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My boyfrinds in another state, what doI do?
Let me start off by saying that I have wonderfull boyfrind.I am currently 17 and I am a girl.Michael, he is my soul mate.My mother doesnt like him. She has valid reasons but I love him nad he treats my with respect and loves me. I dont belive that theres nothing that he wouldnt do for me.
I am currently in Virginia. I moved here in August. he is in Virginia. Our plan is for him to come get me on my 18th birthday and for us to get married. I wont be able to see him until next Novenber. I miss him terrribly.
What should I do? I mean my mother would freak if she found out that I was with him again and I cant talk to him on the house phone and I am like the only one in the universe that doesnt have a cell phone.So, should I stay with him and move or should I stay here, in VA?
urs truly
Confuzzeled?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Do not get married.
Seriously.
I know it seems like a great idea. It seems like you want to spend your life with this guy, but you guys arent ready for that yet.
You need to get to know him in every day life. An online relationship is not a true relationship, you dont get to see someone's flaws that way.
I was in a distance relationship for 2 years and she moved in with me at the beginning of the summer. Chaos. We got to see each other about twice a month during those 2 years and even then, there were things about her that I didnt learn until I saw her every day. At a distance its too easy to gloss over your faults.
You should not marry someone unless youve been with them at least a year where you could see each other several times a week. That is close enough proximity to start seeing true flaws and learning if you can live with theirs.
You are going to change. So is he. I would say another good guideline is do NOT get married to anyone until you are past 20. Before that you are way too young to know if things are going to work out. Even 20 is very young.
See Abbey's advice below me? Excellent advice. Read mine, then read hers. Then read hers again. And again. Its a very good perspective from a girl.
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Kay, Stop. Stop everything and really think.
I was where you're at not too long ago. Do you know what happen to me? My boyfriend (who was 21 and a marine) left me and ran off and got married two months later to a whore. Sweetie, you're 17. I'm 18 right now and the best advice anyone can give you is DON'T GET MARRIED! Not right now at least.
You have a long beautiful life in front of you. You don't need a husband holding you down right now. Sure, when you're like 23-25 is a great time to get married. Right now, no. It's not. You've got a lot to look forward to. College, hot guys, dates, clubbing....it goes on and on. And trust me. I made the mistake of walking into college with a boyfriend and I kicked my ass for doing it.
You may love him and he may love you. But a true testimony of love is if he'll wait till you're through with college. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet before you get married. I work with an attorney and I see divorces everyday. If you're trying to stay with someone for your whole life, that's great, but more often than not, it's not going to happen. High school sweethearts are great, but they don't last. About 1 out of 100 actually works.
Walk it out and see how it goes. Don't put that ring on your finger yet. Guys are fickle and the only person you can ever really trust is yourself. Never forget that.
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My opinion is that you should stay home. Your mom has her reasons not to like him but your mom isn't perfect and can't make your choices but at least listen to her. 18 years old and gonna get married? That is just too much. So your ready to be comitted for the rest of your life, move out, take your own responsibility and try to have a happy life? Are you sure you are ready for that? I'm not saying that you couldn't do it I'm just asking if you are ready for all of it. And also I suggest you tell your mom about him too even if she would freak out. I can't make your decisions and no one else can for you either. I hope everything goes well for you though!
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I have to say that I really doubt you would ask this question, if you didn't you already know the answer.
You should NOT cut ties with your family, run away, and get married at 18 years old. It's a pretty dumb idea all around.
Mother's aren't always right, but they are rarely completely and utterly wrong. You say she has some 'valid reasons' to dislike him. Perhaps you should think a bit more on those valid reasons before you throw yourself into a committed lifetime with him and alienate all your friends and family who love you.
It's a dumb idea. Oh yes it's a romantic idea and I can see why you WANT to do it. I WANT a pet snow leopard, but no matter how much I want one and no matter how much I would just love it completely and utterly, it doesn't change the fact that it would be a very idea for the leopard and me.
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