I'm a very simple person i love to write poetry and stories i'm obsessed with anime, i'm very good with chilfren and love giving advice to others i hope one day to become a favorite author and use my books to help everyone with life.
E-mail: Kakashi_hero_narutofan@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Age: 18
MSN: Kingdom_heartsgirl13@yahoo.com
Member Since: July 22, 2006
Answers: 43
Last Update: October 1, 2006
Visitors: 4978
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Okay 25/F here with major realtionship issues. Recently me and my boyfriend of 7 years decided to have a separation, well more like I decided. So he moved out (we own a house together) and I have now been living alone for 3 weeks. The plan was for him to go get help and for me to sort out my feelings and then he would move back in after a month and then we could see how things went from there. So why did we separate? He is very controlling and jealous, he was constantly calling me names and accusing me of cheating, so basically calling me a whore. He say's he doesn't really think I cheat but he just gets mad and that he's jealous of my job, because they get more attention then I do. I am never allowed to go anywhere and have alienated every friend beacuse he thinks that you should not go out unless your significant other is with you. So there's no "girls night" for me. If I even go to the store he clocks me and gets pissed about how long I take. The longer we're together the less I cuddle, kiss or do anything with him at all. The only time I am intimate with him, I am being forced by him complaining and some sense of duty for the relationship. Basically it's aweful and his touch disgusts me now. Despite all his faults he loves me very much perhaps too much and he has always been there for me when I had tough things to deal with. He wants to marry me and have kids but I am not ready for that, I care about him but for some reason I can't seem to marry him. On top of it all I have formed this infatuation for a co-worker and my BF senses their is something between me and this other guy, if he even new about flirting then he would seriously go down there and beat him to a pulp. So our month break thing is almost up, and I still don't know what I want, he has been going to a Psychologist and he recognizes his problems and I appreciate his effort but I can't seem to make myself "feel" and he says that I just don't care, but I do I just can't explain what it is I feel. If I leave him he will serisouly snap, he already threatened to kill himself when I asked for the separation. I don't know what to do, if he really did change will my feelings all come back or did I fall out of love with him and is it too late? Or am I so focused on this other guy that I am not appreciating what I already have. I feel so lost right now. :( (link)
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Dear,torn apart I gotta say you sound like your really looking for full heart help and i will try my best.If you truly love this guy and he loves you,he should understand about you wanting to take it slow..have you tried praising him about trying to get help? if not try it the more you both convide in eachother the better things will be...as for you Boy friend he sounds way too obsessive explain to him you need some time alone and as far as your job goes explain to him in a nice mannor that he needs to trust you ..remember without no trust there can be no relationship..try and hang in there i'm praying for you. Your friend Violet
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the other week my boyfriend went all quiet for the day. i didnt think anything of it. then a couple of days later he told me that he was quiet because he was wondering if i was the right one for him. but then he said that he knows now that i am.
but today he went quiet again. i asked him what was up and he said 'nothing im just thinking.'
and so i said 'im scared now'... and he goes 'so am i'...
so obviously its scared the living day lights out of me. i love him 2 pieces and dont want to loose him.
i said to him ' i love you' and he usually says back. ' i love you too' but this time he said. ' i know you do'.....
just before he left he said 'dont worry.' cus he cud tell i wasnt right. and i said 'really' and he said yes. a few minuites later i told him that i was still well paranoid. and he said you should be.... but in a niceish way not as if he was trying 2 frighten me...
he still kept kissing me and hugging me and still said that he is coming over tomorrow. but i still feel really paranoid.
please say that is all it is i really dont want to loose him. he is the first person i have ever loved and i cant loose him. it would kill me.
please any help would be brilliant.
thank you. (link)
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Dear,paranoid Acually that might be the problem...if you've been obsessing over a relationship it can lead to worry and that's very understandable however the boy may be expirancing confusion and as i hate to say it may be comparing you to another girl..i wanna wish you the best of luck and i hope things work out for you. Your friend Violet
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hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my mom says that I can't go to a boys house or have a boy over my house even when she's home she says iam way to young for that,but she let my sisters have boyfriends over and have them over when they were only 15.I think the reason could be becouse I have attention deffesince disorder(add).do you think that could be the reason and how do I convince her that iam responsible enough to go to boys houses and have them over mine.Iam in special ed to could that be another reason? (link)
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Dear,Rachel Your mom may be concerned about you remember your mom was a teen too once and she probably had some bad experiances...i don't think that there would be a problem if he came over to your house but that's just me..the best advice would be is you can't always convince parents to give in to what you want..try to have a heart to heart conversation with her and also with your boyfriend or the guy you like...once you step into a guys house your steping into thier territory..it can be scary for your mom since your 17 remember boys can't be trusted they are out for only one thing too...i don't belive being in speacial ed is why your mom's concerned...as i said talk to to her and see what happens, good luck to ya. Your friend Violet
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Hi! i am from India. my baby is 2 yrs old and since me and my husband are both working i have arranged for a babysitter for her for 8-9 hours. my question is : how does baby sitting help her and how does it harm her? i am very confused and require advice on babysitting and what should i look in a good babysitter? (link)
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Dear,Worried You should look for a babysitter that is kind,nurturing,caring and is willing to take responsibility..a good sitter should have children of his or her own or at least watch other children,children at this age need to interact with eachother..for example a bad sitter would just sit them down letting them watch tv all day a good sitter would play with them and interact with them making sure they learn they're abc's and colors...children at this age are like sponges they soak up everything around them.The baby sitter will determine weaither it harms or helps your child..as a parent you have to be careful on who you trust with your child..remember your child's development lies within your judgement..I would highly advice you get some feed back on the sitter so you can make the right choice.Wish you luck. Your friend Violet
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I never feel like going to school. What can i do in the morning to make me go to school??? (link)
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Dear,Absent Wouldn't we all like to stay in bed instead of going to school..i can't exactly give you much motivation cuz i normally don't have much motivation myself lol what i can tell you though is you should think of some activity you look foward to or a friend you'd like to meet..plan out something like imagen your school as a new place you've never been to before and add imagenation to it so it'll be an adventure, hope that helps. Your friend Violet
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i have this friend and one day ill be hanging out with her and were laughing and talking a lot and having a great time, but then the next day comes and shes all mad at me for no reason. i mean, its not like i even say anything mean to her. is it something she doesnt like about me? or is it just her personality? (link)
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Dear,friend trouble I acually had this happen to me awhile back...there could be alot of things going on..it may not be you it could be something at home that's bothering her about or it could also be her personality ALOT of people are flipsidded when it comes to friendships...if she's a good friend you should speak up about it. Your friend Violet
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How do you know when you should go out with someone? (link)
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Dear,Ready to fly It's hard to say really it all depends on where your heart lies with a certain person ..trust is a big issue to if you go out with someone make sure you know where the boundary line lies...to be honest with you...your the only one who can decide that by following how much you trust and care for the person asking you or you asking them. Your friend Violet
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my boyfriend wants to fight with a relative of mine who has a crush on me....REAL CRUSH ON ME..they said that they will have a "till death" fight and i dont know how to stop them...my boyfriend and that guy are really stubbonrn...they may REALLY get one another KILLED...i just need a way to stop them...i am almost 15 and my realtive is 15 and half and my boyfriend is turning 17,thank you (link)
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Dear,Tug of war ...My your in a sticky siduation so i'll see if i can help..first of you can't just hope the fighting will stop unfortunatly, I would talk to your relitive about this whole and explain how you don't want anyone to get hurt and do the same with your boyfriend..if it comes to it you may have to get an adult or adults involved i'm sorry to say but if it prevents death than that's worth it right?..if you'd like to disscuss this in detail with me please contact me at Kakashi_hero_narutofan13@hotmail.com i wish you the best, hang in there. Your friend Violet
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I am a guy, 32 years, even though people say I look and act 25. On May 9 2006, I met this 21 year old girl when she came for a 10-day workshop in my film school from another university some 3 hours drive from my film school. She is in her 3rd year. She gave me the impression that she liked me, always hanging around me, and I started to give her my time. I really got to like her afterwards. She told me she had no boyfriend, as her previous boyfriend, who was a student in her school had graduated and left the town and wasn’t calling her frequently enough the way she wanted and they tended to drift apart. Time could not permit us to start sleeping together before she returned to her school. She told me she was not good with long distance relationship but we agreed to give it a try. We exchanged phone calls everyday, with me doing most of the calling, but then she beeped (flashed) me very often whenever she wanted me to call. About first week of June she stopped beeping (flashing) me like she used to, even though I continue to call her regularly. I wondered if she wasn’t as enthusiastic about our relationship like before. I’ve visited her once and she promised to visit me in my school but she doesn’t until I graduated from my film school last month and left the town. I once told her that it seems we are not as imitate as before and she says it is because she has doubts that I can handle a long distance relationship. When I promised to play my part right, she promised to play hers too. In the last 9 days, I have been putting up in a town some 45 minutes drive from her school doing some screenwriting and I visited her once. She keeps saying she would come visit me in return but keeps saying she is not sure when, until she told me today that she will not come for reasons best known to her. I still do all the calling, she still doesn’t beep (flash) me always claiming she is broke, even when she is from a rich family. However, whenever we chat she sounds as friendly as ever. I have not slept with her or even kiss her, although I am not eager to, because I truly love her. I wonder if all is well, or if I am wasting me time on her. (link)
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Dear,Wasted It may just be that she feels the relationship is dry or more so that she is scared that you won't take the relationship seriously..i belive you should talk to her about this slowly..if you havn't asked her friends do so it's much better when you find out the truth before jumping to conclusions..she also may be very busy and have other things on her mind it's not like she'll wait by the phone every time you call ...well good luck to you. Your friend Violet
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pI babysit a 10 month old and a 3 year old. The mom is going to be away and the dad has to cook at this 4th of July party they are having. They want me to babysit for them at the party. I dont know if I should let the family play with the kids or go off by myself because im afraid if I let a family member hold the baby they will keep passing him off and i will loose track of him. wut should i do? (link)
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Dear,Party trouble Babysitting can be a tough job expecially at parties my advice is to stay with the kids and the baby making sure you don't lose tract of them and if you'd like to enjoy yourself a bit,take a brake find someone you trust or more importantly who the father trusts and let them take over for awhile. Your friend Violet
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My friend Jessica is dating this guy Chris. They have been on-and-off for about a year now & they are currently in a stable relationship .. or so I thought. Jessica won't hookup with him & Chris says it doesn't bother him and that he'll wait till shes ready but it's getting to him. Jessica is scared because shes never madeout with a guy before and she has problems with being intimate. Thing is, they've been dating for four monthes now and hes really starting to wonder if they're ever going to. Jessica does weird things like not calling him & hanging out with other guys/flirting with them because she can't be tied down to one person (I've known that) She won't breakup with him because she says he's sweet, but every other day she has a problem with him. Hes shows affection in the simpliest ways (like writting her cute notes & daily phone calls) and it seems to scare her. Its like, she won't go farther than just a peck on the lips .. but she wants to stick with him .. but she wants to be free to flirt with other guys? I'm always caught up between their problems & trying to give advice to each one but I just have no idea what to do anymore. I need to know what to say to each of them & hopefully they'll finally settle their problems. We're all 14 btw. Sorry this is long & thanks. (link)
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Dear,Caught ..Relationships are always bumpy ..in your siduation it seems that jessica may not be ready for a relationship..if she still wants to date the guy fine, but she should tell him to slow down and that she's not ready to go far..i mean if your 14 you should take it slow anyway...your only kids you got your whole life ahead of you just have fun and enjoy eachothers company. Your friend Violet
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Last year I took Algebra 1, and I sucked at it, but it wasn't me, it was the teacher. At the end of the year she ended up passing everyone in my class by one or two points, probably to make herself look good, because we were all failing miserable. Point is, I'm still moving onto Geometry next year..but I know absolutely nothing about Algebra 1, I didn't get anything out of that class. My mom will be getting me a tutor outside of school & I have notes on Algebra 1 now. But my question is, is Geometry harder than Algebra 1? Or is it similar? Does it deal with Algebra 1 alot/at all? Thank you. (link)
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Dear,math headache I suck at math too always been the lowest..as far as Geometry goes it's acually alot eaiser plus you may have had the wrong teacher back then..if you get a good teacher that will be willing to help you there should be no problem.Geometry more revolves around fractions anyway ^^ Your friend, Violet
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yeah, this might be long, and from my viewpoint its pretty confusing so leave now if you want...
okay, im a sixteen year old male to begin with, and ever since i can remember, ive had five best friends (and i mean BEST, these five people mean more to me than anything else in this world). these five friends consist of four girls and one guy (the guy has nothing to do with this so you can forget him). Well, the problem is that near the end of last year, the girls all started fighting with eachother, even though theyd all been the best of friends since forever. the group ended up split apart, with two girls on one side, two girls on the other, and me and my guy friend stuck in the middle while still being best friends with both sides....so here comes the complicating part...for the whole time i can remember, ive really liked one of my friends (lets call her girl 1). well, girl 1 has always acted like she doesnt want to be more then friends with me. so now one the girls from the other group (girl 2), has told me that she likes me...so i asked her out and weve been going out for a month now. well, ever since i asked out girl 2, girl 1 hasnt spoken to me at all (by the way, the two groups of girls hate eachother a LOT)...so ive been trying to find out why girl 1 hasnt been talking to me...and it turns out that girl 1 really likes me....which sucks because im already going out with girl 2....i want to talk to girl 1 again because i love her to death, but i dont know how to do that...she wont answer her phone when i call, ive sent her emails, text messages, and even stuff through myspace...im about to just go to her house and show up with some flowers or something to show her that i still love her to death, and that the only reason that i didnt choose her is because she acted like she didnt like me....but im afraid that my girlfriend (girl 2) will find out and be mad at me for somewhat obsessing over getting my friend back....what should i do? any help is appreciated... (link)
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Dear,stuck You have a very complicated problem and i'll try to give to a whirl. Ok so you mentioned you pretty much only asked girl 2 out because she liked you..it sounds like girl 1 was really jelous of girl 2..i think that it was a good idea to try and go make mends with girl 1..but if you truly want to try to get together with girl 1 i would talk to girl 2 about that first. Your friendship seems like it was really good at first..but somethings change and you have to accept it..maybe they have indivual problems too girls are weired like that. Your friend, Violet
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Ok so I've liked this guy for the past four years (he used to like me in middle school but I hated him back then because he bullied me). I spent all of high school staring at him and he's stare at me and I'd wonder if there was anything to it but he was Mr Popular and I was a geek (but becoming "cooler" over the years) so something like that wouldn't have worked out in the ninth grade.
This all changed when we graduated and I started going to parties. I showed up to a party where he was there. We were all really drunk and he talked to me and my friend for about half an hour after while waiting for a ride and offered to give us a ride but we declined because his friends were drunk.
The next day week our commencement and when I walked in, he looked at me and started walking towards me but I kind of freaked out and ran away.
Last month I went to another party and he was there too. I basically ignored him through the whole party because my friend who was moving away was there but he was still lingering around sometimes and just when we were leaving, he was going inside and he said hi to me and my friend.
So my question is, I've spent about five years hung up on this guy and I'm sick of it. Does it seem like he's interested at all or should I force myself to move on? It's just that everytime I get a chance with him, I panic and I like him -a lot- and I want some kind of closure to high school. I just don't want to still keep chasing him if he doesn't care. (link)
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Dear,hanging in there I've had a simular siduation with a guy before so i do know what your talking about. People Change over the years but it seems that he's trying to get your attention,next time you have the time to meet him or talk to him stand your ground and ask him why after all these years he's been eying you and who knows you may find something great it all starts with a small step. Your friend, Violet
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Okay, this may not seem like a problem, but I started babysitting for this one family this summer. They have a pretty big house and good jobs, so it's not like they are poor. I think they overpay me though. I know I shouldn't complain, but they paid me $40 for watching a 4-year-old and a nine-year-old from 6-11pm....and they pay me $100 a week to watch the 9-year-old while they are at work during the summer....watching the nine-year-old basically consists of watching tv or watching him play nintendo or watching him fish. it's not a hard job, and I enjoy it...should I say something about the high pay, or just take it as them appreciating me and being nice? I don't want to get more than I deserve.... (link)
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Dear, money trouble As long as you are doing your job and earning money then there should be no problem if the Parents want to pay you more than you belive you deserve and you feel uncomfortable confront them about it they may just be giving you it because they feel you deserve it. Your friend Violet
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I'm babysitting this demand child. How can i get her to shut up?! Omg. shes so annoying. please help
♥ (link)
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Dear,baby sitter Children can be demanding sometimes and it doesn't help if the Child is screaming bloody murder..remember the child itself isn't evil just the behavoir..try playing a simple game with her or plug in a video for her to watch ...depending on how the child is being raised they may just want attention weaither negitive or positive. your friend violet
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so apparently i have a major peoblem opening up to people... and i admit it that i do... i really want to break this because i had A LOT of problems with people last year and stuff... and if that happens again because people cant get over things... i really want to know what the hell to do =] so ... how do i open up to people and ask advice...in person... i dont know whats wrong with me but... im going out to lunch with my aunt soon and i want to talk tot her so someone please help! (link)
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Dear,open up Opening up is really hard for some people your not the only one the best thing i can tell you is it takes time and trust..you may want to start talking to yourself infront of the mirrior so you'll be more comfortable talking to other then slowly try and be more open don't think something's wrong with you it's natural.
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Okay I will try and keep this as short as I can, but there's a lot to tell. First of I am a 25/F and I have this ongoing issue with a guy at work. I am older than him and a bit higher than him on the heirarchy of positions but not technically his boss. Anyhow there has been some flirting back and forth, so I think anyway, we are both very discreet so it's really hard to figure out what the true intentions are. He is so confusing, I have never had this problem figuring out a guy's motives. Maybe I should just list of the things he has done and said I think that would be easier. Besides finding him staring at me and the long gazes between us, he has found ways of touching me, from the shoulder, forearm to the small of my back. He has ran his hand through my hair more than once and his sideways hugs have turned into full frontals and really tight bear hugs. If I have a new bracelet on he holds my hand with both of his and inspects it for what seems like forever. He has held my hand randomly at numerous times. He will walk by and say my name and then some comment about how I am his favorite or his best friend there or more recently that I was sexy. He also every once and awhile makes sexual jokes that come off as invitations, and my replies have started to be something like don't tempt me. However for all these signals he is sending he can act very aloof and somewhat ignore me. He drives me crazy but we are friends and I don't want to screw anything up or lose us our jobs. I also found out that he's seeing this girl that he's apparently all about but he keeps it very secret and when people say anything about him having a girlfriend he replies that he doesn't have one and that he's a pimp. So that makes me think he is a player and I shouldn't waste my time. But when he's not in front of other people and just with me he relaxes and seems totally different. Also if he's all about this girl then why does he mess with me? Does he really like me or am I just something to play with while he is at work? I don't see him act like he does with me with anyone else so I just don't know what to think. I really like him but I feel like maybe I shouldn't and I am just setting myself up to be hurt. I hope I made some sense here and any help would be appreciated. (link)
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Dear,Confused It sounds like your guy is Obsessed as far as what you've told me it seems as if he's using to play around with..i think if he's going out with a girl or even talks about her that you should stop the flirting..even if it costs you your friendship you need to let it go if it's bothering you as for your job you should get fellow employes to keep in eye on him too. Your friend Violet
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ive been dating this amazing guy for about a month now and we met online. i know him through a friend but we met online. the only thing that sucks it that he lives 40 mins away so i wont get to see him much. hes an amazing guy and i never want to lose him. should i keep working at it? (link)
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Dear,love struck i too have dated a guy online and yeah it does suck when they live 40 mins away..he's some advice for ya! DON"T GIVE UP!" if you truly love someone it will work..love like yours doesn't come around every day just remember that so don't give up i'm rootting for ya! Your friend, Violet
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my mom reads all my stuff. including instant messages. and like, i can't make her go so i can talk privatley. but, today i come home from a trip and she's going to make me talk to these people online and
#1: i don't want to tell them what she wants me to tell them
#2: i don't want her to see the convo because i'm afraid the other person is going to talk about stuff
please help me fast! i can't just tell her *stay out* because that won't work! i've tried that already but she won't stop. help me please!
thank you! (link)
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Dear,Urgent I can't begin to tell you how much i've had to deal with my dad on this whole thing so i'm gonna give you the best advice i can. Privacy from you parents is pretty much obsolette,your mom may be concerned if your talking with people you don't know in real i have the same problem with my dad. If you havn't already explain to your mom that you can be trusted and that she should not mind her own buisness but assure her you can handle yourself if something happens.If your mom is concerned about sex issues then i can understand for you safty wise but other wise you should let your mom talk to that person and you supervise it. Your,friend violet.
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