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Birth Control
My mom and I never get along or even talk. She's just not someone I can go up to and tell things to. Well im 17 and this summer im pretty sure im going to lose my virginity when im on vacation to visit my friends. Im ready, i love him and hes the right guy, i know more than most people know, im aware of the consequences and precautions i need to take. I just dont trust condoms alone, so id like to get on the pill before becoming sexually active. I would like to tell my mom so we can set up an appointment with the gyno, but im scared that i could ever have the courage to ask her or even talk to her about sex. She's told me tons of times "If you ever have sex, use protection. And tell me." My parents trust me already, but a part of me feels like..if i told them im going to start having sex..that they may take my freedom away from me and wont let me go on vacation. I was thinking about just going to Planned Parenthood behind their backs and getting it, but because of several reasons, theres no way i can actually get away with it and do it. (Long story, but its seriously impossible at this moment.) I was also thinking about just asking to go to the gyno because of period problems. (Ive actually had problems for the past year or two that my mom knows about) But she still refuses to give me medical attention no matter what the situation is. My parents know im cautious and responsible, unlike my sister. (She lost her virginity at 13 and they could care less.) So my question is - if you were in my position and never really talked to your mom..would you talk to her about becoming sexually active and getting on the pill? I guess the only thing holding me back is not knowing how she will react. Or should i just be careful and use a condom only...and when i come back from vacation..tell her im sexually active and need to be on the pill?
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The days of "mother knows best" are long gone, relegated to dated fairytales and sitcoms. If you do not have a good relationship with your mother, talking to her about losing your virginity is unlikely to be a productive and mature conversation.
You seem to have thought this out well. My advice would be to seek out a "trusted adult", either a relative, friend of the family or professional (the gyno idea seemed sound, and a reasonable explanation re your period).
You might also consider talking to a pharmacist, he/she can make recommendations on choices and also refer you to your own obs/gyn practitioner.
An alternative concrete suggestion would be to tune into an episode of "16 and pregnant" on MTV while your mom is in the room. It may open an avenue for a reasonable conversation to begin and will probably give you an inkling of how she might react to the subject.
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I think that you should sit down with her and talk to her about it, it will make you seem alot more responsible because you went to her about it. You don't really have to tell her that you are going to have sex, just tell her that you would rather be safe than sorry and that way if it does happen then you are prepared. You can also let her know that you are still a virgin at this point and just want to make sure that you take all the precautions to prevent pregnany, stds, etc. Use condoms along with the pill also just to be extra careful. You are 17 and if she says no then I would tell her that you are going to go yourself and get on it, I think that as long as you sit down and make a good argument that she will be fine with it and take you. Showing your responsibility by talking to her will be a great step in the right direction.
I also want to say that I think it's great that you are being so smart about the whole situation, kudos for you.
Hope I Helped & Good Luck :)
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well if you gonna tell your mom anyway after the vacation...why not tell her now. I mean if you tell her now you can get the pill and be extra protected on vacation rather then only being extra protected afetr it. Im sure they will still let you go because they know you are responsible. You are getting to an age a lot fo people lose their virginity, so i think you should tell her. Sneeking behinde her back wouldnt be a good thing and you would worry about it durning the vacation..Hope i helped!
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oaky using a condom alone will always keep you wondering on your vacation..now vacations are suppose to be relaxing and fun..you dont wanna worry about if your pregnant or not im sure.. but you said your mom didnt care less bout your sister losing her virginty at 13! thats young..but anyways you should tell her you want to get on the pill.. any questions she asks all ya got to do is answer really no big deal.. um actually asking for the pill is responsible.. you could not be responsible and run off have sex and then al the sudden be pregnant now how responsible does that sound.. Just be real with your mom.. Much luv dez x0x0
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You said your mom refuses to give you medical attention about your periods, but if it's affecting you and your life, you should be able to go to the gyno to get that checked out. Of course, while you're there, try to get yourself on the pill.
If you're seventeen, I imagine you have friends who drive and stuff, so I'd imagine you could get one of them to give you a ride to the planned parenthood centre if going to the gyno doesn't work out.
It sounds like you're responsible and mature, and I wish you luck.
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I would just go to the doctor myself, without telling her. It's none of her business.
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hmmm, If your relationship is really good with mom I'd probably say something.They can put you on the pill to regulate your periods if you think that may work somehow?
What abouot your local health department? Could you go there? They would put you on the pill.
See if she won't let you go to see about your problems. That may be the best bet if you can't go to the health dept. Just tell her why as a last resort.
Condom's alone is better than nothing but they have been known to break.
If all else fail's go to your local pharmacy and by a product called ENCARE, I think that's the name.(been awhile) It is a spermicidal vaginal suppository type birth control that I used for years.I didn't like the pill. It worked for me and is much better than condom alone. Will work without condom as well but you can't be to safe these day's so use both. The only draw back with it is that you have to insert it before you have sex.....Have to do the condom too so it's not that big a deal. They sorta foam up and it give's you a warm feeling so don't be alarmed by that. It explain's how to use it on the box.
If you need further info or anything feel free to email me, address is on my column.:)
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OK this is pretty much exactly what happened to me at 17 so maybe I can be of some help here! I was with my boyfriend and decided that I wanted to have sex with him but i was sure that my mum would never be happy about this because of what she said in the past. So i went to the doctors on my own and was put on the pill. Then a few weeks later my mum said to me that she thought i should start thinking about contraception so i had to tell her the truth. She was soooooo upset that i hadnt told her about going on the pill and things werent the same between us for months afterwards. Therefore i really think you should talk to your mum about this especially as she has said in the past that she wants you to talk about it. It will be hard cos i know exactly how you feel but really it'll be best in the long run just to get it all out in the open! Good luck!
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hey i'm not the best at this but this is what i would do. like you said you mom told you that if you ever have sex use protection...well there you go be like mom remember when we talked about this well i remembered that you said if i ever have sex i should use protection...well mom i'm coming to you for help to maybe think about getting on the pill because i dont trust condoms alone. and at 17 a lot of things can happened and let her know. going to her about it is responsible then coming back and then letting her know. i hope i helped. take care. x3 SweetStar.
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yes... i would definatly talk to her.. even tho you two dont talk alot.. she still would like to know.. and I really dont think she'll take it that bad.. I mean.. your tryin to make having sex as safe as possible.. and you completly understand the consequences.. she'll just want to no what your doing.. because if she finds out that you went behind her back to get the pill and went and had sex i think she'd be real mad.. Just when you go to ask her... just say its something really important and you need her help
I hope I helped
Jamie*
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