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humorist-workshop

4 years, now what?


Question Posted Monday March 24 2008, 1:10 pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I am so overwhelmed with the whole engaged issue. I feel almost like everyone is getting engaged around me, and they have only been with these guys for a month, should I push the engagement issue on him or just sit back and watch these 1 year or even 6 month relationships evolve faster then mine is!

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Meggyboo answered Wednesday March 26 2008, 3:04 pm:
I believe you should not rush the engagement issue. The short relationships that are for like 6 months or so usually don't go so well once they are married although there are some that do. Maybe your boyfriend isn't ready yet or maybe he doesn't believe he has a good enough pay to support the wedding or possibly if you decide to have a family it might become a financial problem. If his pay is good then maybe he just needs a little more time.
-Good luck

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Rosie2000 answered Monday March 24 2008, 6:12 pm:
dont let them influence you and make you feel left out! your not alone.. your in a relationship and weither your engaged or not your still in the relationship..marriage is SUPOSE to last a life time.. dont let them rush you.. it shouldnt matter when it happens as long as your together right?.. anyways i hope this helps and you dont try to push an engagment.

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BitsandPieces answered Monday March 24 2008, 2:58 pm:
Friends should play no role in your relationship. That goes for now and down the road with other issues. A relationship is about the two people in it and no one else. Time together is one thing to factor in, but not the only thing to consider in making a commitment of marriage. Your ages, life goals, beliefs, the way you two cope with stress together and individually, your family backgrounds, psychological strength, emotional maturity, if you are both mentally healthy, and many other things will determine your success in this relationship.

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onebirddog2000 answered Monday March 24 2008, 2:46 pm:
You and your boyfriend will last longer that 3/4 of those people around you planning to get married. Plus marriage is wonderful. But it is just a piece of paper and a huge bill of a beautiful ceremony. Try to get engaged on your own terms and when you feel ready and he feels ready, and maybe you said something to him about not wanting to get engaged right away or maybe you can propose.

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Razhie answered Monday March 24 2008, 2:43 pm:
Do you want to get engaged and married? Right now?

Or do you want to jump off the bridge because everybody else is doing it?

Don't worry so much. Those relationships aren't evolving 'faster' then yours, only differently. Besides, what seems fastest isn't always better. A person jumping off said bridge will move faster then a Cheetah can run... but what good is that to them? The cheetah gets a meal, and the person goes splat.

Give yourself, and him, a break. Talk to him about the future and your plans together if you'd like, but no good ever came of 'pushing' for an engagement. Certainly even less good will come of it if the only reason you want one is because everyone else has one!

If something is important to you and your life plans, express it. If you just 'I wanna!' an engagement and wedding, keep that impulse to yourself.

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superstarblue89 answered Monday March 24 2008, 2:16 pm:
in all honesty...don't push an issue you may or may not be ready for...he may not be ready for it either. Just because you've been in a relationship longer doesn't mean that pushing engagement is the right thing to do. Those couples you are talking about probably wont even actually get married...or the marriage will probably end badly because they haven't spent enough time together to really know the in and outs of the other. You have a serious advantage on the relationship front. Sit back and enjoy it...don't rush anything.

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