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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
my family is in debt about 40k. is this alot? im 14 and they dont think that there is any way to help. what can i do? we have never ever been like this, and because of it, its tearing apart the family
The Answer
40,000 can be quite a lot depending on your income and interest rates... not entirely unmanageable, but still quite a bit. Sadly there is not much you can do at this point but respectfully ask your parents to try and be rational about it and seek help.
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The Question
When i was 9 until i was 11 i was molested by my brother, who was in high school at the time. I come from an upper class family with overly protective parents so it is one of those things nobody ever thought could have happened to me.
the molestation went so far some would call it rape, i'm not sure. He would make me do things to him, and him to me, and if i said no he would make me feel ashamed for "not liking it" he made me feel discusting for it also, and would threaten me if i told. i sometimes would cry when he did this, and he made me have "sex talks" with him. finally one day i told him i didnt want to do this again, i was so scared i was bawling and shaking. he stopped because he thought i was going to tell, but he had ways of keeping me quiet.
now i'm 16, almost 17, and this experience haunts me. I have issues with my boyfriend, have horrible horrible nightmares, i've acted out been suicidal... that's just the surface of the problem really.
Everybody says, "tell somebody" but nobody understands. Because of this i've spent alot of my life acting out and looking for attention, my brother is a nice funny guy who everybody loves. Not alot of people have seen his darker side. Nobody would believe me, and i say that with 100% certainty. My family would turn on me and it would make life even more miserable.
he's so good at pretending it never happened, sometimes i wonder if he has any remorse at all.
My brother is now almost graduated from college and is not home very often, which is good for me. I am not really afraid of him anymore, I am, but I talk to him sometimes and do normal brother-sister stuff. i do not think he has done this to anybody else, and i've kept a close eye on it.
He's moved on with his life, but I am deteriorating. I can't explain everythign that has happened through this, but i've tried everything to help me through this and nothing works. I need somebody to talk to about this, someody who I can e-mail (rather IM) and help me. I cannot seek professional help because I am underage and don't have much money. I need somebody to talk to because I am tired of being sick like this. So please respond if you would be willing to help me
and please, no twelve year old girls or people who only want to talk once or twice. I really appreciate that you care, but you really can't help me. nd I understand if you do not have the time or experience to understand what I am talking about and decide not to respond. I just need to heal from this
The Answer
I don't mean to be negative at a time when you really need to hear something positive, but this might just not be the best resource for you hun.
Our columnists are great and wonderful people, but they are by and large, well meaning young teens who care, but can be of limited help.
I'd like to suggest this instead, it's a toll free number that you can call and speak to someone who DOES understand, who has been trained to help and might have gone through something similar to you. They are volunteers, so you'll just be talking to another person, no pressure, but a much more capable person than you might find here. They wont pressure you to 'tell' and it is completely anonymous.
USA Rape, Abuse and Incest Hotline:
1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
They also have a LIVE online chat with counselors too, right here: http://www.rainn.org/ohl-bridge.php
Please consider using these resources. Reaching out is a huge step, so make sure you are reaching out to people who can really be good to you, not someone who will care, but add to your frustration and confusion.
If you don't live in the USA drop me a line. I'd be happy to find a resource you can access.
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The Question
My boyfriend and I haven't even been going out for a month, but I want to get past this situation.
I was at his house the other day, and his sister started talking about his ex girlfriend, who is apparently calling their house and his cell phone all the time and sending him pictures of her on his phone telling him how much she wants him back. And I guess he told her that he's already taken and what not, but yesterday we were together and I saw that he was texting her. It's just really hard to trust him because I don't know him all that entirely well yet, I don't really know what to think. And I don't REALLY want to bring it up and have him think that I'm a jealous freak so early into the relationship. He is a really sweet guy, the nicest boyfriend I've had by far, I just don't want to think all that about him and then have him screw me over.
So what do you think I should do?
The Answer
Take a deep breath and ask him about the situation with his ex.
This is what you can say "I really like you, but your ex obessesively calling you is making me nervous. I don't want to pry, but could you bring up to speed on what is going on with her? I promise not to flip out and get jealous. It would just make me feel better if we could talk about these sort of things honestly."
At a certain point in the relationship (an early point) it's a good and mature idea to get a bit of romantic history from your partner. Having an idea about how they have behaved in the past will prepare you for how they might behave with you.
Listen closely to what he will tell you about her and the way he is dealing with her now. You don't need to pry very much, just pay attention to what he does say, not what you wish he would say.
If you decide you can trust him after this conversation, take a deep breath, and ignore your doubts until you have reasons to doubt.
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The Question
How do people actually die from Anorexia? I'm recently in recovery & I think I'm doing okay. Right now I'm approximately 5'7 & 116-118 lbs. I think I'm doing better. I eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, dinner, & another snack before I go to bed. I still avoid fatty foods though, but other than that I eat pretty healthy. I eat fruits, veggies, crackers, carbs, meats, etc. I probably take in approximately anywhere from 1400-1500 calories a day. Is this okay for me?? I'm trying to gain a bit of weight but it just isn't easy. I'm also waiting to get my period back. Its upsetting because a lot of people don't know what they're talking about & think that you can just die. Wouldn't I have to stop eating for that to happen?? I'm following up with doctors also & my family & friends are helping me through this. Any ideas/opinions?? Thanks!!
The Answer
Anorexia can cause death, but you tend not to die of starvation. Other things claim you first.
Loss of muscle mass decreases the effectiness of your heart. Your heart literally shrinks, and begins to fail. The majority of deaths in anorexic patients are caused by some sort of heart complication.
You loose bone mass, or if you are a teen, never develope proper bone mass. This will never repair or heal. You bones will be weakened for the rest of your life.
Of course those aren't the only problems. Your whole system begins to shut down. Your immune system is weakened, leaving you easy prey to any number of viruses.
Between 5% and 20% of people who develop anorexia eventually die from it.
Congratulations on starting the healing, stick with it! The person you really should be talking to about your calorie intake is a doctor. Family and friends are great, but doctors are the ones with actual knowledge. My uneducated opinion is that you are still not eating enough and you are still underweight (I think you already know that though.) Get a professionals opinion.
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The Question
Let me start off by saying that I have wonderfull boyfrind.I am currently 17 and I am a girl.Michael, he is my soul mate.My mother doesnt like him. She has valid reasons but I love him nad he treats my with respect and loves me. I dont belive that theres nothing that he wouldnt do for me.
I am currently in Virginia. I moved here in August. he is in Virginia. Our plan is for him to come get me on my 18th birthday and for us to get married. I wont be able to see him until next Novenber. I miss him terrribly.
What should I do? I mean my mother would freak if she found out that I was with him again and I cant talk to him on the house phone and I am like the only one in the universe that doesnt have a cell phone.So, should I stay with him and move or should I stay here, in VA?
urs truly
Confuzzeled?
The Answer
I have to say that I really doubt you would ask this question, if you didn't you already know the answer.
You should NOT cut ties with your family, run away, and get married at 18 years old. It's a pretty dumb idea all around.
Mother's aren't always right, but they are rarely completely and utterly wrong. You say she has some 'valid reasons' to dislike him. Perhaps you should think a bit more on those valid reasons before you throw yourself into a committed lifetime with him and alienate all your friends and family who love you.
It's a dumb idea. Oh yes it's a romantic idea and I can see why you WANT to do it. I WANT a pet snow leopard, but no matter how much I want one and no matter how much I would just love it completely and utterly, it doesn't change the fact that it would be a very idea for the leopard and me.
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The Question
In a nutshell, I cannot connect to AIM
The Answer
I can't whistle.
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The Question
i am sick of hearing the word gay being tossed around so carelessly. "that song is so gay!" how does that make ANY sense? does that song like other songs of the same gender? am i missing something here..?
i want people to know that i am gay and i find it very offensive to hear people use gay instead of stupid. i am gay. does that make me stupid?
if you are jewish and someone said "that movie is so jewish", you would get offended because jewish does not mean stupid. this is the same exact scenario: a minority being discriminated.
so why do people do this, and how do i get them to stop? =(
The Answer
I find the best response is a blank stare and the comment "I wasn't aware that songs/haircuts/imamate objects had sexual preferences..."
Refuse to interpret in a word in the way they intended it. Interpreting the word correctly tends to make them feel stupid and foolish, without actually having to argue with them about semantics.
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The Question
My teacher is very annoying. One day, as soon as i came into the classroom, my teacher gave us cards and then she told us to go to the back of the room. If the card had a gold star, we would go into the front row. Anything without a star on it had to sit in the back. She said that the back row would get lower grades on their tests and they couldnt run (or vote ) for class presdient. So i got very mad. What should i do?
The Answer
Learn?
I cannot, nay I will not, believe your teacher is doing this for fun. It isn't fun for a teacher to have their students ticked off. It only makes their job harder.
She is making a point. She is trying to teach you something about the dynamics in a society where some people are disenfranchised for no good reason. Is this a world history class, a politics or civics class? You are there to learn something obviously. Don’t be so quick to write off your annoyance as her just being bitchy. It’s a lesson. If you can’t see the point for yourself, ask.
Maybe you stage a revolution, a protest, a take-over, a sit-in... that is what other people have done when they are unfairly denied rights...
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The Question
If you discovered that your drunken boyfriend had gotten a blowjob at a party from a stranger whose name he didn't even know, would you be bothered by this? I might add this was a couple of years ago, before we knew each other. He just admitted it to me and I've been weird about it ever since. I haven't even been able to talk to him. I can't get it off my mind. I've just totally lost respect for him for it. I realize people make mistakes but it's really bothering me. =/ He does regret it at least but still.
So..uh.. what's wrong with me? How can I stop holding this against him? Do I have a right to look down on him for this?
19/f
The Answer
No, you don't have any right to look down on him because of this.
Making a mistake as a teenager when it comes to sex and booze is about as normal as having brown hair. Unless this is part of a pattern of bad decisions and 'mistakes' you owe it too him to take a deep breath and let it go.
If this IS part of a pattern, then you need to seriously consider how much you do respect him, and your choice to be with him.
Like a lot of girls you might be a bit hung-up about the issue. You are scared and frightened by behavoir like that in someone you love. It doesn't line up with your values and it threatens your safety in the relationship.
Relax. Remind yourself that one druken night ages ago has no bearing on your relationship today. Sometimes the past can't be escaped, but it sounds to me like you both know this mistake can be left quietly behind you. It just isn't relevant anymore.
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The Question
I'm 17 years old. Male.
I recently got a job at Sears. I love it. This may sound weird, but I wear eyeliner. I guess I just like it. Anyways. When I wore it to work, my manager told me not to wear it anymore. The next day, I still wore it. He told me that he would make me leave if he saw me wearing eyeliner at work again. He said it isn't "business professional".
To me, this seems like it's prejudice. Women can wear it, but men can't? In the handbook, Sears claims to not discriminate based on gender, but I'm starting to think otherwise.
What should I do? I really want to wear it and express myself at work, but I also need this job.
The Answer
Sorry darling, as indignant and righteous as us young people tend to feel over these issues as of late, the courts are against you on this one...
Over and over again courts in the states have held that grooming and appearance standards that apply differently to women and men do not constitute unlawful discrimination. Women may be obligated to wear make-up, skirts or stockings, and men are not. Men may be obligated to keep their hair a certain length; women may not, or be expected to maintain a different length. Men can be obligated to wear ties and women not.
Because make-up and other appearance issues, unlike race, religion, or sexual orientation, are not immutable characteristics and can easily be changed by the employee they are expected to be.
Sears policy is lawful, non-discriminatory, standard of appearance that is part of the expectation of your job. You can either abide by it, ask for a transfer to a department where is does not apply, quit, or be fired.
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The Question
I was just wondering if you hand your head for a certain amount of time, could you die?
If so:
Does it hurt?
Does your head really explode?
The Answer
Yes, you could die, but it would probably take a day or two and you would die from a stroke or heart failure, not from your head exploding.
You might start to get nose bleeds, and you eyes could pop out of thier sockets... but your head would not explode.
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The Question
if you're a girl, how can you determine how big a boy's penis is without looking at it or feeling it?
The Answer
You could ask him.
Otherwise, you can't. Some myths will say you can look at the size of thier feet, hands, forearms, but those are all myths. It's all about genes that we can't see, so you'll either have to ask somebody, or not know.
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The Question
To kind of sum this up, I'm doing a school project and I'm creating a book about the relationship between a little girl and her dying grandfather. It's a childrens book, about 25 pages, 3-4 sentences a page, illustrations, etc. I've decided to donate about 5-10 copies to the clinic where this man goes (he has a disease that's killing him). My mom said I should probably get it copyrighted, just in case someone would be cruel enough to steal it. It's a really good book and we're actually hoping to get it published. In the mean time I think it is a good idea to get it copyrighted for safety reasons.
My question is how do I go about doing this? Who do I contact? Does it have to be published and a published has to copyright it? Do I contact someone and they do it, if so, who?
Pretty much, if you have ever had anything copyrighted, a website, a book, anything whatsoever.. who do I contact and how do I go about it.
I'm 17/f but my parents can help me do this if I'm too young or something.
Thanks in advance!
The Answer
Fundamentally, your work is already protected by copyright. You've produced it and you own it.
This excerpt is taken from the American Library of Congress, Copyright Office:
"Copyright is secured automatically when the work is created, and a work is â??createdâ?? when it is fixed in a copy or phonorecord for the first time. 'Copies' are material objects from which a work can be read or visually perceived either directly or with the aid of a machine or device, such as books, manuscripts, sheet music, film, videotape, or microfilm."
Frankly, there is simply NOT enough money in printed books for any publisher to bother stealing your book. It just doesn't happen. Individuals might try to misrepresent and say they produced your work, but that is very easy to block legally, even without registering.
The simplest way to prove that you created the work is to send a copy of it to yourself in the mail and do not open the sealed packaged. This will present proof, should you ever need it, that the work existed and was in your possession at a set date.
If you really want to register it with the government (and you live in the united states) most of your questions will be answered on this web page: http://www.copyright.gov/
To register your copyright will cost $45.
If you live in another country, youâ??ll need to contact the government office that deals with copyright registration.
*
I just feel the need to add this:
You CANNOT get attorney fees, damages, or sue for copyright infringement unless you register with the government. You'll still be able to block someone from claiming your work, but canâ??t sue them unless you are registered (even then, those damages are only good for like, a year after the date of registration and you have to prove that you have lost money somehow by them claiming your work as thier own.)
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The Question
To sum my situation up, last year I liked this new freshman and my friend Kirsten didn't AT FIRST. But, as usual, she began to think he was cute too once I talked about him a lot. After 2 months they started to "talk," but she told him that I liked him too, and that they should wait to go out until I went out with this guy that I was talking to. But, in fact, I wasn't talking to anyone, she just used that as an excuse. SO then she asked me if she could go out with him. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY? NO? What kind of friend would say no? So, they went out for about 8 months or so I'm not sure, and they just broke up after several issues occured, most of them dealing with her being a bad girlfriend. Me and the guy have always talked, and at one point during the summer I thought that he was going to cheat on Kirsten with me but I avoided it. Anyway, now we're just friendly but I've always felt like he liked me more than a friend but he went for Kirsten because she spoke up. So what do you think, should I try him at all? I know it's not the right thing to do, but she doesn't know how to be a friend. Btw I'm 16 and im .. a girl. duh. haha.
The Answer
Two, totally seperate and different problems:
1.) You want to date your friends ex.
Not actually a problem as far as I'm concerned. She didn't have to ask your permission and you don't have to ask hers. Just know she might be hurt, and she's allowed to be hurt. There will be consequences if you date this guy. People will talk.
I'm not sure you've caught this, but here is your other problem.
2.) You have absolutely NO respect for Kirsten. In your question you've insulted her in pretty much every way possible. You don't like her, you thinks she makes bad choices and you resent her being forward when you were not.
In short, you think Kirsten is a lousy human being.
You can't be a very good friend to her if you think that way about her and you don't seem to think she is a good friend to you...
Maybe the solution to this problem, is to not be Kirsten's friend.
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The Question
my moms telling me if i dye my hair when im on my period it will fuck it up or whatever.. is that truee ?
&& alsoo. my hairs died black & im trying to dye just the top part of it like a dark/lightbrown if i usedlight ash blonde would it work ?
The Answer
No, it wont do a damn thing to your period or your hair.
No, ash brown will not do the trick. If your hair is black you'd be best have a professional dye it a lighter colour.
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The Question
Well our school has this policy that you an't wear shirt's or tops that don't have shoulders, that include thin straps like spaghetti straps.
I have very cute tops. not slutty, but cute and the straps are like 2-3cm wide but that's still not an excuse.
And I don't want to wear a huge sweater with the zipper pulled down over it because then noone would see it.
I saw this girl once where she worse this sweater over top her top. Only there were no buttons, and it went just like to half of her stomache or under her boobs so it JUST covers her shoulders but shows off her style.
I'm trying to look for those but I don't know what they're called and where to buy one and i can't even find any pictures on the internet.
I live in Canada, Ontario. Can someone help me?
The Answer
They can be call shrugs or bolero jackets. Some people know them best as 'boob warmers' which is a pretty stupid name...
I'm afriad I'm not sure where you could find one these days. They were pretty popular for the last two years, mostly in the summer/fall lines but I don't think I've seen one for months now.
The might come back in after christmas when the spring lines come in. They aren't really a 'winter' item.
Best of luck.
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The Question
15/f
This might be a mental illness of some sort, I'm not entirely sure.
I have a great lack of self confidence. I don't ever say I'm pretty, I don't ever show off. I don't really care. And that is why, when people attempt to compliment me, I just reject it.
As such:
person A: Oh! You look splendid today, dear!
me: fuck off. you're lying.
person B: nahh dude she just wants attention, leave her alone. she's a bitch
And then, person B continues in that same manner, spitting venomous words of hatred at me.
But that's the thing- I'm not lying. I DON'T think I'm pretty. I DON'T think I ever look good. I DON'T think I'm skinny/fit/whateverr. Even if I am, I certainly don't see it in the mirror. (Even my MOM always compliments me and gets angry when I tell her I'm ugly)
I think I like calling myself ugly and I like what people tell me when I do. I like how they contradict it. And I think I get upset when it backfires on me, and that person tells me what they think I want them to tell me, but they won't. (???) Could this be some sort of mental illness/desperate search for attention that is in the back of my head??
Please help ;_;
The Answer
That alone isn't a mental illness.
In fact, a lot of people do it. You likely just don't notice them doing it, because you are too focused on what they are saying about you.
HOWEVER, you are right, what you are doing is nasty, petty and self-absorbed. You DO just want the attention. People will start to not like you because of it. It's not even at the 'back of your head' love, you KNOW exactly what you are doing.
Trust me. That behavoir is, at best, very boring. At it's worse it is annoying beyond belief. As you get older, less people will tolerate it.
So what do you do?
Well you start by politely saying 'Thank you' when someone gives you an honest compliment. Don't argue with them or fish for more, just value what they did say.
You might also start to write down those nice things that people say (the ones you don't beg them for). Look back at them and remind yourself that other people percieve you that way, even if you sometimes don't.
Most people are basically insecure and lack some self-confidence, but it's important that you build that up for yourself and not bully other people into providing it for you.
If you live this way, you'll always be at the mercy of others and they wont always give you what you want. They will get fed up and as you get older, less and less people will put up with it in the first place. In the end the only person whoes opinion really matters is your own. Even though you don't feel that way, it's still true. Without your own good opinion of yourself you'll never feel any better and you'll only drive people away.
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The Question
(you answered this question, but incase you needed a refreshment...) ******my boyfriend has been locked up and he had just got out the other week. hes on house arrest for a month && probation for 3. part of his probation is to not have contact with me at all. but the other day we hung out secretly && we had sex. now we think i may be pregnant. im going to take a test/ my first question is IF IM PREGNANT CAN HE GET IN TROUBLE? CAN HE GET LOCKED UP AGAIN? IF SO WHAT WOULD HAPPEN? and my other question is HOW SOON SHOULD I TAKE THE PREGNANCY TEST? we did it on friday the 23rd. my period starts on the 12th/13th every month. any advice you can give me would be great. please help. i dont want to get him locked up if i am pregnant and if i do keep it. please help.*******
okay so you answered this one but if i am pregnant what should we do? wait till hes off probation to tell everyone? or what?
The Answer
If you are pregnant, keep in mind you wont know for serveral weeks, you need to tell everyone, right away.
You'll only hurt the baby if you don't. You need a doctor, the right treat and vitamines. If you intend on keep it, you need to take care of your body and your child. You need to responsible and you can't do that without telling the people in your life.
If you keep it a secret you are only hurting yourself, your child and the people whose support you desperately need.
Don't fuck around with this.
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The Question
So I've recently admitted to myself that I'm bi sexual, or atleast bi curious. I a friend [we're both females] who is also bi curious. How to I tell her that I'm interested in experimenting with her?
..How do I tell her that and not sound like I just want to use her as a test subject or something?
The Answer
Do you just want to use her as a test subject?
Seriously, there is nothing wrong with that, but it is important you be honest about it with her.
If you want to try and have a relationship with her, say so. If you just want to hook up and try and have some fun, be honset about that.
Any sort of sex, with anyone of any gender, is way easier and way more fun, when you are just honest about what you want.
Use the words that come to you. Either she'll be game or she wont.
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The Question
ok, i asked this question::
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=521481
and heres what happened. i cried endlessly for days, but we are on speaking terms now. he seems SO sorry. he has told me a million and one times. hes cried with me.. hes said how he loves me more than anything in this world.. how he cant lose me, hes never loved anyone else as much, no ones ever treated him as good as i have and loved him that much back, and how he was seriously preparing to ask my mom & propose on down the road. he says without me, hes gone. either to live with his dad hours away or to the army.. anything, but i was the only thing keeping him here. that because of me, he hasnt dropped out of school, and he actually cares about things, and that ive showed him so much about himself and changed him for the better.
this puts me in a pickle. i love this kid, but i just cant get over what he did. as of now, we are not together, but its so hard. i feel like i cant just throw away a year and a half ya know? hes seriously never done anything like that before, thats not him. and he said if we were to get back together, he wouldnt try ANYTHING at ALL.
i told him i need time to get over this, and that my trust in him is GONE. it took me months to trust him the first time around [i have major trust issues, mostly with guys thanks to previous boyfriends], and this time would be 10x harder. but all he wants is me back. he seems so sincere.. and i want to give him another chance, but at the same time, i dont want it to be that he'll just sweet talk his way back to me and thats that. i honestly dont think hed do anything like that again, but i dont want to set myself up ya know?
also, he apparently was under the influence of prescription meds that were not his [they were his moms, he wasnt feeling well and didnt take the right thing].. he says that caused him to be in a different state of mind that night... and that he took it the next day, broke things, and had to be hospitalized.
im just lost. should i give him another chance? and also, if so, how can i open up and trust him again, slowly let my guard down, and just not dwell on what happened?
AHH! input??
The Answer
He's backpedaling, which is good, because it means he knows he really screwed up, but it's also bad, because it means he isn't telling you the whole truth and is trying desperately to paint himself in the best light possible.
To make himself seem like not such a bad guy: he is lying to you.
You must know that it is ridiculously unlikely that his 'prescription medication' excuse is anything but a load of bullshit. He might really want to believe it, but its still nonsense. No prescription medication turns you into a rapist. Very, very few could even impair someone’s judgment that much…
Tell him to stop contacting you all together. Don’t speak to him and try not to think of him. If, after three months of NO contact at all, he still wants a second chance and you want to try, then go ahead.
For now, keep him away from you. Time will tell you if he is sincere or if he is trying to manipulate you.
If he is the controlling asshole his behavior makes him out to be, he will not go three months without contacting you. He will try different things, maybe even try to work through your friends and family, to try and get messages to you, or try and affect you in some way. He will call you *needing* to talk to you. He will get angry with you and tell you your response is unfair if you hold your ground and insist on the time apart… The distance and time should make his other manipulative behavior obvious to you.
If he is a respectful guy, he will respect your wishes for no contact and if he really wants to be with you, he will wait three months. Three months is a very short time.
You should try a bit of counseling in the meantime. Even if it is nothing but calling a rape hotline in your area, that will help you get this into perspective and work through it. It doesn’t matter if you get back with him or not, you still need to work through this for your own sake.
Time will also tell you if you can get over this and have a production relationship with him. You may forgive him. You may decide he wasn't all that wrong. You may still feel like you can't be with him anymore.
That is my advice to you, but I want to add this: I wouldn’t take him back. I might have, in your shoes at 17, but today as a 22 year-old no way in hell would I take such a guy back. He is old enough to have known better and he made an absolutely moronic excuse as he tried to make light of the situation.
He decided not behave properly. There is a damn good chance he will behave badly again, perhaps never in this way exactly but he’ll find new and exciting ways to disrespect you.
If you catch the slightest whiff of that kind of disrespectful, self-involved, nasty, controlling behavior, dump him on his ass and never ever look back.
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