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Q: I am 13 and I have a almost 3 year old half sister I have been babysitting her afterschool and through the summer since I was 11 and I need advice on asking my mom for a payment for babysitting my sister please keep in mind that my parents are people that think kids are sort of you little worker and that children owe parents unlimited work
First and foremost, congratulations on being so responsible! I only hope that I can trust my children with the amount of responsibility that you've been trusted with. I can understand where you are coming from. A lot of people take child care for granted. I'm a teacher, so I understand where you are comin from! Ironically, I'm 25 years old, and I have a 2 year old nephew and 4 year old niece. My family treats me like I'm 5 years old and has never asked me to watch them. Mind you... I'm a teacher! This is what I do for a living!! So, the fact that you've been bestowed with this responsibility already shows that your parents don't see you as a baby, which will make this conversation go by more smoothly. Managing money is a life skill. Learn it now and when you're just a little bit older (not even that much), you'll be very grateful! A lot of people my age throw away money. Even though their making a lot more money than me, their always broke. But, my grandmother taught me how to manage my money and even on a teacher's salary, I still have more than them. So, this is the way you need to spin this when you talk to your parents. Let them know that you want to learn how to manage money. Don't tell them that you want to get paid because you want to run to the mall and buy a new pair of jeans. Tell them that you've been thinking about college, for instance, and you want to start saving. Tell them that you want to start a fund for a long-term goal of your choice (you don't have to use the college example if it's too unrealistic right now). But, the point is... A long term goal... Something responsible! And if they say, don't worry, we'll just pay for it, instead of giving you the money... Explain to them that managing money is a life skill and you would really like to learn how to manage it properly. I hope this helps!! Please do keep in touch and let me know how it goes ❤️

Q: My life kind of started to end on July 15 2014. My wife of 52 years and I were sitting on our deck when we looked at each other and said, You know something we got it made. That was because I had finally retired and we had moved into our new house in the mountains. That was around one pm when we spoke those words.
That night around seven we got a call from one of our daughters (Barb). She told us that she had just left the doctors and they had told her she had stage four ovarian cancer, and that she had 1 to 5 years to live.
This as you can imagine floored us. The next morning my wife (Elaine) and I packed her suitcase. We decided that my wife would move in with Barb to help her as much as possible. Barb lives three hours away, so we thought I would drive down on weekends and bring our dog with me.
After three months of Elaine staying there and me coming down on weekends, the stress got so bad between my wife and I. You see, Elaine is 71 years old and she was taking care of Barbs whole house. There are four in the family, Barb, her husband (Jeff) daughter (Kristin age 21) and son (Jeffery age 17). She looked like she was 90 years old. This was killing my wife. Well after three months had gone by, Barb went back to work, so Elaine decided to come home and we would go down on weekends. This lasted till 1/10/16 when Barb passed away.
When my wife came home, I was relieved that she could rest and try to get back to somewhat of a normal life. Well that did not happen. From the minute and I mean minute Elaine walked in the door I was accused of having an affair. I could not believe my ears. Her reasoning was she found Cialis in my bureau drawer. After her throwing this at me I showed her that it was a sample with my name written on it. The funny part of it was, Elaine was the one that picked it up at the doctors office. By the way our doctor not only wrote my name on the box but the date 1/16/2012. Four years before we moved to the mountains.
That was the end of that session. But two weeks later she told me my girlfriend stole five pair of her jeans from the closet. I could go on an on about the accusations but to name just a few. Cigarette butts found in the street meant my girlfriend was standing there watching the house. I was told while we where both out shopping together that there was blood on our mattress pad. When we got home the blood had disappeared. Now remember we never left each others side.
I won’t bore you with more details because there is over 50 accusations made. None of which were true.
Anyway last week a new neighbor moved in and you guessed it I was having an affair with her.
Well two days ago she left me, drained our bank accounts of over $125,000. Leaving me not only with my wife of 52 years but without a penny.
I can’t do this anymore. As much as I love her I want it all to end. I can’t stand the pain. I sit here and look at a bottle of pills the doctor gave us for depression and can’t stop thinking this would end my pain. I was a strong willed man all my life, a rough and tumble construction worker. Well I am a broken man now. She broke me and took my will to live.






First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I am sorry about what is happening to you. I beseech you not to do anything stupid! Please put those pills away! Your wife is likely suffering from PTSD. She is likely having an emotional breakdown after everything that she went through. I would reach out to your son in law and grandchildren and ask for their help with this. Don't forget about them. Given the circumstances, I think that your wife just blew a fuse. I mean, who wouldn't?! I lost someone in my family to cancer as well. But, my inability to grieve at the appropriate times caused me severe panic attacks and I had to get on medication for some time because I felt incapacitated by the rush of constant adrenaline. Had these circumstances not occurred, I think my perception would be different. I know that you are hurting, but everyone here needs you! I will keep you and your family in my prayers

Q: I am a girl, currently in Grade 12, and I have had a crush on this one guy in my grade since halfway through first semester grade 9.

He is really cute, and he loves singing and history. He is really funny, but can also be quite serious. He tends to be quite loud in class(he is in no way shy), but he is so sweet and kind and honest that the teachers rarely get mad at him.

I am quite(extremely...) shy when in a group setting, but one on one I tend to open up a bit. However, I only ever see this guy in class, in choir, and when our two friend groups (occasionally) hang out together.

He is always hanging around with this one group of girls, but he would never date any of them, so I know that's not an issue. The problem is that he's always with them. I get along well with all of them, a couple are even sort of my friends, but it would be awkward for me to just join their group when they are talking or whatever. I have in the past, like if they are in my class and my regular friends aren't but its just a little awkward...anyways yeah I feel too awkward to get closer to him that way.

He jokes around a lot, and when we are in a small group of people together, he sometimes/often teases me more than the other people in the group. In class the other day, he came over to talk to me, and he asked me about why I had been late for class that morning. He has done similar things a number of times in the past.

Also, just to point out, he is straight. I know this for sure. The girls he hangs out with have been his friends for years, they are like sisters to him...

Another problem- I am scared to tell my friends I like him. I told them a couple years ago, but they laughed and told me we would make a really awkward couple (probably because I'm 5'9", and at the time he was super skinny and like 5'3", but he's grown since then). I would love to have their support, but we don't really talk about guys much, and I feel like I've been lying to them for years about this guy..not that I ever lied...I just didn't speak up...

Also, casual out-of-school meetings are difficult because he lives in a different city than I do, although we go to the same school (it's a private school). I can't just casually invite him to do something with me like randomly on a Saturday because he lives like a 45 minute drive away..

I guess what I want to know is: do I have any chance with him? and how do I got about getting that chance?
Hi! Well, perhaps you can find him via social media or something that is a little bit less intimidating. I wouldn't worry too much about your friends. You say that you are in grade 12, which means that you are about to graduate soon. Maybe your friends felt that way then, but they changed their minds. Regardless, it doesn't really matter. Once your setting changes and you aren't in high school anymore, what people around you think will become less and less important. I would say try via the avenue of social media, maybe like some pictures. That way it won't seem so random because you've grown somewhat closer through social media. Maybe you can have a get together and invite some people over, including him.

I hope this helps!! :)

Q: My Dr just started me on Celexa it's about a week I'm exhausted and feel like cry sometimes how long does it take to adjust and is there any success stories out there because all I read is bad things....
Hi there! Since these pills contain hormones, they do take some time to make one feel better and feel normal. But, every body is different. If Celexa doesn't make you feel better within about 3 weeks, I would suggest talking to your doctor and seeing if there is another pill that may work better for you. Since everyone is different, some people will tell you that they've had wonderful experiences with Celexa and some will tell you it's been horrible. It's very similar with birth control pills because they contain hormones as well and depending on your body, people will react differently. I hope this helps xoxo

Q: My friends did the challenge but we didn't know we had to say charlie charlie can we stop? before we could stop playing! Are we all going to be haunted until we die or just the person who first asked to summon the demon?

SCARED PLEASE HELP!
Thanks for the question! :) I try to stay away from things like that because I am Christian. I actually wasn't sure what it was and I looked it up. I think you will be okay. The less attention you give those things, the better! :)

Q: hi hope you can help me i'm a 15 year old male i'm a devout christian i love god with all my heart and i wanna be a better christian and devote my life to god i want to help people to get closer to god i wantto start to spread god's word i'm a bit nervous not sure where to start but i want to start talkinhg to people about god maybe start with people that i know not sure how do i go about it?
Thank you for entrusting me with your question :). I became a Christian about 2 and half years ago. The best thing you could do is pray and read the Bible to get to know God better. Find a good church in your area. Join a youth group so that you can meet other people your age that share your faith. This website is fairly helpful in answering bible questions: got questions.org/

God bless :)
Cristy

Q: Personally, I have been very miserable all of my life. I have suffered from OCD as long as I can remember. I moved from New York to Florida when I was five years old. It was very traumatic for me. I have tried to commit suicide, but I just ended up in a mental institution. I do see a psychiatrist, but she does not help me. In fact, I only see her for the medication. I am absolutely miserable right now, especially with my job. I decided that I will no longer give any types of hints about suicide because I don't want to end up in a mental institution again. That did nothing to help me. I am going through preparations (getting my house ready, cleaning, trying to pay off bills).
ok, you need to stop thinking this way immediately. i have been there before. although, i haven't thought it out completely. i have just thought that I would be better off dead because i was so miserable. someone who saw that i was down called the police and it made me feel like criminal. no one was empathetic or sympathetic. no one thought that maybe with just some help or making me feel like i mattered, that i would get better. they just made me feel like i was a crazy criminal. people are not always good. so, don't take it personally. have you told the psychiatrist that the medication is not making you feel better? maybe they are not the right ones. not every pill is the same and not everyone responds the same way to different medications. please don't do anything. i am sure that you are a great and wonderful person and you sound like someone that I would really like to have as a friend. you seem so absolutely sweet. please feel free to e-mail me if you feel that you just need someone to talk to. cfern064@fiu.edu

Q: I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do
sometimes parents can be overprotective because they want the beset for us. But, they are your parents and you should not be afraid. my mom was very overprotective of me when i was younger and i never understood why. now, that i am older, i understand a little bit more. i'm not saying that it justifies all her actions... i just understand a little better. Now... if you are afraid to talk to them because you are afraid of their reaction... you can start off by telling them that. tell them that you are HESITANT (don't use the word afraid because it was generate a defensive response)... but that you are hesitant to talk to them because you don't know what their reaction will be. but, that you intend to be responsible. it is just a means for you to socialize. you could also write them a letter. i think that might help because you can sort out all your feelings and write them down without any interruption or forgetting something. I hope this helped and many blessings to you.
xoxo

Q: Hi solidadvice4teens, I am not looking to start a fight. I am not a person who likes arguing. However, after reading your reply to my post I will not keep my thoughts about it to myself. Again, I am not replying to insult you in any way. With that in mind, first of all, let me tell you that in the past I have suggested to my current psychiatrist that she wean me off meds. She said exactly what you said. Was she right? Yes, for the most part yes. Adding onto that, at the beginning of your response you stated that you agreed with adviceman49. Saying that you are both right whether I like it or not. You both are PARTIALLY correct I say partially because you both assumed I was feeling mentally stable while on meds. There is a reason why I suggested to my psychiatrist that she wean me off meds. All those years I had been on them I never felt they truly helped me as much as they sedated me and I have been on loads of different cocktails of drugs. They have all been the same. They all dumb me down tremendously. Psychiatrists have tried prescribing me a smaller dose, changing the medicine altogether to a more "effective/modern" drug but the fact that I was drugged out, to the point of not knowing what I was really doing, on antipsychotics has never changed. Abilify was the last drug I was on and I do admit it was the most helpful one. Not 100% or even 80% either.(As my psychiatrist says the pill is the miracle worker, it does 80% of the work and you only have to do 20% of it). I was on it for four years and it was never the miracle worker my psychiatrist said it would be. Now, you also suggested I visit an emergency room. Why would I go to such an extreme? Doing that would surely result in me getting a 51/50. I have a tight work schedule, if I am gone for even 1 day without notice I would surely lose my job and if I told my employer to let me off the hook because I was in a mental hospital he would surely not sympathize. Not to mention how intense it would become at home with my own family members giving me looks of disapproval and disappointment or even amusement because of my mental "weakness". Adding on to that I was hospitalized when I was about twenty one twice in the time span of one month. I must say the psychiatrist there was horrible, HORRIBLE and the employee's were awful as well. They either hated their jobs or loved their jobs because the patient's crazy behavior entertained them. This is no lie, I got a rash on my face while I was hospitalized because a negligent nurse didn't tell me how to properly use a prescription acne face wash. Yet another thing that sparks my curiosity about what the psychiatry and drug industries true intentions are. Why would they give me a prescription for my acne when that has nothing to do with my mental health. Also, because I was put on so many drugs that had potential increased appetite/weight gain listed as side effects I was eating A LOT. I gained twenty pounds in ONE WEEK. That is ridiculously fast weight gain. They had no problem with serving me three meals in one sitting. That was extremely hazardous to my health. The way everything played out while I was there steers me into believing they were milking my health insurance for all it was worth. In conclusion, adviceman49 suggested I keep a note on my fridge to remind myself that I feel okay because of medications. If you took your time to read this which, I know, ended up being really long you now know that was never the case and also never will be. If I have managed to stay even slightly productive it has mostly been because of my own will. As a teenager I honestly thought they were helping me but I realize now that some of the craziest and most destructive things I have done in my life were done when I was on meds. I completely agree that my mind isn't average. Possibly even inferior and defective but one thing I don't agree with is psychiatry's approach to people like me. My last words may be shocking and insulting to either one or both of you: I am back on my meds. After all these years of being on if go off them my mind becomes too much to handle. It is bad when I am on them but worse when I am not. I hate being overly sedated. Most people see right through it and view me as slow and mentally impaired and I have never in my right mind told anyone other than family and psychiatrist's about my diagnosis. If anything those drugs that you refer to as meds. have done nothing good but turn me into their slave. I know 100% deep down that if the first psychologist I saw didn't order me to take drugs and would have stuck to therapies and counseling my situation in the long run would have been much better. I am not stating everything that has to do with psychiatry is bad but MOST psychiatrist's are and the pharmaceutical industry most definitely is.
Hey sweetie! I vaguely remember this question only because I have been asked a lot of mental health questions and because the user is anonymous, so I can't search the question by the person who asked me. But, I'm not insulted at all! I remember a little bit about someone whose name was advice man. But, I hope that you are feeling better. I use to take Zoloft when I was very depressed... I was grieving and I remember how sick it made me feel. It did make me a slave. I felt exactly like you did... zoned out. You may find that without the pills, you will feel liberated. I'm sorry that I couldn't help more. But, I'll keep you in my prayers! xoxo

Q: Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg

I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.

I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me.
first of all, i bet that you are nowhere near ugly! I can't see the shape of your face to give proper advice as to what haircut would best suit you... but, short hair, buzz cuts are really in right now :) sorry i can't be of more help! xoxo

Q: So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again?
I'm sorry that I can't be of much help to you. I am a Christian myself and I'm so sorry that you haven't felt comfortable there. I was very much into Wicca when I was your age and then I started to experience some very scary supernatural things. I thought that I was totally in control when I was into it and felt the exact same thing that you did. And then, I realized that the one I was honoring was one of fear and not hope and life. I know this may not be the answer that you want to hear and it's okay if you want to rate me low. But, this has been my experience.

Q: ok, so thats me, the one with the girl hating my guts. I couldnt log into my account, so i had to reset amd i just used a quick account, but, the girl (L) will crumple up my notes when i send them to her, and shes been pissed now for about 4 months. And is anerexsia really that serious? She needs professional help? :0
Sorry, but I'm not sure that I remember your question in particular. But, anorexia is very serious. I suffered from anorexia during my teenage years. It is not a physical illness. It is a psychological illness that has physical consequences. She looks in the mirror and she doesn't see what's there. She sees someone much bigger and much heavier. Anorexia is an obsession with eating as little as possible and burning as many calories as possible. It's all you think about: day and night. It consumes your life. It is difficult to have ANY kind of relationship with any person: family, friends, significant others... when you are anorexic. You are in a committed relationship with getting thinner and thinner and it consumes all your waking hours. In school, you don't listen because you are just calculating calories and thinking of meals. At night, you just spend your time thinking of everything that you aren't going to eat the next day or perhaps planning your meals. If you do not get professional help, your body will instinctively start bingeing because it does what it needs to, to stay alive. Thus, you will get heavier very quickly and not in a healthy way. Most importantly, you will never learn to eat right or practice intuitive eating. That is basically eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. I did not get professional help and I suffered big time for about two years trying to figure it out going up and down the scale. I was also taking medication at the time, which really didn't help because meds can be tricky with weight sometimes. Please seek professional help for this person immediately! There are anorexic people who are at normal weight and have died! They are not getting enough food into their bodies to survive!
xoxo

Q: My bf of 9 months just dumped me. We were Absolutly head over heels in love. He comes from a super strong Christian background but when he was in his early 20's pretty much split away from the church. His fam is super religous still and recently have been attempting to bring him back to the church. The past month he became distant because he was so torn on what to do. He is very about loyalty to fam and was struggling w the fact that they would dis-own him if he didn't come back. He's almost 30 and says he had been thinking of one day trying church again and so because of the pressure of losing his fam, he has decided he really wants to make a good hard effort now. Because I am not of the same faith, he said he had to end it. His family would never accept him marrying a girl not a part of their church. He said he still wants to stay friends because as bf/gf we are also each other's best friends. My bday is in 1 1/2 months and he says he wants to still get me something and I asked and he agreed maybe hang out if we are ready. Till then I'm going to back off and let us both heal for a while first, but do you think down the road maybe we could work on things once he feels more like he has a grasp on this? I've even been considering maybe converting if in a few months I'm still not over him. I don't know how to go about bringing that idea up as well. Has anyone else ever gone through this and had it work out, or is it pretty much, if it's about religion, it's over...?
I agree with what the last person said. This is not about religion, it is about family. I can relate to some of this because I am very involved in the church. I am a Christian by my own decision to accept Christ as my savior. Not because my family made me. In fact, they weren't even Christians yet when I became a Christian! So, if it were really about him... he would be going to the church out of his own will and his own heart, not because his family is making him.

I have had my own trials and tribulations with my family, nothing to do with religion. Just disagreements and stuff. And I wanted to do everything in my power to get them to just love me and accept me for who I am. It always seemed like I wasn't enough to my mom. It's usually the opposite of mother-daughter arguments. She argues with me because I dress to conservative and I don't go out enough! I'm 23. So, I went through a phase in life where I wanted to do everything to please my mom. Then, when I became a Christian, I started living my life to please God instead of any person. But, what I'm getting at here is that it came from MY heart... not in an attempt to please my mom.

As a Christian myself, of course I want your boyfriend to go back to church and enjoy everything it has to offer. Perhaps these may be his reasons for returning but he will find a different reason to stay. As far as converting... the thing is that it is not something you just do. Christianity isn't a religion about going through motions. It is purely believing. Baptism is just a method that you show the congregation that you believe. So, if you feel like you want to give it a shot, that's great! But, you need to give it a shot before you decide to convert. It has to be something you feel in your heart and something you believe before you can make that decision. You can't just say "I convert" and suddenly you are converted. I'm just telling you this because if you go and say that you want to convert, they will ask you all of these questions.

I read this book a while back called "toxic parents" and basically, it was about how we all have a huge allegiance to our family. We will do anything to gain our parents approval, even if we are old! Or even if parents have passed on! It is normal that he wants his family to approve of him and that he feels like he wants them to care. But, to completely end things with you seems like a pretty harsh thing to do if he still loves you. I think that you should talk to him and you should see him if you feel up to it. But, just remember what the last person said... that he has put his family before you! And in this faith, there is a clear command that once you get married, you're main responsibility is your spouse. It doesn't mean you can't love and help your parents. It is just that you and your spouse are a new home and a new family. But, getting back with him and marrying him won't solve any of this unless he believes it for himself. Marriage doesn't change him and kids won't keep him! Relationships are work that is required from equal parties.

I know that you love him. But, remember that love is a feeling and it can come and go depending on situations. True love in a relationship is work and it is a commitment to one another and right now, it doesn't look like he is ready to offer those types of commitments. It doesn't mean that he never will or that he just made a big mistake without thinking. I'm just saying... guard your heart. Don't put all your eggs in that basket if he has not made you a priority. I hope that this helped!
xoxo

Q: i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance.
Hi! Thanks for confiding. I can understand where you are coming from and I am actually SO glad that you brought this up! I am a Christian girl, who is very devoted in my church and currently working on student ministry. People come up with these questions all the time. How far is too far? Everyone agrees that sex is out of the question till marriage (at least in our faith)... but what about everything else? And I always say that it's not about how far you can go.. its about how you can use your sex life to honor God. In some cases, some have abstained even from kissing until engagement or marriage because they fear going too far! I'm not saying that this needs to be the case with you. But, I'm just saying that I'm familiar with this topic because of the amount of experience I have with it. And reality is, before I gave my life to Christ, I was somewhat a virgin slut. I never did anything sexual. But, I thought it was okay to kiss and be physical with just about anyone! And now I see, even a kiss, as something intimate between two people who are devoted to each other. So, I would never kiss someone on a first date. I'm sorry that you had this experience. I really try not to judge people as if I'm better than them because that's not what I've learned on my faith journey. I've learned the exact opposite. I'm no one to judge. But, I can tell you that this behavior is not honoring to anyone It is not honoring to any man in her life. Even though you are not dating her at the moment, it makes you feel like you aren't special because she could get what she wants from anyone. It is not honoring to her future spouse because by the time she gets married, if she does, she will have been sexual with more men than she has already if she continues along this route. Her mindset is in the now and only now and that could be a problem because she is not aware of consequences that could arise as a result of her actions. Unless she turns from this lifestyle, cold turkey, my advice is that you deserve another kind of girl. If she turns away from this lifestyle, which she may on her religious studies trip, and you want to give her another chance, then it could possibly be an option. But... by the way she is right now, I would say that it's just not something you deserve. I can understand that you feel bothered by the fact that she is with other guys. The thing is that when we date other people, we give pieces of our heart away and we grow attached to them. I am a bit more old fashioned (I wasn't always this way, but by a lot of mistakes, I learned that there's a better way) and I have adopted the practice of courtship. You can google it to find out more about the differences between dating and courtship. But, it's only natural that you feel a sense of jealousy or bother because that person took a piece of you with them. But, remember that this is just a feeling. While feelings are real, and they exist, they are also just that... feelings. You don't need to act upon them or let them control you. Obviously, this type of lifestyle that she lives is not one that you live or like because it makes you uncomfortable. Right there, you know that this is someone that you will not be able to spend the rest of your life with. I don't discourage talking to her as a friend, but I would't reconsider dating her unless she changes and you are up for it. I guess that you can rest easy or recover from these mental images of her with another guy since she will be out of the loop for a year. Just remember... it's okay to acknowledge your feelings. But, it doesn't mean you have to act on them. Especially, if it's something not worth your while. I hope this helped. I hope I provided some counsel at the least :)
xoxo

Q: I am 25 years old and I am a female and I had oral sex for thefirst time ever I have ner fone anything sexual before nowb in my life and I am a virgin . I knowbyou proble dodon't get a lot of women who are old as I am who are virgins asking about stds on this site but iam terrified that I might have aids when I didn't even have intercourse. We were both naked and he ate me out and I sucked his dick and he gingered me could I get aids from letting this guy that I have known since I was 16 do this to me . I know this may make .e sound like a whore but we was only dating a week before he wanted to have sex and I said didn't want to have sex so we decided on oral sex . I am so scared because the other day I was in the shower and I noticed 3 little bumps inside my vagiana and I also have a boil that's kind of grey looking sorry if this is to grafic but I wanted to give you complete detail of what's going on with me so you could answer my question properly. I talked to my cousin about my situation and she said that I needed to go see a gbyon and get tested for aids and other stds . I am so scared. Please help . I made an appointment gor the 10th of my next month and iam absolutely terrified because I don't know what to they are going to do. How do they check for aids is it s blood test or do they actually have to check down there ? Will they tell anyone if I have aids . Please help me. Thank you so much.
"In general, becoming infected with HIV by receiving oral sex is probably a very rare occurrence. The risk of getting HIV through giving oral sex is low compared with unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is some risk. The risk appears to be higher if you have cuts or sores in your mouth."
I found this on an hiv.gov website. Do you think that this person has aids? Is that why you are afraid? Have they told you that they have aids? The thing is also that aids doesn't really manifest itself by bumps. It is in the bloodstream. It is possible that you could have gotten something else, even an infection maybe! But, this really doesn't sound like aids to me.
First off, I do not think you are a slut! I am not into judging people. As far as you being a virgin, I actually commend you. I am a Christian and since most of my friends are from my church, most of them are also virgins or not sexually active at all. Some people have even decided out of personal conviction to save their first kiss with their significant other for their wedding day! So, don't feel ashamed about that either. There are others who have done a lot more and a lot less. So, there is no reason to feel "prude" or "slutty". You are none of the above. You are just you and you are perfect :)
Whatever they find this out to be, they will not tell anyone. You are 25 and an adult and it would be ILLEGAL if they gave anyone your medical information. As far as for aids, yes, it is a blood test. Aids is not a visual thing. To check for other std's, they will actually have to check down there.
I would try and be patient for your appointment. The doctors are there to help you. I will also keep you in my prayers! Please feel free to e-mail me and let me know how everything turns out. xoxo
cfern064@fiu.edu



Q: I'm a freshman , and I've been searching online for good colleges and i just need someone who attended or have seen CUNY : Brooklyn College to tell me is it good or bad ? , and does it have Computer Science ?
After a quick search, I saw that they do have computer science. There's also no such thing as a good school or a bad school. You have to pick a school that is right for you. best wishes xoxo

Q: I didn't expect to get this. I wanted a list of ways to STOP THIS. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I even called a suicide hotline # about a month ago and was put on hold about a dozen times. I kept getting the same lady everytime I called and she clearly did not want to listen to me.
I need help...soon. I have called every number, talked to people, and been used by the rest.
Is there anybody out there who can help? The thought of even starting another month is too much.
Sweetie, call me right away. I will be happy to help you and I am here to listen if you need. My e-mail is cfern064@fiu.edu. If you e-mail me, I will give you my personal phone number. I am 23. I don't know how old you are, but if you are younger than me, I can probably give you some advice of some of the stuff I went through when I was your age. If you are older, maybe you can give me some advice hehe. We all have something that we can share. I am here for you and I know that some things can be tough. But, we are here for each other. That's what this website is for. Many blessings xoxo

Q: I had a horrible dream: my mom bought my brother a bike that was possessed by a demon. I told her not to buy it, it's possessed. She said that we “have to save it" because it's my brother's bike. I told her to just burn it. Get rid of it. She's like,“then how is (brothers name) gonna ride it?" I begged her to throw it away, but she insisted on keeping it. I kept asking people I recognized from school, but didn't know THAT well, if they knew how to remove evil spirits. The bike was blue, and it has some sort of stamp on it that looked like a bloody zombie with horns and fangs. I could find out where I saw all the things in my dreams in my waking world. The bike was in the cellar, and I woke up crying, and freaking out, and I thought a demon was attacking me and my chest hurt:I was having a panic attack. My mom calmed me down, and let me start home from school since I woke up at 3:00am. The panic attack happened for 2 hours, until I was finally able to go to sleep. I was always afraid of stuff like demons and devils and possessions. I am not afraid of bikes however, I am very excited for the weather to get nice so I could ride my bike. Whenever I looked at it it made a sound like “HA ha HA ha HAAAAAAAAA" and a harsh piano sound. What's wrong with me? My mom told me she'd sayegh the house for me on the weekend, and my dad says it's just a dream. Is this something significant?
don't be scared. i know that it is very scary but God is with you. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I know how bad a panic attack can be. I suffer from them as well. But, if it helps you, say a prayer to fight that off. I don't know about your personal religious beliefs, but when I have those fears, I read the Bible or play Christian music. I hope that I was able to help. We all have bad dreams. I have had some pretty terrible ones myself. But, I remind myself that I am out of the dream and that it can't hurt me.
xoxo

Q: I need to lose weight! What you should pay more attention - fitness or food? Thanks
watching your diet and limiting your calorie and fat intake is 80% responsible for weight loss. Exercise is responsible for 20%. Hope this helps. xoxo

Q: 16/F

Whenever my period rolls around, in the few days before and all during I'm always unbearably aroused, my clit is always throbbing, and I scour the house for anything that might help. There's never anything. It's torture really because masturbation in the days before doesn't help. I've never been able to relieve myself and my house is so overcrowded and privacy so unavailable that those moments are few and very far between. I won't try on my period because even the thought of it disturbs me. I basically shut down all rational thought and become a horny beast, which actually makes me ashamed of myself. And when my period ends nothing can get me aroused. Absolutely nothing. It's as if my body flips a switch and refuses to give me pleasure. What should I do?
I'm sorry if this answer won't be of much help. But, I can tell you that it is completely normal. I have similar feelings when I am on my period. I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help. But, I did want to let you know that it was normal!
xoxo

bio
BLONDShorty
I started this column when I was 15 years old, so you'll notice that the advice has gotten better and better. I've always been interested in counseling and I started this column to gain experience. But, I found a lot more than that. I found a support system of caring and loving people. I received a degree in child development and currently working towards becoming a school psychologist. So, I hope you can feel confident in trusting me with your questions. This is more than just a fun site for me. I look back on my own questions from years ago, and I laugh when I read about my problems at 16. I've really come a long way! I'm relatively young, but I've had several experiences in life that have aided me in helping others. I hope to use those experiences for the greater good and help others who are not in their ideal situation!

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