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Timidity and Fluidity
I have been divorced now for almost a year and still I find it hard to approach or pursue women I find interesting. How do I let a woman know she needs to be aggressive without sounding like a jerk? How do I get into a game I haven't even considered for ten years?
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Give it time to sink back in. You'll get there. Even if you find it hard to approach a women, do it. Trying over and over will eventually get it to sink in. How to let a women know to be agressive, I'm not sure. Maybe try to give her some signals like that. I'm not sure. I know you can get back in the game!
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My advice is to just be yourself. If you put on an act the woman will find out eventually and then there will be no trust between the two of you. Another hint is to just BREATHE. Try to relax, and remember that you won't be the only one who is nervous. Also, I don't mean to sound rude, but a woman can always sense if a guy is desperate. Try to be confident when approaching a woman that you find interesting. Don't talk about your divorce, it would just make you sound needy and lonely. Don't pursue her relentlessly, give it some time. The best way to meet interesting and available woman is through friends or co-workers (never families). Ask your co-workers if they know anyone who is available that you could take out to dinner. This is how I met a guy, through a co-worker. Finally something that helped me was when my mother ask me: Would you want to date you? Be totally honest. If the answer is no then you have some work to do on youself.
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If you plan to get into the game you need to find a coach and get practice first. Ya get me?
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Try to find out what she's interested in and go with that. Start talking to her about her job, what she likes to do for fun, compliment her outfit- anything- just make sure she knows you're interested in what she has to say and her life and it's not just about getting laid. If you both seem to click casually ask her out on a coffee date or something. Dinner seems like too much and meeting for coffee doesn't last so long. Just take it slow and don't come off as cocky or too aggressive, but still have confidence enough to carry a decent conversation and look her in the eye. Some people try online dating services and it works for them, though I'm not into that idea very much. Just try what you feel comfortable doing! Good luck!
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