|
ex girlfriend??
My boyfriend and I haven't even been going out for a month, but I want to get past this situation.
I was at his house the other day, and his sister started talking about his ex girlfriend, who is apparently calling their house and his cell phone all the time and sending him pictures of her on his phone telling him how much she wants him back. And I guess he told her that he's already taken and what not, but yesterday we were together and I saw that he was texting her. It's just really hard to trust him because I don't know him all that entirely well yet, I don't really know what to think. And I don't REALLY want to bring it up and have him think that I'm a jealous freak so early into the relationship. He is a really sweet guy, the nicest boyfriend I've had by far, I just don't want to think all that about him and then have him screw me over.
So what do you think I should do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all, you're completely right in worrying about this. But maybe he isn't ready for a relationship just yet.
Does he ever make fun of her, say he hates her? does he talk about her, is her name really that far from his mouth? Even though he swears he can't stand her, that kind of passion means he still has strong feelings for her. He may know he doesnt want her back, but he can still love her. This may not be what you want to hear, but if he was with her for a while he will need time to get over her
and although this might be the case, i truly doubt she's just texting him for nothing. He has given her hope. He texts her back, probably talks to her on the phone when you're not around, or makes comments to her that make her feel wanted. Because NO girl chases a guy who says "BACK OFF, NEVER TEXT ME, I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE" if he's ever said that, he proably apologized if she's still trying to contact him.
I am not saying don't trust your new boyfriend, but maybe give him some time. He obviously is falling hard for you, and may not want to take a break, but believe me it's best for the relationship.
good luck <3
]
Take a deep breath and ask him about the situation with his ex.
This is what you can say "I really like you, but your ex obessesively calling you is making me nervous. I don't want to pry, but could you bring up to speed on what is going on with her? I promise not to flip out and get jealous. It would just make me feel better if we could talk about these sort of things honestly."
At a certain point in the relationship (an early point) it's a good and mature idea to get a bit of romantic history from your partner. Having an idea about how they have behaved in the past will prepare you for how they might behave with you.
Listen closely to what he will tell you about her and the way he is dealing with her now. You don't need to pry very much, just pay attention to what he does say, not what you wish he would say.
If you decide you can trust him after this conversation, take a deep breath, and ignore your doubts until you have reasons to doubt.
]
More Questions: |