Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Age: 34
Member Since: July 15, 2007
Answers: 181
Last Update: June 24, 2009
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DangerNerd
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okay so i have this really really moody friend and i call her my "best friend" but she doesnt think that about me. infact she doesnt even want to be my friend. but i have done everything for her, i have protected her from rumors, i have fixed her relationship with her boyfriend multiple times, i have comforted her and givin her advice a whole lot, i have always been there for her when she had no one else to turn too. and to add to that she doesnt trust me alone with her boyfriend EVEN though hes ONLY my good friend. i mean i have helped them with their relationship. and the worst part is though i still want to be there for her and be her best friend. and i have no idea what to do? (link)
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Has she actually told you that she doesn't want you to be her friend? How do you know that?
If that's true then this that is HER loss. You seem like you're a wonderful friend that anyone would be lucky to have.
Friendship- like any relationship- should be a two-way street. If this "friend" doesn't give you the support that you give her then she's not really a friend at all.
In which case, you should reconsider your friendship with her and find someone who is a true friend. You deserve better.
I know it's hard to lose someone who you consider a good friend but it seems like the reality is that she was never really a friend to begin with.
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I am from South Africa
I am suffering depression and over dosing on tablets by the name of PAX-5. This is due to mcertain circumstances. I need help but cant afford anything. please help (link)
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I'm sorry for what you are going through. I've been there and I know how tough it is.
A couple of questions:
1. Are you SURE there is absolutely nowhere to get help there if you don't have the money? There aren't any suicide hotlines to call in emergency? No clinics or counselors who help low income people at all? I'm thinking that there's go to be SOMETHING.
2. Is there anyone who might know more about the resources in your area that can help? A school counselor, teacher, for example? Or even a any wise adult that you can trust to help you look for something? (I know it's hard to search on your own when you are that depressed, so try to get someone on your side).
3. You said this was related to a certain circumstance? You need to remove yourself from that situation- or get help for it if it's hurting you that badly. (I know it's easier said than done but make this a priority).
LAST BUT NOT LEAST- Always remember this acronym:
HALT !!
While it doesn't cure your depression it can at least help prevent things from getting to a more dangerous level.
HALT stands for not letting yourself get too:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Those things will make your depression worse.
But try to get some kind of help. I feel for you and wish you all the best.
RT
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Ok so my friend has just been dumped by her boyfriend after 20 months of bing together (im a guy 17 shes 17) shes my best friend but i jsut dont know how to give her advice :( i really want to make her think that life goes on she will eventually get over himn even though its going to be hard as hell, i was talking to her today she was in tears of course and much like every guy with a crying girl we have no fucking clue what to do or say, i really want to help her even if its the tiniest bit but i dont know how :( how do i give her advice? what should i keep in mind? how i do stay levl headed and not make my self so awkwardly uncomfortable when girls are like this. thanks for you time and effort and interest in my question (link)
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You DO know what to say you just don't know it.
Fact is, you already said it.
The best thing to do is be speak from your heart. Tell her what you just said here- feel bad, would like to help but don't know how, not sure if you could say anything that will make her feel better because the truth is that it will hurt for a while but she'll eventually feel better...
You said it all already! Just tell her that. The truth works wonders. She'll be happy enough just to see that you care- and anyway, sometimes just LISTENING helps.
You don't always have to have the answer.
RT
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Hello,
My ex-boyfriend (I think so, I do not consider that we are actually in a "relation" any longer) We still see each other,but things are very cold...while we were together we planned a vacation very far away...and we will go shortly (Im actually not so happy about it, but everything has been paid).
We were together for the first time over a year ago, he left and I didn't wait for him- I started another relationship (meanwhile he was always sending me SMS and trying to get to see me...never accepted) until few months ago, Then my problems started :( he was so nice until one day he told me that he's son was born few days ago (now 2 months old) I honestly wasn't so surprise. I accepted and supported him (the mom doesn't let him see the kid)
All more or less fine, until one day in a lunch with friends, somebody started making comments and after few cups of wine I lost it and told him that I was tired of all the situation, that he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and start being a father and taking responsibilities and stop feeling sorry of the whole situation.(that woman for some reason didn't want to marry him) After all that Drama at the lunch he called me names and tells me I am all sorts of horrible things. I don't think that is acceptable in the slightest, but I guess I DO, because I'm still with him, right? I have this state of mind that I am not all of the bad things he tells me I am, unless I stay with him... then I feel as if I have become those awful things. Which makes me feel like I deserve to hear everything he has to dish out. After all, why should he respect me when I don't even respect myself? Isn't that true?
I feel and Im afraid that I like him because he treats me bad? can that be possible? He's 40 and Im 30, I should know better than this? I was very when I was very young and I left my husband for mistreatment, but with him I just stand there listen and that's all I do!!! why?, then ofcourse when I come home I cry and ask myself what am I doing?
Thing is, I wouldn't stand for this behavior from anyone but him, and that is a fact I am sure of! I was taught manners, and I know the importance of respect. So why am I still with him?
He really just has a poor attitude. He is only mean to me when he loses his cool, but he is everything I've ever dreamed of when his temper is straight.
I feel like the most disgusting, pathetic excuse for a human being for admitting this, but..... I feel like I have nothing better to run to... and I really HATE being alone :(
He always has bad comments about my job, friend, my salary EVERYTHING! If he has nothing good to say about me, why is he still around?
(link)
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First off- do NOT feel bad for admitting that you have a problem. There is no shame in that. Many people are in bad situations that they never get out of because they CAN'T admit that they have a problem.
So be proud of yourself for recognizing that something is wrong.
Now, the hard part...you KNOW something is wrong, but are you willing to DO something about it?
My advice to you is that you need to:
a) Not worry about being alone. Maybe you NEED to be alone for a while until you can build back up your self-esteem, self-respect and get yourself on a better path. It may seem comforting to have someone around, but the reality is these guys are only bringing you DOWN. You'd do better on your own.
b) You need to dump this guy. At a minimum, he is emotionally abusive. And you are way too good for this guy. And don't worry about the vacation. See if you can sell it to someone or something. But get rid of this guy.
c) Try to find some counseling or even get some self-help books, whatever to find out why you have a pattern of getting with men that treat you like dirt. Why is your self-respect so low? You need to get to the root of the problem and deal with it.
If you suffered abuse as a child or something that could be a reason. And if you don't confront it and adopt some healthier approaches you will continue with the same pattern over and over.
You are way better than this! And you need to believe that. The change starts with YOU. You're absolutely right- no one will respect you if you don't respect yourself.
You can do it. Best of luck to you.
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i m ria from india.i hav thick hair om my upper lips. i havent touched them yet.before that wud lik 2 know whats best-laser or threading??what are their side effects?how many times is threading required once started?thanks in advance. (link)
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I think waxing worst best for things like that. It's easy to do on your own too if you need a last minute remedy or prefer to keep these things private. Plus- you can get a whole strip off with just one go and be done with it.
I've heard mixed reviews from laser treatment. Some say it works and some say it doesn't. Even if it does though, you need to get it repeatedly, then it MIGHT go away permenantly.
I've never heard of threading being permenant. It's basically just a different way of plucking. You'll still need it done all the time.
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I have been in a relationship with my partner for 2 years.
I love him very much, but I feel hes not paying me enough attention, which I feel has lead me into the big mistake I made 2 days ago.
I have been flirting with his best mate for quite some time, even though I don't really know him, now regardless of what anybody thinks of me, its NOT like me atall, I have never cheated on a partner before and have never even had the urge too, but for the last year, me and my boyfriends relationship has been very rocky, & I feel we have grown very distant, and its almost like I hate him being around, but miss him when hes not.
He has been neglecting me in many ways, however if I tease him or get naked, suddenly he perks up & is all ears & eyes for me...
Basically things went a little too far with his best friend two days ago.
I had a miscarriage just over a week ago, and my partner didnt want a baby, but due to the fact it happened, eventually he agreed to stick by me, but all the stress, turned a threatened miscarriage into a full on miscarriage, and since then I have been very very down.
I turned to his best mate because my partner didn't care that the baby was gone, he was almost happy! and things went from a cuddle to me playing with him.
I regret it but then again, I still feel the need to do it again! Inside I kind of know that if my partner was giving me the love and attention I deserve as his girlfriend, then I would not have any need to go elsewhere. This is a dangerous game and I am very nervous as his mate still comes over ALL the time. I don't know what to do now, I do not want to lose my partner, but I don't wanna lose his best mate as my mate...has anyone else been in this situation? I really need to know where to go next with this one. Thanks (link)
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First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That's a tragic thing to go through. And whether either of you wanted the child or not is irrelevant, it's still not a pleasant situation and he should have been there for you.
The fact that your partner wasn't there for you at a time like that is terrible. He does not seem to be meeting your emotional needs at all.
And to be perfectly frank, you don't seem happy with him. It sounds more like you are just so used to him being around- and I think you want someone around- but maybe not him.
What you did with the friend was probably not the best decision and I understand your guilt / regret. But don't beat yourself up about it. I think you just really needed some emotional support and you weren't getting it.
But what's done is done. You need to try to move forward and get to a place where you can really be fulfilled- and I don't mean just sexually.
That might mean finding someone who can be a true friend as well as a sexual partner.
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I was jsut wondering what it would take to move to the US from Brasil. How long is the process? How much does it cost? Any info helps. Could I get a job and go to college there.
Thank you! (link)
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You can definitely go to college here but international tuition is usually like triple the price of a state resident. It can be pretty costly. Public universities are always cheaper than private ones. And different states are more expensive than others too. So you really need to look around.
You can check out colleges in areas or fields you are interested in and they list their tuition online. They will also tell you what they application deadlines and requirements are. That will give you an idea of how long it will take.
Another option is to do some of your studies at a community college. They are usually cheaper and easier to get into. But you can usually just get an associates degree there not a full college degree (that takes 4 years).
Miami might interest you. There is a huge latin community here and the cost of living isn't that high. Miami dade community college is huge and I think they DO offer 4 year degrees there.
Texas also has a cheap cost of living and inexpensive schools- also a big latin community.
But your decision should also be based partly on what field of study you are interested in since different schools have different programs.
As far as jobs, I'm pretty sure you can get a job while you're here on a student visa, if that's what you mean. It won't be a high-paying job probably, but it can help.
To get a high-paying job in the US you really should have a college degree so I would definitely go to school if you can. Besides, the economy is not good right now for looking for jobs.
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My question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlmICTTlERMizmD.IXus9ODsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090521142519AAgNJlh
:( Please answerrr here or there. (link)
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Whoa! That was one long rant! I can really sense your frustration and I'm sure it's hard for you right now- as it is for all teens. (Trust me even the ones you think having everything going for them have pains too)...
Anway- listen, you've got to be strong and take the reigns here. You're letting your life run YOU instead of you running your life!
You're waiting for something to happen or 'hoping' it will happen when you need to go out and MAKE things happen.
I know that sounds easier than it is but you can do it! Find some other interests. There have to be other things that you like besides volleyball and music. What other kinds of hobbies can you do? Are there any clubs at school or in your town that interest you? If not, you can start one of your own.
How about classes- like sports, art, intruments, anything?!!
There has to be something! Everyone has got their own unique talents and interests. You just need to find yours and get out there- get involved!
I KNOW that it is hard. Us older people have all been there and most of us would never want to go back. You're at an age when you're trying to find out who you are, a lot is changing and you're unsure of yourself. That's normal.
But you need some confidence. Find some things that you like and you are good at. If one thing doesn't work out, just laugh it off and try something else. But don't give up! There's something for everyone. You'll find it. I promise. Keep your head up. And just get out there and do things, talk to people.
If they act like a jerk to you then that's THEIR problem. If they don't, well, see if you have something in common and you just might have a new friend.
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I’m still really young, but I want to have a baby! I’ve been sexually active for about a year and have had unprotected sex at least 3 times. Each time, I always think I’m pregnant, and get overly excited at the idea of being a mother and having a little baby girl or boy to take care of. My mom waited until she was 30 to start having kids, and honestly I think it’s stupid. My mom and I don’t get along at all and have absolutely no level of communication, and my theory is its because she’s so much older than me. I think that if we were a little closer in age, we might be close. But right now I can’t stand her.
I asked a question on here a few months ago about how I wanted to have a baby really badly, and someone told me I had a “baby bug”, which I know isn’t a real virus, but I know I have it again. I just found out yesterday I’m not pregnant and have been severely depressed since then. Every baby commercial I see makes me cry and just now, even watching Sailor Moon and Serena’s “daughter” Reeni upset me deeply and I had to turn it off. My ideal age to have a baby is 15, but I didn’t get pregnant around that time, and now I’m 16 and obviously still not pregnant. I’m getting really annoyed with myself. There are more important things to get upset over than whether or not I’m gonna have a baby at 16, but I’m so worried I’m not able to get pregnant! I just want to have a baby now and get it over with, rather than wait until I’m old and more likely to be not as close to my future daughter or son. I’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about this, but he doesn’t understand. And my two closest friends don’t understand because neither of them want children and think I’m being ridiculous! I don’t know what to do.
16/f (link)
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First- As strongly as you feel about having a baby I can tell already that you and your child will be very close no matter what age you are when you have them. So wait a while.
Second- I'm sorry but I have to be blunt here- If you think that you can just have a baby at 16 and everything will be blissful you are kidding yourself!
Do you know what kind of jobs a high school dropout gets? (If you can even get ANY job in this economy!) And do you know how much those jobs pay?
Do you know how much a baby costs? Childcare?
Do you realize that this will pretty much be then end to your friends / social life (or ANY kind of life for that matter other than trying to keep food on the table.)
I KNOW I KNOW what you think you want but I don't know if you've fully thought this through.
My mom got pregnant at 16 and has regretted it ever since. It was clear that she wished she never had us kids and she wanted what she missed out on.
Don't make yourself OR your kids go through that.
Go talk to a teen mom before you make a HUGE decision like that.
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14/f
Ok if you looked at the title, obviously, its about cutting. I cut myself. I've been cutting since the beginning of 8th grade. I'm in 9th now. I stopped off and on in 8th grade and I only did my wrists. I stopped for awhile after that cause my friends saw and they sorta helped me.
Then beginning of freshman year I started again. I have stuff going on so I'm doing this for no reason. I think you would know that though.
Then I stopped for a couple months and I started cutting my ankles since no one saw there. Then a couple months I've been cutting myself everyday. I got really bad on this. I started cutting my ankles, waits, wrists, legs, arms, shoulders, and mostly my thighs. I know I should stop but I don't know how. It does make me feel better and it helps me get through the day. I'm 14 and ruining myself. What should I do?
Lastly, I want to know if anyone else has ever gone through this here. And if they were around my age. And if I'm crazy.
My parents never knew about this. But I had a bad influence on my younger brother. He did it once and my parents found out but they didn't really do anything. But its weird how you'll do it to yourself but you start crying when someone else you know does it. Like my friends have done it before and I found out after I started doing it to myself last year.
Thanks, please help. (link)
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The question you should be asking yourself is how come you can't feel the same way for yourself that you do for others?
You mentioned that you cried when someone else did it. I'm sure your parents would feel the same way about you.
The other responder is right- you need to find out what is behind this and get some help. Talk with your parents if you can. If not, at least a counselor at school.
I've cut before but haven't done it in years. I did it before when I felt "stuck" in a painful and hopeless situation.
I had one counselor that gave me a pretty good tip though- get some big rubberbands and put them around your wrist. When you have the urge to cut pop them. It'll sting! Just like the sting you get when you cut.
HTH
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16/f
ok sooo... im starting to think theres something wrong with me. i have a very hard time showing emotions. no one would ever really be able to tell because i am always acting so happy and loud and hyper. but this is kind of an over animated version of me.
i kind of act like im really emotional but really im not, i just act how i have seen other people act but i do it 10X more. im truthful 2 my ex boyfriend about how i dont care about much and he said maybe i am emotionally detatched or something. i know i definately dont know myself at all either.
we'll be like watching a movie about 3 year olds in romania that weigh 2 pounds and are beaten n stuff n it wont phase me whatsoever. everyone else in my class was crying and i just sat with a shocked look on my face because thats what i see other people do. like at times i dont know what emotion im supposed to be feeling. but i didnt care at all. this happens alot and i hardly ever talk to my parents and even though they yell at me about how i ignore them n stuff, it still doesnt phase me at all. sometimes im irratable and sometimes im really happy. but at other times i dont care at all and i have a hard time showing remorse. i dont really know whats wrong with me and no one except my ex understands how i feel and how i just dont care.
anyone know whats wrong with me? (link)
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You answered this question yourself. Though you probably didn't even realize it.
Two things that you said stood out to me:
1. "i dont know what emotion im supposed to be feeling."
2. "i am always acting so happy"
The key here is that you said you don't know how you are "supposed to" feel. And that you "act happy".
I think- like most people your age- you may not be sure at how you are "supposed to" act, or maybe worried about how you want to be perceived so you are trying (maybe too hard) to either connect / disconnect from your OWN, true emotions in order to do what is "right".
I also see a hint of a "people pleaser" in you. Maybe that's why you "act happy". Everyone likes to be around a happy person so you put on that act. The problem there though is that you please everyone but yourself!
My advice: just be confident enough to be yourself!
That doesn't mean that if you're feeling down you act like a downer ALL THE TIME, but try to let the real you come out. People do like happy people but they like people that are GENUINE too! :)
HTH
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of one of my best friends is thinking about commiting suicide i love her so much as a sister and i never want her to do anything like that can you please give me advice on how to stop her i dont want to put her therough counseling it will only make it worse (link)
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YOUR FRIEND NEEDS HELP. PERIOD. Don't worry about her being mad, or if counseling will make her worse (let the professionals decide that). Tell her parents, or the guidance counselor at school if you can't bring yourself to tell her parents. In any case, a responsible, caring adult should know.
And if you feel there's a real danger, don't hesitate to call 911. I know that's very hard to do- but like you said, it's a life or death situation, which means, making tough decisions. And by the way, it is NOT TRUE that people that talk about suicide don't follow through and / or they just want attention. That's a myth. If she's talking about it, you need to take action, the sooner the better.
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I am an attractive guy (35) and she's an attractive lady (28) but I'm forced to initiate sex 9 of 10 encounters and when she attempts to initiate lately I don't take her seriously to the point where I'll brush her off saying, "you're joking, right", then go about my business. She likes sex early in the evening whereas I like late nite romps, I enjoy sex to music, she likes to play the television while I try to sleep, she insists that I go places with her when I'm tired from working 2 jobs about 4 days per week while she works one job maybe one time per week, etc. We're polar opposites in many ways but my main question has to do with how I can explain to her that even as a guy I would like to be treated as an attractive man and have her initiate on an equitable basis. (link)
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My advice would be not to take it personally or feel she doesn't find you attractive, etc. just because she's not initiating. Some women have just grown up with it ingrained in them that the guys make the moves- and this is reinforced by movies, family, whatever. And some may not just be they type to initiate, ya know? Just like some people are leaders and some are followers.
So please, don't take it to mean anything more than that- because chances are that that's what is going on. But you can talk to her honestly and positively encourage her by saying how much it means to you when she initiates and that you'd like her to do it more often.
PS- also keep in mind that many women have much lower libidos than men and this could be a cause too. She may not have a problem if you start and get her going, but may need someone to rev her up, so to speak.
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when is it considered not being a " virgan " r u still a virgan if only the girl has an orgasim and not the boy ? do both people have to finnish to have sex ? or is it if one person does ur both not virgans haha im confused :/ please help me figure out if i am still a virgan haha :] (link)
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sorry, i was sick so that's why I couldn't answer sooner. Once you have sexual penetration you are no longer a virgin, regardless of who orgasms or not. PS- oral sex and touching like fingering is generally not considered sex (losing your virginity). Hope this clears it up.
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okay well, its long... but basic form is fast...
josh is my current boy, brandon is my x-boy.
in basic form: josh skrewed some girl while going out with me and i have him admitting it on recording but i havnt said anything to him yet, and brandons step dad wants to do everything he can to mess my life up and upset me and my family. and now that brandons coming back i dont know what to do... help please! please. brandons coming back into my life again in a week.
in long form:
josh and i have always had a thing but had never gone out. brandon and i had gone out, and we where going out untill brandon got locked up. at first it was okay, we sent eachother letters, but then we couldnt anymore. so i broke up with him. i loved brandon so much he ment everything to me. i thought he was the one, the one i was gunna marry. anyways, josh started making moves on me while brandon was locked up, somehow he wone me over even though i voued to stay with brandon. i started going out with josh and it was awesome. we have been going out since january. now brandon is getting out in about a week, im so skrewed because im still head over heals for him. he had my friend that got out on a pass from being locked up call me and tell me that brandons still in love with me. (and im still oviously in love with him)
but get this...
this person that called me also let me listen to a recording of my current boy, josh when he was drunk and he admitted skrewing my friend sara! and he said that he would do it again. i havnt said anything to him yet but oh my is he going to get hell. and my parents dont like him because hes not white (im white.) No matter what, i still love josh because i gave it up to him and that means that much more. its hard for me to believe he did another girl because hes always checking if im messing around with other guys.
and brandon, his dad called my parents and tried to skrew up my life by telling them terrible lies about me and saying that brandon didnt want anything to do with me although it isnt true. but my parents dont like brandon either because hes been locked up.
i dont know what to do. i loved brandon, he ment everything to me. when he got locked up i cried evey day for about 4 or 5 months. i cried all day long- just randomly durring school, durring cheer and when i got home. finally josh fixed that hole for me, i mean its not like he replaced brandon, he could never do that but, he helped me forget and keep living my life. i started being so happy with josh too! and now this. this is so messed up its rediculous.
i need to know what to do about brandon and josh. also i need to know what to do about sara.
i was thinking just to doubble check everything i should go up to sara in school and be like, i know you did my boyfirend sara, i thought we where friends. well you have about 5 minutes to tell me everything and say your sorry before i never want to talk to you again and lable you the whore who did my boyfriend... orr i was thinking about going to josh's mom and asking her what to do. even though shes my boys mom she would tell me straight up.
i am trying to tell you everything i can so i can get the best answer.
help please, please.
im so sorry this is long too. (link)
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This is a pretty crappy situation, but you need to ask yourself how you got there. I think that's even MORE important then figuring out how to get out of what you're in. Because honestly, it sounds like you're dating the same guy over and over again. And your 'friend' doesn't sound that great either.
You need to find some better people to hang out with and start making some better choices or you will keep finding yourself in the same situations. Figure out what kind of person YOU want to be first- in other words, what are your values? Your priorities in life? What's most important to you? To be an honest person? A caring person?...etc.
Then only surround yourself with people who have the same values. It's hard to find good people, but it's way better to have one or 2 real friends then to have 10 not so good friends, or worse. Same thing with guys, it's better to be on your own and wait to find a decent guy then to be with a jerk who will just cause you grief.
Don't bother with this kind of people anymore. You deserve better.
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I just feel really down and my aunt is so rude to me and I never defend myself and I'm just feeling down.
can anyone motivate me or help make me feel good about ymself and try to motivate me to stand up to her?
She calls me and my siblings fat when we're a size zero and the skiniest ones in my class and she makes fun of our clothes when we're one of the mos stylish girls in school! (link)
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Your aunt is verbally abusive. It's no wonder you feel down with all that negativity around you. Are you living with her? Is there any way to stay away from her? Are your parents around? You didn't state what the situation was, but you need to try to spend as little time with her as possible. And I would suggest talking to a school counselor to see what you can do to get out of this situation. It is not a healthy situation to be in. And another thing, don't believe anything she says- I know that's hard to do, but try to understand that people that do that are sick. And they can make you sick to if you swallow their poision. Don't take it, every time she says something like that, tell yourself the exact opposite. And please, try to stay away from her.
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I've been playing soccer for the last 8 years. I've been on a select team for 5 or 6 years. My mom never supports me. She says I suck at soccer & I'm not aggressive & I'm the worst player in my city. It really hurts because I try so hard to show her that I actually have skills. All my friends say I'm one of the best players and they say I'm the best right wing they've ever met. And a lot of people don't make the select team, and I've made it every year. I've made it when people 2 years older than me haven't. So why does my mom say I'm horrible?
Oh yeah, and she says my sister is awesome at softball when her coach doesn't even know her name & it's only her second year and she can barely hit.
Ugh!! (link)
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I had a mom like that so I can relate. I don't know the reason she is doing that since I don't know your mom- but whatever the reason, that's a terrible thing to do. I'm sure in her own mind she doesn't realize how she's hurting you (maybe she even thinks she's helping somehow by making you tougher or something) but I'm sure that's not how it feels to you! So maybe you should tell her how much it hurts you, how hard you're working and that it would mean a lot to you to have her support. Maybe then she'll realize that she can help you more by SUPPORTING you, not by putting you down. As for your sister, your mom sounds like the type of person that likes to route for the underdog...she doesn't see you as an underdog but your sister is, so that's why she acts the way she does. Again, I don't know her, but that's what it sounds like.
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almost 15/f
I go to a boarding school, I just got here like 2 days ago...
and the thing is- i'm already feeling homesick. Everyone here already knows eachother and I'm practically the only freshman!
I'm not preppy or shallow or anything but EVERYONE ELSE IS!!!! that's what makes me so uncomfortable with the people here.
any advice about how to not feel homesick is appreciated.
all the guys here are gay, but the ones who aren't gay are taken.
:( (link)
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That doesn't sound like a lot of fun! But don't worry, it will get better. You sound like you're a little more mature then some of the other kids there (i.e.- not being shallow..) so maybe that's part of the problem. It's just a matter of you finding some like-minded people. One way to do this is to start your own club. If there's something you're interested in - art, the environment, animals, whatever- find some other people that are interested in this and start your own thing. I did it when I was in h.s. and it was probably the only thing that saved me from going crazy. I met some great people and we had something to focus on other then the trivial things that teens normally worry about- something that really matters!
Sometimes writing helps too- like a journal or poetry. You can get the feelings out and once you do sometimes when you see it on paper you realize it's not as big of a deal as you thought...or you may find out that you're worried about something different that you thought.
My guess is that things will get better soon though.so just hang in there.
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I'm curious.
About birth control. If you have finished the peach /placebo pill week and start a new packet on a sunday. Can you have sex that day? I always use a condom but would the pill protect me and how long does it take?
I've been taking the pill for 6 months so I know it takes at least a month to regulate. But how long does a single pill take.. to.. take effect? Hours.. or a whole week? Would it be wise to take the pill and have sex when you're supposedly on your period? Will the pill stop it?
I know.. too many questions
I really want to be protected. (link)
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This may not be the answer you were looking for, but sorry I have to be honest. If I were you I'd still use a condom- even on the pill.
Here's why: 1. the pill is not 100%, especially if you accidently skip a day or something. 2. the pill does not protect against any kind of STD. And I'm not just talking about AIDS here, there are many others that are very common- herpes, gonarrhea, just to name a few. Some there are no cure for- if you get it, you have it for life! And some can even make you sterile- i.e.- you won't be able to have kids.
You sound like you're very educated so you probably know that already, but just thought I'd remind you. In my opinion, it's not worth the risk. I've had friends in h.s. / college that this happened to (of course they thought it never would happen to them) but it did and they were devastated. One girl was living with a guy for over 3 years, they planned on getting married and everything and she thought she could trust him. He cheated on her and gave her an STD. So you can never be too careful.
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ok...so i used to smoke while i was in high school but i quit 2 years ago. well i have been stressed lately and today, on my way to work, i bought a pack of ciggarettes and smoked two today. I feel bad cuz i have not told my bf and i dont want him to know. I feel sneaky and like a liar but if i told him he would be mad at me. Its not like i plan on smoking for a long time...just occasionally to help me with stress (when he isnt around). is it wrong of me? what should i do? (link)
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Take some advice from someone who smokes, your worry shouldn't be whether your boyfriend knows or not. The more important thing is finding a better coping technique to deal with your stress. The last thing you want is to become addicted to smoking. And before you say I won't, consider this: everyone that starts smoking thinks they are just going to have one or two. Then that becomes three or four....and so on. So do yourself the favor and just don't have the one or two. In other words, stop now while you can, before you just have another problem to worry about!
Instead try to figure out what it is that's stressing you and address this problem. If the problem can't be fixed, work on some healthier ways to deal with it. Trust me please, I started smoking when I was your age and I wish I had someone that made me quit before I got as addicted as I am.
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