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help please.
i am a 14/f. sry this is so long.
my b/f and i have been going out for almost 4 months. his birthday is next month and we have talked about "experimenting". we want to see what it would be like if he were to stick his penis in my vagina. we wouldn't actually have sex so i would still be a virgin. but i know that guys pre-ejaculate and i was wondering if we should get a condom just incase he does pre-ejaculate. but we don't know 'who' to get it from. we have friends who have condoms but we don't want to ask them for one cuz rumors will spread. and we don't want to go buy a whole box 1.) b/c i'd get caught and in trouble 2.) b/c he would get in trouble. What should i do? should we still experiment if we can't get a condom? please help me.
thx
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In most cases as soon as his penis goes in you your not a vergin any more actualy in all cases as for the whole condom thing just go out and buy them if you really want to so this.Or go to a free clinic and ask for only one if you have any around where you live.If you never get a condom then dont do this. a guy dosnt know when he is pre ejaculating and it is possible for you to get pregent.
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Putting his penis inside you counts as sexual intercourse, whether he ejaculates or not. Although I personally find "virginity" an artificial concept, you would have had sex and by the standard definition you would not be a virgin any more.
Loosing your virginity is a big step that you should be sure you want to commit to and are prepared to take, both emotionally and physically. That means being sure that you are ready and being prepared with adequate information and protection. I know you don't want to hear this, but at 14 you are unlikely to be truely ready to make the best decesion possible because you are unlikely to truely understand the longterm emotional consequences.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't do this because you are 14. I do not intend to patronise you - there is is not age when sex suddenly becomes the right thing. All I'm saying is that you are very young and that you don't seem to understand how big a step this is, as you are denying the fact that it is actually sexual intercourse. You should be thinking extremely carefully about what you really want in the long term. Your fears about rumours and being in trouble indicate that you aren't completely sure that this is the right thing at this stage in your life.
If you do go ahead with this, condoms are a must. You can buy a pack of three which shouldn't be too conspicuous from most pharmacies or general stores. I would not advise buying condoms from friends because you will not know how they have been looked after, which could have reduced their effectiveness. Condoms should not be allowed to get too warm, and keeping them in wallets (which guys often keep in their back pockets, and as such get very hot) or other warm places often leads to them decomposing slightly and being less effective, so it is far better to buy from a reputable place like a pharmacy and read the leaflet about how to look after them and use them for maximum effectiveness.
All the best.
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whooaaaa i say whoaaa!!! No no no, i just had to respond to this. You are 14 not that it means anything to you, here is 1 rule to live by IF YOUR NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BUY YOUR OWN CAR YOUR NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE EXPERIMENTING SEXUALLY. Why rush something like that, your young and the world is not going anywhere. Todays choices are tomorrows results, take my advice and wait no matter what your bf says and if he really cares about you he wont pressure you because he would respect how you feel.
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I don't think him putting his penis in your vagina is the best way to go if you just want to "experiment". For 2 reasons, 1: you are both only 14 and this will be something very intimate, and my concern is even if you arent planning on going through with the act of vaginal intercourse, this might trigger an emotional and pyschical response, and may have a fallout. 2: even if you had your bf wear a condom, let's look at the worst cast scenerio. He migh prematurely ejaculate in the exitement of being inside you for the first time. Remember that condoms are not 100% safe from getting you pregnant. Also, if it's his first time putting on a condom, he may put it on wrong, or it could slide off, which would be awkward and scary for you, especially if your worried about getting pregnant.
If the two of you really want to experiment, for now, just focus on doing things besides vaginal intercourse. There are lots of things you two can do so that you'll both be virgins, but not ignoramus virgins. There is a very good book about sex, sexuality, and physical love that I would recomend you read called THE JOY OF SEX by Alex Comfort. Dr. Comfort wrote this book with his wife, and they wrote it really to provide a way for people to get comfortable with sex and physical love, to know what is at stake, to take much of the pressure off, whether for virgins or for people who, while they may be experienced in general, are virgins to each other. I hope this anweres your question.
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Ok, first of all, sry to burst your bubble but that would be called sex by just about anybody's standards. If you do what you're talking about, you don't keep you your virginity. If your still thinking about it, DO NOT do it WITHOUT protection. it just isn't worth chancing. you can get condoms at most big conveinance stores, like grocery stores, Walmarts, walgreens, or maybe if there is a pharmacy near you. Besides big boxes, they also come in smaller , squarish boxes with only a couple each. No one is gonna refuse to let you buy them, just make sure you dont know whoever is at the checkout.
I'm not going to force my opinion on you, but it's your job to think (really, really consider this) if your ready, considering age, how you feel about him,etc. I don't know if you already done this, but it would be a good idea to first "experiment" in ways that don't go so far. Hope this helps.
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