Member Since: March 7, 2010
Answers: 69
Last Update: April 17, 2010
Visitors: 4647
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I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and i was worried about becoming pregnant, yes i know that was pretty stupid of ourselves but i cant take it back now. I got my period, it was a couple days early, and I'm bleeding more than usual, nothing too ridiculous though, and im having heavy cramps with blood clots. Is it safe to say that im not pregnant? whats up with the heavy cramps and stuff though? (link)
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You have your period, you are not pregnant, simple as that.
The seeming abnormalities sound within trhe range of normal variation, but you should consult your doctor if you think things are truly out of the scope of your experience. There are some good guidelines at the following website:
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/menstruation/a/menstruabnormal.htm
For the sake of your future and of those around you, use contraception in the future.
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Ok here goes. I'm a 26 year old female. I've been threw a lot of relationships that failed. And for a couple of years now I've been on my own. Lonely and quite miserble and I'm currently trying to peice my life back togeather. So about three weeks ago I met a guy at a bar, he was much older than myself ten years to be exact so I thought wow a refresher. Usually I date always date guys around my own age... So I was instantly drawn in to this guy. So we talked on the phone and he took me out to eat so... I taught it was cool. It has been a while since I've really been out with a guy. So after the date we started talkng he invited me to hs home and we were intimate. Big mistake to soon and my feelings for him instanstly started to multiply I mean heres a guy I've known for a week that I slep with and now I have serious feelings for him. So every night basicly after that I continued to go over his house and sleep with him. And lately starting last week he started to change he only invited me over one day and the other days he barley answered his phone or when we talked he barley even paid attention to our conversation. So yesterday which was easter My family was over and my sister brought him up in the conversation. And I started talking about him and to my utter amazement my brother and law knew him. He grew up in the same neighborhood and he told me things about the guy that was shoking to me. He told me that he was a drug dealer and he was married before. OMG that threw me for a loop because just earlier that day I was talking to him and I heard a female in his background and before I could say anything else he quickly said he was about to take a shower and he hung up his phone. No matter the low down things you hear about a person when you have feelings for them it's really hard to get over that person... Superhard to move on even though I know that he only wanted sex with me and he really didn't plan on getting to know me that's why he lied about it. But I know he will proably call me and I just dont know if I would have the strength to resist him. Olease tell me any ways that I could do to get him out of my life for good! (link)
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You met in a bar and hooked up immediately. You have the perfect way out. Just don't call him anymore. When he contacts you, be cool, and unavailable. If he asks what is going on just tell him that you had fun but you want to move on, no harm no foul. It was all just fun wasn't it? you were not looking for a serious relationship (at least that is what you tell him), and neither was he, so I doubt he will think more on it. Just don't as any drama into it about feelings.
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My ex boyfriend is trying to piss me off.He broke up with me about 8 days ago (the past 8 days have been a wreck for me) but we are on good friend terms and have hung out since the break up and have been fine. I still like him SOOO much but I have been trying not to show it. After a party the other day ,we all came back to my house..my ex included.They all ended up sleeping over and my ex tried to hookup with me (yes he was drunk) but he tried to make MAJOR moves on me.I stopped him ofcourse.The last few nights ,he will text my friend Greg and see what he's doing (my ex full well knows that im with greg because hes my best friends boyfriend ) and will end up showing up to wherever me and my friends are at. but will not call me or text me to see where I'm at.We've been getting along so good and i still feel our old connection.He texted me saying sorry for "trying to get with me " , another day he texted me about homework in our english class,and i texted him happy easter and he texted it back to me but not to much communication because the reason he broke up with me is because he needs "space" because we were together WAY to much. but on his facebook,he will "like" my two best friends (girls) status's but not mine,and called this girl a "cutie" in a public status too and his status's seem like he's so happy... but mine seem like that too because i don't want him to know I'm sad.It just seems like he's messing with me by doing all that stuff.We are pretty much forced to see eachother everyday because we have english together and he sits 2 seats in front of me..but i need tips on how to get him back into being interested in me.I want a guys opinion if possible! (link)
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ok, here is one male's perspective: he broke up with you because he was feeling "constrained" or "smothered" and wants the opportunity to be with other females. Why he feels that is anyone's guess (altho you might have a clue).
He got drunk and wanted you back, is hanging around you, and trying to put on a brave face. None of this is surprising. You do not have to do anything to get him back to interested in you, he still is interested. He sounds confused. My suggestion would be to let things cool down for a couple of weeks. Be nice but nonchalant when you see him. If after two weeks you still want him back, take him aside and ask him if he is enjoying his "freedom" or would he like to get back together.
no doubt there is a lot mroe to this relationship than you can provide in a brief note. SOmetimes people do need a little "space". more often than not, this is an excuse to seek greener pastures. Your best course of action is to be cool, not clingy or needy, and wait for nature to take its course. If he comes back, it will be his idea and there is no stronger evidence for a continued relationship than that.
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18/f
I'm not asking whether to have sex with this guy it's just concerns with my body parts that i'm worried about.
this guy has only had sex with one other girl, someone he was with for over 2 years and he hasn't done anything sexual with anyone else. the thing that worries me is when we start becoming sexual and my vagina is different, my boobs are different, my whole body is different obviously! i'm just worried that he will be kind of weirded out at first because of what he was so use to with his girlfriend. everyone is different, i understand that but it just makes me a bit self-conscious because what if he's like woah her vagina "lips" are so big, or just things like that?
has anyone else had this worry and a bit self-conscious? i'm comfortable with my body .. and i do have confidence it's just that one concern thats bothering me. (link)
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a male perspective: the vast majority of guys will be happy just to be close to your body parts and will not give a darn about whether you are different from his ex-girlfriend or not. i cannot imagine he will be "weirded out" by the size of your vagina lips. He is more likely to think "woohoo! vagina lips!". The only thing I can imagine that would weird him out would be if he wre to find you have a penis, lol. The male brain is hard-wired to appreciate the beauty and softness of the female form, so I can pretty much guarantee he will be totally enamored of you.
Keep in mind that his total experience is only with one person so he might well be feeling just as nervous about knowing enough to please you.
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i have this boyfriend and he's pretty sweet but he liks doing sexual stuff. he knows i'm a virgin and that i want to wait but he still wants to do things like oral and stuff. i'm pretty sure he likes me because he texts me all of the time and we talk about alot of things, not just sexual. infact we barely ever talk sexual, but when we're together he always wants to after we start making out and stuff. but i guess thats normal right? anyways i'm 18 and he's 17 but i'm scared he might be too young for me and especilly since girls mature faster than guys. do you guys think i should stay with him? any opinions would be awesome, thankss. (link)
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So you have a 17-year old boyfriend who wants to have sex after you start making out. This is a surprise to you, smile?
A year in age difference is bigger now than it will be when you are 28 and he is 27. Girls mature physically before boys do, mentally and socially they mature typically in different ways, not in degree. Girls talk about relationships and sexuality from the onset of puberty. Guys rarely discuss relationships period, and most sexual discussion is meaningless banter.
Nonetheless, the decision to have sex is yours alone, and you should go with your feelings. Does withholding sex increase the likelihood of friction in your relationship? Absolutely. Does that mean he is a pervert and you are a tease? Absolutely not, this is just the natural clash of hormones with intellect that most 17 and 18-year olds have had to deal with since time began.
Should you stay with him? If the two of you can enjoy each other despite this natural friction, of course. If, however, having sex becomes the primary focus of your relationship, one of you is going to have to compromise or recognize that this is a deal breaker. Only you and he can work out that part.
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So, i really, really want to go george mason university in the fall. My parents are being extremely difficult, though. It's the most expensive school I've been accepted to but it's not through the roof like a private school. I'm convinced that it's the best school for me out of all the school's I've been accepted to. I really need advice on what I can say to them to sell them on it.
Also, is it possible to get financial aid from a college just by calling them and asking them about it? (link)
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The answer is as simple as it is unpleasant: student loan. Recent changes to student loan programs make it a bit easier on the repayment side, but there is no doubt you will be incurring a debt to be repaid, at least in part, over a considerable period of time. Calling George Mason financial aid offices and finding out the precise nature of the likely loan amount and repayment options will give you all the information you need to make a life-changing decision. There is a really good web page with info, including a deferred payment plan, at:
http://financialaid.gmu.edu/programs/scholarships/
According to the site below, George Mason will cost you around $27K per year for tuition:
http://www.collegedata.com/cs/data/college/college_pg03_tmpl.jhtml?schoolId=1038
The majority of students received around $10K support, and over half took out student loans for the remaining $18K. 35% of the students received a merit-based gift (grades, SAT/ACT).
Now the tough part of my answer that you will probably not like to hear. If you really want to go to George Mason, the ball is in your court, not your parents. An obvious compromise is for them to provide the amount of support they think is reasonable and for you to come up with the rest through student loans, work, etc. Ultimately, however, it is your education, your life, and you who will benefit from realizing your dream of going to George Mason. Welcome to the adult world.
Good luck!
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whenever my "lovely" boyfriend and i make plans a few days before it never happens... and its frustrating and he says it me all the time... but when he comes home im always dressed waiting then he tells me how nice i look and asks me if we can go tomorrow... in my world tomorrow never comes and it never will... do you think he is just embrassed to be with me in public? we dont do nothing together never.... somedays i dont even see us with a future... should i even wait to see if things change (link)
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a male perspective: talking to him about it or "giving him the cold shoulder" sets you up for the role of a whiny nag or a ball-breaker. even if you get him to agree, he will resent it, and in the long run that will fester and manifest in any number of negative ways.
Men are simple, and you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. One way to approach this is to make going out more appealing and convenient.
You mention "he comes home", is he coming home from a long hard day? Some men need an hour to shed the ardors of the day before thinking of doing anything. Even a fun activity can seem like a chore. Remind him of how much fun he will have going out, how he enjoys being with friends or whatever activity it is you have planned. Remind him that going out with him will undoubtedly put you in a good mood, which could have all sorts of positive remifications, smile.
My point is, research shows that behavioral change is accomplished more easily through positive reinforcement than avoiding conflict or negative consequences.
A third option of course is to say, "i understand, you are tired. no worries, i think i will call my g/f and go out anyway. catch you next time". and then go have fun, coming back, telling him what a wonderful time it was and how you wished he could have been there with you.
If after all this, he doesn't bite, then you will have identified a problem in your relationship that might be a deal breaker.
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so i am majorly in love with this guy! he's the only one i wanna be with.. i told him i loved him and he didnt say it back.. which i didnt expect him to. but the thing about him is that he isnt very open about his feelings and i am obviously! how do i get him to open up to me? i really wanna be with him!!! :( thanks.. (link)
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cludy gave a great answer, i just want to add one thing about the meaning of "i love you" to men and women which sometimes is the root of the problem.
to some people, "i love you" represents an intensity and maturity of the relationship that puts you on the road to marriage and a lifetime commitment.
to other people, "i love you" is merely saying" i really have intense feelings for you" and implies nothing more than an entre to a sexual relationship.
The obvious stereotype is that men think the former and women the latter. Another stereotype is that cynical guys will say "i love you" simply because they know it is what a woman wants to hear. The point is that both parties need to understand what the words mean as applied to the present relationship. As always, communication is the key.
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Everytime I get a new "crush" when I was little, I'd like obsess over him but I was younger and doesn't every little girl? But I did stop for awhile but the I got my first boyfriend then after that it seemed like I had a month inbetween each boy. Some would last 6months or more and others would only last a month or two. My last boyfriend was a 1 monther and the break-up was from him and totally unexpected. I didn't have a "back-up" which was a good thing. It's been around 8 months now, since i've had a boyfriend. And there's this boy that clearly likes me and hes nice and blahh, all that good stuff. But... I'm just totally scared of the whole idea. I don't want to fall into another obsessing over guys kind of relationship. Any ideas on going forward without worrying and not falling back into that trak of boy after boy?? (link)
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Maybe ask yourself why they are not lasting relationships? Is there a consistent theme to the reasons for the breakups?
You do not give your age, but you seem young. In that case, most relationships are short-lived because both sides are still very immature and trying to figure out what it really means to be a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are having sex with each of these guys, that may be an issue for some counselling.
Most relationships have a honeymoon phase where everything seems perfect for the first little while. That wears off, and then the real work of the relationship begins. Many people cannot or will not commit to doing that work. If the relationship is not intended as a lifetime commitment it is easy to have a string of minor "flings". You use the word "obsessive" though, which makes me wondr if you just like the emotional cloudburst that accompanies each new relationship?
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My ex and i have been on and off.
The first time we dated we went to the same school but slowly drifted apart. we broke up then later i moved to my mothers house, he asked me out again and i said ok, but it was long distance and i never really got to see him.All was good until one night he sent me a message saying "i dont know why i asked you out again but i 100% dont have feelings for you anymore". I was crushed.
Im now back at my dads and we are both attending the same school again. He said he was sorry and i forgave him. I still like him, but hate myself for it. One day hes really nice then the next he hardly talks to me. What should i do? His parties coming up and i heard he was going to invite me should i go?
he acts asthough he still has feelings for me, and brings up are history alot. But is he just using me because he thinks he can have me back easily?
To make matters worse his brother dated my sister for 6 months and they lost there vaginity to each other. HELP
(link)
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male perspective: he is just not that into you, plain and simple. Guys do not angst over relationships anywhere near as much as girls. If you are around, cool, if not, that is cool too.
Is he being insensitive? self-centered? absolutely.
Are you willing to accept those realities and let him have all the power in the relationship? Totally up to you.
Hating yourself is wasted energy. Love yourself instead, convince yourself that you are a person worthy of respect. Keep that in mind and you will be able to figure out whether this guy is really worth your valuable time and energy. There are a TON of other guys out there, some that will even give you the respect you deserve. Having said that, you might not find one until you are in your twenties. One way to approach these relationships is with an expectation that they are immature by their very nature and so don't be so serious about them. I know, that is VERY hard to do
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My mom and I never get along or even talk. She's just not someone I can go up to and tell things to. Well im 17 and this summer im pretty sure im going to lose my virginity when im on vacation to visit my friends. Im ready, i love him and hes the right guy, i know more than most people know, im aware of the consequences and precautions i need to take. I just dont trust condoms alone, so id like to get on the pill before becoming sexually active. I would like to tell my mom so we can set up an appointment with the gyno, but im scared that i could ever have the courage to ask her or even talk to her about sex. She's told me tons of times "If you ever have sex, use protection. And tell me." My parents trust me already, but a part of me feels like..if i told them im going to start having sex..that they may take my freedom away from me and wont let me go on vacation. I was thinking about just going to Planned Parenthood behind their backs and getting it, but because of several reasons, theres no way i can actually get away with it and do it. (Long story, but its seriously impossible at this moment.) I was also thinking about just asking to go to the gyno because of period problems. (Ive actually had problems for the past year or two that my mom knows about) But she still refuses to give me medical attention no matter what the situation is. My parents know im cautious and responsible, unlike my sister. (She lost her virginity at 13 and they could care less.) So my question is - if you were in my position and never really talked to your mom..would you talk to her about becoming sexually active and getting on the pill? I guess the only thing holding me back is not knowing how she will react. Or should i just be careful and use a condom only...and when i come back from vacation..tell her im sexually active and need to be on the pill? (link)
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The days of "mother knows best" are long gone, relegated to dated fairytales and sitcoms. If you do not have a good relationship with your mother, talking to her about losing your virginity is unlikely to be a productive and mature conversation.
You seem to have thought this out well. My advice would be to seek out a "trusted adult", either a relative, friend of the family or professional (the gyno idea seemed sound, and a reasonable explanation re your period).
You might also consider talking to a pharmacist, he/she can make recommendations on choices and also refer you to your own obs/gyn practitioner.
An alternative concrete suggestion would be to tune into an episode of "16 and pregnant" on MTV while your mom is in the room. It may open an avenue for a reasonable conversation to begin and will probably give you an inkling of how she might react to the subject.
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I moved into a new city last summer, and there's this guy that lives 3 houses down that goes to my school. He always looks at me when we see eachother during school, and even stared at me when i walked into one of his classes. I want to talk to him and i think he may want to too, but he has a girlfriend. We pass eachother everyday after a class and i dont know how to approach him. Next time i see him walk by, what should i say/ask to get a conversation started? What are some other things i could do to show that im interested besides smile? (link)
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Male perspective (and therefore simple): say hi.
seriously, you have the obvious conversational icebreaker, ask him about the neighborhood. is ther ea good place to eat? walk? workout? hang out? whatever.
no doubt you will find out he is just as awkward about this as you are.
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A few months ago, i had a really bad cold sore at the corner of my mouth. And it finally went away 2-3 weeks later. Now i have another one in the SAME exact spot. Is it possible it could be something else and not a cold sore? (Like an STD. Ive never given oral, but theres been contact outside of my mouth.) (link)
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Is is possibly an STD? yes. IS it likely? depends on the type and amount of contact.
How do you make sure? go see your doctor. More detailed information is available at:
http://www.ehow.com/how_4853774_treat-cold-sores-lips.html
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Is it safe to have sex in a hot tub? I heard that the water can get up in you and cause infections or something. Also, is there a greater chance the condom will slip? (link)
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If you have sex in a hottub, the risk of a condom breaking or slipping increase for obvious reasons (heat, water movement). Since the sex itself will leave you "open", of course water will flow inside you. The chances of a yeast infection or STD hence increase but to what degree is hard to estimate. If it was a huge increase, everyone having sex in hot tubs would be getting infections and STD's which is clearly not the case.
For more information:
http://contraception.about.com/od/additionalresources/ss/watersex_7.htm
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Hello my husband wants to add me to his car title. Does anybody know how much it would cost, and how to go about doing that? I live in Michigan if that helps! Thanks (link)
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the two of you just have to show up at the DMV and transfer the title. In short he "seels" the car to the two of you for zero dollars. you have to pay the transfer fees and registration fees. more detailed information can be found at:
http://www.ehow.com/how_5487567_add-husband-car-registration-title.html
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do you think it would be better if all men died out and only their sperm was saved so the female population would die out? We could eat the men and also reduce world hunger. Just think, Bush and Cheney would be gone along with all those other assholes. We could keep the gay, sensitive ones for the sperm, right?
what a perfect world it would be.
what do you think? (link)
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oh come on, you would miss us, wink.
it wouldn't be perfect, you wouldn't have anyone to complain about except other women....hehehehe
there is a great website for battle of the sexes jokes at:
http://www.mjb.org/jokes/menwomen/index.shtml
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I never really have any good feelings- i'm always either depressed, bored, sad or apathetic. Haven't felt happy or even angry in AGES, and am sick of it. Could this be because i got less naive (i found out how much the world sucks, etc, after finding out my mom committed suicide and my friend was molested). Also, how do i END this annoying similarity of my feelings.days, etc? I've been kinda contemplating suicide, but only jokingly. masturbation doesn't work either- makes me more depressed. i like art but when i'm at art school i feel calm, not really happy though. When i laugh at a joke i get this .5 second uplift in spirits but then become sardonic and dark all over again. Any advice would be appreciated. (link)
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Feeling down can be due to a chemical imbalance, a learned habit, or in response to difficult circumstances. You can take heart perhaps in knowing that EVERYONE at some point in life feels down and despondent. It is estimated that one in five people are depressed at any given time, so you are not alone. The good news is that in this modern age there are a lot of ways to deal with these feelings.
You say you have been down consistently for a long time and even passively contemplating suicide. These are signals that you should seek professional help. Contact your doctor ASAP.
In the meanwhile, below is a helpful resource for folks dealing with anxiety and depression. You will find informational resources and people online at www.stresscenter.com who can help you immediately, even if it only to start a dialogue. There is no charge for these services. Good luck!
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16/f
Is it weird that my boyfriend will do anything to help this one girl, including telling everyone he is going out with her? when he has been with me for just over 5 months, i'm probably over reacting a bit I don't get why. maybe i'm not good enough any more. (link)
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Is it weird? No. Is it wrong? Yes.
This is not a flaw or weakness in you.
This is about a teenage boy being insensitive, which is not terribly surprising. It could mean that he has moved on emotionally, or it just could be hot empty air meant to impress his friends.
You can choose to ignore it or hit it head on by telling him that if he wants to continue to stay with you, he needs to stop saying he is going out with someone else. You did not sign on to be part of a harem, smile.
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My boyfriend does not like to hold hands in public. He is not overly affectionate, or clingy, nor does he get jealous very easily.
All of these things are fine I dont normally mind, except the hand holding thing. I love holding hands, and in the 5 months we've been dating hes maybe held my hand twice.
It actually kind of bothers me because I almost feel like hes to ashamed of me to hold my hand.
How can I Change this? I dont want to order him to hold my hand that would just be ridiculous. Anything subtle I can do, or should I just leave it alone? (link)
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A male perspective: Guys are not subtle. Ask him if it makes him uncomfortable and why. He may well have a good reason.
Tell him that it is one of those little things that means something to you, like how wonderful he is to you in some other way (cheesy perhaps, smile). You can promise him that you won't jump him in public, but you really would like to hold hands from time to time.
If he is not into it, however, you need to decide how important it is to you. If you two have a great relationship otherwise, this is a fairly small issue. If on the other hand, this sparks a strong negative reaction in him, you may have bigger issues to address.
If worse comes to worst, you could always put crazy glue on your hand......
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18/m, student at college. When writing a covering letter, how much do you need to suck up? I have googled lots of websites for advice, but its all the standard info, nothing practical (greatly). Like this cookie store has a part-time opening. They are litterelly known for the best cookies in the city, but i dont know if i should put that? Because it seems a bit "im desperate for the job"?
Theres also a family run coffee store/deli opening. They dont even have a website, so i can't even research the company? Any idea's for that. I do have a passion for food, but i dont think thats enough? Any practical help withh be great, thanks in advance folks :) (link)
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There are varied opinions on cover letters. Some "business" experts suggest making a splashy, enthusiastic letter that garners attention. Over the years, I have been more impressed by simple statements of fact such as:
Dear ____;
Please accept the attached resume in application for the present part-time opening in your company as a _____. I am an 18 year-old college student looking for an opportunity to get practical work experience and help pay the rent.
"I am confident that I can do a good job for your company. I am well aware that your company takes pride in the qulaity of your cookies and customer service.I am reliable as evidenced by _____. You can get confirmation of my good character from the references supplied in the resume.
I am available for an interview at your convenience and employment as of (date) and can be most easily reached at (phone number). I look forward to hearing from you."
Key things employers are looking for are reliability and flexibility.
good luck!
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