about

I joined this site when I was very young (hence the ridiculous username) but now I feel I'mn old enough to give out advice.

Ask me anytime. I have had my fair shares of family issues, as well as good at solving relationship problems.

advice

a butch looking woman was looking at me. What are some reasons why a lesbian would stare at a guy?

I'm sure her being a lesbian has nothing to do with her staring at you.

People stare at people. They can be wierd, they can be daydreaming about something, they may not be aware. I'm sure she was not fantasizing about you.

Next time, just ask her?

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Hey Im 16 and a senior in highschool. I met this guy in an interschool competition. He's the same age but is a senior in some other school. We started talking after the competition and became good friends. We have gone out on three dates till now. And yeah, we have kissed each other and made out a little. We cannot resist each other at all. And hence the makeouts were a mutual desicion. I am falling for him. But the problem is that even though he says he is falling for me, he keeps on telling me he cannot date me cause he's a bad guy and he cares for me too too much to hurt me. He says he is not one of those dateable guys who will love their girl completely and he might find a new girl and dump me.That would hurt me and he doesnt want to do that! He hasnt had a past record of cheating or anything it's just that he tells me he wants to be sure before he asks a girl out that he will be completely loyal to her and not flirt around with other girls. He also liked this girl a year back and he says he feels guilty that he got over her and fell for me! But when we meet we actually act like we are dating, cause he gets me stuff, he tells me he loves me, we hold hands. we actually act like a couple in love. we also talk all the time. I dont know what to do. Because I really want to be with him. But cant figure out how to make him ask me out? and if he is really a bad guy? HELP.

If he is telling you don't date him because he will find a girl and dump you that is enough to tell you to STAY away. If you thinking you will hurt now if you decide to stay away from him, think how ten times worse it will be if you kept seeing eachother and then he just went off with another girl.

he can get you stuff, he can tell you he loves you but he can't give you truly what you want - a relationship. Don't waste your time on someone you can't have. It's best to get out now before it's too late.

You can't make him ask you out, and you certainly can't change a person - you haven't even been seeing him that long, what's different about you that is going to change his ways

It hurts but let it go. Be friends but I think it's best not to pursue it further. It will end in tears! I can't tell you what to do, and I don't expect you to listen, but I just want you to know what could happen.

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So I have been in plenty of relationships before, but never have I made out with a guy yet. But now I have this really amazing boyfriend, and I don't know what to do! We have been dating for like three months now, and I know hes going to try to make out soon, but I am SOO nervous. I dont want to do anything wrong because I really like him. Can someone pleaseeeee give me advice!! Oh and I am female and 15.

Can I just say, I remember when this was me!

You know when I first dated a guy and things, we were sitting down etc etc, I looked away , I must of been watching tv or something and as I looked up, he just suddenly kissed me, and it goes from there.

You don't know when it is first going to happen, it's funny, it's when you least expect it!

I guarantee you nothing will go wrong, and he will be nervous too. But it's a great experience and there is no need to be worried as there is no right way of doing things. Making out for the first time is such an adrenaline rush, and you don't need to be nervous at all. Just keep close to him, kiss, hug him loads, he will soon pick up you'd like to makeout and then that will essentially give him the boost to make the "move"

good luck!

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ok so im 13 and this guy asked me out but i really really like this other guy too who is very seems very sweet and nice and charming and funny but the other guy seems nice and cool and flirty with me so i dont know what to do?

If you don't know. Say no to either of them and don't try to flirt with them because what would happen if you choose one and then realise you were wrong?

Do you really like them? Or is because they both have an interest in you?

I know you may hear this all the time, but you have all the time in the world to date. TRUST ME when I say you know when you like someone, like fairy tale-happy ending- like someone. Your mind won't have to make a decision, your heart will have already done it.

You can always tell the guy who asked you out that you need some time, you don't need to go into detail, just say you need to make the right decision. This way you can do what's best for you

Good luck

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I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because there were many arguments, not really big issues but it seemed right at the time. We texted back and forth after the break up, at first he was devastated, but after a while he agreed with the breakup. This upset me because I ended it but I still end up getting more hurt than him, I guess I hoped he would try to convince me to stay. Out of anger I said "F!@* you, don't text me ever again". He didn't text me since. I would like to try and get back together but is that even possible at this point? Should I reach out to him? What should I even say?

I think you need to explain why you said what you said.

I understand you are angry that he didn't fight for the relationship, but there are so many reasons why he may not have fought - maybe he wanted what was best for you - after all you were the one that broke up with him. He may have just "agreed" that it was best because you suggested it in the first place and he didn't want to show how really cut up he is about it.

Go talk to him. I think you should apologise for swearing, and speaking out of anger and tell him you regret it. Explain why you wanted to break up, and how you felt he didn't react the way you wanted to and it stung. See how he feels and what he says. Once those thoughts are out of your head and off your chest, suggest you'd like to try again, prehaps take things slow.

I can't tell you if he will agree with you, I don't know how much damage is there. But ask yourself do want him back because the reasons you broke up with him don't matter anymore and you love him or is it because you you didn't get the reaction you wanted and you now feel alone.

I means what's changed, it's a big decision to end a relationship so why do you want him back? I'm not trying to be negative, I just don't want you to make a decision that isn't right for you, or him either.

You guys have been together long enough to be honest. Just talk to him and explain. That's all you need to do - and then take it from there, from how he responds.

Good luck

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so the musical this year is les miserables and im having trouble choosing a song! i need the song to be similar to the music in les mis also im an alto but i can sing all saprano notes too. im open to all suggestions!

Daddy's son - ragtime

this is a fabulous song to represent pain and a great vocal range

but i personally would choose in his eyes from jekyll and hyde because it's a similar song to "on my own" from les mis.

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Well one more thing before I ask what about the girl that's my friend. What if he tells or shows her my text because he did before about some other girl. And he wrote a whole note about the dance thing it was because he didn't think he should go because he just switched schools and other people would be all like yeah and he was like at the end of the note again I'm really sorry I really would and you would be a fun date maybe we could go to some other dance. But homecoming past and he went with one of his friends from my school I didn't go because I had other stuff.

Hey you!

Why would it matter if he showed it to her? I mean all your asking is how he is. It sounds like he does respect you and did want to go the dance with you - so if you eventually did ask him what went wrong, he should keep it confidential.

However, if he does show a private message to another girl, it just goes to show one main quality he lacks is trust, which would demonstrate he may have never been right for you.

Send it anyway, do it for you. This message is for you.

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I cant go to the gym and its cold outside so I cant jog or run. I know I have to eat healthy, but what kind of exercise can I do to help me lose weight?

I can easily lose weight in the summer and during times that i can get out and run... Is it possible I can lose 20 pounds during the winter time?

You can lose a lot, but you do need to be disciplined to reach that kind of target.

I know you say it's cold outside so you can't jog or run but I run in the cold - you're not going to be cold because your constantly pumping blood round your body. Infact, when I run in the cold, it feels great because you feel sweaty and it cools you down. It's not until you get back home, the sweat just appears out of nowhere then your drenched all of a sudden. It's comfortable to run in the cold. ( I think anyway, give it a go! :) )

I love to swim, it keeps your body trim too which is great. So if you have a spare £4 just go for a swim if you can.

I also take a weekly zumba class. ( which are again about £5 for an hour, everyone is there for the same thing, so it's a good positive vibe)If you go on the official website, you can put your post/zip code in and they will tell you where the closest one is, and they are pretty cheap too. If you have no money, I'd download or buy the zumba tracks and dance around at home. When I have no money I find zumba instructor on youtube and I get it up on my laptop and follow them - zumba is so great, I've lost tonnes!

www.zumba.com

Also if you are watching tv, during adverts and things try to do about 50 sit ups, you'd only be sitting down. I also try to walk further, so instead of driving or catching the bus to a shop, I try to walk it instead.

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Well your advice has been the best I have been asking that same kinda question and noone has helped me the way you tried. I thanks you for that. But I'm scared to message him. I'm frightened of rejection or whatever it's called when he doesn't respond back. And yes it did fizzle out. When school started last year I had a math class with him(he's a year older) we sorta talked but he didn't talk to me as much. I knew he still cared about me because when I needed something he would get it. But it was just a little awkward and he stopped texting me he use to text me everyday until school. And then the beginning of second half he had French with me. And I asked him to the sweethearts dance a week later he gave me a note that said I'm sorry etc etc. But Im switching schools and I don't think I would be able to go and an explanation about stuff. But I tried texting him one night about twomonths after he was gone we talked for a little but he stopped responding. Sorry I'm bothering you about this but I really appreciate you.

I can understand you are frightened of rejection. But rejection from what? You aren't asking for a date, you aren't asking him to do anything for you - you are just seeing how he is.

I think it's sad it fizzled out - especially as it could of been something, maybe it can still be something, or maybe it won't be. Did you ask him why he didn't want to go to the sweethearts dance? This is a horrible thing to say but maybe he doesn't feel the same anymore - due to him distancing himself from you and not wanting to attend the dance with you. But I can't tell you how he feels. For all I know he could still really like you, he just feels awkard like you do too.

Like I said, message him. If you don't get a reply or answer you were looking for - take it is a positive. You can't get over him because it didn't end badly, it just slowly went away. If you don't get the message you want, yes it may sting a little - but then you would known the truth and will be able to move on. I know you say you can't get over him but it is because you haven't had the closure. If he doesn't reply or you don't get the answer you want it will sting, but then you go through certain emotional phases. You will be hurt, then you will get angry at the fact you've "wasted" your time, then you may destest him, then you feel like you don't need a guy, and then eventually you will feel like yourself again.

Talking to him is the only way to either find out if he is interested, and if he isn't anymore - that will allow you to move on. Because right now all your wondering is what could of been. And when you soon find out the answer, you won't be wasting your time wondering and feeling down. You'll either be on a great high because he wants to talk to you, or you'll be on the road to recovery.

Rejection hurts but you can't move on until you know.

It's strange he just stopped talking to you, especially as you put a lot of effort in to trying to keep friends. And you don't need to worry about "bothering me". You aren't - it's what I'm here for, honest. Please, please just let me know what happens, someone's gotta be here for you, especially if you can't talk to anyone about it xx

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I'm 15f I've like this guy and we met through this group priest thing. And we hung out everyday when we were with the group we flirted soooo much it was the closest I've ever gotten to a guy becauseive never had a bf and never had my first kiss. And we almost kissed. Now all I ever think about is him and I do like other guys it's just he's allways in my head I've tried to talk to him again like last march but it's like awkward he use to go to my school. But then he switched to a public school not to far away. I feel trapped I want out if I can't have him. And I can't share this with anyone bc it's been so long and I haven't told my friends that I still like him so itd be weird and if I try to talk to him. I know he'll tell this girl who was in the group that I'm friends with but I lied to her about being over him. And she lives kinda by him so he will talk to her about stuff how this one girl always bothers him (not me) and then that girl tells me what he says. I'm trapped help me please tell me what to do I cry about this sometimes.and no I can't see a therapist.

I'm a little confused as to why you guys don't speak anymore - is it only because he switched schools?


You arent't over him, and what I think you need to do is talk to him. Whether it's for closure, so you can find out what he felt, or whether it's to get things back on track, you should.

You have a reason to - why don't you ask him why the both of you don't talk, you can even say it in a casual way, you can message him and just say "hey you, I haven't spoken to you in a while, why is that? How have you been". A simple, harmless message like that can maybe give you the answers, or perhaps closure you were looking for. Normally I don't advise people to go back into their past, but both of you didn't end negatively, it just fizzled away - and there is no reason why you can't bring that fizzle back! So just send him a message. You have nothing to lose. Trust me.

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im12 i just got a boy friend 1or2 weeks ago and his little sister is my only girl friend / best friend and shes mad because i'm spending more time playing with him and not her.witch one should i choose mbest friend or boy friend and i dont want to break up with him ill just stop hanging out with him instead ill play with her

you don't need to choose between them, you just need to find the right balance.

When you make a plan to with your friend, you need to make it clear that you are there to hang out with her - so if you are at their house, acknowledge him, but your focus is on your friend. Have a word with your boyfriend and tell him that when you are with his sister, you want to spend time with her, ask him to understand - I'm sure he will.

If the sister is still feeling angry, ask her for to come round to yours or hers for a sleepover? Explain to her you are going to find the right balance and that you apologize if you've unintentionally hurt her feelings. Sleepovers are great fun! Films, make overs, baking - it's a great way to makeup and put the mistakes behind.

Your situation seems difficult, but I assure you it can be handled easily if dealt in the right way.


Please message me to let me know how the situation works out.


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hi my name is emma i am 13 and my boyfriend wants to have sex with me what do i do

You need to ask yourself are you ready?
Do you feel 100% it's right in your heart?
If your in doubt, say no.

Think about the consequences of these actions ;
will the relationship last after?
will i get pregnant?
what about if he is using me?

Can you handle the responsibility of being pregnant if that happened? Can you handle all your friends going out whilst your stuck at home for nine months not being able to be a kid. What would your parents think, would they be there for you?

I personally feel that you are too young to handle the emotional concept of sex. I don't want you to regret it - your so young, you should never live in regret at such a young age.

You may not want to hear this but the likely chance of you staying together is low, and your relationship may not be as fruitful, maybe wait. I I waited and it's the best thing I ever did. When you are 13, you can't go out, you don't have money, you can't go away together, you can't eat out, you can't do what couples do to keep the relationship interesting. And when I finally had sex I was so happy because it was something I got to look forward to.

Whereas if you have sex now, what will you have to look forward too? You will see friends as you get older, talk to you about how happy they are for doing it, but looking back where you happy or did you do it to try and keep your boyfriend?

I cannot judge, I just hope you do what is right for you. If you are considering it, research and have a look at the PROTECTION that is available, if you are going to do it, do it right. Try to confide in an adult. Maybe there is a Councillor at school who will be able to help you make the right decision. It's confidential, and they are there to make sure you are happy.


I hope you make the right decision that is best for you.

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So my friend asked this guy if he would go out with me && were both 11 ,he said he doesn't think he's ready for a girlfriend and maybe he might go out with me.He stares at me sometimes .Idk What do u think it means when he said maybe?

I agree with the columist below me

But I must say maybe means maybe you know? It means he isn't sure. But I personally take maybe as a no, because if he wanted a girlfriend he would of said yes?

and he also said he doesn't think he is ready. Which I understand still being a child! If he does go out with you take into consideration that he is all of a sudden ready. Is he ready or he is just going out with you for the sake of it?

I would advise that having a boyfriend at the age of 11 is only going to end in tears. Someone is going to get hurt and it's not going to last. Why waste your time.

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There is this guy who I like and I think he likes me back. Recently we've been talking and it's been great. The problem is that when he dosnt text me I freak out but when he does text me I don't want to talk to him. I got I text from him and thought to myself"ugh he's a little pushy I hope he's not like this all the time" but then I realized just a few hours ago I had been glued to my phone waiting for a call or text. I'm so confused. I want to talk to him but then I don't.

I think it can stem from the fact you really like him. I have experienced this. Sometimes we like someone but don't want to admit it, or we don't even want to like them, or even let them know, but we do like them. It's simple.

It's ok to freak out, your letting your guard down and you can be afraid, you may feel like its going to end and he is going to just never talk to you again. But he has no reason to ignore you - therefore if he isn't answering he is probaly going to be busy. Why would he ignore you? You guys are fine.

The reason you may think he is being pushy is that you are looking for a reason to push YOUR feelings away, a reason not to like him. If he does seem pushy, maybe because he likes you too? Isn't that a positive!? (yay)

Stop trying not to feel what you do feel. You like him, it's a great thing, but yes it can be scary too. Keeping talking, and develop the friendship. Find out a little more about him etc to confirm your feelings, I wouldn't say you need to anymore. If two people like each other it will come together, especially if he is interested in talking to you back and it's going great. Your fine just chill, and tell yourself you've got nothing to worry about.

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I'm also asked this question about Ebay; http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=599462

When I buy things from a seller on Ebay, do I need to message them after I've paid with Paypal or will they get an automatic message saying I paid?

Also, when somebody buys something from me and pays, should I send them a message telling them I've shipped their item once I have?

Lastly, what about shipping? I mostly will be selling clothes nd I've ordered these envelopes from UPS to ship them in, but is there anything else I should do with packaging?



Hi, you don't need to send a message to say you have payed. They will recieve an automatic message as well as seeing the money in their paypal account.

Once you have shipped the item, you should message them to let them know but also you can mark the item as dispatched - and then they will recieve an auto message.

If the clothes will fit in the envelopes then great, if you are selling delicate items that could break wrap them in extra tissue or bubble wrap. To save money I send my items in bin liners, its cheaper to buy.

Regarding you other questions

When they buy an item off you, the Postage and Packaging fee is included and therefore they pay for the whole thing, so you dont need to tell them to pay for it, because ebay automatically combines the price of the item and postage together.

When I post an item to sell I always tell them to pay within three days, around how long it will take to get to them and what kind of people can bid ( in the sense of only UK bidders only, as I am from the uk I don't want to be sending stuff to other countries)People will buy from you - they NEED and WANT to know what the conditions are when they buy your item so its fine.

Message me for more info

good luck

Sadie

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^boring question sorry. but i was wondering... i know dancing is healthy but how? i mean what does dancing help in? ok wait this is confusing i'll make it simpler. what are the advantages of dancing?

There are many advantages. I've been dancing for years, and many styles.

If you are doing a dance that raises your pulse and is a high impact activity like urban or zumba it's great for your heart as it's a cardio workout and is a great way to lose weight which is an advantage. For me running is so boring, whereas dancing is excerise in disguise. It's great for helping the blood circulation around your body and can also help your body rhytmically engage therefore improving your timing and musicality and performance qualites.

I love ballet and there are so many advantages. Did you know we have toe knuckles? Like we have knuckles on our hands, we have them on our feet too - but the majority of people can't see them because they haven't strengthend your bones. Ballet allows you to strengthen all your joints and allow you become flexible which is an advantage because it keeps your body tone and joints supple which means as your get older you will have less issues when it comes to maybe pain or discomfort in hips and knees - HOWEVER, if you decided to go on pointe then that could have have a disadvantage because it could cause you pain and injuries in the future, but it depends on how you train and take care of yourself.


People think that ballet doesn't let you lose weight but trust me you have to engange with your core,back and all your muscles and you will be sweating in five minutes. Just generally dancing will allow you to be more energetic and will keep your heart healthy.

Lastly dancing is fantastic for your posture. It allows you to keep your core strong and not slouch. It will streghten your spine which is important as we lose the suppleness in our back as we get older.

Also it's a great way to learn, make friends and find a hobby you are great at. Ask me if you have any other questions xx

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18 f

i have an on-going flirtation with this one guy that i go to school with. we openly flirt and will most likley hook up within the next month. i know he thinks im attractive and all but he recently said that i was a 9, as in a 9 out of 10. i dont know whether to be flattered that he gave me such a high number or insulted that he doesnt think im a 10. any opinions on this would be great.

thanks!

You just shouldn't care at all what anyone what rates you. There are more important things to ask advice on in life.

And if he sees you care, he has got you right where he wants you.

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he says daily he loves me but he has a girlfriend. Should I just leave or try to see if he will leave her?

Leave.

If he loved you, he wouldn't keep you waiting around and if he was a respectful gentlemen he wouldn't be fooling around with someone else, and lying. If he can cheat on his girlfriend, he can cheat on you.

Go find someone worth wasting time over. Not a cheater.

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Okay so I talk to this guy a lot and we always want to hook up with each other. Most of the time he will text me asking to have sex and we will talk dirty. I love it and sometimes I'll text him saying how badly I want sex and I want to suck his...anyway but when good time comes I always get nervous and make an excuse saying I can't.I later wish I wasnt such chicken. How can I stop getting so nervous and finally just do it?!

Have you thought that maybe you're not ready to have sex with him? That's what's stopping you. Don't try to fool yourself. If it's just nerves, tell him that you are. If you don't want to tell him, just talk dirty and say you want to be controlled/"used" and then that means he has to make the first move and in a sense he is guiding you.

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19/F
(not sexually active; just to dismiss that)
So, my boyfriend & I are having our one-year anniversary next week :) The thing is, I'm broke :|
So, I guess I'm going DIY for this one. But I have NO clue what to do for him... I guess a hand-made card is a given, but I've made him 4 unique ones already for christmas, valentine's day, our six months, and his birthday. i've run out of creative ideas! so i guess first of all, does anyone have any ideas on like some kind of creative template for a card? I'll put my own spin on it, of course. But between a pop-up, a heart-shaped, a giant card, a collage, I can't think of any other cheesy cute creative thing I can do with a card. Maybe something with 365 incorporated into it...? I don't know.
Also, anything else I can make him? I know everyone says a frame with a picture of us or something, but we don't really have any...the few that we actually have he already used on a gift for me, so I'd rather not go with that. Any other ideas?
Finally... I want this in addition to e corny little mug. I have a small cheap DIY mug kit that I bought, but the paint it came with, I don't like the colors. I have a little pack of craft paints I wanted to use but I think they'll wash right off... is there anything I can use to seal it all? I was thinking nail polish top coat but I'm not sure it'll hold up..?

Any ideas at all will help! please & thank you :)

I made my boyfriend a photo album, a cake and dinner. Why don't you have him round for dinner, have a movie night?

The mug sounds like a great idea, and use clear nail varnish for the top coat.

You can always put a poem in the card too :)

My boyfriend did the cutest things. He bought a pack of playing cards but BIG ones, took all the "heart" suits from the pack and wrote a reason on each of the cards why he loved me and joint it together with ribbon to make a little book :)

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