|
I'm fallen for a guy but can't see a future.
I met this guy two months ago and he's searious about me, but I'm not sure if us in a relationship would work. The first problem is that I could never get myself to commit to anyone. He could be the best person I have ever known. We have great conversations (mostly about sports), he respects me completely, we practically have the same mind in most cases, and I feel like he's the only one that I could talk to about things no one else seems to understand about me. He's always there when I need him. As you can tell, this guy is great. So what is wrong?
The second thing about us is the distance thing. Yes, he's there for me when I want to talk, but we're still in two different places. He lives in NY and I live in Boston. At first it didn't get to me much because that's what drew us closer in a way. Our first conversation lasted hours about new york and boston sports teams. We were both very competitive, but loved it. I never laughed so much. Maybe this distance thing isn't bad for most people, but I'm not one of them. Neither of us plan on leaving our hometowns. It's our homes. And this thing we have hasn't gone long enough to even think so far down the line, but it's starting to bug me because we never see each other. Am I just finding excuses or is "relationship" just not good? Of course we're young, but I am at a loss because I really want this to work.
*18/f
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Theres 2 things you can do one you can be his friend and mabe in a couple years you can go out take it slow also then you will be able to see more of a future the only downfall is if someone else comes along..Or you could just go and vist him go on a couple of dates after a while of going out and you both think your ready both of you should make a compromise you should make a new home in a city that is between both of your hometowns make sure you dont push each other if you both love each other wait tell your ready to make this compromise.
I hope this advice can help your distance relationship...
]
Nothing will work out if you aren't interested in making it work out.
You are looking for reasons this will fail. You've basically said flat out that neither of you will compromise on your place of residence and that you believe you are incapable of a long-distance relationship.
That is okay. Actually, it's a raelly great thing that at such a young age you've discovered that some things are just 'Deal-breakers'. Some things you simply cannot live with. Rascism is a dealbreaker for me, so is wanting children actually, because I don't want children there is no reason to get deeply involved with someone who really does.
I wont compromise on children. I don't expect anyone else too either.
I know what I want from life, and some things don't fit in.
You know what you want from life, and long-distance relationships right now just don't fit in.
That's okay. Just be honest with yourself and with him. We can't always get what we really want.
]
Maybe an open relationship would work. There's no reason not to keep in touch with the guy, especially since you two get on so well. A halfway point seems like a good solution at this point. There's no hiding that the distance is bothering you. Maybe both of you could casually date other people just to see what's out there.
Be honest with him. If he is serious about you, but you don't feel the same way, you need to tell him. You don't have to put him out of your life forever, you're just not into committing at the moment.
It's only been two months. You might meet someone else that actually lives in your area that makes you happier. And if you don't find anyone else, then you'll know you still have him there.
]
More Questions: |