Hello, Everyone. I'm here in the interest of giving non-biased, practical and creative advice. I have a special interest for relationships and people from all walks of life. I am considering a career in life coaching and hope I can be of help to those seeking a different perspective to their situations and issues. Please do not hesitate to contact me; no valid question will be dismissed or considered taboo.
Kindest Regards,
Anne Nonimous
Gender: Female
Location: Central Ohio
Occupation: Assistant Manager/Optician
Age: 24
AIM: BabeMarley
Member Since: September 4, 2005
Answers: 50
Last Update: December 15, 2005
Visitors: 5927
Main Categories:
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Hello, I'm a 16 year old female, looking into a Liquid Diet. I'm 5'6 and 150 pounds.
I was wondering if anyone knew any good liquid diets that worked fast and effiecent, also how much it costs and where I would be able to find them.
Also if anyone tried them and had side effects.
Thank you
(link)
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I think it's rather ironic that right underneath this poster's question is an advertisement for a liquid diet. Great example we're setting here, folks.
Liquid diets can be extremely dangerous. Unless you are being supervised by a doctor you have no idea if you are getting the correct amount of nutrients. If you are losing a large amount of weight 'in a week' or some other short peroid, chances are you are shedding water. This can lead to a severe loss of electrolytes and starting a chain reaction of many different and possibly severe health problems.
All diets that promise a "get thin quick" scheme are depriving your body in one way or another. As soon as you stop the diet, you are going to gain the weight right back.
If you are serious about weight loss the first step is to acknowledge that this is a long process that involves a LOT of hard work, discipline, and an overall lifestyle change. Your best bet is to talk to a doctor or nutritionist who can help create a program that will be ideally metabolized and not jeapordize your health and well-being.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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i want alot of honest opinions on these 2 questions.
1)what do you consider a girl that has had sex since the age of 13? Had another bf when she was 14 then had sex with another guy (cheated on her bf) she barely knows the 2nd time they hung out together?
2)what do you consider a guy that screws a girl he hardly knows the 2nd date, knowing she has a bf?? will rate 5s for honesty!! (link)
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I have a feeling you might be the girl who cheated on her boyfriend that we're talking about here.
First of all, it doesn't speak well that you would indirectly ask for other people to judge your sex life. This insinuates that you harbor some sort of shame or you're looking for approval for your actions. Sex is a normal and healthy expression of a mature relationship. If you're not comfortable with being sexual yet, or the serious consequences having sex might bring, then maybe you should hold off until you find someone you really care about.
A hard lesson learned is that you can't screw guys with the hope they're going to like you. In the end, they won't respect you if you allow them to take advantage of you. A man worthy of such intimacy with your body should have already shown you many times over his love, devotion and respect.
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I really like this older guy and he likes me. The age difference is quite big, he's in his mid 40's and I am 27.
We both like each other and have been on a couple of dates, but I'm worried about other people;s reaction to us.
For example, we had many raised eyebrows when we went out to a restaurant together. Someone asked me if he was my father!!
Also other friends of mine that have met him don't find him attractive and don't know what I see in him. I've always gone for guys with nice personalities than good looking guys who were jerks. So what if he's a little overweight and going grey?
He treats me well and I feel like I can talk to him about anything.
What should I say to everyone who is trying to break us up? (link)
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Hi There. I think I can sympathize with your situation a bit. I've currently been involved with a man who is 11 years older than me for a little over a year now. I'm 23 and he's 34.
I have always been on the mature side for my age. I experienced a lot during my 'wild' phase while I was younger and didn't really get into the college-type dating scene of hook-ups and picking up jerks at bars. He is definitely young at heart. He tends to be goofier than I am, and a lot of his friends are more towards my age. Somehow I think we meet in the middle.
My friends and family raised their eyebrows a little when they heard the description. Paticularly because he had been previously married and has a six year old daughter. But when they met him, and saw how hapy I was, they got to know him as a person and things got better. Not everyone is dying to see us walk down the aisle, but more and more people acknowledge we are in fact a good match.
The point is, he meets my needs. I am comfortable and happy around him, and miss him when he's gone. We live together and look forward to the future.
What is important is how you feel about him. Behind closed doors, that's all there is... you, and him.
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ok i am 18 and i live with my sister (well freind who is so close she is practically a sister) and her fiance. now the two of them are always having sex. like she and i will be playing cards and he asks her to come upstairs. well she comes back like a half hour to an hour later and i knew they were having sex cuz i could hear them. there is no way to drown them out b/c i dont have a cd player and we dont have a tv. and they are so loud i can hear them throughout hte whole house and many times outside the house. it is kinda disturbing, because they go at it multiple times a day, and not even give a shit that i am in the house and am forced to listen to them b/c i don;t have anything else to do. what am i supposed to do? what can i do to block them out or how can i tell her that them having sex is so annoying for me to hear them all the time. its almost as if she is rubbing it in my face that she can have sex b/c i swear they are loud on purpose. and i am a virgin so it is like she is saying "haha i can have sex and you arent". am i reading into this wrong? how can i confront her aobut it? what should i say? please help me out. i am so sick of hearing them having sex. (link)
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I think it depends on how you guys came about living together. I think it's one thing if you lived with this girl, and then the fiance moved in after the fact. Or did they live together first, and you started to stay with them?
If he in fact is the later addition to the house, then you have the right as a 'roomate' to lay down the law about having a little respect for you around the house.
However, if they lived together first and then you came to stay with them, you in fact are the guest. While it shows a lack of decorum the fact they go hot and heavy at all hours, you are staying within their personal space and might be better off just to leave the situation.
Talk to your friend about it. If she gets defensive about the situation then perhaps you've overstayed your welcome and are better off to find a place of your own or with someone else.
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I went out with a guy on and off for over a year, we broke up the last time about five months ago but I never really got over him.
On Friday night I had a party to celebrate my birthday. One of my best friends was there as well as my ex boyfriend. My best friend knew I still like him but she ended up kissing him at my party.
I was really upset about it and she told me that she didn't mean to and that nothing was going to happen between them so I forgave her.
My ex boyfriend said he cared about me a lot as a friend but that he likes my best friend, she likes him back.
Now my best friend won't go out with him because she doesn't want me to be unhappy but she's being really resentful towards me. She said that I was an attention seeker for being unhappy about it and some other stuff.
I told her that she had to choose between me and my ex boyfriend and she found it really hard. I've known her for about 10 years so I was really hurt that she found it that hard to choose when she doesn't even like him that much.
I feel so guilty about it. Either way I'm going to be unhappy. If they go out, I'll lose him and her as friends, I won't be able to hang out with my friends in school because they'll be there and it will be uncomfortable and I'll be generally unhappy. If they don't go out, I'll feel guilty and it won't make him like me. So no matter what I do I lose.
So I have no idea what to do, please help me. (link)
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A girlfriend of mine and I went through a similar situation when we were younger. The guy in question happened to be her first "love", he took her virginity etc. so it was pretty serious. Well the guy and I ended up seeing eachother four YEARS later and we dated casually. Even after all that time, she was FURIOUS at me because I would date him at all.
On one hand, I thought it was ridiculous of her because so much time had elapsed between them. In the end, I realized he was a jerk anyhow and my friend and I remained close. We're going on 13 years of friendship now and I realize the old saying 'men come and go but friends are here to stay' is true.
The point is, you can't call 'dibs' on a guy for the rest of your life. Quite frankly, you don't make it sound as if it were that serious at all. In a few years, you'll be struggling to even remember his last name. Don't throw away a much more important relationship over a petty crush. If you care about your friend and your feelings you will acknowledge that even though you are still getting over it, she has the right to date anyone who isn't currently dating you.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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For Halloween I want to be a person from like the 1800's and I know what I'm going to wear but I want to know make-up to wear. Should I wear like nuetral, brown eyeliner, peach eyeshadow, pink blush? Thanks. (link)
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I think the best thing to do is research period-era costume of the 1800's. At that time, only the lower-class was tanned from working outside, so I'd opt for a very pale powdered look. The women of the era were limited in terms of a lot of cosmetics so I'd keep it simple overall. Also, it was considered culturally unacceptable to wear your hair down in public if you were of any aristocratic background. Again, research online and find a 'look' you are going for. Then you can buy cosmetics accordingly.
Have Fun!
Anne Nonimous
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Should I be worried if I'm on birth control (and have taken it effectively) and he uses a condom and pulls out? I know there's always a chance of getting pregnant, but I should be fine..right? (link)
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Statistically speaking, both condoms and birth control when used correctly have an effective rate of over 99%. While technically the only sure-fire way to avoid being pregnant is abstinence, I'd say that your chances are as low as they can possibly be to not get pregnant and still have sex.
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hey well my friend said this guy was gonna ask me to homecoming..but im kinda worried cause i dont know how to dance. can anybody give me tips on how to dance? lol i know it sounds stupid but any tips? i rate! (link)
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Start by practicing at home in a mirror. Ask a girlfriend that you are comfortable being silly in front of to help you out and show you some of her moves.
find your rhythm. Listen to the song you are playing. In every song there are many rhythms. Pick one, and start to move back and forth in the rhythm. Nothing fancy, start by stepping from side to side with the music.
Practice a few moves in the mirror. Maybe something you've seen in music videos. If you know what something looks like then you don't wonder if what you're doing looks stupid.
Then, once you get to the dance, watch the people dancing around you. If you see a move that looks easy enough, try it. Dancing with a group of friends is great because there's not so much attention on you, and you can copy off of what your friends do. If things are still the way they were when I went to school dances, we mostly danced with our friends for fast songs and with the guys for the slow ones. And that was basically putting your arms around the guy and swaying back in forth to the rhythm. You can handle that.
Remember, be confident. You're at a school dance, not american idol. If you feel like you are messing up, then do something silly and be the first to laugh about it. People can sense if you feel akward or nervous. Chances are most of the other people dancing around you feel nervous too, and they're not dancing much better either. Everyone is there to have fun, so relax and enjoy the music.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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i have a bf who has gone threw a lot with me
and we have been together for 1 1/2 years ..
he meanse everything to me .. he has hit me
in the past and he tried to kill me .. everyone
thinks i should just get over him but i can`t
i love him .. i was gonna have his baby last year
but shit happend with my mom so i had to get
an abortion :-/ . he has also liked this girl
behind my back and hes been lying about it ever
since .. but now he says that he misses me
and everything .. i don`t know what to do ..
i miss him so much .. he just got outa jail
for something big :-/ trying to run me and
my boii off the road but he just needs help.
please help me thank you -Nikky- (link)
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Hi There. I think that maybe you should start by letting one of your girlfriends read the question you just asked aloud to you. I want you to hear the kind of description you're giving for your boyfriend and relationship and consider who in their right mind would tell you to stay with this guy? All I could see is negative after negative. This is not coming from some he-said-she-said jerry springer drama. It came straight from the source... YOU.
There's a very difficult lesson I learned as a teenage girl. When everyone who surrounds you and cares about you... your family, your friends... when they ALL have the SAME THING to say about the guy you are dating... they are RIGHT.
Good Luck...
Anne Nonimous
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I'm 13/f in the 7th grade
For a while, I've been having a real hard time paying attention. I get really bored easily, and I fidget a lot, I'm really slow (physically), and I get lethargic a lot. and I'm VERRRY disorganized. My school learning specialist said that there's a possibility of me having ADHD. but when I was little, I was always full of energy. Usually ADHD shows up in kids when they're little. Does my case sound like ADHD???
x0x0
*Cheyenne* (link)
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Age doesn't play a factor in ADD/ADHD as there are many adults who have never been diagnosed. As others have said, your best idea is to speak to the proper medical professional who can evaluate your situation and recommend a treatment.
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I am in no way fat...i just have very muscular legs. I really would like to be able to wear skirts that look good, but everything just seems to make my legs look bigger. Anyone know of a certain cut/style of a jean skirt that can be hot and flirty but make my legs look slimer? (link)
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Hi There... I think instead of concentrating on the cut of the skirt, maybe you should consider your choice of footwear. A nice higher heel always accentuates a shapely calf muscle. Choosing ones in a color close to your skintone will also elongate the leg, creating a slimmer appearance. I also think heels give you a more feminine posture. Just be careful and work on your balance, lol.
Good Luck...
Anne Nonimous
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ey (sorry its kinda long..) but anyway, i hooked up with this guy (lets call him sam )last weekend..and one of his friends (b0b) the night before was telling me to make sure he wasn't using me and to make sure he really liked me before i did anything with him. But the night i hooked up wit this guy he was piss drunk..so idk if he really remebers or whatever..Apparantly he did remember because Sam called me on saturday night, the next night and was like "Bob is going to tell you that i am using you, and i just wanted to let you know i'm not.." and he gave me this whole long reason why bob would say this..and then i was like ok fine and then i started doubting that it was acutally Sam who had called so i texted him yesterday (monday) and asked him if he had called me a few days ago and he siad no..what do you think is going on here??
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I think it sounds like both Sam and Bob are immature and not worth your time and attention. I don't understand the statement "I hooked up with this guy BECAUSE he was piss drunk". We've all done it. And in retrospect, you realize the reasons you're been sleeping with guys are to try to make them like you or feel better about yourself and it doesn't work. The only thing you end up with is a bad reputation.
I'm not judging you and I'm not trying to tell you not to have sex. What I AM saying is that eventually you're going to realize that if you sleep with guys that have shown through quality time and respect that they really care about you, you won't be dealing with mini-dramas like this anymore.
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plain and simple.. I'm obese, and i feel like dieing. what should i do?
Don't give something as easy as DIET or whatever. Maybe something you or someone you know has done to lose wright? i'm 70 lbs over weight and i hate myself for it... (link)
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Hi there. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling depressed about the way you look. I think most people have been there at one point of another. I have a couple of suggestions:
First of all, I think you should talk to your family doctor. 70 pounds overweight would probably be considered medically obese. Which means you could be at a point where your health is in significant and immediate danger. You need to be monitored by a medical professional to be sure the measures you are taking to lose weight are not going to put your body in limbo for the sake of losing weight.
Also, don't try to do EVERYTHING overnight. It's going to be a process for you. Denying yourself of every food you enjoy all at once is only going to make you miserable and ulitimately, binge. Start with small steps such as:
-try to drink more wanter and cut out soda
-Try following portions recommended on the packaging... (the two cookies that are considered a serving as opposed to the whole box)
-Try to eat more small meals per day instead of a couple of large ones
-make an effort to do ANYTHING active for a half an hour a day. Maybe it's just dancing to music in your room. Maybe it's walking your dog around the neighborhood. It's SOMETHING.
You might also consider joining some sort of organization for support, or even speak to a private counselor. They say that the reason places like weight watches and jenny craig are so successful for long-term weight loss is the fact that they have meetings with other people in your same situation. You can see that you're not a lesser person and find others to be there for you when things get hard.
You need to find someone you can confide in because suicide is obviously a serious, serious matter. You're not alone in this... many people are struggling to lose weight. Help is out there and there are people who understand.
Best of Luck...
Anne Nonimous
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On Friday (16th) I'm going to visit my aunt in Florida. I live in NJ, so I'm taking a plane down with my dad to see her. The thing is, ever since 9\11 I have been PETRIFIED to fly. I've gone on vacation a few times after that and I cried pretty much the entire way to our vacation spot I was so scared. I'm really trying to get over this, or at the very least figure out a way to calm myself down. Anyone have any ideas? (link)
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The fact of the matter is, we never know what's going to happen moment to moment of life. We'are all vulnerable on a daily basis. You can't dwell on the possibility of death on a plane or in a car etc., because you'll spend your life worrying about the inevitable and miss out on LIVING.
Now I'm not saying your anxiety is not formidable or significant. You might talk to your family doctor about your fear of flying. Sometimes they'll prescribe a mild sedative to help you 'rest and relax' during your flight.
At the very least, they are much more strict concerning what you can take upon a flight and random searching. I know I almost didn't make a flight in DC because I had bought my boyfriend this small frame that had little decorative replica swords. We're talking something akin to a beefed up toothpick made of metal. They insisted it was a 'weapon' and I almost missed my flight.
Again, the probability of something happening to you is VERY, VERY small... ESPECIALLY if we're talking about another terrorist attack. As others have said, bring music and books to help distract you, and try not to be afraid because that's exactly what terrorists are trying to achieve.
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look today i just found out that we were moving from clinton to byram,ms! i have been dating my boyfriend for about 1 year and all of a sudden i find out that im moving!!i love him sooooooo much and when i told him today about me moving it totally crushed him. he asked me what he was going to do without me. i wanted to cry so bad. now my question is that if i move should i be worried about him cheating on me without me knowing??? i am sooo confused right now.i really need a friend right now. all of my friends turned their backs on me because they like my boyfriend and they really want to go out with him but he said no to them because he loves me!!!
plzzzzz someone give me advice or have a personal talk with me!!!
thanks (link)
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It is very difficult for two people who met when they are very young walk a parallel line in life forever. And if you did, what fun would that be? People are seperated for all kinds of reasons... sometimes that's the way life goes.
I had an on/off thing with a guy for over EIGHT YEARS that got to be very serious. I lived in OHIO and he lived in CALIFORNIA. Aside from all the drama and heartache, we spoke almost every day and night on the phone and online, and we were a huge support for each other. We were honest about the people we dated at home, and understood that we just couldn't be together at the time. It didn't stop us from loving each other, but I think about all the things I would have missed if I would have wasted all that time pining over him, because in the end, we realized our worlds were so different that we weren't compatible. You end up wanting very different things out of people as you grow up and get older. More often than not, the people that you are CRAZY about as a young person... the love of your life, the one you'd live and die for... are not the same people when you're in your 20's and 30's.
I'm not trying to say that the feelings you have for your boyfriend are not real or important. They are. My best advice is for you two to vow to just stay honest. Try the long distance thing for awhile. You didn't specify exactly how old you are so I don't know what kind of transportation situation or even how far apart the two towns are that you speak of. But if you two can dig up two webcams, you can basically chat every day as if you were together. If it's too hard, then you two may end up seeing other people. There's an entire world of possibility out there. Just stay true to him and yourself, and you can't go wrong.
Best of Luck!
Anne Nonimous
P.S.-
The one upside to all of this is you can find a whole new group of friends that aren't worthless and conniving. With girlfriends like yours who needs enemies? In the end, this is one of the biggest tests of a relationship that two people can go through. If your boyfriend ends up dating one of your girlfriends behind your back then you're fortunate to see his true colors.
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Alright I have been battaling eating dissorders for about 2 years now.. but i have thought i was fat sense i was about 7.. I thought i was done with the whole problem until i just made myself puke.. It would help if I just had someone to talk to =/ Im not sure what to do. Im not going to tell my parents or any adults or anything cause ill go to a hospital! please help me! (link)
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Hi There. I'm sorry to hear that you're having some issues about your self-image. It's very disturbing to think of a young woman hurting herself in this way. I don't know that you understand the seriousness of your problem.
While telling your parents is a drag, and so is the counseling that goes along with it, I hate to say it but I feel it is in your best interest. Bulimia goes beyond a bad-self image. This is a SERIOUS disorder that can lead to permanent physical damage or DEATH. Remember Terry Schiavo (the braindead woman in florida who was taken off life support this year)? They are assuming her stroke was caused by a severe eating disorder. It's not just a scare tactic when they tell you that denying your body of nutrition can lead to heart attack, stroke, and other traumatic stresses to your internal organs. It's no good being skinny if you're not alive to enjoy it.
I don't think you can just 'decide' that you aren't fat, and that you can convince yourself to stop hurting yourself in this way. If it were that easy, then everyone would 'quit' having an eating disorder at the first sign of health problems. But they don't... men and women continue this cycle of behavior until someone intervenes or they ask for help themself, or worse... no one does, and they end up seriously hurt or dead. Bulimia even goes beyond food- often it's an issue of control. Those who feel 'helpless' in life sometimes turn to self-destructive behavior in order to feel like they are 'in control' or something such as food. You have to ask yourself why you feel so badly about the way you look or your weight in the first place. I would bet that if I put your picture up with 10 other girls your age that no one would look at your picture and say "look at that little girl- she's so fat". Why would you feel that way?
Again, please don't be ashamed or scared to ask the adults in your life for help. Hopefully, your family has not contributed to your self-image issues and will be there to support you and get you the help you need and deserve. You have so much to enjoy and celebrate in life. Please don't let yourself waste away to nothing before realizing that you're worth more than this.
Best of Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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Ok well last year there was this guy and everybody said he liked me. well i didnt think anything of it cause i wasnt to much into guys and i thought he was just a friend.
Well this year i like him alot and he doesnt like me and i think its cause i act different around him since i do like him.
How do i act like i did before i liked him? (link)
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It sounds like you're being "too available". Think about it in the opposite way: If a guy gushed over you all the time, and basically "sweated" you, it would be a turn-off because they would seem too eager. Guys like girls that are confident and savvy. So basically, don't pay attention to him for awhile. If he digs you, he'll miss your presence and approach you again.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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I'm 17/F and I need advice concerning my boyfriend. We have been together about 2 months now and things have been up and down between us, but we are head over heels in love with eachother. We occasionally have our fights over petty things, but we always make up and I am very happy being with him. Well recently things were even more amazing than usual and we hadn't fought like we usually would. Well it seems like everyone is out to break us up. I had my ex boyfriend trying to tell him that I cheated on him, and then I had guys that used to be friends with him telling me he cheated on me. Everyone was trying to get us to break apart and the underlying reason was crystal clear to me: They wanted us to break up so that I would be single so they could make their move on me. All of them mentioned how they could "treat me better" and all that bullshit. I truly love my boyfriend and I would NEVER cheat on him. But the one area that I always stumble into in all the relationships I've been in is trust. I'm naturally not a very trusting person. And I definently don't trust my boyfriend that much. I trust he would never cheat on me, but when he tells me something I don't trust his word on it. He makes up white lies all the time and exaggerates alot. I have no problem with this really, because I can be a fibber at times as well. But the problem I do have is that he is VERY secretive about his serious issues in his life. Like his family especially. He only lets me know bits and pieces about his family issues. He lives with his mom and his step-dad. I know ALOT about this family. I've met them and I know all of them really well. But his real dad I don't know much about and he doesn't tell me much. His real dad he is not allowed to see because his mom doesn't want him around him, so she told my boyfriend that if she caught him going up there to see him she would send him to military school. So he secretly keeps in contact with him and visits him only about twice a year. He said he won't tell me much about it because the last girl he was with threatened to tell on him to his mom once and she almost got him caught and he said he wants to keep certain things to himself. And I understand that. I'm the same way. But he is double-sided. If I keep something to myself and I am upset about it, he will get PISSED if I don't tell him all the details. And just last night I was hanging out with him and his mom called his cell demanding him to get his ass home or she would call the cops. He had just got off work and it was around 12:30 when we drove back to his house. His mom and step dad were pissed because he "hadn't done his laundry" and he was out late, when he doesn't have a curfew on the weekends! So that didn't at all make sense to me. Well he pulled up at his house and his step dad was standing in the front lawn. He gave me a kiss goodnight and the minute he opened the car door to get out, his step dad reached his hand into the car, grabbed my boyfriend by the hair and threw him onto the front lawn and started punching him and kicking in his ribs and face! I immediately got out of my car and ran over there. His step dad was punching him and cussing him out and my boyfriend was on the ground screaming, "I didn't do anything wrong! STOP!" Well I started screaming at his dad to stop fucking beating him up and he looked at me and briefly stopped and told me to get in my fucking car and get the hell out of there or something will happen. I stood there not wanting to leave, but my boyfriends uncle gently pushed me toward my car and told me to leave quickly. The whole night I couldn't sleep or eat and I was crying all night and morning because I was afraid they found out he went to see his real dad and they were going to send him away. And I was also afraid my boyfriend would decide to move 2 hours away to get away from them. Well I finally got to see my boyfriend around 10:30 and his face was all cut up, his ear cartilage was torn, his back was covered in welts and so was his neck and chest, and his head had a HUGE bump on it. He told me his step dad called the cops on him because he punched him and busted his nose. (His dad had continued beating the shit out of him for 15 minutes straight after I left and drug him by his hair up the stairs so my boyfriend got up and punched him in the face). Well when I asked why his dad did this he said he would tell me later. Then he told me later that he couldn't tell me because it was a "family issue" and it didn't concern me and it was something real serious, and he was told not to talk to anyone about it. Well I was upset that he wouldn't tell me, but I wasn't going to press it. Well later that night he told me the reason was because he "missed curfew", "kept having people over without permission", and "wasn't checking in with them enough". I know it was a lie. I can tell when he lies and he was lying to me. But I wasn't going to add stress by bringing it up. So is there any way that I can get my boyfriend to open up to me? I understand people need there privacy and some thing kept to themselves, but there are certain things I think I should be entitled to knowing since I am his girlfriend, and since he expects me to tell him about my serious issues as well. (Sorry my question is so long!) (link)
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Hello there. You've got a LOT going on in your life. I think you're stuck in a toxic relationship. Let's talk about that first:
A true and healthy relationship will revolve around basic aspects: Trust, Honesty, Love, and Respect. You and your boyfriend aren't going to be able to reach a true level of intimacy if you haven't gotten past the level of he-said she-said bs and basic communication. True love is based upon the good, the bad, and the ugly. And love sometimes means being hurtful because that's what is the truth. If he isn't going to open up to you, you will always feel arm's length from him despite the time you two share together. It has to be a reciprocal relationship of give and take. You get back what you give in. Otherwise, you end up feeling completely drained, and ultimately empty-handed.
As for the episode of Jerry Springer, it's not your boyfriend's fault that he is in a bad situation with his family. No one deserves to be in a position of abuse or neglect. His stepfather should be reported to the proper authorities and they should be separated by either your boyfriend or his stepdad living somewhere else. Now that being said, you need to consider where you stand with your man. Is being with him healthy for you? Is being with you better for HIM at this time in his life? It's hard to walk away from someone in their time of need. You may decide to be there to support and comfort him, and that would be admirable. But do consider your well being too. Putting yourself in harm's way or emotional distress won't help either one of you or your relationship either.
You need to have a heart to heart and level with him. It's got to be real and true from here on out. If he loved you the way he says he does, he would trust and respect you enough to let him into his life and let you share his burden. You need to respect his pride and privacy, but also be real to him, too. He should know by now whether or not you are going to cheat. So no more white lies, you have to live up to the expecations you place upon him.
I hope things work out for the best.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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tuesday i turn 15. and i have lived with my mom since i was born. her and my dad got a divorce when i was realy little. i go to my dads every other weekend. my dad hasnt really been the kind of dad he is suppost to be. but i still love him. Well my dad lives in newnan and i love it down there all my friends are there and i have so much fun down there. My mom lives 2 hours away in lawenceville and i hate it here. We moved here a couple months ago and i have been in this new high school for 1 month now. I have no friends, everyone is stuck up and annoying there. I want to move in with my dad. Not because i love him more, but because i like it better there. my mom is always complaining that we dont have any money and i spend too much. Well i love her verrrrry much but if i tell her i want to live with my dad, she will get very upset adn like cry and all. What are some good ways i can tell her without her getting so upset? any help is wanted.
I RATE HIGH!!! (link)
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Hi There. I'm sorry to hear that you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have a little bit different background, but I think I can sympathize.
Growing up I had a great childhood. When I was 12, my parents informed me out of the blue that their marriage was over, and that my mom was moving out. So, I was posed with the same difficult dilemma. Which one of my parents do I stay with? I ended up staying with my dad because we were in a better school system, my friends were there, etc. I can't say it wasn't hard and that it didn't probably hurt my mom. But everyone knew it was for the better of all of us. My mom and I had a difficult time for awhile. We got into huge fights and things were strained. But over time, we rebuilt a new relationship and even though we don't live together, we're closer than ever in a new way.
I would suggest sitting down with BOTH of your parents if they can be civil. If not, then just your mom. You have to express to her how you are honestly feeling without being accusatory or disrespectful. Explain to her that you are not doing well at your new school; that you miss the familiarity of your hometown, and that it in no way reflects your love for her. Assure her that you think this is better for everyone and that you will spend time with her on the weekends etc. and DO IT.
Part of being a teenager is making the transition of a child-parent relationship to an adult-adult relationship. It's not easy to reach that level of honesty and trust. In the end, I hope your mother will respect that you are making decisions that will benefit not only yourself but your family.
Good Luck.
Anne Nonimous
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I get embarassed ALL the time. EVERYTHING embarasses me. It has gotten so bad, that it's to the point where getting embarassed is what I think about ALL day. I wonder when I'm gonna feel stupid, or who is gonna embarass me, etc..When I get embarassed my face turns BRIGHT red and it stays that way for a while and only gets worse when I think about it. I can feel it getting hott and I know it's turning red and then I think about it which makes me feel even more stupid! I'm so nervous and I don't want to look like an idiot. What are some ways that I can not be so obvious or cover it up!? Is there make-up, a certain way to breathe, or ANYTHING!? I'm so desperate. I need help! (link)
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From the symptoms you are describing it almost sounds as if you have some sort of mild social anxiety disorder. Everyone seems pretty dismissive that you're just feeling akward or self-conscious but to me it sounds like something more significant. If you are thinking about it all day, and experience PHYSICAL symptoms about being around/in front of people than perhaps you should speak to some sort of counseling. It's not 'okay' for you to feel anxious, scared, embarassed or uncomfortable in public all the time. I would talk to your family doctor and see if he might have recommendations about what to do next.
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