Hi I'm a 27 year old female from British Columbia, Canada. I work in retail as a sales assoicate. I have an above average intelligence about relationships and mental health issues and love giving advice to those in need. My parents bitterly divorced when I was 13 and through this I learned a lot about relationships. I've also lived through a severe depression and mental breakdown in my early twenties, so I know a lot about mental health. If anyone has a question for me about either of these topics I would be glad to answer as best to my abililty. I would just like to add how much joy this site had brought to my life. I truly believe that by helping others you help yourself.
Website: Life Is What You Make It
Gender: Female
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Occupation: Sales Associate
Age: 27
Member Since: September 20, 2005
Answers: 75
Last Update: August 31, 2007
Visitors: 8656
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I have a math teacher and theres a bunch of girls that likes him. So I found out that they call him on his cell phone and they talk to him on the internet. I find this very strange
because he is like 25 and he lives with his parents and he's single. Half the girls that has his number is between 12-13. I have a bad feeling about this teacher because he goes to ball games and sits with those girls. Does anyone have any idea's on what to do? (link)
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It sounds very inappropriate to me. I think this man sounds like a pedophile; being that these girls are that young. When I was in school many years ago, I never heard of anything like this. That is just plain creepy. He still lives with his mother and is single? The other thing I thought is maybe he's completely innocent and has good intentions, but even then don't you think he'd sit down with these girls that are so young and tell them that although he's flattered, that it's innapropriate for them to be phoning him on his cell?
If I were you; I would make an apointment with your principle and just voice your concerns. I know that they would frown upon this behavior, and he would probably get some sort of a warning.
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My girlfriend(17years old) has been raped by three different people. She only trusts me and hasnt got the confidence to tell anybody else. This means that the responsibility is down to me to give her my own sort of counseling service. I'm not really sure as to what to do apart from help her get it all out. Please could somebody give me some tips on more counselling advice? It would be much appreciated.thankyou x (link)
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Firstly, you are NOT a professional councellor which is what your gf needs. Someone who has been raped, especially by 3 different people would have been traumatized, and I'm actually shocked that she even is dating you considering how shattered her self confidence and self worth are. You must be a very special young man for her to be able to open her heart to you and tell her this horrible secret. For that I commend you.
So in the meantime, you must be careful when you choose your words, listen to her with compassion, and NOT pressure her into any sexual activity until she's ready. I've heard stories of girls who were raped or abused by previous bf's, and when their new bf's tried to make a move on them they would freak out.
Is it possible that you could talk to your school counsellor and tell him/her the situation? If your gf is too uncomfortable to talk to someone from school, maybe the counsellor could refer her to someone else. Remind her that everything she says would stay confidential.
She might even need to talk to a psychiatrist. Is she depressed? Is she on any medication? I'm wondering if she might be better of on an anti-depressant. I used see a pyschiatrist to help me with my depression and she prescribed prozac. It did wonders for me.
I wish you all the best, and hope you can get your gf some badly needed help.
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I've been single for almost two years because all the guys like the "Popular girls" I really want a bf and cant seem to get one..can anyone help me ?
Ill rate 5's all the way♥
thanks=] (link)
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Maybe you're coming off as too desperate. Are you always the one to pursue the guys? In my experience from highschool, whenever the girls really went after the guys they usually got rejected. Remember that guys like to do the chasing. Try playing a little hard to get, and act like your not really interested in them. That always drives them crazy. The more you show you're not interested will just make them want you even more. They will see you as a challenge.
But don't act completely stuck up. Still be friendly around your girlfriends. If a guy sees you laughing a lot, and being a nice person around your friends and teachers, he will notice this. Wait for him to approach you.
One other thing: guys love girls who exude confidence. Even if you don't have any, you can pretend. Just carry yourself well, walk tall, dress nicely, have good hygeine, and remember to smile!
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Is breaking up over the phone okay? Or should I make an effort to do it in person? (link)
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Breaking up over the phone is the cowards way out. I think it's best to break up in person, it shows more maturity on your part. There are exceptions, though. If the guy you're breaking up with is voilent or abusive towards you, I wouldnt break up with him in person, it would be safer to end it either via email or phone.
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Ohk i have a job. And the problem is i should be getting 20 hours a school week. And 40 hours on a break. Well on a regular week i only get 8 and half hours and on breaks i only get 15 hours.
Its been like this since December. Its really aggravating me because a girl the same age as me is getting more hours then me like 5 hours more.
Im thinking about searching for a new job. Because i need the hours and the money. Would it be a good idea to go out and look for a new job?
Dont tell me that i should start getting more hours soon i highly doubt it.
I work really hard at the job i have now. The girl my age hates working and complains more then anything in the world. I dont get it.
I would really like to know what you guys think i should do. (link)
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Hey there ! It's interesting you've asked this question. I had been going through something similar at my job. I had normally been getting 25 hours a week, but after Xmas my hours were cut down to 15. I was thinking of looking for a new job too.
So my advice to you is to hang in there. It turned out that one of the girls in my department moved, another got a promotion for a new deparment, and another who had seniority over me left for a different job. So guess what happened? Now I'm getting 30 hours a week!! I'm also like the third in my department for seniority, and before I was the fifth! Just think if I had quit, maybe found a job that was horrible but I took it on because I got more hours. I really love my job, I get to work with the underwear and shoes in a large superstore. Also, your boss knows that you're a hard worker, but because you're still in school I'm guessing that you have restricted hours, so obviously you won't be getting as many hours as someone who's available any time. I am available anytime, but a girl that works just as hard as me only gets about 15-20 hours max because she's still a student. I think that once you're out of school, and your hours become less restricted you will definately get more shifts.
So in the meantime, try to stay positive. If you start to feel negatively about your job your co-workers will pick up on it. Just keep doing a good job, work hard, and keep a smile on your face.
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Whenever I shave "down there", it gets all red and itchy, and I don't have any baby oil or anything. So what should I put on it to stop the itching and redness? (link)
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I don't know what you could put on it to stop the itching and redness, but I can give you some tips for shaving the right way so that this won't happen to you again.
The next time you shave your bikini area, make sure that you shave making downwards stokes. An easy way to remember this is: legs, shave UP, and bikini area, shave DOWN.
I used to have the same problem as you with the itchiness, but someone told me that I was shaving the wrong way. Once I started shaving down instead of up, the problem went away.
Good Luck!
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Everyone says breasts stop growing at 18. I'm going to be 20 next month and my breasts look the same size as they did when I was 13. Is this it for me? Am I doomed to wear push up bras all my life? :( *cries* (link)
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Well there may still be some hope for you!! My breasts stayed the same all through highschool, a B34. I was perfectly happy with that size, but when I turned 19, my breasts grew to a C36! None of my friends could believe it, and I think some were jealous and thought I had implants. I said that they just grew, and I HATED it!
Also, my mother told me that she her breasts didnt stop growing until she was 24!
But anyways, all that is irrelevant. I think you should be happy with what you have. You're lucky to be a smaller cup size. Some guys actually prefer girls to have smaller breasts. Personally, I would love to be a B34 cup size again. It was a lot easier to run around without having my breasts jiggle!!
buzzie
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Ok well i get 200 bucks from my parents, they give me money but never that much! well anyways i was thinking about buying an ipod cause i really want one, but then again i want clothes and other stuff like that. one of my friends say take the shopping spree cause by the time i get the ipod in march ipods are gonna be old and there will be something new everyone wants. my other friend says get the ipod cause you can just use allownce and stuff to get clothes. im so confused, i dont know what to do with the money!!!!
o ya if it helps any if i spent the money on clothes it would mostly be at hollister and stores like that. (link)
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First of all, what a nice thing of your parents to give you that money! I know how tempting it must be for you to spend it. A good rule of thumb that I use when trying to decide what to buy, is to purchase the things that I NEED rather than what I WANT. You stated that you "want" clothes, not "NEED" clothes, and that you really "want" an ipod.
My suggestion to you is before you go out and blow all your money, put if in your bank account. This will stop you from being tempted to spend it. Then think long and hard about what you really need. Maybe you need a new pair of gym shoes, a hair cut, or money for birthday gifts for your friends. Make a list of all the things that you need.
One other about ipods: I looked into buying one myself and they are around 250 dollars, so you wouldnt have enough money for one anyways.
Good Luck!
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i am a 14/f. sry this is so long.
my b/f and i have been going out for almost 4 months. his birthday is next month and we have talked about "experimenting". we want to see what it would be like if he were to stick his penis in my vagina. we wouldn't actually have sex so i would still be a virgin. but i know that guys pre-ejaculate and i was wondering if we should get a condom just incase he does pre-ejaculate. but we don't know 'who' to get it from. we have friends who have condoms but we don't want to ask them for one cuz rumors will spread. and we don't want to go buy a whole box 1.) b/c i'd get caught and in trouble 2.) b/c he would get in trouble. What should i do? should we still experiment if we can't get a condom? please help me.
thx (link)
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I don't think him putting his penis in your vagina is the best way to go if you just want to "experiment". For 2 reasons, 1: you are both only 14 and this will be something very intimate, and my concern is even if you arent planning on going through with the act of vaginal intercourse, this might trigger an emotional and pyschical response, and may have a fallout. 2: even if you had your bf wear a condom, let's look at the worst cast scenerio. He migh prematurely ejaculate in the exitement of being inside you for the first time. Remember that condoms are not 100% safe from getting you pregnant. Also, if it's his first time putting on a condom, he may put it on wrong, or it could slide off, which would be awkward and scary for you, especially if your worried about getting pregnant.
If the two of you really want to experiment, for now, just focus on doing things besides vaginal intercourse. There are lots of things you two can do so that you'll both be virgins, but not ignoramus virgins. There is a very good book about sex, sexuality, and physical love that I would recomend you read called THE JOY OF SEX by Alex Comfort. Dr. Comfort wrote this book with his wife, and they wrote it really to provide a way for people to get comfortable with sex and physical love, to know what is at stake, to take much of the pressure off, whether for virgins or for people who, while they may be experienced in general, are virgins to each other. I hope this anweres your question.
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Last night, I went out clubbing with my best friend and some other people, including a guy friend of mine, I'll call him "Brian". Brian has always told me that he's bisexual and I'm cool with that and we get along great. He's always treated me like one of the guys, but last night, he got pretty drunk and he started touching me inappropriately. It wasn't anything particularly sexual, just holding my hand and putting his hands on my waist, but I was really confused. I'm not attracted to him or anything, but it's got me really confused. It was just the alcohol talking wasn't it? My best friend also said he held her hand as well. (link)
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Well before you said that he did the same thing to your best friend I was going to say that he probably had feelings for you and that the alhohol just brought it out, but now I think that he was just being a flirt. A lot of guys do things at the clubs that they would never normally do in every day life, like at school or jobs. I went clubbing once with my friend, and we both had the same guy grab our breast! Then we found out afterwords that his girlfriend was waiting outside for him!! Some guys, after having consumed a lot of alhohol act like complete pigs. I have seen the nicest, sweetest guys when they're sober turn into the biggest, perverted creeps when drunk.
I really don't think you have anything to worry about. You said he just held your hand and put his hands on your waist, right? I don't think from what you've described that he's crossed any lines sexually. If he had tried kissing you or touching your breasts, buttucks, or private parts then you would have reason to be upset. But if it really bothers you and your best friend, definately pull him aside and voice your concerns.
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Ok, well our school is doing this trip to Europe for next summer, and I REALLY want to go, but my mom says I can't unless I raise the money myself. I don't know how I'm going to get the money, cause it's a really expensive trip, but I really want to go. Anyone got any ideas on how I can raise the money? And I'm too young to get a job anywhere... Please help! Thanks! (link)
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Well I'm not sure where you live, and if you're allowed to do this there, but a way I always make some extra cash is by asking my friends and family members if they have any pop or beer cans that I can return at the bottle depot. You can also collect them yourself if you go to the local parks and beaches, people always leave them laying around. You can get 5 cents for pop cans, and 10 cents for beer cans, and 20 cents for a two litre pop or alchoholic beverage.
I make about 10 dollars a week doing this. I live in an appartment complex. I just let all my neighbors know I return bottles for money and they leave them at the door.
You do the math: 10 dollars a week equals 40 dollars a month. Next summer is 6 months away, so that will be over 300 dollars.
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alright it always seems that when my brother has friends over that im always home, because all my friends are busy and there is no one to talk to on the phone. Now his friends are really hot so i dont want them to think im a loser its just a cowinsdense (sp) that im home when he has his friends over, and no i dont do it on purpose. I try calling people to talk so i dont look like a dork but of course no one is home when i need them . What do around the house so they dont think im a loser? and i know like watching t.v or something but last time i did that one of his friends went " why is she sitting there watching tv"
ill rate high for ANYTHING. (link)
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I think this is a great opportunity for you to build some muscle and get in awsome shape!! You don't need a lot of money or a gym membership either. If I were you, invest in a portable cd disc player, the kind with the headphones. Also buy a pair of good running shoes if you don't already have some, and a nice tract suit. Then whenever your brother brings his hot friends over, put on your tract suit, and head out the door!! You don't have to run, just walk briskly. The tunes will help motivate you to keep going. Walking can do wonders for your health, and it will help you lose or maintain weight. Also, your brothers friends will be really impressed and think what cute, health concsious little sister their friend has. It will look WAY better than just having you sit by the television!!
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Hey everybody thank you for reading this. There is this guy that I am crazy about, and we are friends and stuff but I think there might be something more. I like him alot....and I think he MIGHT like me too but I am not sure. I am sorta shy, 'specially about something like this. plus I dont want to scare him off or freak him out so I can't just tell him. What should I do?? Please respond Luv~Megz2009 (link)
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Hi, I know what you're going through because I have been in the same situation. I am really shy too and the guy that I liked was also really shy. The way to know for sure is to watch his body language and facial reactions when you're around him. Does his face light up when he sees you walk into a room? Do you sense him looking at you when you start talking in front of a group of people? Do you catch him staring at you? Another way to tell is does he laugh at your jokes even when there not funny? Does he defend you when someone else is being mean to you?
Well I think you already know he likes you, but you just needed someone to confirm this. In my experience, if the guy is really shy too, YOU have to make the first move. I know it sounds scary, but trust me shy guys LOVE it when the girl they like makes a pass. You don't have to be really obvious about it either. Do something like throw him a really sexy smile, and make sure you hold his gaze. If the guy is into you, he will smile back, and be relieved that you did it first! Remember that guys are even more afraid of rejection then girls. If you don't want to do the smile, then just casually start a conversation with him. Invite him out for a date. Go somewhere where you can be all alone together, like the movie theatre.
Life is too short to wait for others to make the first move. I say GO FOR IT! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain!
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I am G/16. At home we two sisters share same room. My sister age 14, has a very bad habit of farting in the room. She farts with sound whenever she needs during working or just sitting or laying. she does not care even after my protets. she says that farting is natural and atleast in the room or home she has independence. She is a pretty girl but I am fade up with this. How should I stop her doing this?
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She may have a problem with controlling her flatulence that you're not aware of. I had a bf who farted whenever I drove him in my car, when we were in public, and at his appartment. He would fart constantly, maybe once every 5 minutes. When I would get angry he told me he couldnt help it, that it was a medical condition. If that's the case, then there isn't much you can do, excecpt invest in some strong scented room spray.
But she may be doing this on purpose just to annoy you. Does she fart just in your room? If she farts all the time in other places then she probably has a condition that she can't control. But if not, and she's just doing this to get on your nerves then you need to talk to your parents and ask them to either give you two separate rooms, or have them dicipline her so she won't be doing this to you anymore. It sounds like she is very immature and inconsiderate. If she really had to fart she could leave the room so you wouldnt have to suffer.
I hope I have helped!
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Ok, me and my step mom dont "exactly" get along, she gets all pissed off at me because i forget to make my bed, or leave somthing on the floor (in my room) and she leaves all these stupid little notes saying "do this do that, we all live in the same house you know!!" and im trying my best to not yell back at her... i mean she ALWAYS yells at me, and i usually end up crying after ive gone into my room away from her... but i need help, because i know one of these days i wont be able to hold back and ill end up screaming at her... and thats definetally not like me unless i get over the top pissed off!! ill rate 5s to any1 who can help!
13/f
signed,
hoplessly traped (link)
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Dear Hoplessly Trapped
I know you don't want to hear this, but you are still a minor, and as long as you live under your parents house, you have to follow their rules. That doesnt mean though that you should have to put up with any verbal abuse.
I am on your side. I am 27 and have a real ass of a step dad. But fortuneatly for me, I live on my own and don't have to put up with this tirant. But whenever I visit my mother, he always yells at me for something. I think I would have a breakdown of some sort if I did have to live with him.
So this is what you need to do. Have you ever heard of a family intervention? Well it's basically like having a staff meeting, except it's not work issues being discussed, it's your family issues being discussed. Talk to your father and just say " I've been having some issues with (step moms name), and I would really like it if I could have you both present at a meeting tonight. This will gain the respect of your father being you are being mature about this, instead of you going off on a screaming tantrum,
When you are all seated at the table, calmly let your step mom know that you are trying your best with the cleaning, and want to help her with the chores, but that it hurts your feelings when she is constantly yelling at you and leaving notes. Tell her you want to make a comprimise: that you will try to do your best with the cleaning as long as she shows you some RESPECT and doesnt yell at you anymore.
I think that this will totally blow them both away that a 13 year old would have the maturity to be so responsible.
If this would make you feel better, get a written contract.
Let me know if this helps!!
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what are some signs of when a guy likes you? because theres this guy i like and im not sure if he likes me...please help ill rate (link)
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Well it really depends on what type of guy he is.
If he is outgoing and popular, the signs would be very obvious. He would probably find excuses to flirt with you, and always be giving you lots of eye contact. He may even touch you, like stroke you shoulder or put his hand on your back. He would also have probably asked for your number, and talked to your closest friends about you (in a good way),
Now, if he is a shy and reserved type of guy, then the signs that he liked you would be a lot less obvious. He would probably look at you, but if you caught him he would blush and look away. I had a guy really like me, but never even knew because he was so shy! I found out from one of his friends that he was in love with me!!
So it's up to you. If you really like this boy, shy or not, you have to let him know how you feel. If he's outgoing, it won't be so hard. Just walk up to him and ask him out!
But if he's shy, then wait for you and him to be all alone (maybe when he's at his locker?) and just casually start a converation with him.
Good Luck, and have fun!
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Right, i have a best mate called rowan (he's a guy im a girl but im called roHan lol) im 14 he's 14 and we'v been best mates kinda on an off for about 3 years, a month ago our friend nikki had a party and we were laying down and just watching a movie when we started kinda flirting and touching each other up then it prgressed and he fingered me and i gave him a handjob nobody saw us though, Since then we'v had a thing going in secret, we'l go up an alley for a *talk* after school, and stuff will happen, iv gievn him head twice and we'v talked online about fucking and stuff iv had 1 bf during this thing and he's had 2 gfs, its stopped then, thing is i dont actually have a crush on him and he doesnt have one on me, im just a lil confused an all, should i keep it going with him? or should i end it?
xxxx (link)
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From what you've described it sounds like you two are just "fuck buddies". I agree with Young Grandma that you should stop this. I can already think of a couple reasons why. First off, you are both only 14, and I think a little young to be doing the things you're describing. Also, it might leave you to feel really guilty if you're still doing this with him while you find a guy that really does love you. Save yourself for true love. I think that this boy is just using you because you said that he doesnt have feelings for you. And remember, casual sex ( which is what this is ) is never really casual as some people would have us think. It triggers emotional as well as physical responses, and it has a fallout.
Also, what if he fell in love with another girl? Wouldnt you feel bad if you two were still fooling around when you were both in your late teens or early twenties and had other mates? Then you would both be having a secret pre-marital or post marital affair. End this now. There's just too much at stake, and your self respect and reputation are on the line. You are better than this!!
Take Care.
buzzie
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I'm so pissed! I take this lyrical class for beginners because its my first year. I've been taking dance for 5 years though, so I'm pretty good. All the other kids in my class SUCK! They're horrible and look so awkward. Even though I'm one of the best in my class I feel like the worst.
My teacher corrects every LITTLE thing I do wrong. I'm the only one she's ever correcting! Everyone else sucks, but they still don't get anything negative on their dancing!! She claims that she's doing me a "favor" my correcting me, but why doesn't she do all THEM a favor and help them cuz they need it more than I do?? My friend tells me that this teacher pushes the people who are good. i don't know if this applies to me though. As you can see i'm REALLY pissed about this because I'm used to being the best at everything... school, sports, you name it! (link)
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I can relate to what you're going through. I used to be in dance lessons when I was a young teen. But I found that the opposite was true with me. My dance teacher never corrected the really good dancers, infact she adored them. But she hated me because I was one of the worst ones. She always rode my ass in class. She even had the nerve to YELL at me, yes YELL at me in front of the whole class because I failed to show up to a rehearsal before a performance. It was so bad that I dropped out of the class. I think she did this to me hoping that I would drop out because she thought I was shit and was embarrassed to have me dance with the ones that she thought were really good.
If you are as good as you say you are ( I'm sure you are dear), then I really have no idea why she would be doing this to you. You would think she would be praising you, and making an example out of you. If you are her best dancer, you should be a model student to the others.
If I were you I would make an appointment to speak to your teacher after or before class. Tell her your concerns, and let her know that you don't appreciate her always picking on you, especially when you're one of the best dancers. If she won't give you a good explanation, or apologize for her behavior, I think you should switch to either a different class or a new dance school where they will treat you with the respect that you deserve.
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13/f
ok well, a few of my friends and ALOT of people in my school and some even carry around condoms in their purses and stuff. some of my friends havnt done it yet but claim to love their boyfriends so their thinking about doing it. they're afraid they'll get pregnat and stuff like that or they're boyfriends will leave them or something. they say that sex is the most wonderful gift you can give to someone. then why does EVERYONE these days have sex ALL THE TIME?!?!? and another thing why is it the best thing you can give someone? i mean really? i personally dont think its a big deal to be a virgin before your married i mean, whats the diffrence? ok ONE last question for you. i love my boyfriend too and i would consider having sex with him(depending on the answers above) but how would i bring the subject up with him? please answer and sorry for all the questions. (link)
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I don't think you should be worried about what everyone else is doing, just try to think realistically about this. FACT: you are only 13, and are in no way emotionally ready for such an intimate encounter.
We tend to forget that sex is a profound emotional experience; we're baring ourselves to another person in every way with full trust that the other person won't double over in hysterical laughter pointing at us, or give way to uncontrollable nausea, or just make a face and say "Never mind, your'e not what I had in mind anyway." Casual sex is never as truly casual as some people would have us think; it triggers emotional as well as physical responses, and it has a fallout.
That's why, because so much is at stake when it comes to sex, it's always a good idea not to have sex or to make love, which is what sex really should be, until you feel ready. I don't mean excited or in the grip of hormonal surges (guys get them too)-- I mean ready as a human being with a heart and a brain and a soul as well as a body.
I'll tell you something else about people's talk about their lives and pasts. Much of it is BS. Lot's of people, girls and boys alike, present themselves as more experienced about sex then they really are. They do this because they are feeling insecure, and try to dispel that insecurity by puffing up their pasts.
One other that I know about sex- honesty is always important. As I said above, you are baring yourself to another person in all sorts of ways, not just the clothing optional way. If the guy is experienced and you're not but you say that you are, he will figure out tht youre not pretty quickly. And then the lie will be between you, and you don't want that there.
I hope this helps answer, your question, and take care.
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I have been divorced now for almost a year and still I find it hard to approach or pursue women I find interesting. How do I let a woman know she needs to be aggressive without sounding like a jerk? How do I get into a game I haven't even considered for ten years? (link)
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My advice is to just be yourself. If you put on an act the woman will find out eventually and then there will be no trust between the two of you. Another hint is to just BREATHE. Try to relax, and remember that you won't be the only one who is nervous. Also, I don't mean to sound rude, but a woman can always sense if a guy is desperate. Try to be confident when approaching a woman that you find interesting. Don't talk about your divorce, it would just make you sound needy and lonely. Don't pursue her relentlessly, give it some time. The best way to meet interesting and available woman is through friends or co-workers (never families). Ask your co-workers if they know anyone who is available that you could take out to dinner. This is how I met a guy, through a co-worker. Finally something that helped me was when my mother ask me: Would you want to date you? Be totally honest. If the answer is no then you have some work to do on youself.
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