Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32626
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mmkay... so theres this guy that Ive been talking to a lot lately, and he says that Im cute and really nice to talk to. He said that nothing would probably happen anytime soon, considering our age difference, and considering he lives in another state. I know what you're thinking, nothing would ever happen, and this girl should date/like someone her own age. I've tried. I just cant stop thinking about him. Just talking to him puts a smile on my face. He said that in the future, we'll never know what might happen. We might be together. I told him that he didnt have to say that stuff just because I like him. I told him to say exactly what he was thinking. Then he said that he thinks I'm amazing. He's a really sweet guy, and he says that he's gonna wait till he gets married to have sex. (dont ask how that came up) But... I dont know what to do. Obviously, nothing's going to happen anytime soon, but is there any hope for me at all? (link)
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A man of age 19 years old showing interest in someone of age 14 and you don't see where this is wrong???...
It should raise concerns, At 19 he is a man legally. Stay away from him, Maybe when you get older (18) when you are legal you can consider dating. However for now you are a minor and he is an adult and can get in serious trouble. That's WRONG
EDIT: Yes, I read everything you wrote and I stick to what I said above. The man is a pervert for looking at little children.
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I am in summers school. I'm not in summer school for failing or being dumb or nothing like that. Im going to be a junior next year and I decided to go to summer school to take senior classes, so I wont have to take them when I become a senior. Its some program that my school has. A teacher that I have a crush is teaching a class. He knows that I have a crush on him and he jokes around and calls me his girlfriend and puts his arm around me. I think hes just playing and he tells other people that hes just playing. One day he called me his girlfriend in the front office in front of the counselor and the principle and they didn't say anything, the counselor just laughed. Ok, during our little lunch break everyone was in the cafeteria and I was talking in the hallway with one of my friends. My teacher asked me could I take something to the office for him and I went in his class to go get it. He gave me some papers and put is arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the forehead. Is that wrong? (link)
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Yes, It's highly innapropriate.
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Okay lets say you knew this girl was fourteen dating a sixteen year old boy, if you found out that she (she's now fifteen) let him finger her, gave him a hj and a bj, would you judge her?? they dated for seven months. I think you can see that I'm the girl... haha (link)
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This will be a little blunt..
I am a firm believer in waiting until at least 17, Younger folks that are sexually experienced I normally don't respect or really care for. I find them under peer presure and uneducated.
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Okay... I have a question. I am fifteen now, but I was fourteen at the time, and my bf was sixteen. When we were dating I was what you would call "whipped". I basically let my bf do whatever he wanted, except when he asked for a hand job. I kept telling him no, no, no. But one night we were hanging out and making out on the couch. We were getting pretty into it and all of the sudden he just pulled down his shorts, grabbed my hand, put it on his you know what, and started moving my hand with his hand. It happened so quick, it took me a second to realize what was going on and when I did I pulled my hand away and started crying. I never even talked to him about it after that... but now that were broken up it keeps coming back to me and I don't know why. It wasn't that bad was it?? I don't know what to do... why is this bothering me so muchh??? (link)
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Don't go back to him, Ignore him.
Pulling his pants down and putting your hands on his penis after you've said no, He pressured you into doing something you didn't want to do. Clearly, He disrespected you. Is it worong? Yes.
Date someone who respects you, Will wait until you are ready and won't pressure you or force you into doing something you don't want to do. It's bothering you because you know it was wrong, Don't EVER let a guy control you.
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My fiance and I joined a gym about 2 years ago. We went for a year, then decided to trim it out of our budgets because $80 a month for the two of us was a little steep. We received a letter notifying us that we had 30 days to cancel in person or we would have our membership automatically renewed for another year. My fiance (whose name both memberships were under for credit purposes) was, at the time, away on military training, and unable to make it in to the gym. He called and asked if he could cancel over the phone because of his circumstances. They said it wouldn't be a problem, and that they'd take care of it.
Fast forward a few months, and we're still paying. We call, he talks to the manager, manager apologizes and tells him that our overpayment will be refunded and that our membership will be cancelled. Good enough.
Fast forward ANOTHER few months, and we have now been paying for this gym membership for the last 8 months, even though we've called to get it cancelled about 2 dozen times. Every time the manager isn't in (only works select weekdays during business hours. We tried to e-mail the head office, but received no response. We called the head office yesterday, and they said they wouldn't have any records of our phone calls, and that they'd have to talk to the manager of the branch (who of course wasn't in). After all this, I checked our bank balance again today and they charged us ANOTHER bi-monthly payment AFTER our phone call, even though she told us our membership had been cancelled!
I am furious and frustrated. We're out about $900 because of this, and we're both students. We haven't cancelled the automatic withdrawal, because we're worried that his credit will take a hit if we don't make payments.
What is our recourse if the gym decides they don't want to refund our money? There are apparently no recordings of the phone calls (because we're naive, and gave them the benefit of the doubt) and the manager can easily just lie. We can't afford a lawyer to take them to small claims court.
Please tell me there's some hope for us. (link)
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When you join the Gym they should of given you an agreement paper that had the signiture of the owner on it. If you still have this paper, Save it you are going to need it.
This is a case that you are going to have to take to court, Go to your local bank print up all the bank statement records take it with you.
If you can't afford a lawyer at this time, Look into getting a public defender they are free.
You could also go in person and speak to the manager, Better to record the conversation. More proof the better. Likewise, You are looking at pressing charges.
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I had sex with my ex when we was still together of course and iam considering to tell my mom that her little girl is no longer a virgin but i don't know how to break the news to her even though iam 21 years old i still live with my mom and my mom treats me like iam still 12. what should I do? (link)
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You are 21 years old...
What you do with your life sexually is your buisness to know. At the age of 21, It is not a crime if you do not share this sort of information with your mother. I'm pretty sure your mother already has a good idea you are sexually active anyway.
To the point, Some things are better left kept to ourselves. You are an adult
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I was just wondering what would be the best method of protection during intercourse to not get pregnant. My question only deals with preventing pregnancy, my boyfriend and I have been checked and are healthy and clean. The only thing is we both are not a huge fan of condoms. And i dont like the idea of something being lodged inside me as a disk or something. So I was thinking maybe I should try 'the pill'. But i'm not sure how effective it is and am not positive where to get it. And I do not want to ask my doctor to prescribe birth control pills. (link)
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For birth control you should schedule an appointment with your gyocologist.
Remember, Even birth control doesn't always bail you out from pregnancy. The birth control pill I believe is 98% effective. Using a condom will prevent STD's...Birth control won't. Be smart remember it only takes ONE time and that ONE time can be on birth control too.
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This summer has been kind of bad for me. I did some not so great things so far, especially for my age (16). I've had sex with probably close to 15 or 20 guys already this summer and one of them was pretty old (like 35). I was falling into some really bad stuff and even accepted money for a few blow jobs.
I am now seeing that this is probably not the best thing to do. I am so glad I am not pregnant but there seems to be this one really big problem.
I started to have some weird discharge from my vagina and burning when I peed. I thought it was just a yeast infection and kind of ignored it. I tried some of that store brand stuff and it didn't go away.
Things kind of got stranger. I had sex with another guy and it was pretty painful but I couldn't figure out why. I started having some lower pains all day long. The pains haven't stopped.
I looked up signs and symptoms of STDs because I was afraid I might have caught something. I do have a lot of the symptoms of chlamydia and I think it's very possible that I have it. Some of the guys I did were...not so clean...
What do I do now? I can't tell my mom about this because she's going to be mad she has to take me to the doctor. Will it go away on it's own? Can I buy medicine at the store for it? If I have sex like tomorrow would I pass it to the guy or could I do something to clear this up and make it safe again? (link)
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See a Gynecologist
Also, Stop prostituting yourself because basically that's what you did and start using your head more. This is not healthy, and a 35 year old man is old enough to be your frigging father for Christ sake.
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My boyfriend and I were fooling around last month or so and we ended up having sex. We used protection though because we're both 15 and a baby is something we do NOT need right now. I had bought a small box of condoms just a few days before then, luckily.
So, we had sex and I had lost my virginity to him. I wasn't really worried about getting pregnant because I thought we were safe and doing it responsibly by using a condom. We had a great time but haven't had sex since then, by the way.
Now I am having a serious problem. My period hasn't come yet and it's pretty late (which is REALLY weird for me). I went out and bought a pregnancy test from the store and took it. It showed the positive sign on it so I guess I'm pregnant.
How'd I get pregnant? This doesn't even make sense to me! I mean, for one I was a VIRGIN. For two, we used a CONDOM. I didn't even have an orgasm when we were actually having sex. Is it really possible to get pregnant even though we used a condom?
My mom is going to be sooo mad! :( (link)
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Condoms don't always work sweetie and being a virgin doesn't lower your chances of becoming pregnant. Be honest with your mother, In time she will adjust to the situation. Also, Seeking planned parenthood will help you out too.
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I gave this guy head at my school. He really wanted me to do it so I did. No, it wasn't my first time giving a blow job though.
Now I heard that he has some STD or something. I don't know much about it. It could be a straight rumor for all I know about this. I just want to know if I'm clean because I've been doing some stuff with my BF lately.
My boyfriend would totally kill me if I gave him something. haha
Can you get STDs in your throat or mouth or am I safe? Can I test myself some way without having to go all the way to the doctor? (link)
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Yes it's possible
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Hello i have a question. I have started growing as of you know and I am about turn 13 i havent got my period yet alot of my friends say thats unnormal is that true??? And I dont like talking to my mom about it it makes me feel un comfertable so i need help thanks alot (link)
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Nope not at all, You are perfectly normal
Everyone is different, Everyone hits puberty at different times.
I didn't get my period until I was 15, Nothing wrong with you just be patient and certainly don't be in no hurry to get a period...It isn't fun
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my boyfriend and i just got back togeather agian,and i just found out that he was dating me and another girl,and both of us did not know what to do,so i am wondering what should i do,because every time i jump him he keeps begging to be back,and when i said NO!!!! he fliped out and hit the wall and said that next time it would not be the wall but instead my car. (link)
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Your boyfriend is an ass
Dump him, Cut contact with him and keep it that way. You deserve so much better.
From the brief statement you've given...
1. He's controlling
2. Manipulative
3. Isn't trust worthy
4. Doesn't respect you
Stand your ground and Dump him, Guys that appreciate their girlfriends DON'T treat them like crap. Break it off and move on
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17/f. My best friend is getting harrassed by a boy she very briefly new. They went on like 3 dates. One day, he started accussing her of this weird stuff that never happened. After that, hes been sending her texts like "fuck you" .."I just wante to let you know.. Your a fucking idiot." they dated in january, and he is still continuing this. Also, my friend recently had an eating disorder. (almost died) he was making fun of her for it. This guy is just such a jerk. His best friend dated this one girl I knew and he only dated her to have sex with her and cheated on her all the time that jerk found it "funny." he just isn't a good person and we don't know what to do to get him to leAve her alone. (link)
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Save all the emails, Texts, Voice mails and go to the police. This is wrong
I've dealt with this sort of crap before, Save it all and go to the police, They will then likely give the gentlemen a phone call and warning to knock off the shit.
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I'm a tomboy and none of the girls like to be friends with me and boys I like only like me as a sister?
My brother is always telling me that guys don't like tomboys. most of my friends are guys or other tomboys, they're exactly like me and i'm sort of a misfit or a person who doesn't fit in with anyone else. I have a couple of girls that are my friends. I still haven't had a first kiss yet. And I'm such a tomboy that one of the guys i like called me his sister. I don't like dress,skirts and heels. I don't feel comfortable in them. Most of the girls wear them and it always gets my guy friends attention and I don't ear that stuff. My friends tell me that they don't think i'm ugly they just think of me as a home girl because I like the same things they do and I hang with them too much and I don't dress girly. Is it bad to be such a tomboy that most girls would've dressed nicer like a dress or skirts everyday but I wear jeans and tennis shoes? And how do i know if a guy likes me? (link)
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Don't ever be ashamed of who you are
I myself am the biggest tomboy I've ever met and to this day I couldn't be any happier to be one.
I also would never wear skirt, dresses, heels, makeup, etc.
Different guys like different girls, Your brother is only stating his opinion on what he thinks of tomboys. Does every guy think this? No.
Some guys find it extremely attractive in females when they express themselves. Some guys feel the female isn't afraid to be themselves, they aren't insecure and most of all they don't care what other people think about them.
Just be yourself, Be happy with it. When a guy likes you, You will know. They will flirt with you, They will smile, They will sometimes stare at you, Act nervous etc.
Don't change who you are, Be happy to be the girl in baggy pants and a tee shirt!
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I'm 18 and my bf is 19, we are planning on getting married, is it the right thing to do? (link)
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No
You are way to young to be thinking of marriage, You have years ahead of you for that.
People who marry young have a high risk for divorce, I highly suggest you wait. Weddings are expensive and divorces are not cheap either.
Don't rush into it, Continue doing what you are doing and be happy. At least wait until you are both over 21. You'll be better off that way
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When you masturbate is it bad for your health? (link)
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No, Masturbation is considered healthy.
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My boyfriend's 18th birthday day is coming up and I wanted to get him a plane ticket to where he used to live.. but his parents said no. (I know he's 18 but he still lives under his parents roof.)
We live in Rhode Island so I was thinking about taking him to Block Island for the day but I also want to get him a really nice present.. I just don't know what.
I'm willing to spend around $300.
Thanks for the help! :) (link)
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I also live in Rhode Island
Why don't you try taking him to Newport? Maybe you could do the Cliff walk?
You could also try taking him to Step Stone Falls it's a great place near the Coventry area...Here's a link..
http://www.visitrhodeisland.com/what-to-do/bird-watching-and-nature-walks/1258/step-stone-falls/
I'm not sure where in RI you live but with 300 bucks you could take your boyfriend on an awesome day trip to Boston. The train departs from Providence just check the AMTRAK website :)
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I have a question about getting my ears pierced. So I'm gunna get my ears pierced this friday and im 14 which is kinda lateish for a girl my age i guess but i got them done when i was little but let them close up ..ok ahah whatver. anyways when i get them done does it hurt? I remember it hurt maybe cuz i was just little or something. And one more thing would it be bad to get like your first and second piercing done at the same time? will it hurt? THANKYOU (link)
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Too make you feel better, I got my ears pierced when I was two years old...
If someone who is two years old can handle it then there should be no problem for you. Does it hurt?...Sure ain't nothing more than just a little pinch.
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My mom is a single parent and I'm an only child. She broke her wrist and she's been on disability since January. I just found out that we have to go on welfare and that we might lose our apartment.
I really need to find a job to help support me and my mom.
Please suggest anything for me to do. I'm desperate at this point... (link)
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Thirteen is a very difficult age to find a Job..in fact it's almost impossible. Most jobs hire no younger than 16 and even then you need working papers. The jobs that you might qualify for are:
Babysitting
Dog Walking
You could try making lollipops and selling them
Dog Sitting
There isn't much out there for 13 but you could try those.
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i am 20 my ex bf is 21. we were together for the pass two years. we were on and off for those two years for various reasons. we broke up this febuary and tried to be friends which didnt work because we spent all day together, talked to each other more than our friends, and were intimate but just didnt label ourselve bf/gf. we completly stopped all of this in march.
during our relationship, he wanted me to change some things to better myself and "our" future at the time. examples: like a better job, or move out, be more comfortable around his friends and family. (i was a shy girl).
three weeks ago, i was the one who texted him two weeks ago. we had lunch and he asked how i was doing and how my life was going. i told him i had found a much better job, i wasnt even looking just came across it from a friend and was hired. i went on his dream vacation and to a basketball game of his favorite team. i am even more open to people i meet and less shy, thanks to him. after lunch i asked to be friends, he said he couldnt handle it. he could never introduce me to anyone as his friend because he still loves me and cares for me too much. he couldnt even be my friend on facebook because he would get jealous and look at my fb stats. a week later we decided to be friends, he was hesitate at first but agreed to be actual friends this time.
then i told him my plan that i might move out because i am fiancially set now. he freaked out on me and said he cant be my friend. he thinks im doing this just to get back or make him jealous. he thinks i didnt make myself better when i was with him because i didnt care about him enough. he knows that its spiteful and he should be happy for me but he cant be. he said that im going to be the perfect girl and i will be with someone else so we cannot be friends. then he told me. "i hope whoever you marry, you have learned to love." this might have been out of anger when he saw me with a guy two nights ago.
i did grow up and mature from when i met him two years ago. but i am not doing this to make him jealous or to get him back. we had a lot of issues that we needed to work on and i think we are better off single or not with each other for now at least. i do love him and always will. he has helped me mature in so many ways and i have told him thank you numerous times, thats why i want him in my life as a friend. maybe years down the road we could be together but not now.
i just want to be his friend and have him understand that i am doing this for myself more then anyone else. i dont want him to be spiteful either but i know i cant force it on him and he has to do it alone...any word of advice?
Thanks
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Sit down with him and talk to him, Simply tell him that you have a few things you feel that he should know.
Explain to him how you feel, If you still love him (assuming you do) then tell him that. Let him know that life has turned around for you for the better and you are ready to take a leap at the important things in life and if he is with you, That you'd like to take that leap in life with his support.
Sometimes with people, They are afraid of change. People who are in their late teens and early twenties are on their way to taking the next step in life. Better Jobs, Ending or Attending College, Moving out, and this is were many of us hesitate and become confused. Your ex sounds like he doesn't know what he wants..
This is yours to find out, Sit him down and talk it out sometimes a successful relationship means setting a goal together. If you just wanted to remain friends with your spouse..You could try it. However, If you do maybe cut down the amount of time you spend with him because in the end it will only go back the way it did previously. If your ex is too afraid to take a leap at life and is "jealous" of your changes and independence then maybe it would be best just to be friends and not try the relationship again as then you will realize you'd be in two different stages in your lives. Talk to him but at the same time don't let him hold you back by his hesitating.
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