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please say im being paranoid
the other week my boyfriend went all quiet for the day. i didnt think anything of it. then a couple of days later he told me that he was quiet because he was wondering if i was the right one for him. but then he said that he knows now that i am.
but today he went quiet again. i asked him what was up and he said 'nothing im just thinking.'
and so i said 'im scared now'... and he goes 'so am i'...
so obviously its scared the living day lights out of me. i love him 2 pieces and dont want to loose him.
i said to him ' i love you' and he usually says back. ' i love you too' but this time he said. ' i know you do'.....
just before he left he said 'dont worry.' cus he cud tell i wasnt right. and i said 'really' and he said yes. a few minuites later i told him that i was still well paranoid. and he said you should be.... but in a niceish way not as if he was trying 2 frighten me...
he still kept kissing me and hugging me and still said that he is coming over tomorrow. but i still feel really paranoid.
please say that is all it is i really dont want to loose him. he is the first person i have ever loved and i cant loose him. it would kill me.
please any help would be brilliant.
thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Tread carefully here.
Your fear of losing him may make you try to *make* him love you. That won't work and may actually drive him away.
You can't make someone love you, it has to come from within themselves in response to the real you.
There's a saying that goes, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
The proper course should be to tell him that you love him and that you hope he loves you too, but that you'll respect whatever decision he might make and you'll always remain his friend even if his love for you should fade.
If you're strong like that, it may very well re-affirm his love for you.
But if it doesn't, don't try to make him stay by threats of your misery or otherwise. You want him to stay out of love, not out of guilt.
You have my best wishes, because there are no easy answers for this kind of thing.
Hopefully its simply a case of moodiness that all us males experience at times. If you give him his space, it should all work out.
Be strong.
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Dear,paranoid Acually that might be the problem...if you've been obsessing over a relationship it can lead to worry and that's very understandable however the boy may be expirancing confusion and as i hate to say it may be comparing you to another girl..i wanna wish you the best of luck and i hope things work out for you. Your friend Violet
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depending on how long you've been going out, it might just be him going through a phase. guys ussually get restless after they've been in a relationship and start wondering if what there doing is right. the way he acts should tell you if its just a phase that will pass or something is seriously wrong.
if he brings up another girl a lot, then u shud definetly be worried and ask questions until you figure what his relationship with her is. he could be doing that because he's torn between two girls and in that case you need to take a break from each other.
he could just be recapping your relationship in his mind. if hes like half smiling while he thinks then maybe hes just thinking about your relationship in general and where its going. this is not a bad thing.
he could just be going through a phase because maybe hes never loved someone as much as you and it scares him. in that case, just give him time to adjust.
if he continues acting this way and doenst directly tell you whats bugging him then maybe bring up a couple of these kind of scenerios and see how he reacts to each one.
hope i helped and good luck
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