one active sperm to fertilise an egg. I suggest that you use a condom during any sexual activity to minimise the risk of pregnancy. Hope this helps.
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Hey everyone. Well i just turned 13 and i reallyyy want a belly button peircing.My mom has already siad maybe but my dad is soo not into it!Can anyone think of anything i could to get my mom and dad into letting me get it peirced. Ive also considered peircing it w/out them knowing, but they r kinda strict and im scared! I NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE!!!! thankx everyone!
♥Cami (link)
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Your parents will find out anyway if you go behind their backs and have a piercing without their consent. I can understand both sides of the argument having a daughter who is into piercings (ears/tummy/tongue... she is 19 now). You are still quite young and are still growing. Did you know that the piercing in the belly button will move and you will have to have it done again in a few years time? Why not wait until you are nearer 16 and can prove to your parents that you are mature enough to appreciate their concerns.
Ask them if you could have your ears pierced first. If you have them already, why not ask if you could have a second set of piercings in your ears.
Obviously, if you are that determined to have it done, nothing anyone can say will change your mind. Just be prepared for a big fallout if you ignore your parents wishes. That will then cause them to not trust you in future and that may cause even bigger problems.
I know that what I have written is not what you wanted to hear but I wish you all the best anyway.
Good luck.
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Well, my friend told me that nail polish if you drank enough would kill you. Please don't lecture me or anything....but, recently I have been just really sad and mad at the world and I feel like my world is crashing down. I drank about a third of the bottle about 30 minutes ago. Nothing has happened so far. I don't know what to do. I was talking to my bf at the moment I made the decision and he kept telling me please, no, don't do it. But I didn't listen and I did it. He was mad at me when I told him I did, and he's never been this mad at me before. He won't talk to me now. If I live, what should I do now? I still feel like theres nothing to live for, and what is worth living for, him, everyone keeps me away from him. Or will I even live? And I'm dead serious on this question. This is not a joke, so please give me serious answers, and no lectures, I've heard it all before. (link)
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I don't think you would have done much damage by drinking a small amount of nail polish. However, I am not medically trained and you should ask someone who is qualified to answer. Is there a number you could call like NHS Direct in England - 0845 46 47. They will be able to tell you if there would be damage to your insides.
Your actions are definitely a cry for help and there are people out there only too willing to help you through whatever it is that is making you feel suicidal. We have Childline in England also (freephone 0800 1111) and they are more than capable of talking you through your anxieties. Do you have something similar where you are?
I know that life can be a bitch sometimes and it seems like there are no answers to the pain we are feeling. Life does get better and when you become an adult and are in control of what you do, it is somehow easier to deal with whatever happens. When we are young it seems like there are no good days, only bad. That is when we need our friends and family around us to give us that quick hug that says they care.
I am not going to give you a lecture because it is not necessary. I think you just needed to air your emotions in the only way you knew how at this moment in time.
Please ask someone who is properly trained and can listen and help you overcome this. You are a valuable member of the human race and one day you will realise that living is the best way to get even with those demons lurking around at the moment. Have faith in yourself and listen to those people around you who love you. All the very best for a very long and pleasant life. Take care.
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im really sorry, this is a disturbing question. but, what do you do when you get diarrhea at school? (link)
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I would suggest going home, clean yourself up and take some medicine to clear it up. Don't go back to school until you no longer need to run to the bathroom. If it continues then you may need to see a doctor. Hope this helps.
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I'm 16 years old, and I'm a female.
Just recently I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, of whom I've been dating for close to a year. I don't regret it, but I know I need to go on the pill because we're going to have sex often. My mother and eldest sister always reassure me that I need to tell them when I start having sex so we can go to the doctors to put me on the pill.
Problem? He's 24 years old. My parents are completely fine with me dating him, he's a close family friend, and I've known him since I was very very young. He means more then anything to me, and y'all are probably sitting there, like, "eww" but it's the truth.
My sister just told me the other day, "You know I'll take you to the doctors when you're ready, to.. you know, but you're ONLY twelve." It's because I'm the baby of the family, and to them I seem still very young.
I don't know how to ask, I'm so confused.
We've already decided not to have sex again until I actually go on the pill, just because of everything bad that could potentially happen if I were to get pregnant.
Thanks tons. [:
For even reading this!! (link)
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Mums are pretty intuitive about things like this. She may have already guessed something was brewing and wants you to be sensible about it.
It's not easy for Mums to accept that their daughters are growing up and having a sex life of their own, but we do get over it. You may want to say to her that you have discussed sex with your boyfriend and would like to know more about contraception and could she please help you out. You don't need to tell her you have already had sex, it's no-ones business but your own. She has already offered you help and you should take her up on it. However, if you still don't feel comfortable talking to her, please ask your sister as she has said so too. Again, if that doesn't appeal to you, ask your boyfriend to go with you to the doctors or the family planning clinic. He is as much a part of this as you are.
Be proud of the fact that you are making sensible choices regarding your welfare, but you need to also make sure you don't pick up any STDs etc, so use a condom as well. I know you have known him for a very long time and he may be willing to take a test to prove he is in the clear, but until that time protect yourself.
As for the "eww" factor - the age gap is okay. 8 years difference time-wise has nothing to do with maturity. Good luck.
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Has anybody here ever had a yeast infection? I'm afraid that I might... I'm 17 and I haven't ever experienced one. I have a very small, round bump on my vulva (imagine what a really round pimple feels like). It feels a little sore but I think that's because it started out as a little cut. Might it just be an infected cut? I don't want to do anything without being sure... and I absolutely am terrified of hospitals and I'm not too interested in telling parentals anyway. So... advice? Thoughts? (link)
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If you are sure it is a yeast infection then pop down to the local pharmicist and ask for advice. They will be able to tell what cream to use or whether you need to see someone else. However, I suggest that you make yourself an appointment at the doctors just to be on the safe side. Your parents do not need to know and the doctor certainly won't tell them.
Yeast infections can be quite a common problem for lots of ladies, but they are easily cured with the right medication/cream. All the best.
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My girlfriend of 10 months recently broke up with me because of the way I treated her. She is already messing around with someone else. We were madly in love. How do I get her back? (link)
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If you treated her badly, why would she want to be with you? If you treated her like a princess perhaps she felt suffocated. The chances are she will not want to get back with you, and if that is the case, there is not a lot you can do about it.
Have you tried talking to her about how you treated her? Try sending her a letter explaining how you are feeling, but if she rejects it you will have to accept the truth and move on.
I wish you well.
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K this is a serious question but my periods ALWAYS beeen messed up but like 2 monthes ago i slept with this guy and he asked me if i was on birth controll and i said no .. and he didnt wear a condom .. but he pulled out in time .. and he said he even did .. but i havnt yet got my period and im a little freaked out weather im pregnant or not .. and I dont have money to buy a pregnancy test ? .. do you think im pregnant just from those sings and is it possible that i could be pregnant if he pulled out but he still wasnt wearing a condom ??? please help me ASAP???? (link)
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The chances of you being pregnant are very high under the circumstances. You should always use a condom, not only to protect against pregnancy but also against STDs etc. You really need to do a pregnancy test just to be sure. I suggest you go to the Family Planning Clinic or Planned Pregnancy Clinic. They will be the best people to advise you on contraception and whether or not you are pregnant. Please don't take chances with your health regardless of whether or not the guy says he is okay. Good luck.
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When you go to see what size bra you should wear, do they measure you with your shirt off and everything? (link)
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In my experience the assistant measures me with a bra on and no top. It is done in the privacy of a cubicle so no-one else can see. They should be trained professionals who do this many times every day. Hope that helps.
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I'm soory this is so long but I'm in desprate need of help here -
I i'm 17 f - i work as a bank teller - and totally love my job - i came home from college for the weekend - and i was supposed to hang out with this kid i knew from high school- he called and canceled on me so i decided that i would go visit my friends at work for a little bit- when i got there - someone had called in sick and they asked me if i would stay - since i no longer had plans - i quicky agreed - seeing as how college is expenisve and i could use the extra cash- when i got home my parents freaked on me - saying how i only came home to work (not true ) and they said that i had lied to them about my enitre plans for the day - that i never had the intention of meeting this kid ( which i did - but only because they are obsessed with him! i'm not even good friends with him - but they wanted me to make the plans so i did - to make them happy ) anyway - long story short - they're pissed at me for working and i dont know what to do- i hate having them mad at me even though i feel like i didnt do anything wrong ... so what can i do to make things better at home? (link)
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It seems strange to me that they were angry at you for earning money to help with college fees. I wonder if they had something else planned with you and were angry they couldn't see it through. If they won't listen to reason I suggest you write them a note explaining what happened and why. It may be easier than trying to explain verbally if they will not listen to you. You could say that you were only doing what you thought was best with at the time. Leave the note with a small bunch of flowers where your Mum or Dad will see it. Tell them you love them and are sorry they are angry with you. Sometimes the best intentions go drastically wrong and there is nothing we can do about it except learn from it. I wish you good luck with this.
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ok so i just had sex for the first time about a week ago and well...it was a little rough. i mean like the guys likes to go really hard. but anyways. my question is...is it normal for the vaignal area to be like...tender and sore after sex? becuase like it hurts down there...is something wrong? (link)
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If a guy is rough he can cause abrasions, bruises and little cuts inside the vagina. As with all bruises etc., they do take a few days to heal. So the answer to your questions is yes. To help with the healing process try sitting in a warm bath filled with salty water - however, don't douche. It will start to ease within a couple of days, but refrain from intercourse until you are not sore any more. If you find that the soreness increases or you need to pee more and it hurts, see a doctor because you may have an infection like thrush or cystitis. In future, ask your guy to be a little gentler. If he cares for you he will oblige. All the best.
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When is it not appropriate to complain about disappointments to friends? (*First, none of my friends know how I'm feeling right now). All year I've been eager to surprise a friend on special occations. My gestures were never to get something out of it. I've been having fun along side. However my birthday is less then 5 days away. With all the other events I've been doing I forgot about my own birthday. Every year I try to do something special (usually a themed party). This year becaue I'm broke & short on time I wont be able to throw a party. I messaged a close friend of mine seeking some ideas; she has neglected to contact me back. No one has asked me what I was doing that day. I don't think those who matter to me realise that birthday is coming. My friends aren't ones to turn their backs, but suddenly I feel like I'm left in the cold. With scheduling priorities & going on vacation 2 days after my birthday,(*a special event that's for a friend) I feel as though my arms are tied behind my back. The friend that I'm taking on vacation just complained about being broke because of other people's birthday's & having out of town guests. Another friend said she feels bad for getting gifts because she can't afford to give presents (that was recently said. It kind of hurts, but I'm not someone to typically hold that against anyone...it's not the gifts, it's the thought I'm craving). So my issue I'm facing is that I want to speak out, I've been crying because I'm dreading Monday. Deep down I feel everyone is going to be busy working & doing their own thing. I was wanting to gather with a few friends at a local night club, but the friend I reached out for help (like I said) has choosen not to write back. What should I do? In my far fetched wishes; this year the only thing I want is a deep meaning full kiss from my best friend. That present alone will last me a life time. The far fetched one is to hope by some chance that I might be surprised...my friends know I desperately want to go to Halloween Horror Nights, but can't afford. However, I also know that my friends can't afford to get me (ontop of themselves) a ticket.
Any insight? (link)
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I really, really wish that I could say to you all your friends are planning to get together and surprise you on your birthday, but it sounds as though you put a lot more effort into them than the other way round. It would be lovely to think that they are gathering around a table and making plans for you but this is real life and very rarely does that happen.
You sound a very kind, deeply affectionate friend that truly would deserve the best. Maybe they all do have different issues surrounding their lives and have other plans on your birthday. You may have to accept that some of them have forgotten it is your birthday and some may genuinely lack the funds to buy you a present. Giving is the best feeling in the world and as long as you continue to give of yourself (not just your money) I firmly believe that what goes around comes around. One day you will get back what you reap.
What I suggest is that on your birthday accept all the good wishes coming your way and don't feel too bad about the lack of surprises or presents. Continue to enjoy the feelings you get from surprising your friends because that is worth more than money or gifts. Sometimes gestures like hugs and kisses are all that are needed to say I love you.
I wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I sincerely hope that you have a truly memorable day for the right reasons. All the best.
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do yeast infections go away on their own (link)
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Not as far as I am aware they don't. The doctor or pharmicist will be able to advise you on the right medication to get rid of a yeast infection. You could try drinking cranberry juice and using some live yoghurt on a tampon to help clear up the infection. Generally I find taking a tablet from the chemist the best course of action for me. Hope this helps.
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If a guy only puts the tip of his penis in a girl is she still a virgin?
Why do girls walk kind of weird after having sex for the first time?
Do you really bleed alot your first time having sex? (link)
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If a guy puts any part of his penis in a girl she is no longer a virgin. Some girls may walk differently because they may be a bit sore after having intercourse. Some girls may bleed a little, some a lot and some not at all. Everyone is an individual and every body reacts differently. Hope this answers your questions.
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My husband has woke up the last two nights wet from urination. He is embarrassed and worried. I am having trouble finding anything helpful. What could be causing something like this to happen? (link)
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As was suggested in the previous answer, the best course of action is to see a doctor. He may well have an infection which can be treated. Drinking too much and stress can also cause this type of problem. Good luck.
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