about

Hey everyone! My name is Jessi and I'm 15/f/IL. I've always been excellent at giving advice...or so I've been told by my friends. So you can ask me anything and everything...although I have a rather special talent for makeup emergencies (considering my mom sells it) and for dealing with affairs of the heart. (Some of my friends automatically come to me for boy problems.)
And, without further ado...my advice column!

advice

what do i do? my girlfriends's best friend hates me (or so i think)... (14/m) any advice is good, thank you

Your question was very brief, but I'm going to try to help you the best that I can...

You think your girlfriend's best friend hates you...but you don't know for sure. So if I were you, ask this friend of your girl. Say, hey, I don't know if this is true, but I really feel sometimes you're not real fond of me...do you really dislike me? If she says no, problem solved, you're just paranoid! (Joke!)

If she says yes, talk to her about it. Ask her why she doesn't like you, and tell her you want to be friends with her, because you don't want this to come between you and your girlfriend. (Because I'm assuming you don't.) And if she refuses to let bygones be bygones, talk to your girlfriend about it, to make sure that it won't come between your relationship. Make sure you let your girlfriend know that you tried to be friends with this other girl, but sometimes people just clash, and let her know you will try to be civil around her friend, even if you don't like each other.

Hope I helped!

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Hey..I'm only 14, and a girl. Lol. Well, I have a lot going on in mii life, I have had three boyfriends, and I am pretty good in school, but when it comes to makeup, I need help. I know that I look fine and everything, but when I do make up, I hate the results..does anyone have any good tips? I mean mii make-up doesn't look horrible, I just want to look better, but I don't seem to be any more pretty. Thanks! ;-) Katie

Like I think I've said before in my column, my mom sells Mary Kay makeup, and I've learned all I know about such things from her! So here we go!

First of all, before you do ANYTHING, decide which feature on your face you think is your best feature: your lips or your eyes? This feature is the one you will play up the most. (NEVER play up both, you will look like you have WAY too much makeup on and like you are a drag queen.)

Now, if you think your eyes are your best feature, eye shadow colors are very tricky. Many are misled about what colors to be using. Too many girls wear shadow that matches their outfit...this is a NO-NO, with a capital N! You ALWAYS want the shadow to match your eyes. Therefore, if you have brown eyes, wear earthier tones, such as different shades of green and brown. If you have green eyes, green and some shades of blue are nice. If your eyes are blue, go for the blue eye shadow. But when you are doing blue, make sure it's not too bright and distracting! And if you are too confused about all of it, go for a shimmery white color, you can't go wrong with that, as long as you don't apply so much that your eyes look bright white.

Eyeliner is VERY optional. If you don't know how to apply it, I would recommend pulling the outside corner of your eye a little (so you look Chinese momentarily) and try to apply in a thin, straight line. It IS possible to put too much eyeliner on, so you may want to play around with it for a bit, some Sunday where you aren't doing anything anyway, so you can decide what you like best.

If you have light eyelashes, mascara is wonderful. You want to buy a clump-free, waterproof mascara. Do not put on too much or eyelashes will stick together and it just looks weird. Less is more, less is more!

Then, when it comes to lips, since you played up the eyes, you want to play down your lips. A simple clear gloss is classic.

But, if you decided your lips are your best feature, give them some color, and a little gloss! It depends on your skin tone, however. Light skin tone = pinks. Tanner skin tone = reds. If you are African-American...then I recommend dark pinks and reds, maybe even dark purples!

Blush, if you want, can be applied as long as it still matches your skin tone. Do not, for instance, choose a bright, salmon pink if you have a pale skin tone and just go to town with it. Make sure it's suttle so people don't look at you and think you look like a little china doll! And when you apply blush be sure that you take strokes up your cheek bone...do not focus right on the cheek area beneath your eyes or you WILL look like a china doll.

Well, that's all the advice I can give without knowing more specifics! Sorry my answer was so long, but makeup is definitely something I know about! If you need more help, my AIM is HolyPeaches16 and my e-mail is uqtiyq00@aol.com. I hope I helped. Good luck!

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im 18 and my sister is 24. me and my sister dont get along much. once in awhile, were fine, but other than that, shes always screaming at me. a lot of my friends dont like her, nor does my guy. as the years gone by, ive learned to adapt to the way she treats me, but lately, it has gotten too out of hand and it makes me cry a lot. i told her plenty of times before that she hurts my feelings and shed apologize, but the next day, she still treats me like shit. i know that sisters are supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin, but its more like i have her back and she just brings me down, because basically, she does. she makes my parents go against me, which causes me more pain. what should i do? ive tried talking to her numerous times, but that doesnt ever seem to work? help.. because its literally killing me inside..

I know exactly what you mean. I have two older sisters, and sometimes I think that they just plain don't like me or want me around. But then there are little things they do that make me feel like, even if they don't show it, they love me.

You talk about how your sister treats you so horrible all the time. Aren't there SOME times that she has also done something nice for you? It may be hard to see at first, but try to think of just some little things that she has done. There are some. There are always some.

And I think I'd have to know what you mean by treating you like "shit." I think my older sisters do too, but my mom explained it as being a big sister thing. They want to boss me around because they feel they have to protect me. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense until after you've thought about it for a while.

You should just tell your sister that being around her makes you feel really sad and you are in pain from how she treats you. Tell her you love her so much, but you feel somtimes like maybe she doesn't love you back. Add how much you want to be friends with her, and that maybe you both should make a pact not to fight with each other. And if one of you starts to get snappy, the other one just leaves the room for a minute so you both can get yourselves under control.

Good luck!

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Me and my b/f have been going out now for 3 months. And i haven't kissed him yet..not even a peck. Is there something wrong with me? He has tried once to make a move but i backed off. Does anyone have any advice on how to do it or anything??!!!

First of all, no, there is NOTHING wrong with you. There are plenty of girls out there who are nervous about kissing and making moves with their boyfriend.

Before I say anything more, you should know that you don't HAVE to kiss your boyfriend. Don't feel obligated to do things with him. Make sure you love him. Kissing and making out is just a way of showing him you love him. And there are plenty of other ways to show him, if you're not comfortable with kissing him.

Now, it's hard, but you should just have an honest talk with him about what you guys are ready for at this point in your relationship. I always like to emphasize just talking it out, because it's the easiest way to find out what the hell is going on! But, if you don't think you can talk to him about this because it's sort of embarrassing to you, when you say goodbye after a date or hanging out, just give him a hug and a peck on the cheek. Maybe this will send the message that you are ready to be more intimate.

Good luck!

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My mom actually needs help with this one, but I'll explain.

Last night my neighbors who are around my age (I'm 14) came over. My mom rented 3 movies (even though we really couldn't afford it) but being the whiners they are, they didn't want to see any of them, so we let them bring their own movie over, for my and my 11-year old bro to watch with them. They chose Scary Movie and I have no idea why their mom let me! It was really inappropriate for my brother, who's going in to sixth grade. I mean, people were giving each other bjs and hjs, a girl got stuck to the ceiling by cum, etc. It was really digusting. The worst part is that they thought it was hilarious, Nick (older one, around my age) in particular kept going, "Noelle, come here" (my mom's name) at the grossest parts. Their mom is normally a pretty good mom but I just don't understand how on earth she could think it was appropriate for my brother. Obviously her boys were too immature for it too. My mom is going to call their Mom, Denise, whom we've been friends with for many years. Denise can get offended and mad very easily, so what should my mom say? And what should she say next time the boys want to bring over a movie?

Sorry about the long question. I rate!

Your mom should probably just say, "I think the movie the kids watched last time was a little inappropriate for my youngest son (I didn't catch your little brother's name). Did you know they brought Scary Movie over? It has a lot of sexual content," and see what Denise says. Maybe she didn't even know how gross it was. And if she did, and she gets offended, your mom should just tell her that she doesn't want her kids to be watching stuff like that at this young because it could be a little misleading about sex. Sex should be a beautiful, loving act, between two mature adults who love each other, not between teenagers for raunchy fun. Maybe then Denise will agree, if your mom presents her case politely and gently.

Good luck!

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hey i have school coming up on sep 8 ok so i was thinking of wearing a faded blue billabong shirt with some, um, tannish (im not sure what the color is but its tanish they might be called a khaki color but anywho)dickies shorts. also my shoes are some white vans. would that be pretty good for a first day wardrobe? or would black dickies be better? or would a green quicksilver shirt be better? any advice will be thanked. thanks a million a 1! btw im a 13/m.

I think it depends on your eye color. If your eyes are blue, go with the blue shirt. If your eyes are green or brown, where the green shirt. It will accentuate your eyes more. (Not that that usually matters to guys, but whatever, girls notice guys' eyes a lot. Or, at least I do.)

Stick with the khaki shorts and the white vans. The white will make your legs look tanner!

Good luck with school! :)

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Is it true that girls dont like gamers? By gamers i mean people who play video games as a hobby or a profession. Also is it true that they dont like computer techs? It seems like everywhere around where i live that girls find that to be a turn off. I live in Tennessee, if that helps. Just wondering.

This is a rather interesting question, I've never seen anyone ask this sort of thing before. But, there's a first time for everything!

I, being a girl and all, feel I can answer this by saying that I don't think girls really care if you're a computer nerd or a "gamer." Some girls actually are gamers. (I sort of am.) But if a girl doesn't like you just because you're a video game kind of person, it's probably because she's one of the more superficial chicks out there. I don't think it's a turn off, but not many girls are really interested in video games.

So, basically, I don't think that girls find it to be a turn off, even if some of them are not video game people. And if a girl doesn't like you JUST because you're a gamer, that's pretty stupid that they didn't get to know you better first and...well, their loss!

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I was obbsessed with this guy for like 6 months. I just got over liking him but my one of my best friends told me she went to a party and asked him to slow dance and they danced together 3 times. When she told me this i was speechless even though i stopped liking him. I am kinda mad that she danced with him-or i think i'm mad. I'm not sure whether or not i'm mad or just jealous...i still might have feelings for him. Do you think i'm mad at her or just jealous?

It's probably a little bit of both, actually. Mad AND jealous, I mean. I certainly would be a little upset if she knew that I liked him so much and had just barely gotten over him, and then she went out and danced with him. But I'd also be jealous, that she just went up and asked him and he said yes, three times, and I hadn't gotten ANYTHING like that from him.

Just explain to your friend that you're a little upset about it. She'll probably say, okay, I respect that, and step away from the guy. But if the boy asks her out, she has every right to say yes. If she likes him, and he likes her, you may just have to step aside and say, hey, I hope you guys are happy, you know?

Getting into a fight with a friend over a guy is one of the stupidest things you can do. Friends could be with you forever. But I really doubt that some guy that you dated in Jr. High/High School (whichever applies here) will be the one to stick around for so long that you MARRY him, or he is with you for the rest of your life. There are more fish in the sea, as everyone always says.

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16f

k i FINALLY met a guy, after like a year of being totally single...hes gorgeous, plays football, around my age, and seems like a pretty kool person.. well he started trying to talk to me like last week..but then i went to tahoe for a week and he kept in touch with me EVERYDAY..he called me alot n we talked alot..then i came back yesterday and he met up with me and we hung out for like 5 hours.. from this hang out, we found out that we are TOTALLLL opposites..he is tha biggest PARTY guy i know..he smokes n drinks alllll the time..n he KNOWs that i think its the biggest turn off, yet he talks about it n stuff. and right when i first saw him at the spot we were suppose to meet, he was sitting down, smoking a cigg, and was like "hey wassup..lemme juss finish this stoge." so i waited there for like 2 minutes, just standing there waiting for him to finish his stupid cigg...after that we walked around n talked...we got to know eachother really well...but we are, again, TOTALL opposites..he said that im different then any other girl hes ever met cause all of them drink and smoke and are like stupid..he said im the first girl that hes ever had a real good convo with..we are really attracted to eachother physically..and im really into him, like even tho we are opposites i really wanna still try and make this work..and we were talking about how different we were, then he was like..well u know whut they say, opposites attract...aCouple my friends were around and i introduced them to him..and i walked off cause my phone rang, and they told me that they asked him if he liked me and he kinda didnt answer it fully, but he basically said that im totally different and im cute, and smarter than any other girlz hes met, but im kinda uptight..he told them that we are both shy right now..he said that he doesnt think id be able to handle his friends becaues they are total partiers..then like when we were about to like go home for the night..his goodbye SUCKED. like his friend called at the same time we were both leaving, and he answered it, and then he turned to me and said something like who should call who? then i was like u can call me onli if u want to..then he was like okay ill call u after football practice..then that was like it...its weird cause hes totally opposite from me...but i wanna try it out..the thing is, im really scared that hes not gunna call me again cause hes not into the fact that we are so opposite...i dunno im kinda down..whut do u guyz think?? [so sorry its long]
thanks!!!!

Personally I think there is NOTHING wrong with the whole "total opposites" thing. I mean, I certainly would NOT want to hang out with someone exactly like me all day. That would be so boring! I want some variety, you know?

But about the cigarettes and drinking and partying...maybe, if you really like this guy and start going out with him, you can be a good example for him. I wouldn't preach about not smoking and drinking, that would just lead to fights. But maybe he will see how smart you are and how cool you are, and how you don't have to smoke and drink to be cool. I don't want to make you feel obligated to be this guy's mentor and good example, however. So don't feel obligated AT ALL.

Also, if you do start dating him, don't let yourself get drawn into his crowd and start smoking and drinking just because they do. Respect your mind and your body, and go by your own rules. You can be friends with his friends, but you don't have to be exactly LIKE his friends. And if he thinks you're being uptight...oh well. You're just being you, and that's all that you can do. Don't try to please him by smoking and drinking.

Oh, and one more thing: make sure you aren't going out with him JUST because he is attractive. Look for other things, like his compassion, politeness, his sense of humor or how he treats you.

Just do what's right by you. Everything will be okay if you do.

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During the summer I met one of my sister's boyfriend's friend.I met him once,I went to his house with them.His name is Stevan and he would IM me and we'd talk about different things just life in gernal{{sp??}}Yeah well one day he told me he was going to his dad's house and he doesn't get on much so I should call him.Well i didn't want to becuase I never talked to him on the phone so I thought it would be weird ya know?Well I did call.And I called everynight during the summer.We'd always flirt and stuff you know the normal.I started to like him and I told him.Then he told me he likes me.Well at the end of summer we kinda stopped talking but he's still the only guy I think about.Well I went to his house on Sat.He had his arm around me and stuff and was holding me tight.Well we kissed.And then it lead to making out.And when everyone was out of the room he kinda not fully but a lil on top of me and we made out.Well he hasn't asked me out. =-/ so what should I wait for him to ask me out{{which makes me crazy and I cry everyday....}}..Idk what to do....sorry it's long but it's my life.I'm 13 and female.

If I were you, I would just tell him that you really like him, and that you don't want to get hurt if it turns out he doesn't really like you. And if he says that he hasn't been lying, then maybe drop a hint that you want him to ask you out. ("Yeah, so there's that football game on Saturday...are you going?") Or maybe even just ask him out yourself. ("Well, do you want to go to the football game on Saturday with me?")

And for a first date I would recommend something very much LIKE a gootball game. Something in public, with a lot of people around, and the possibility of running into friends. Plus, the game is something to be talking about during the date. Or maybe, if you don't have problems talking with him, then take a stroll through the park, or something, or have a picnic.

But anyway, back to the first subject. I'm not sure if this was what you were trying to ask for, but if you're upset about him not asking you out, just ask him out. This is the twenty-first century!! Girls CAN make the first move!! Who knows? Maybe he's just shy to ask. Maybe he thinks the exact same as you do, that you might not really like him. Whatever you do, if you really like him this much, keep calling him and talking to him online. It's best to stay in touch, and if nothing else you can get a friendship out of it.

Like I always say, just do what is right by you and things will work out.

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I am 15 years old and have never had a boyfriend. Is that normal?

Too often do we compare ourselves to others to see if we are normal. If you haven't had a boyfriend yet, then it's normal for you. And it doesn't matter what other people think. Maybe you just haven't found that guy. And a lot of people date others for the wrong reasons.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about being normal, or worry about the status of having a boyfriend. A lot of people treat them as accessories, not as a person they love, or at least like a lot.

So, to answer your question...yes. It's normal. Because it's you we're talking about, not other people who have had a lot of boyfriends.

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Ok, over the past few weeks a lot has been going on. I'm fixing to make some big transactions and I'm going to have to leave a lot of my close friends behined to move to a different location. Something that's always been very hard for me, is dealing with CHANGE. I know it's like that for a lot of people, nobody really likes change yeah yeah. But I always get extremely depressed when I have to change things in big ways, especially if I love the way my life is going. I just feel like everything is going to fall apart. So, I guess what my question is, is has anyone ever had a hard time with change, and overcame it.. if yes, then how so.. I mean if there even is an awnser.
Thanks.

There have been PLENTY of changes in my life, and I just tried to embrace them. See them as an adventure.

I moved in the second grade, and even though that was a long time ago, I remember very clearly being so nervous about not making any friends because I'm really shy. But a girl named Sarah came right up to me and asked if I wanted to play with her and her friend. I have been best friends ever since with Sarah, almost 8 years, and we haven't even had any classes together since then. So in your move to a new school, you're just going to have to be yourself. I'm sure there will be plenty of people willing to hang out with "the new kid."

But back to change. Change can be really hard...and what I do nowadays if I'm feeling overwhelmed or scared or stressed, and like I don't think I can get through it alone, I ask God for help. I ask him to help me pull through this, because later in life you will be able to look back on this big change and say, yeah, I was really strong then.

So my advice is to just embrace the change. You can make even more friends, get a new room that you can redecorate (fun!). And don't forget you have family to lean on during this time, too. They're going to be affected by the change as well, so they will know exactly how you feel. You're never alone in situations like this. So just remember: change can be good. In fact, it can be great. I got a best friend out of it!

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I was wondering if any one knoew some good songs. It can be anything but no rap please! Thanx so much!!
Luvz,
*KrIsSy*

Well, I absolutely LOVE music, so I can help you out there!! Listed by artists...

Any songs by Maroon 5 (Sweetest Goodbye, Tangled, Through With You, etc.)

Yellowcard! (Empty Apartments, One Year Six Months, Only One, Miles Apart, etc.)

Mariah Carey - I was listening to all her old #1's today, so I've been singing her songs like all day! (Hero, Always Be My Baby, Honey)

Jet (Are You Gonna Be My Girl)

Athena Cage (All Or Nothing, from the Save the Last Dance soundtrack)

If you are Christian, Relient K is an awesome Christian punk rock band...! (Mood Rings, For the Moments I Feel Faint, etc.)

Those are just a few of my personal faves!!

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Hi! Well I'm new to my high school and there's this girl (Anna) and she was so sweet. She's been new before so she knows how it feels! But anyways, she came up and talked to me in 1st period and was like r u in journalism w/ me? and so she striked up a convo. Then the next day she asked me to go walk around w/ her before class so I wasn't in class all my myself. Then after that we started writting notes back and forth a lot! She even hooked me up w/ this guy I like a lot! I feel really close to her, we talk about stuff that normally I wouldn't feel comfy sharing and I think its the same w/ her! She has lots and lots of other friends but I'm not sure about 1 thing! I know she's my best friend but am I her's and how do I know if I am!?!?!

I guess there's only one way to know: ask her.

Although I'm pretty sure I already know that you are her best friend, because of how nice she is and how open you are with each other. Some people are just best friends like that, *snap*. Some people are just meant to be there for each other and share things that you have never shared with others before. Like soul mates, only soul friends.

It seems like this girl is very nice, and likes to do nice things for you (such as walk around with you before class so you weren't all alone or hook you up with some boy) and be open with you. These are all the signs of someone who has found a best friend.

But, to be sure, you should just ask. Tell her that you really like her a lot and that she is for sure your best friend, but you want to make sure that you are hers as well. It shouldn't be hard, considering how much you have shared with her that you didn't feel comfortable sharing before.

As always, do what is right by you, and your life can't help but turn out okay.

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A little less then two months ago I found out my cousin was raped and i've been having some trouble dealing with it.I'm really close to this cousin , she's liek my best friend.when i first found out i just started crying , i couldnt even look at anyone for a copuple days.That i had to cry myself to sleep.i used to live in a house with her in when i was younger,i lived on the bottom and she lived on the top.Whenever i think about her and her baby i cant help but cry and its so hard for me to look at her without crying.I cant help but think maybe if i hadnt moved away i would have been with her and i could have stopped the jerk who did this to her.I seem to be the only person in my family who thinks she can finish high school and still take care of her baby.i mean its her family thier supose to be supportive of her.She was raped when she was 14 and had her baby when she was 15.She was born about 3weeks ago.I still cant help but worry about her and feel like i could have done something and i should tell my parents to be more supportive of her and stop thinking so negative.I couldnt even talk to my best friend about this w/o feeling stupid so if anyone has any advice for me, please send it.

I can understand that you would have a hard time dealing with something this big. It is really huge when someone so close to you that you love so much is hurt so badly like this. I'm not going to lie about how it isn't so bad, because, to be blunt, yeah, it sucks. Big time.

But really, you have to ask yourself this: could you really have stopped the "jerk" who raped your cousin if you had still been living with her? To be honest...probably not. You might have been at a friend's house that night, out of town, etc, etc.

I don't always like to bring God into this, because a lot of people get offended when religion is mentioned. But I am going to offer my views from a religious point of view, to see if they help you at all.

I have always believe that everything is predestined, that God knows what is going to happen. And this does not affect free choice; God just already knows what decisions you will be making. I also have always believed that God favors each and every one of us by giving us each different gifts to further His kingdom.

I do not want to call your cousin's rape a gift. But maybe the baby is a gift. Maybe raising this child will change her life, for the better. Maybe it will open up things to her she has never known, like a love so big it cannot be broken. And she can use this knowledge to further God's kingdom.

Also, remember that you are not the only one who cares for her. I am sure that your parents love her very much, and that she is getting a lot of support right now. But maybe high school just really isn't a good idea, what with her new baby. Going to school, dealing with social problems, homework, pressure from teachers...add having a baby to the mix, and it is just way too much. You're right that she could probably finish out high school, but it might be too much stress on her. Taking time off might be a good thing.

As always, remember that everything will be okay, as long as you do what's right by you.

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OK so theres this new boy at school and like i talked to him before i talked to him at school online... and hes really nice n stuff and last nite we had our first football game! and then afterwards there was this party at my friends house so i invited him to come... he did and we had soo much fun, but i think he likes my friend Michelle, like followed her around n stuff... and like talked to her the most but hes just sooo great and perfect like he got up and danced in a cirle and he doesnt even like know ne one.. like hes the new kid! i love his confidence and how he acts and i dunnno but then my x boyfreind was there and he was like sorta mad at me for like being with the new kid... and my x is like my best friend... but he broke up with me! but i really really like the new kid a lot! so how do u think i should deal with this?

First I would say that you have to remember that you cannot please everybody.

Of course, you don't want to go and hurt your ex on purpose, but if you're truly friends with him and you are both over each other, there should be nothing holding you back from asking out this "new kid".

I am going to quote a very good friend of mine: "If you like someone you should just get it over with and ask them out. Then, if they say yes, great! But if they say no, it's okay, you know that they're not interested and you can just forget about it and move on."

Sometimes it isn't easy to move on just like that, it isn't always that simple. But you can see where you and this new boy stand. If he does say no, maybe you should really be yourself around him and open up. Maybe then he'll be attracted to you because he knows you better.

I also know it's not always easy to just ask someone out like that, because you're afraid of rejection. It's normal, everyone is. But I told my guy friend that I really liked him, you know, that way, and he didn't like me that way back. But we are still friends and talk all the time, and there isn't even that awkwardness that I thought there might be. Getting it over with is just the way to go.

So ask out this new boy, and don't worry about your ex. It'll be okay, as long as you do what's right by you.

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