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April 14, 2006

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February 3, 2007

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Hiya, my names Claire. I'm 16 and I live in England. I live with my dad, my older brother and my younger sister. I have a pretty complicated family situation, so although yours may not be the same, I can probably replate to something of the confusion and hurt people with broken families feel.
I'm a Christian, and I guess that is reflected in most of my responses to questions. Compared to some people, I've had a pretty good 16 years of life so far, not huge amounts to complain about. But there have been times when I've really needed to rely on God to pull me through and he's never EVER failed me. I trust his promises completely, and I depend on Christ with all my heart

advice

ok everyone is saying that damius my boyfriend likes my bff rayquisha and i dont no wut to do stay with him or break up with him please please please help thanx

-confused

Ask him straight. It's unfair on him to break up with him just because everybody else said it and you never checked with him. If you ask him to his face, without sounding angry, just ask him to be honest, and the chances are he will. If you don't think he would tell you, then at least you'd have the chance to try and tell if he's lying.
So, investigate it, but don't take action till you've talked to him about it.

i havent gotton my period yet but i have been getting discharge for a year now and i still havent got it. Why havent i had my period yet? Well i got my period a year ago and ever since then i have been getting discharge. (yellowish and whitish.) Any help?

Discharge can start around 2 years before you get your period, or for some girls just before. So you're fine. If you're older than about 16 or feel you should have had your period by now, just go and get chekced out with a dctor and they can reassure you that everything's ok. Just getting discharge doesn't mean you'll get your period straight away, just a sign that it's preparing to start in the next few years.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. We have both agreed to stay virgins until we are married .. but it seems like everytime we are together, we end up fooling around. I'm 16 and he's 17 .. but I'm worried that we are going to end up being so consumed with sexual things, that we won't be able to connect on the level that we used to. He is my best friend, and I love him very much - I plan on talking to him about this, I'm just not sure that I know what to say. Is this a problem? And if so, what do I say? I know he still loves me, and he'll be fine if we don't do sexual things, but it just HAPPENS.

From my experience, the more you do, the harder it is to stop. Me and my last boyfriend both wanted to wait till marriage too, but we didn't realise how easy it was to get carried away... Try talking to him about it and setting yourself boundries.. as in when you get to a certain point, you'll stop, and both of you take responsibility for that, not just you. Its hard being the one who has to say no all the time. I've foudn when you have boundries, you always wana push them a little further though, and it gets harder and harder to wait... So just talk it through with your boyfriend, decide how important it is to you both to wait and how you can avoid situations where you might get tempted to go further than you want. Hope everything goes ok xxx

15/f

so i just found out the love of my life is goin away for 6 months. we were together for a month then we broke up but we still acted like we were together u know kissing and everything. he told me today that he was goin away. he wants to have sex and so do i but do you think this is rite?? so you think im gonna git my heart broken? all my friends think so but thats just because they dont know him. by the way im a virgin so this will be my first time. PLEASE HELP!!!!

Don't do it. If you broke up, it must have been for a reason. You were only with him a month, and he wants to have sex with you even though you're not together anymore? This guy doesn't respect you, don't give your virginity to someone who doesn't deserve it. Wait until you're in a committed relationship with someone who will love you unconditionally, and you won't get your heart broken. You deserve better than him.

so this guy crashed my bat mitzvah and he thinks i wanted him there (thats why he came). We dated about 8 months ago. He told me multiple times throughout the past month that he really likes me, but he leaves my bff comments on her myspace telling her thats shes pretty, smart, blah, blah, blah. My bat mitzvah was last weekend and he showed up and it was a black tie affair and stuff. Security took him out and he when he got home he started posting myspace bulletins about me saying i was a whore and stuff like that. he says that if anyone owes an apology, i owe him one for the security. About 5 hours before my bat mitzvah service (before the party) he promised me that he wouldnt crash it. As you can see, he lied. Its been about a week since it happened but im still mad at him for what he did. Hes always trying to talk to me or kiss me to "try and make up for what he did wrong." What should I do? at school we all have advisors (theyre actually teachers but theyre assigned to four students and we all meet every week). i told my advisor about the incident and she is not only my advisor, she's HIS teacher. the school knows about what happened and everything and theyve talked to him. He still doesnt think he did anything wrong and he wants me to have a relationship with him... I like someone else, but hes insisted that i Cant like the someone else. hes a freshman in high school and im in 8th grade. were both 14, but im older than him. my myspace is www.myspace.com/party so if u could help me out either there or on advicenators, that would be amazing ♥ and do you think i should forgive him?

The guy sounds like an idiot. He's trying to get your attention in any way he can because he thinks if you keep thinking about him, you'll eventually want him back. He can't stand the thought of you ignoring him or wanting another guy. So do just that, tell him your bored of his childishness, you've moved on and he should do the same. Go ahead and like other guys, just dont give him any attention, and he'll soon get over it and move on.

13/f
i get this goey stuff in my undies all the time and its nothing to do with my period because i havnt had it yet and this has been happening for a while...so i was wondering...can anyone tell me why this is happening and if something is wrong with me...thanks alot

There's nothing wrong with you, it's called vaginal discharge, and your body produces it natural to keep everything clean down there. You can get it for up to a couple of years before your period, and once your period has started, some girls get it all the time, some only get it around their period.
If it seems abnormal for some reason, like it starts going a funny colour, gets a lot darker, or smells really bad, then you should get checked by a doctor, but thats not likely to happen.
Hope I helped
xxx

this is math related, but it's not a homework question.

Okay, there's a simple rule that states anything to the zero power is 1. for example:

9 to the 0 power=1

why is that?? i understand how you get a 0 power, but why is it 1?? just curious.

thanks!!

http://mathforum.org/dr.math/faq/faq.number.to.0power.html

This website explains exactly why, I read it through and I understood almost all of it, so I hope it helps!

for some reason whenever i am in school i sweat alot under my arms even when it is cold out. i put deoderante on (duh, im not that dumb) but it still doesnt do anything expect the fact that i dont smell. I think it might be a nerve thing but i was just wondering if there is any product or deoderante just for like wetness

Look for a deodorant that is also an antipersperant, both jobs done in one! Hope you get it sorted ok xxxx

well me and this boy were getting pretty close and i let him kiss me like with tongue. And so one of his friends told him i have a boyfriend and i dont but he wont tlk to me wat do i do

Just tell him it's not true, that his friend must be jealous and you're not the sort of person who cheats on boyfriends, you wouldn't do that. If you are sincere and honest about it, whether its by letter, text, email, note, whatever, then he should believe you and if he doesn't, it's his problem, leave him to it.

OK this is the hardest thing i have ever been through.. :( and i have never felt this way about someone before..we have been through so much and shared so many good memories..well the story goes like this...
A girl comes out of nowhere and starts flirting with my bf of 9 months on myspace. They wind up hanging out at a football game with friends and he tells me he has some feelings for her. This was heartbreaking. However..i wanted to work it out with him so when he suggested 'open relationship' as in he dates her(not go out) and maybe kisses/hugs her and i agreed to this and to still be with him. I decided it wasnt fair to me..because we had 9 months..i dont desserve this and it hurts..so i break up with him..He says he loves me and sees a future with me as in marriage..that it wont get serious with the new girl but how am i supposed to know? (i mean he might go out with her he says..what do i do then?)They are hanging out more..they call each other..shes driving me nuts with her shoutouts to him and comments..and hes putting her shoutout in his info..its just too much and it breaks my heart. I dont know what to do..isolate myself from him..like not talk to him or hang out or anything so he makes a choice? (like if hes away from me maybe he will miss me..or maybe he will decide he wants her) Or do i be his friend? do i kiss him still and cuddle? i really want to..but this is very hard for me. Hes a sweetheart though. he told me everything..he was honest about her..and we made an agreement that he tells me everything and he has. they were talking together by the lake..they might go to the movies tomorro..i flip flop back and forth though..be his friend and hang out/talk/cuddle/kiss him...but sometimes i feel so sad and hurt i feel like i should back away completely. what do i do? is this worth the wait?

To tell you the truth, you deserve better than this. You're right, if you just give him the affection he wants while he's getting the same from her, he'll be happy and you won't. He says he can see a future with you, he says he wants to marry you, yet still he wants to be able to go out with this other girl and kiss her? That's not on. You deserve a guy who will give you his full attention, a guy who has eyes only for you. A guy who wouldn't even consider being with another girl because he loves being with you so much. And he needs to realise very quickly that he can't treat girls this way. A commitment is a commitment. If he's been with you 9 months and wants to be with you forever, then its you and no-one else. If he wants to flirt with another girl and whatever, he can't have you. because as much as it hurts you now, and I know it really really does, I've been there, you can't let him stamp on your heart like this.

So, in my opnion, you need to tell him straight how you feel. Tell him what its doing to you to watch this. tell him that either he needs to make a commitment to you, be with you and you only, or be with her. Tell him that a guy who loves a girl and wants a future with her can't have another girl on the side. Imagine if you were married, would he think it was ok to see another woman like that? For instance, to take his secretary to the movies and kiss and cuddle her? Thats not how relationships work! If you guys do have a future together, he'll make that choice, he'll put you first, he'll leave her alone. If not, there's no way he's mature enoguh for a committed relationship, and, tough and painful as it is, you need to let go and move on.

Let me know what you do in the end, drop me a line if you need anything else. xxxxxx

I like this guy at school who dosen't really know me. How should I get his attention? What should I say to him that won't sound like I'm going out of my way to talk to him?

It's ok to sound like you're going out of your way to talk to him, thats how people get to know each other! Ask him what he's up to at the weekend, if he watched a programme on TV last night, what sports teams he likes, anything like that, and if you find out he's interested in something you don't know much about, ask him about it. If you find you have something in common, chat about that.

When would the appropriate time to let your boyfriend finger you? I'm ready but we've only dated for 1 month would that be pushing things to fast in our relationship? Thanks in advance!

Depends how old you are, how serious the relationship is, how comfortable you feel with sexual activity. Personally, I would wait quite a while, but it may be different for you or him. I'd say don't do anything until you can talk about it. When you feel comfortable enough with your boyfriend to talk to him about it and how fast your relationship is going, then have a chat and decide for yourselves how fast you want it to go. Just don't let him push you into anything you'll regret, decide what you want and stick to it.

I have a date on Sunday with this guy I met from myspace. He's real I promise. Anyway, what should we do?? any suggestions??? I'm picking him up by the way and bringing him back to my town. we're both 18.

How easy do you guys find it to chat? If you get along really well and think it won't be awkward, something like bowling would be good, but if you think you won't have much to talk abot until you're more relaxed with each other, see a movie then you can talk about that afterwards, maybe get something to eat. Hope it goes well!

Okay, so when I was 10 (I'm 26 now), I fell off my bike and broke my two front teeth straight across in half. My dentist put a bonding on each one, and it made them look a little too long, and over the years a small stain has started showing along the seam of one, but they work just fine as teeth and nobody really notices that they're not perfect. Now that I'm an adult I have another dentist who's recommended that I have the existing bonding (and what's left of the teeth) replaced with porcelain crowns... the length would be more natural, and they'd possibly use a brighter color and whiten the rest of my teeth to match it. It'd be more permanent and look better, but I'm really struggling with it because it seems like such a cosmetic thing to do and I've always fought against that sort of thing, it seems vain. Like, I'd NEVER have cosmetic surgery, so why do it for my teeth? I know I'm way overthinking this... most people would have had it done years ago. My teeth bug me but fixing them bugs me too. What would you recommend?

Yeah, I'd go for it. If you don't, you'll probably have to have soething done later on anyway, because it's been such a long time. If your teeth bug you, it'll give you more confidence too. I'd never get cosmetic surgry either, but i think I would do this, because it's not like you want to change what your body naturally looks like, its fixing it up after an accident. It's not really cosmetic at all.

Okay. So Christmas is in 2 months.. and my boyfriends birthday is in 3.. and i have NO clue what to get him!! I would realy like some ideas.. We're both 15 and hes turning 16 in3 months.. thx a lot ..
chow.

depends how long you've been together for. As its a few motnhs till his birthday, you could make him something really special and personal. With my boyfriend, I started a diary a few months before his birthday, and every single night for 3 months I wrote him a letter in this diary, telling him what we'd done that day, and how I felt about him and stuff... so when I gave it to him, he had the last 3 months of our relationship recorded in detail that he wouldn't hae remembered otherwise.

Or if you're relaly good at something use that. write him a song if you can write, if you're good at art, make him an amazing picture. personal is best. Good luck!

reduced fat peanut butter is a huge part of my diet.
I eat it every morning on whole wheat bread with a bannana.
Is that an okay breakfast?

Sounds good to me, whole wheat bread and bananas are both great for energy slowly released through the day, jsut what your breakfast should be. Peanut butter isn't a problem, nuts are good, just watch the salt levels in it. It's probably even better though if it's reduced fat.

I'm not a novice when it comes to the topic of suicide, but I am now facing a situation and I have no idea what to do. Over the past year, my friend(Hannah), and I have been writing letters to each other, even though we see each other every day. Well, I've found out things about her, and she about me, through these letters. She's really depressed and wants to kill herself. I've told her that if she wants to find someone who can help, I'll help her find someone. But, a few days ago, she told me that she didn't care whether or not she lived or died, so she wouldn't be helping me find someone to help her. So now, I feel as if her life is in my hands. My problem is, I don't know who to talk to. Hannah swears that she won't be mad at me if I tell someone, I just don't know who to tell. HELP ME, PLEASE!

Sounds to me like by saying she won't be mad at you for tellig someone, she really wants you to tell someone, but saying she doesn't mind is the closest she can get to asking you for help. It's a really hard position to be in, and whatever happens you're going to feel responsible, but as you can see, the most important thing now is that you get her help. If you're not sure where to get help from, try someone else that sh'es close to, maybe somone older - an older family member of hers, if you're at school, a teacher, or look up local counselling services. Make sure you get the help and support for yourself too, don't go through this alone, because its a big burden for one person to carry. Help is out there somewhere, jsut keep looking for people who might know what to do.

My dad says that I'm too skinny and need to put on about 10 pounds. I'm 5"1.5, and I'm 86 pounds.

I'm almost literally skin and bone. If I put on weight, where would the weight go? Is there any way to control where it goes, so it doesn't all go to my belly or my thighs?

I'm exactly the same. The way I see it, while you're still growing, you should only try and alter your natural weight if its a risk to you. So if you're so underweight that its causing medical problems or so overweight its dangerous. Otherwise, just wait a while, bodies have a habit of balancing themselves out, especially over the teenage years. At the same time, make sure you're eating 3 proper meals a day, and have the right attitude to food and weight (as in, not scared eating the right amount of the right stuff, and not just seeing it as comfort, or getting obsessed about weight)as well as getting enough excersise. I think you'll be just fine. Hope everything works out ok, ask me if you need any more advice!

He said that me liked me and we went 2 the movies a few times. Over the summer, I couldn't wait to see him again! Now, he ignores me and acts like he hates me so much! I sent him 3 notes asking for him to email me so I could ask a few questions. He hasn't done so, and I'm starting to get super duper mad!!!!! How do I get him back or figure out if he's pretending to hate me to be cool?

I don't think theres any subtle way to do it really. You just gotta ask him to his face so he can't run away or ignore you. Say something like "So we went to the movies, you said you liked me. What now? If you don't like me anymore, at least have the decency to tell me. And if you do, it would be nice if you started showing it."

Don't beg, or let him have all the control or anything. Just ask him straight, take control of the situtaion yourself. You deserve to know where you stand.

Good luck, ask me if you need any further advice!

ok im 15/f :) my best friend and i ride the bus. she met her boyfriend on the bus and now shes trying to set me up with her boyfriends best friend. she made sure that i sat next to him while her and her boyfriend were right beside us. she kept telling me to talk to him and i was like i dont even know him. so i asked him a few questions like his name and grade and some stuff. he seemed pretty nice. and hes pretty cute! but i didnt want to seem like an idiot. the rest of the way home tho i ran out of things to say and it was so awkward...how do i \"talk\" with him without seeming weird like because we dont even know eachother. and how do i talk to him casually so he wont think im crushing on him! im pretty sure my best friend and her boyfriend are gonna try to keep making us sit by eachother, so what should i say to him? and also, when my best friend gets off, and her boyfriends best friend gets off, its just me and her boyfriend. i never say a word to him because i dont know him and its awkward, but how do i talk to him without seeming stupid? because my best friend is like what did you and my boyfriend talk about and im like nothing and shes like you should talk to him more! please help thanks!

A great way to start chatting and laughing with someone is to play "would you rather?" All you do is make up somethingl ike.... "Would you rather be so stupid you couldn't remember your own name, or so intelligent you could never learn anything new?" And you start off with simple ones like that, and the conversation usually progresses to funnier or more gruesome things like would you rather die this way or that? or would you rather have to eat a whole notepad of paper or drink a litre of urine! It can get a funny game, and you can play it with anyone and it gets you talking. And any time you don't have anything to say, jsut think of a funny one and you can debate it for as long as you like! And once you get more comfortable with each other, more 'normal' conversation flows much easier! Good luck!

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