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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
I will celebrate my 2nd anniversary in september. I'm 29 and my husband is 35. My husband and I have these petty arguments all the time about how he always put me last or don't help me around the house. For example, we were invited to a relative's house for Easter dinner. I haven't seen these relatives since they moved back to my home town. I made sure my husband didn't have any plans for us, before I gave my cousin the okay for dinner. Well, when Sunday came, he layed around the house napping. I told him I wanted to leave the house at 4pm for dinner and he said okay. As usual, he didn't start to get ready until 5:30pm. This is an ongoing problem, it's like he doesn't hear me or just don't care. Since December we scheduled a date. We would go out or watch a movie once a week (on a Wednesday), this day was selected by my husband. Since I compromised on a Weekday, due to him working on Saturdays. I suggested we start date night no later than 6:30 pm. This way, we can still enjoy one another and I can still get enough rest for work the next day. He agreed. However, I think he made it to date night on time maybe 3 times. The last straw was he wanted to go to the mall during our night. This was after he showed up 1 and 1/2 hours late. What I don't understand is he get's an attitude with me, because I'm mad at him. I'm really tired of this and not to mention all the other teenage actions he's pulled. What should I do???
The Answer
When you are at risk of inconveniencing others, I would leave without him.
"I will be leaving at 4pm to visit my cousin. I really hope you'll join me."
"I am leaving in 10 minutes. If you are joining us you'll need to be ready."
"Goodbye dear! I'll be at my cousins and I'll be home around 11."
But of course, you also need to seek some counseling for the both of you because you need to re-evaluate the way you make decisions together. Obviously the compromises that seem rational and agreed upon, well, aren't. A third party helping you negotiate and respect each other would be invaluable.
But also take some control of your own life. If he is not on time for a movie, go in yourself. If he late at a restaurant date, enjoy your meal alone. If he is stalling, sit down and enjoy a book until he decides he is ready. Plan an evening’s activity for yourself.
Stop trying to control him, and take control of yourself. You will feel better.
Taking control doesn't come from playing games or misleading him (You mustn't stoop to his level after all) it comes from doing precisely what you said you were going to do. Always give fair warning and calm responses.
"We will met for dinner at 6:30 then? Great! I'm going to order my meal at 7:15pm so I can eat at a decent hour."
And at 8pm when he shows up.” I wish we could have eaten together, but I ordered my dinner at 7:15, just as I said I would. Would you like to order now?"
Waiting for him obviously breeds resentment on your part, stop waiting and he will either take the hint, or you will see just how much he doesn't care to honor your schedule.
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The Question
Can anyone be very DETAILED in answering: would you allow your child to go on a stay away from home visit - with ANYONE whom you do NOT know where they live, or whom they live with?
The Answer
No.
There is no 'detailed' answer to give.
If I did not know the person, or where they lived, or who else occupied the house, I would absolutely forbid my child from taking such an trip.
However, since you called this question 'visitation issues' I am assuming there are far more details to this. You will need to include those details if you require a more detailed answers.
Parents have certain rights to make bad choices. A parent with joint custody would likely need to get social services or the courts involved in order to stop the other parent from making bad choices. Where as a parent with sole custody would be well within thier rights to say "Over my dead body" to such an arrangement.
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The Question
My girl friend took plan B towards the end of last year not exactly sure when. I know it's bad but can she take it again?
The Answer
She can.
It's not a 'bad' thing, it's is exactly what it is: 'Plan B'. So as long as you are using a Plan A, condoms and/or birth control, having to use a Plan B from time to time isn't a horrible thing, just an unforcunate one... but then, that is what Plan Bs are for!
It is not recommended for women to take Plan B more then once in a six month period, but it is allowed for you to take it that often, just not suggested. So she is perfectly able to take it agian now.
As she should have before, she needs to read the package carefully and see a doctor if she has any concerns or extreme side-effects.
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The Question
I met this guy 4 years ago. I am in my late 20's and he is in his early 30's. We hit it off. He was everything I was looking for; attractive, charming, sweet, succesful, and loving. 3 months into it he changes into a cocky, disrespectful person. Apparently he had another girlfriend. I suffered as the other woman for almost 3 years. I knew what I needed was to leave, but I didn't. Actually throughout those 3 years, we were on and off. It is now into the 4th year and he has made some changes. I think and feel like he is only seeing me. When we're together, we are deeply in love. We laugh, we enjoy each others company, We are so happy together. And I mean literally "together". He is a very busy guy, so when we're apart...we do not get along. Because I already have trust issues considering he disrespected and cheated in the part, I would think that he would try his hardest to communicate. Of course, he doesnt. Some nights he simply doesnt return my calls. His excuse the next morning is he had a long day and he was tired. I really think that he is not cheating, but I feel like I deserve to be communicated with. Would counseling be worth our time? Is our relationship savageable? I am deeply in love with him. Please help.
The Answer
After three years of being 'the other woman' what has changed? Seriously. What are these 'some changes' you've mentioned? He stopped fucking other people... excuse me whilst I am moved to tears of joy by that small kindness.
You already know what is going on here. You are dating a deeply self-involved man who is only occasionally respectful of your feelings as a 'favor' to you or to 'placate' you. His perception of the universe is so warped and deeply egotistical, that even if he never does cheat on you again, he'll likely never view you as an equal in this relationship or have a basic understanding of your needs.
Maybe you are expecting too much of him, but that makes him a person with very little to give, it doesn't make your expectations unfair.
Go to counseling, with or without him. Either way, it will help give you the strength to end this one-sided relationship. If you go with him, you'll likely quickly see just how little love he has for you. Without him, you might start to find a bit of love for yourself.
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The Question
My mother seems to have control issues and I don't know if she is mentally ill. I am an adult, I do live with my parents but I am working on moving out, actually getting married. She says the most hurtful things to me. Today, she was suggesting that I go on a vacation with my guy friends, I told her I don't know; he is saving for my engagement ring and I am saving for my house. She was still encouraging me, saying, "you will have enough for a house someday." I was like I am saving for a couple of years not some day. She was like, buying a vacation wont affect it. She looked up how much it cost and my boyfriend we there. he waid maybe, we were thinking of spliting down the middle-both paying our own way. She told me I should just pay the whole thing being I got money back from the tax return. I told her I cannot affort to do both tickets. She was mean. Well anyway, she always goes crazy when I disagree with her. She was always a little mean but now she is so difficult. Could she be mentally ill?
The Answer
Nothing you've mentioned sounds like mental illness to me. It sounds more like she is getting old, and that you are very ready to move out.
Be concerned if she makes unwise decisions for herself and compromises her safety or finacial situation. Anger and bad advice does not a mental illness make, just a flawed human being of a mother.
EDIT:
You cannot change her. Period. You can only try to get help, for herself, and for yourself.
If she is becoming violent, get help from a conselor, a socail worker, a relgious leader, or a trusted member of the family, to help her realize her behavoir is not okay. You might also want to speak to a nurse or counselor who specializes in aging. They could look at her behavoir with an more educated eye and give you an idea of what is actually going on.
By the by, we read your question as you ask it, not your mind. If there is physical violence, you should mention that. It's kind of relevant when talking about someone's mental health.
Also, what you've done here is ratings abuse. 1's should only be given for advice you intend to also file an abuse report on. I would suggest you rate in accordance with Advicenators rules (find them here http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=19) before a moderator notices.
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The Question
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I am so overwhelmed with the whole engaged issue. I feel almost like everyone is getting engaged around me, and they have only been with these guys for a month, should I push the engagement issue on him or just sit back and watch these 1 year or even 6 month relationships evolve faster then mine is!
The Answer
Do you want to get engaged and married? Right now?
Or do you want to jump off the bridge because everybody else is doing it?
Don't worry so much. Those relationships aren't evolving 'faster' then yours, only differently. Besides, what seems fastest isn't always better. A person jumping off said bridge will move faster then a Cheetah can run... but what good is that to them? The cheetah gets a meal, and the person goes splat.
Give yourself, and him, a break. Talk to him about the future and your plans together if you'd like, but no good ever came of 'pushing' for an engagement. Certainly even less good will come of it if the only reason you want one is because everyone else has one!
If something is important to you and your life plans, express it. If you just 'I wanna!' an engagement and wedding, keep that impulse to yourself.
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The Question
my friend told me she saw some video about the 9/11 attacks and she said they were planned by the U.S. government so they could take over some other country..
then she said theres some video of george bush saying "the planes hit" before they hit?
and then she said some plane left a baseball sized hole in the pentagon then they paid all the people on the plane to live in a different country so no one would find out.?
ok so isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard? what do you think of all this?
The Answer
The movie I bet you are talking about is Zeitgeist... and it's a load of the most ludicrious crap I have ever heard
Go ahead, watch the full thing yourself here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5547481422995115331
It is a brilliantly edited pile of lies and half-truths (the most powerful lies of all).
What really happened on 9/11? I don't claim to know, but I do know that Zeitgeist claims about religion are well, plainly stupid, and the idea of astronomy and physics both irrational and ill-informed.
If you must watch this silly little movie, I would encourage you to watch the versions on YouTube which is called Zeitgeist Debunked. Although imperfect, it is a good lesson in not taking everything a movie tells you as the truth.
I'd strongly encourage you to also take a look at the list of 'sources' that Zeitgeist cites on their website. Among them are unnamed geologists, self-professed Satanists (Gosh knows they are unbiased and interested in serious scholarship when it comes to the ‘evilness’ of Christianity eh?), not a single structural engineer and only ONE primary source (from the Reagan administration).
Those reports and scriptures they claim to be citing are NOT there. The names and credentials of the people speaking and making these critical comments on 9/11 events are NOT there. Why are these things, which are supposed to 'prove' their claims, not listed as informational sources? Most likely because they don't exist and those people who are speaking, have no valid credentials to support or lend authority to their theories.
Maybe 9/11 was a homegrown scam of epic purportions, but that movie it's a compelling piece of fiction. Nothing more.
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The Question
how do games like http://www.psychicreadings.org.uk/game2.htm
work?!?!
The Answer
NONE of the cards which appeared on the first page, appear on the second. Don't believe me? Write em all down and you'll see.
It's a disgusting scam.
Case closed.
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The Question
here is the thing. like any other friendship of a girl and guy. one falls for the others.
in this case.. i fell for my best friend. we were open with each other, so i told him.. i dealt with liking him and i hid at times and lied that i didnt anymore just so it wouldnt mess up the friendship. then i admitted i loved him..he was okay with that, but he had a girlfriend. who he has known for 3 years..and yeah i know he is in love with her, he has been for the last 2 years or so, and has been trying to get with her for the longest time. we ended the friendship so my feelings could disappeared though i told him it wasnt possible for it to all go away like nothing happened, and that i will always have feelings.. so we werent friends for a month, and i was really happy..and i didnt see much feelings for him. last saturday we became friends again..and we took things so..though its a bit rocky..we dont talk everyday and dont have deep conversations, since we are barely friends and we both want to work on this..for some reason i got all these feelings that i battled back before we ended the friendship..i'm scared..i can't really talk to my friends about this..they are all sick of hearing this..and one could tell him about this..and yeah.
we agreed if my feelings increased again, then it'd be best to end the friendship. he knows that he means a lot to me, he knows that our friendship means a lot to me. (about 3 weeks ago he asked me what i wanted for my birthday (which is next week) though we werent friends yet..i looked at him, and said our friendship and started to cry.) we both want to be friends again and we were both working on it..and hope to maybe be best friends again.
i just don't what to do..my feelings are coming back..and i dont want to live in pain..but i dont want to loose him either. :-\
The Answer
You can't have everything you want.
You can either have your happiness and peace of mind, or you can have his friendship... oh wait, no that doesn't work either...
Because, lets say you dont' tell him that your feelings have come back. Sooner or later you are going to slip up and he will realize the truth and your friendship will end. It will be messy and painful, because he will feel lied too and misled and you feel like a failure and a monster for crushing on someone who doesn't feel the same AND has a girlfriend.
So obviously, that is a bad plan.
So the real choice here is this:
You can pretend to have his friendship for a bit longer before it all falls apart and leaves you both feeling like shit.
OR
You can admit to yourself that 'friendship' is nothing but a lie you were trying to tell yourself and move on respectfully.
You can't change how you feel, you can only deal with it. It's a painful thing to actually do, but a simple choice to make when you see it for what it really is.
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The Question
my friend just started these and in only a month she has gotten bigger has anyone eles heard anything about Biotech™ Corporation Natural Curves™ Breast Enhancement? or any other type.....if it works and is healthy ..what a great thing instead of dangoeours plascitc surgery
The Answer
No. They don't work. Oddly enough, if they did, they would NOT be heathly. Things that could cause the glands in your breasts to 'grow' (rather then swell due to horomones or fat, which is only a temporary effect) would likely be linked to cancer... because we know that abnormal growth in glands can lead to cancer.
It is because they do not work that they are basically harmless and avliable over the counter. If there were medical studies showing they did work, they would be restricted.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/womenshealth/205725.html
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/11/041123210411.htm
http://health.ninemsn.com.au/asktheexperts/expert2.aspx?id=268831
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU READ.
When you google something like 'breast enhancement pills' remember that many of the pages that come up first have PAID to come up first or used other tricky methods to make sure they get thier messages to you before more rational voices can. Do not take anything you read on the internet at face value, espcailly if a site is also trying to sell you something.
Go ahead and give it a try if you must, but don't kid yourself with too much hope. When something sounds too good to be true, it typically is.
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The Question
i'm gonna be a freshman at northeastern univeristy next year and i plan on having a standard double room so i was just wondering if you can move the furniture around? and can you put a loft style bed in the dorm to save room? and of course can you bring your own mattress?
The Answer
No. You are not able too.
Either you have already signed this, or you will be signing it shortly, this is your License Agreement (basically, a lease) on your res room.
http://www.northeastern.edu/reslife/pdfs/Undergrad_License_Ag.pdf
If you already have this, re-read it. If you haven't got this yet, make sure to read it very carefully.
Read page three, Alterations to Premises, and you will see that you are not allowed to add personal furnature or mattresses. They have even highlighted that passage for you, so I would imagine they are pretty serious.
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The Question
I met this guy two months ago and he's searious about me, but I'm not sure if us in a relationship would work. The first problem is that I could never get myself to commit to anyone. He could be the best person I have ever known. We have great conversations (mostly about sports), he respects me completely, we practically have the same mind in most cases, and I feel like he's the only one that I could talk to about things no one else seems to understand about me. He's always there when I need him. As you can tell, this guy is great. So what is wrong?
The second thing about us is the distance thing. Yes, he's there for me when I want to talk, but we're still in two different places. He lives in NY and I live in Boston. At first it didn't get to me much because that's what drew us closer in a way. Our first conversation lasted hours about new york and boston sports teams. We were both very competitive, but loved it. I never laughed so much. Maybe this distance thing isn't bad for most people, but I'm not one of them. Neither of us plan on leaving our hometowns. It's our homes. And this thing we have hasn't gone long enough to even think so far down the line, but it's starting to bug me because we never see each other. Am I just finding excuses or is "relationship" just not good? Of course we're young, but I am at a loss because I really want this to work.
*18/f
The Answer
Nothing will work out if you aren't interested in making it work out.
You are looking for reasons this will fail. You've basically said flat out that neither of you will compromise on your place of residence and that you believe you are incapable of a long-distance relationship.
That is okay. Actually, it's a raelly great thing that at such a young age you've discovered that some things are just 'Deal-breakers'. Some things you simply cannot live with. Rascism is a dealbreaker for me, so is wanting children actually, because I don't want children there is no reason to get deeply involved with someone who really does.
I wont compromise on children. I don't expect anyone else too either.
I know what I want from life, and some things don't fit in.
You know what you want from life, and long-distance relationships right now just don't fit in.
That's okay. Just be honest with yourself and with him. We can't always get what we really want.
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The Question
So when I told my friend that I am bi and that I like her more than a friend. She said that she was fine with it but doesn’t feel the same way because unsure of her sexuality. I knew I had to move on. That was last year.
This year she seems close to me. Like flirting and close. When school started at college she asks me when I have class. I told her I have two English classes on Monday and Wednesday and Friday. She asks me to meet her at the front of the stairs at 2:00pm when the bus drops me off. I start class at 3:00pm. She been doing this lately and I ask her why she is here early because her classes starts at 5:30pm. She said “because I want to spend time with you we haven’t talk” which we do every other weekend with our friends. Then she been try to grab my attention. Like when we are talking just the two of us its fine till one of our friends come by to talk to us she seem to hit me playfully when I make a joke and then playfully argue with me. Last time I push her (light push) cause she hit me and she said “hey why you do that for? I been do nice to you” she crosses her arms and look away from me and I said sorry “you better be” she said and hits me again. When we were walking together she seems to walk close to me side by side. Our hands brush against one another twice. I pulled away but she got closer. Last time she asks me when I work and I said tomorrow. Then at work she text me “when are you off?” I reply soon at 8 why? She didn’t reply till next morning. I ask her “why do you want to know when I work?’ she reply “I am just curious” but she kept bugging me when I be off work and when I have work. I told her she is confusing and she reply “your confusing” I told her she was a stocker and she reply “your point?” when I ask her face to face why she wanted to know when I am off she looked away from me and said “because I was curious.”
She seems flirty and she closes to me. I mean she will lean on me and show body language. But her verbal language is different “when I get married” or “if I have a boy friend” or “I like you, as a friend”. Its just she seem her body is reading “I want you” but her voice is saying “you’re my friend”. last time in front of our friend she said out load “she’s my ducky” (ducky is my nickname.) it sounded like she was claming me.
I like her for 6 years and I ask her before do you like me more than a friend? She shook her head no. I ask her that last year because she got jealous that I met a guy at a party (nothing happen). She said she was jealous but last time I ask her to explain herself she ignore the question but answer “I was being over protective”
What am I to do?
She is confusing me.
F/21/bi
The Answer
You are confusing me.
You've asked very similar questions before. I'm certian of it. So, I'm going to give you the same advice I've given you before, only more distilled and to the point.
She is playing you. Stop leting her.
You have handed her ultimate power over your feelings and interactions with others. You have accepted behavoir from her that is completely unacceptable. You have put your romantic life on hold for someone who lies and manipulates you.
Long before you ever admited your feelings to her, she had total power over you. You are kiding yourself if you don't think she knows it, and enjoys it. All of her behavoir points to someone who delights in thier control over others.
Despite your confession and request for moving forward, she has managed to maintain the status quo. The status quo where you blindly worship here and she occasionally strings you along to make sure you don't stop worshipping her.
If you can't put a stop to this, you deserve just what you are getting.
Seriously, you need accept that a relationship with her is NEVER going to happen. Even if it were possible that she turned around tomorrow and said "Yes, I want you! Be with me." it wouldn't work. There is too much pain, too many lies and too much manipulation and game-playing for you two to ever make a healthy go of it.
You are in the exact same place with her as you were when you were 14! Move on. Ignore her attempts to regain your attention.
Her sexuality is moot, it doesn't matter. Stop looking for 'signs'. Look at the facts. The facts are that she has treated you like crap, for years, and strung you along. She might not mean to be so cruel, but regardless, there is no rational reason to believe she will stop doing so.
It's on you. Stop this.
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The Question
How can you tell if a guy is actually busy, or isn't interested in a relationship?
The Answer
It doesn't really matter. Either way, he isn't going to end up in a serious relationship is he?
If he is too busy, it wont happen because neither he, nor his partner will get what they need to grow a relationship.
If he isn't interested, then it also wont happen.
Don't waste your time trying to figure out what a guy is 'thinking'. The odds of you being correct or about the same as you winning 649. Focus on what he DOES.
If he doesn't do what is needed to create the kind of relationship you'd like, just move on, because his reasons don't change the facts.
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The Question
the other day i read a question about a girl who is in love with her prof... someone told her its bad news and stuff. . i know that but i was wondering if anyone could tell me what trouble SHE could get into? i know he can get fiered and not work as a teacher again ... what does she have to lose? and what happens if she was caught approaching him?
The Answer
The largest thing she has to loose is respect. The respect of her peers, her other teachers, and of the university community. You can't kid yourself into thinking that such gossip doesn't spread far and wide.
If she is a professional school, or a more tailored program, her actions might haunt her out in the industry for years to come as well.
In rare cases, students might be subject to academic dishonesty or misconduct for engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a professor.
In some states, if the student is eighteen or younger, there are penalties for being in a position of authority (like a professor) and engaging in sexual activity, so she could find herself compelled to disclose things she rather not regardless of the fact it was consensual.
But as I said at the begining, the biggest risk is to her respectability. Reputations are fragile, hers just as much as his.
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The Question
14\F
Ive been going out with this boy named Eric for about 4-5 months now, and were always going on dates and everything and just this weekend [Saturday] I went over his house alone... well we've been kissing for a while but thats it I mean IM ONLY FOURTEEN and Eric put his hand up my shirt, and I donno if it's normal or not but I sorta freaked cuz its the first time anything besides kissing has happened to me.. and I was like Woah and he like continued so i was like oh umm im sorry but can you stop. So kinda mad I think he did, I let him"feel me up" on the outside of my shirt so he wouldn't get to mad, but then he tried un-buttoning my jeans and thats when I was like WOAH! What are you doing?? and he was like weve been going out for so long now why can't you go further then kissing me it's not like we'll have sex or anything.. and i donno I just didnt feel comfortable but I do like him. And I was like Im sorry.. and hes like You do like me dont you so I said yes! and he was like okay then. and Tried putting his hand up my shirt again then it was like No.. i dont feel comfortable ill just walk home and he got really mad at me. I tried telling him Crawling leads to walking, and Walking turns to running and I dont like running not yet atleast IM ONLY FOURTEEN!!! Well I feel violated right now, but then it's like would I have gone all the way if I let him? Would he have?? and I needed to talk to someone and my best friend Adam--yes it a boy was like WHAT and wanted to kill him but I made him promise not to. And this weekend oim going back over... and I dont want to go any farther then we did this weekend but I donno if Eric will accept that and I know if he doesnt break up with him but shouldnt I atleast do something? Like handjob? like satisfy him?? I dont want to.. but to make him happy I will... I donno what to do i really like him, and I dont know why I cant just let him do what he wants with me, but I cant... I know I cant.
and Im not a slut.. im only 14, I know ive dated him a long time but I thought he was happy with just kissing... now its like how long has he wanted this? Why didnt he tell me before? and Im just scared you know? Maybe I shouldnt go back to his house without a parnet and my and his parents are being super cool with letting me over because they do know! and I promissed my mom Id keep it PG-13...
Anything would be helpfull really.
The Answer
'To satasfy him' is NOT a reason to have sex or any kind of sexual activity.
Him being a horny little brat, is not your responsibility and it shouldn't be your 'problem' to deal with. You aren't ready for a sexual relationship, so his sexual desires are his problem, not yours.
You can't let him 'do what he wants with you' because that is well, slavery, or prostitution (or even rape) to simply allow someone to have thier way with you. That isn't what sex is about with someone you care for. That isn't even really consensual.
Just dump him now. Seriously. In this practicular matter is does not matter what his 'needs' are. You've already given him a second chance (by my count, you gave him three chances, and each time he continued to ignore your opinion and push things too far).
Yes, it is important that people express themselves in thier relationship, and it would have been far better if he spoken to your about what he wanted of this relationship, but he didn't. Instead, he showed you through his actions what he wanted, and did so in a way that not only disrespect you, but it sounds like very geuninely frightened you.
The time for compromise and dicussion has passed. Please just send this guy the clear message that discussion is in fact important, and that you truly mean what you say. Unless he comes to you with deep apologies and shame for his behavoir last time, dump him, because he just doesn't get it.
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The Question
i met this guy online and we decided to meet in person.
unfortunately, he's gorgeous, articulate, intelligent, interesting, athletic, and into all the music i'm into.
however, he is older than me and i'm worried that i came off as immature and dorky.
we just met yesterday, i haven't talked to him about how he thought it went yet, but he said he might see me again.
i'm just worried because i've never been even kind of involved with a guy i'm that attracted to because i always think they're out of my league.
i'm a little stuck and don't know what to do here, someone give me some advice?
The Answer
Did you make a bad impression? You haven't said anything here that makes me think you did.
Look, if you came off as immature because you are younger then him, well, nothing you can do can change that. You ARE younger then him. You could try and pretend to be something you aren't, but that would just be lame and he'd probably see through it.
Don't let your nerves get you down. React to what he tells you thought, not your own swirling fears. There is nothing you can do but sit tight and enjoy your next conversation with a great guy.
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The Question
Female 15
Hello,
Umm i was wondering does anyone know how i can enhance my breast size with out taking pills or getting implants like certain foods i can eat or something? Or like certain tea i can drink?
Please and thanks.
The Answer
You can't.
There are only three natural ways to enhance your breasts:
Develope them as you grow up.
Gain weight.
Get pregnant.
Pill do not work. Special teas and foods do not work. It would be like trying to change your eye colour by eating pears... just plain silly.
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The Question
15/m
a lot of ppl don't have this problem, but i have a really big penis
its about 7 1/2 inches, i don't no if thats big or not, but if i get and erection during school its really noticable
wat can i do to keep my penis down ?
wat can u do to get rid of and erection?
please dont crack any jokes cause its really akward
The Answer
I hate to burst your bubble babe, but you have a 'bigger then normal' penis, not a 'really big' one.
Probably best if you directed your actual question to a male.
I have to be honest when I am in complete ignorance on a subject: I have no idea how to get rid of an erection or stop them from happening. I've never had that problem.
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The Question
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OK
so I've known this one guy since 7th grade. (I'm in 11th now) We were really close friends back when I went to public school with him during 7th grade. I transferred to a private school and have been in a private school since the 8th grade.
He's really good friends with my ex-boyfriend, whom, lets just say my parents put a restraining order on (long story).
So I work with my best guy friend. Let's call him B.
So since the 7th grade, I've somehow known that B has liked me all along.
A few months ago I admitted to him that I like him and he says he has since 7th grade and has not stopped caring about me.
Three problems:
1) My parents are REALLY strict about who I date and who I hang around, they don't want me hanging around many people from the public school in my town. It's not that it is a bad town or anything, I just have no idea why.
2) Like I have mentioned in the past, he is good friends with my ex and I have a restraining order on my ex. So my parents are not too thrilled that B hangs around my ex.
3) B has a girlfriend that he has been with for almost a year.
On New Years Eve when we both worked until closing time, we were talking and he just kisses me out of the blue. He said he knows it is not right but says he does not regret it.
B says he would rather be with me but we both know its kind of impossible due to my parents. We both work at the same place and usually after work is when we talk a little bit. We can't hang out together because my parents will think that my ex will somehow show up also.
B and I text each other and talk almost all the time. He always says things like he misses me.
Saturday, he came to see me when I got out of work.
I just have no idea what to do because I've started to fall for him. I really do not know how to go about handling this or fixing it.
Have you ever been in the same similar kind of situation?
What would you do?
Thanks a bunch!
The Answer
You are not supposed to post questions to individual columnists AND the pool. If you must do this, at least make it less obvious eh?
Anyways.
'B' is a jerk. Did you miss the part where he has a girlfriend but kissed you anyways? Did you go into a coma when he declared that 'he doesn't regret' openly choosing to betray said girlfriend.
Can you ignore the fact that a male, who was so dangerous you needed to get a restraining order agianst him, is B's idea of a a really good friend.
Don't be a fool hun. I have never been in a position where I continued to crush on a guy who was willing to openly betray his girlfriend or be friends with guys who have abused me.
But I have had crushes on guys who just don't care that much for me, and it hurst like hell. I'm afriad that is the sitution you find yourself in here.
Two things need to happen if you have any chance of this ending happily:
1.) He needs to respect you, and his girlfriend enough to end his relationship with her. Even if he can't be with you, he shouldn't be with her if he doesn't want to be loyal to her. It's scummy for him to talk sweet to you while he is with her.
2.) He needs to respect the serverity of a sitution that required a restraining order to solve and cut off contact with your ex. Normally, I wouldn't say someone needs to choose between a friend and a crush, but when the law gets involved, that is a different story. Once agian, he needs to respect you, and the concerns of your parents, enough to end a friendship that very rightly, makes it impossible for you to hang out.
If this has been going on since before December, I'm afraid I don't hold out much hope of him doing either of these things. If he truly felt the kind of love and desire for you that he claims too, he probably would have already done both of these things. He hasn't. He doesn't want you that badly. He just isn't that into you. He just doesn't respect you that much.
I'm sorry. Please realize this crush is probably not going anywhere. Deal with your dissapointment, because I highly doubt 'fixing this' is going to happen.
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