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Violated.
14\F
Ive been going out with this boy named Eric for about 4-5 months now, and were always going on dates and everything and just this weekend [Saturday] I went over his house alone... well we've been kissing for a while but thats it I mean IM ONLY FOURTEEN and Eric put his hand up my shirt, and I donno if it's normal or not but I sorta freaked cuz its the first time anything besides kissing has happened to me.. and I was like Woah and he like continued so i was like oh umm im sorry but can you stop. So kinda mad I think he did, I let him"feel me up" on the outside of my shirt so he wouldn't get to mad, but then he tried un-buttoning my jeans and thats when I was like WOAH! What are you doing?? and he was like weve been going out for so long now why can't you go further then kissing me it's not like we'll have sex or anything.. and i donno I just didnt feel comfortable but I do like him. And I was like Im sorry.. and hes like You do like me dont you so I said yes! and he was like okay then. and Tried putting his hand up my shirt again then it was like No.. i dont feel comfortable ill just walk home and he got really mad at me. I tried telling him Crawling leads to walking, and Walking turns to running and I dont like running not yet atleast IM ONLY FOURTEEN!!! Well I feel violated right now, but then it's like would I have gone all the way if I let him? Would he have?? and I needed to talk to someone and my best friend Adam--yes it a boy was like WHAT and wanted to kill him but I made him promise not to. And this weekend oim going back over... and I dont want to go any farther then we did this weekend but I donno if Eric will accept that and I know if he doesnt break up with him but shouldnt I atleast do something? Like handjob? like satisfy him?? I dont want to.. but to make him happy I will... I donno what to do i really like him, and I dont know why I cant just let him do what he wants with me, but I cant... I know I cant.
and Im not a slut.. im only 14, I know ive dated him a long time but I thought he was happy with just kissing... now its like how long has he wanted this? Why didnt he tell me before? and Im just scared you know? Maybe I shouldnt go back to his house without a parnet and my and his parents are being super cool with letting me over because they do know! and I promissed my mom Id keep it PG-13...
Anything would be helpfull really.
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Tell him if he's gonna use you like that then tell him to go. Kick him to the curb! You are right for telling him no. If he makes you try to have sex with him then tell him im not ready and if he keeps pressuring you then he's just not for you.
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Seriously? Don't let him use the trick of saying "you do love me dont you?" no, thats retarded, just tell him something like "Yes i love you, im not ready for that" you dont know..even thou you've been dating him for that long, if he really loves you, HE WILL WAIT! otherwise...he might just be using you; im sorry to say that; but im being honest. im sorry. i hope everything goes good. and dont let him do anything you dont want him to do. That's not right. he trys to take advantage of you; do anything possible to stop him. that's just not right if your not ready.
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'To satasfy him' is NOT a reason to have sex or any kind of sexual activity.
Him being a horny little brat, is not your responsibility and it shouldn't be your 'problem' to deal with. You aren't ready for a sexual relationship, so his sexual desires are his problem, not yours.
You can't let him 'do what he wants with you' because that is well, slavery, or prostitution (or even rape) to simply allow someone to have thier way with you. That isn't what sex is about with someone you care for. That isn't even really consensual.
Just dump him now. Seriously. In this practicular matter is does not matter what his 'needs' are. You've already given him a second chance (by my count, you gave him three chances, and each time he continued to ignore your opinion and push things too far).
Yes, it is important that people express themselves in thier relationship, and it would have been far better if he spoken to your about what he wanted of this relationship, but he didn't. Instead, he showed you through his actions what he wanted, and did so in a way that not only disrespect you, but it sounds like very geuninely frightened you.
The time for compromise and dicussion has passed. Please just send this guy the clear message that discussion is in fact important, and that you truly mean what you say. Unless he comes to you with deep apologies and shame for his behavoir last time, dump him, because he just doesn't get it.
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Woww I reaaallyy like how you know your boundaries. Most girls would not say it.
Anyways, you should talk to him, and tell him your not ready yet, but you might be soon. If you want to go farther with him, then do it because your ready. Don't do it just so that you stay in a relationship with him. Then he's not worth it.
And you said you want to make him happy...doing sexual favors shouldnt make him happy. Well it should but it shouldn't be the only thing that does. He should enjoy being around youu!
Good luck with himm
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Okay first of all you never want to go any further than you are comfortable with. If you don't feel like you are ready for any of this then you shouldn't do it. You should never compromise yourself for a boy.
If he is going to be mad and break up with you simply because you have your morals then he isn't worth it. He needs to respect you and your boundries and you need to respect yourself too.
Hope I Helped!
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Well first of all,
If you dont feel like its right,
or have a gut feeling or just dont fee comfortable,
Dontttt.
The exact same thing happened to me too,
Im 14 and I really liekd this guy and he sort of liked me too, we werent going out but we were both making out and he tried putting his hand up my shirt, but I said no. Then he started unbuttoning my pants and I liked him so much that Ijust let him even though I really didnt want too. That was one of the biggest mistakes ever, and I hadnt done anything like that before, and now, long story short, we never talk and I found out hes just a jerk honestly. I know hes your boyfriend and he probably wouldnt do that too you, but your instinct is always usually right, so maybe you should talk to him about it. He might not get that your not comfortable and stuff about it, Guys are kind of clueless about those sort of things and the best way is just too tell them upfront about how you feel. And if he doesnt accept it, and trys to force you, then I know this sounds lame and people always say it, but its so true, he's not worth it. Just try to do or sort out things that would make you feel more comfortable about the situation first, until you dont have a bad feeling about it. And if you cant, Then hell have to wait. Dont give it all up just for him.
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You really should talk to him , with out kissing first so he will know your serious. Boys can sometimes get confused and take your signals and somthing totally differnt than what you actually mean . Tell him you dont want to move to the next level untill you feel comfortable and you feel like your ready to do WHATEVER. You dont have to satisfy him in anyway you dont want to. If all you feel comfortable with and want to do is kiss then , that is your right . And its your body ! Dont ever like a boy take advantage over you. If he keeps doing it and not respecting your feeling about it , you need to break it off.
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If you don't feel comfortable with something, than don't do it. I understand how you feel violated, because you were. Just because you like him doesn't mean you have to give yourself up to him. If he feels you up or touches you below the belt, it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to have sex. But if you don't feel like letting him touch you and if you don't feel like touching him, than don't do it. Try expressing your love to him in other, nonsexual ways and he should get it. If not, give him the boot.
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