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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
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advice
Since yesterday morning I've been feeling sick. It may help for me to tell you that I am a female, 16 years old, 5'6, and on the slim, but not underweight side. My symptoms have included slight headache, extreme loss of appetite, a few bouts of nausea, exteme fatigue, and the biggest one, chills. I've been getting LOTS of chills, but I don't have a fever. I checked my temperate today and yesterday and it was right at normal. My head and body feel warm according to other people, but my fingers, toes, and tip of my nose are cold to the touch. Yesterday and today I have taken the following medications for this:One daily vitamin, Echinacea, an herbal supplement to help stimulate the immune system, Prevacid that I take for nausea/dry heaves that I frequently get, but hasn't been a problem during the time of my feeling ill. There has been a little bit of nausea, but it hasn't been as bad as it usually is, and I've also taken two Naproxen Sodium (store brand Aleve/Tylenol, etc.)
My biggest problems is that I have to babysit tonight, and spend the night at their house, and I'm going camping tomorrow night for the entire three day weekend. I've already talked to the mother of the girl I babysit for and she told me that it was ok that I still babysat and I could just lay on their couch. I'm wondering if I should stay home from school tomorrow to help myself get better. This is only my first week of school, so I'm not sure if my parents will actually allow me to stay home. I absolutely NEED to feel better and actually BE better by tomorrow evening, because it is out of the question for me to stay home from camping. I also can not see a doctor.
Please give me any advice/tips/medicine/anything.
Thank you.
It could be that you are literally worried sick over something. To be honest, I'm not sure many people on this site could properly answer this question. My best advice would be to right away see a doctor, and to get as much rest as possible. Maybe camping isn't the best idea at this point since you'll be in a remote area with few creature comforts. Get lots of rest, relax as much as you can. Benadryl or tums (both available at the drug store) are good for nausea (if they don't have any funny reactions to being taken with Prevacil). Echinacea is normally for colds, sometimes used in sore throat medecine so I'm not sure that that's really making a difference. You may want to check your temperature with another thermometer in case your is wrong; it's weird that you have chills and no fever.
Anyway, sit tight and get some advice from a doctor. They'll have more luck telling what's wrong.
There's this guy who I've been friends with since like 7th grade, Ben. and i dunno. whenever me&ben have a fight it seems like he doesnt care that i wouldnt be his friend anymore.like im not mportant enough. but its not only that way with ben. its that way with it seems like, everybody...does anybody have any tips on how to get people to WANT to be your friend or like...to have people like you better? i know its not really a question i can just get an answer easily from but hey its worth a try!
Well, first of all, don't rule out the possibility that you're being paranoid. It could be that the reason why your friends aren't so worried about you staying friends after you have a fight is because they know one fight wouldn't end a friendship. Let's face it, friendships ended through one fight aren't very strong (either that or it was one hell of a fight).
Generally, to be liked, people like it when other people are interested in them. Just as you have a strong desire to be liked, everyone else also has a similar strong desire. If you show that you like other people, they will generally like you back (as long as you don't go stalker and overboard, but you get the idea). Different people have different comfort levels in this area, so just do what feels okay for you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the next time you see someone sitting all alone, and you aren't really talking to anyone, you could appear interested in that person... like when school starts you could say hi, and ask the person about their classes, or something like that. If I personally was all alone, perhaps feeling lonely and or sad, someone I didn't really know talking to me would make me feel liked and I wouldn't help but like that person. The second thing people like is people that like themselves. Once again, just like you wouldn't stalk and interrogate people, going overboard with this one isn't good either; you don't want to be one of those people that thinks they are God. Some confidence, however, is good. Hold your head high when you enter a room and look like you know what you're doing. Even if you feel insecure that day, or like you're clothes don't match, tell yourself you are a style diva and that you are clearly one of the most awesome people there. If you look like the type of person who is confident enough to carry out a conversation people will naturally want to talk to you, and the energy that you are giving off by being confident will energize the people around you. Another thing - so simple but necessary, is to smile and look interesting. It sortof goes with the whole confidence thing. IF you tell yourself that you are an interesting person who is going places, other people will believe it. If you smile at someone you may not necessarily know, you are giving them a small gift of that smile, as well as an invitation. You are telling that person that it's okay to talk to you and you instantly make yourself that much more approachable.
Finally, you must care about things other than being liked. This is something that you can only find inside yourself, but it's your reason for being, and although you won't easily find all of it, by recognizing the bits and pieces that make you YOU you can be really, truly comfortable in your own skin. Being comfortable with yourself and caring of the world around you - that's all you really need to feel liked. But while you think of being more "liked" than you are don't forget the people right now that appreciate you for you; the last thing to remember is not to take these people for granted.
okay so I'm sure you have in your life have found someone you really like but you're too slow to make a move and ask. WEll I really like this guy but I'm only a freshmen and he's a junior so there's a BIG age diff. there. Anyways I really like him but I dont think it will ever work out even if he does like me back. I just want to find true love. And I also want him to like me but i'm too scared to know. I mean if he doesnt like me then I'll be in a depressive stage for a long time. And if he does how will it work out? He would never get to see me not unless he picks me up. I live like forever away. He lives in a diff county thats an hour away. Plus we go to diff schools. My 1st question is should I ask him if he really likes me? Because my mom always told me that guys chase after you, you dont run for them. BuT i'm really sick of wondering if he wants me. Its a horrible thing. My 2nd question is if I do fall in love does this mean things like seeing each other will happen naturally or is that a lie. Because If he likes me and we start going out then I'm gonna have to see him. Thats the way it is. I'm not real sure abou him he might break my heart. so idk.
First of all, calm down. Second...
An hour is not far, if both of you met between both your houses that's only half an hour between you - the subway system, learn to love it (or the bus system. Or whoever can give you a lift). Two years is not a big age difference; there are plenty of couples that live farther away and that have much larger age differences that work out. This really could work out but you should keep a cooler head if you want him to like you back.
I mean this in the nicest way. I don't think anyone likes to be chased. I mean, honestly, most people would be really freaked out if someone they did not know well came up to them all like "OMIGOD I like you! Do you like me too?" They wouldn't really know what to do. They might be a little stunned, and there would be so much pressure for them to like you back that they would run away on you to avoid it. The best way to start something is to let the person know that you like them by showing it, subtly, without them really knowing what's going on and without you putting much pressure on them to like you back. Your mom isn't necessarily right that the best way for relationships to work is for guys to chase girls - this is a little sexist. It works best, I find, when there is something mutual between the two people, when they get to know each other gradually at first. For example, you could add him on some sort of online device. This is very casual. You can even start a conversation without sounding obsessive or stalkerish, which is the worst thing, because everyone starts conversations with everyone online. Once you've started talking you can start to see if he is really your type, as well; I mean, for now, how do you know if you like him if you haven't really gotten to know him? Once you've done a little of that, you could invite him somewhere with a bunch of other people, or just invite him out casually ei. it's a nice day want to go to the park? or it's my friends birthday and I want to bake her cookies want to help me? (if it's at your house or his make sure a parent is home so he doesn't get the wrong idea). It might be best to get to know him semi-well before you do any of the inviting if he lives an hour away. Now back to the guy chasing thing. He probably isn't crazy in love with you if he isn't initiating anything, but who says you can't go after a guy? The trick is you can't seem overly obviously obsessed or he will be freaked out, and I wouldn't tell him straight up you like him until you've had a few casual get togethers. Don't tell them they are dates at first unless you are sure he likes you back. Make them friendly so it's casual casual casual because then you'll have more chances of getting him to like you back.
That said, remember to tease him a little. Let him know you are open and available, but not desperate.
To answer your second question, people usually fall in love after they have been seeing each other for a while. It doesn't happen before with no effort as two people start easily seeing each other. Nothing really happens naturally; if you want something you have to go for it and work for it (just not look like you are, does this make sense?). And yes, when people become attached to other people, they could get hurt. But on the other hand if we as a population never took chances on important things and failed sometimes, then we'd all never know anything; we'd never know love. It may be hard liking this guy who goes to a different school and who lives in a different county, but if like him enough to go for it then don't give up.
okay so like i really like this guy and he just admitted to me that he likes me. it was over a text, and i wrote back "i dont know what to say" and he was like "neither do i" and i asked him "do you think we can talk somewhere?" and he was like "in a few...i can't get out at the moment" and i wrote back "text me when you can" and he hasn't texted me back. its really stupid bc he doesn't want it to ba awkward between us but he still says he lieks me. this is really starting to annoy me because i really like him, but theres like no chance that he wants to talk to me. its kinda getting me really mad. i dont know what to do, what to say to him, if i should call him, its just making me really mad and i need advice like now.
The only thing I can think of as to why he's being weird about this is you didn't actually say you liked him back so he may feel like a bit of a fool. Either that or someone else got him to say that as a joke (it doesn't sound like this or why would he keep texting?)
Probably he's really nervous and or feels like a fool. He basically spilled his guts to you and when you didn't say you liked him back, he doesn't think you do. Now you asking to see him where he can be reminded of how much he just made a fool of himself (in his mind) and how much you don't like him (also in his mind) - well, he's thinking about how awkward and uncomfortable that situation would be for him and is probably now going to avoid you because he's really embarrassed and needs to be alone so he can stop feeling like such a goof.
So as for what you do. You could a) play "hard to get" and not text him any more, wait till he approaches you again which he probably won't. You could wait out him feeling embarrassed and fool-like and see if he'll see you to talk to you b) tell him you like him back. Over text. Or call him. Very awkward on your part. A delayed reaction which may very well make him incredibly suspicious of you. However, there are things you could do to make it less awkward. Explain yourself. That the reason why you didn't tell him at first that you liked him back was because you feel uncomfortable telling him this over text message (or some sort of excuse that sounds plausible). You could send a text like this "Since you're not free I'd like to tell you that I like you as well. I didn't tell you earlier because I wanted to do it in person, which is why I asked to meet you" in your own words, of course. This is a lot less awkward than "I like you too!" randomly out of the blue but accomplishes the whole admitting that you like him just the same. Whatever you do, however awkward your next words to him are, remember that he just put himself out there to be embarrassed and will most probably appreciate it if you were willing to do the same for him. What are you waiting for! Get on your phone/email thing... and good luck =]
i think of everything in a pestimestic way. which then gets me WAYYY stressed out.how do i stop doing that..?
You could go to a therapist if you're really concerned but I doubt you need to.
Another thing you could do which you could do on your own is every time you get a thought that is seriously pessimistic, write it down, and then make a chart, or a line down a piece of paper. On one side write down all of the arguments for that pessimistic statement, and on the other side write all the arguments against. You'll get a much more balanced view of what is actually going on.
Another thing you could try is when you are really worried about something bad that could happen, ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen if (pessimistic thing) happens?". It's really easy to have a huge horrible feeling of dread in you, but it's easier when you really think of it and find out that what could actually happen isn't that bad.
If you ever get way too worried about all the horrible things in your life, you could also think of people worse off than you. Try making a list of, instead of everything that's wrong, everything that's right in your life. There's so much in life that does go wrong, but hey, you have internet access, you are definitely not the worst off.
If all else fails, pick a period of time to just think of yourself and worry and stress. Write down everything that is bugging you and be completely overly dramatic until instead of stressing yourself out, you laugh at how ridiculous you're being. Think of how someone else would see you over dramatizing everything you worry about. And don't forget to take deep breaths. Sometimes, when you're really stressed, it helps to just lie on your bed and focus on a period of time, real or imaginary, where you were really, truly, relaxed and happy.
Take lots of time for yourself, find a passion that allows you to let out the stress. For me it's drawing, and writing. Stuff like that. If you're athleticly inclined, or even if you're not, lots and lots of excersize definitely helps, as well as getting the right amount of sleep. Eat veggies, stay away from fast food. Hobbies like yoga, meditation, though I've never tried them, are probably worth checking out.
Find something you can do when you get really stressed out... loud music, punching a punching bag, anything.
Overall, the way to get rid of pessimism and resulting stress is to really enjoy and appreciate what you have, which is easier said than done. You'll have to figure out how to do this on your own. It could be taking ten minutes a day to remember all the good parts, trying something new and then feeling good about it, or achieving some sort of goal that's tricky for you and then remembering it everytime you doubt yourself. Or anything I suggested above. Life has a lot of good things and a lot of bad things; you need to find out in your own way how to see both.
okay so this might be a bit long, but ill try to make it as short as possible. i met the most amazing boy ever back in june and we were kinda dating or w/e for a month or so and we hung out last friday. i was talking to him on the phone sunday and he said he meant to ask me out but he got nervous even though he knows what im going to say. im 16 and hes 18 but school-wise hes only a grade ahead of me. anyways, he got in a fight with his dad and his dad took his cellphone from him and turned it off and like basically banned him from the computer. i havent talked to him since monday and i havent gotten a text from him in 2 days. im not worried that he doesnt like me anymore or anything silly like that but i dont know how long this is going to last. i dont have any means of communication with him at all and its driving me completely looney. he means the world to me, im completely and totally in love with him. I just need idea's on how to stay strong through this. Hes the most amazing boy ever and i dont want to lose him. i dont want him to move back to cali with his mom and leave texas. that would absolutely kill me. i really need some guidance. thankyou so much!
Do you know if he's grounded or not? If he isn't you could try calling his house, or getting together with him.
IF he's off limits for now just try to distract yourself. You know, call a few friends and you can all hang out together. Go shopping, go running, paint something, answer a few questions on this site. Of course you're going looney if you have nothing to distract you!
How long it will last - I doubt it will last a really long time since if worse comes to worse school will be starting and he'll have to use a computer for school anyway. And since they are paying for his cell phone, it wouldn't really make sense if they took it away from him completely; I mean, the main reason parents give their kids cell phones to begin with is to know where they are at all times.
If it does go on forever, you could create some date place and time where you always meet, once a week or so, and that way you'll know that whatever comes between you you'll always have that time to catch up with each other and spend time together.
Him moving to texas is huge and you should probably think about that when it comes, especially since you don't even know it will happen. It seems like you tend to worry a lot about things that are already happening enough for you to add this to your train of thought. If he does move away, of course it will be hard for you. You'll have to seriously think about how much you do love him and how much he loves you, and think about if you could have a long distance relationship or if you should break it off and forget about him completely. But seriously, for now, go out, have some fun, stop thinking about missing him or what could happen. You have a few days of summer left, might as well enjoy them to the fullest.
I'm 16/f. Ever since middle school, I've been wishing for a really great guy to come along and like me. And right now, there's finally a guy who I think is interested in me... well, I'm assuming he is because he's been calling me beautiful and hugging me all the time and just acting like he likes me. But whenever I see him, I feel so nervous and awkward and kinda avoid him and idk why! He's all nice to me and I'm standing there freaking out. But other times, I really want to be with him and stuff. Ugh, I've been wishing for a great guy and now there IS one, but it just makes me so nervous and awkward. I bet he's gonna ask me out soon, but I'm so freaked out of having a boyfriend that I'll probably just end up saying no and regretting it.And plus, he got out of a really long relationship with my friend, and she's not over him, so I'd feel like a total jerk if I went out with him because I know she'll feel really upset. He's such a sweet guy and he obviously cares about me, but I just don't know what to do. I've been so upset over not having a boyfriend and when I finally get the opportunity, it's so complicated. I'm so confused right now and it's all I've thought about lately. Please help!
Sounds to me like the reason you feel so nervous and weird about him is because you like him back! I wouldn't be worried about feeling worried because the nervous feelings are probably a good sign, anyway, considering that it's your first time (I'm guessing?) and it in a way shows that you like him a lot (same with the avoiding. Liking someone can be confusing).
Anyway, while this doesn't really seem to be an issue, it is a problem if him and your friend have a history together. True, if you miss this chance, you will probably regret it, but there will be other guys, other chances. You should talk to your friend about how she feels about this, and the possibility of you and him getting together. If she still isn't over him, and especially if she wants to get back together with him, you should really wait before even considering this guy. It'll be hard but a lot better in the long run since I don't think you'd want to loose a friend over all of this. Besides, once she is over him or at least if you talked to her first it would really prove something about the kind of person you were to her and to yourself, and you'd be in the clear for any sort of messy complicated stuff that could otherwise happen.
i am 14 and i have worn my hair up everyday of my life since i was in like 4th grade... its not that i dont like my hair... i just hate the way it looks its really ugly looking.. like i need a different cut or something i dont no but now even if i do get a different style i am totally not confident enough to wear it down.. i mean no one has ever seen me with it dowm and its not like i can just walk in one day with it down.. its not that easy! please i need advice (and not just be confident or anything like that... real advice please! it would help to know someone else is like me!!!) thanks!
Try going up to your mom and saying something like "Mom, I don't really like my cut, can I do something different with it" or ask to go to her hairstylist. Likely if you explain to her that you don't like wearing your hair down because of the cut she'll get all excited about your drive to switch the cut thanks to this sort of motherhood instinct/ girl instinct that my mom seems to have, at least.
In terms of actually changing your hairstyle, there's a lot you could to to switch it up without actually wearing it totally down. You could get a side bang, or leave pieces of hair down to frame your face while wearing it up. There are different kinds of ponytails - pigtails, buns, high and low ponytails... For the first time you wear your hair down, it might be best to ease into it. Start wearing it differently around the house, and then a little bit when you are going to places say, with your family, where no one else you know will see you. Wear it n a half ponytail at first, and then down altogether.
Or you could just get some kind of mini-makeover for a confidence boost. Get your friends over and tell them your situation - you know, the kinds of friends that love the idea of making anyone up. Get it straightened or put some scrunching gel in it to create waves. Or just leave it, get a nice wash, and comb it out.
Remember that other people aren't really preoccupied with your hair. It's your life and your look and the person that it will always matter the most to is you. You only have one life, might as well take a deep breath and wear your hair any way you want it.
I might start dating this guy I like him a lot but he's a virgin and he doesn't want to have sex until he loves a girl. That's good and all but I've never had sex with a virgin.. like does he know what to do lol i don't want it to be awkward. And how am i going to wait until he loves me to have sex with him i dont think i can do that lol.
You need to think about how much you like this guy, and how you like him. Do you only like him in the physicals or do you truly like him as a person? Are you looking forward to getting him to fall in love so you can have sex or are you looking forward to getting to know him and spending time with him and looking out for each other and laughing at each others' jokes? If you aren't really into this guy or ready to wait until you guys fall in love to "do" anything, maybe you shouldn't be together. However, I don't think you should totally pigeonhole yourself into this person that needs to have sex to be satisfied. IF you really find yourself liking him you should definitely go for it.
Now I realize that going for it would be a little different for this guy. You'd have to think about everything a little differently. Instead of thinking about how good he'll be in bed, if you really like this guy, think of how good he'll be in conversation. Instead of trying to find spots alone with him while dating, you'd have to focus on going places together where you can have a good time, some kindof a shared interest maybe in watching sports, going to a concert, I don't know.. a lunch at a cute cafe. It's not entirely a bad thing to find someone who is looking for love and commitment and who I'm guessing will respect himself and probably you in the process. Right now, if you are considering dating this guy, you shouldn't be thinking about sex or it may cause some awkward moments between you since he obviously isn't ready and you'll get into this whole uncomfortable pressure "are you ready yet?" thing. However, when it does come to the sex, remember that at one point you were a virgin, too.
this is a question for guys but girls can answer to
well i go to ccd every summer and there is this really cute guy in my class. Anyways sometimes he looks at me, and when there is a small joke and when i smile he always seems to look at me and smile. he looks at me every now and then and i do the same, and he sat next to me once, and then at the end of class he stood right next to me and it seemed that he was either talking to me or himself. Anyway does this guy like me, want to be my friend, or all of this is just nothing really?
13/f and he seems really popular and knows alot of prettier girls then me so why the hell would he be intrested in me?
thanks
Trust your gut on this one, but to me it seems like he likes you :]
Liking or even loving someone is weird like that, it doesn't matter how pretty or popular or talented or successful either of the two people are in comparison of each other, it happens randomly, in a totally different wave of making sense than anything else.
Anyway, yes, so this guy probably likes you. That said, there is no way to really tell how much yet. It seems like now he likes you in a kind of shyer way and you should treat the situation delicately. If you like him back, play slightly hard to get, stay available, act like the nice sweet person you are (you know, act yourself), and don't forget to get his email/whatever at the end of the summer (if he doesn't ask first). Good luck!
im in a mix band were all christians and we do do christian music and we do other stuf im the lead singer i need some song ideas 2 right some new songs for us yal got any good subject
the best songs are the ones that are personal, that everyone feels or at least something that one of you has felt at some point. This is anything but I'll write a few random ones to spark your imagination:
love,
uncertainty,
fear,
hope,
that feeling you get when you're inspired,
sadness,
missing someone,
regret,
sunsets,
any metaphor (I once wrote a song on sunsets and death... a little morbid but yours doesn't have to be)
confusion,
loosing one's sanity,
breaking up with someone,
that feeling you get when you might like someone,
the feeling you get when you leave something familiar behind for something completely different,
any important message you wish to get out, really..
You could use your christian influence to write stuff about God, songs like feeling abandoned by God, inspired by Him, protected by Him... but it may be easier if you did some songs that are about the Lord and some just about your life now or something of the sort (those, I find, are the easiest to write)
Good luck!
15/f. I'm always sad. And I have no reason to be. I have friends, my parents are still together, I get things that I really want and need, my parents give me attention, people are nice to me, I get good grades...All that good stuff. You know? Nothing missing. But I'm just so upset. Everyday. Sometimes I have outbursts of happiness. But they usually last for as much as one hour. Now, as a sophomore, I have these feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and sadness. I know I need to see a therapist, but my parents strongly disapprove, saying I don't need one. I used to cut myself just to get attention from people that weren't even my real friends. I even have thoughts of suicide. I feel like I'm in jail, you know? I'm always anxious and stressed and I rarely ever make plans with people anymore. I can't stand being alone. And I need [CRAVE] attention and affection to make my days (from people other than my parents), otherwise, it's like "what the hell am I living for?"
This all seems really ridiculous to me. I have never had any type of trauma. I've never been raped/molested etc...I'm just so f-ing confused.
What can I do? :\ What makes people happy?
Sucky as it is, depression doesn't need to have a reason, and there is nothing in the world that can "make" someone happy. The same thing happened to me a year ago, when I was 15. I had known I was depressed before then but no one would believe me. The thing about being depressed is that the whole thing is so damn stigmatized. The truth is there are so many more people in therapy and taking meds than you may think, or than your parents may think. The main thing is, while it may be true that this is a phase, or that you are a teenager, it is your life. If you are worried about yourself, you have a right to go and "get help" or whatever you need to do. Even without parental support, there are places you can go to... online I'm sure a quick google search could provide some helplines, and of course there are things like kids help phone, and school guidance counselors that are pretty much there to refer you to where you need/ would like to be referred.
This isn't really to say you are full out "depressed". I would still recommend you "get help" though this doesn't actually work at all unless you fight whatever crap and sadness you need to fight on your own. It's hard and it sucks but it's like your own personal challenge - and everyone's got one. This is yours to fight, ultimately. From the sounds of it maybe all you need is to call some people, or email facebook whatever them. If you are feelings depressed it's tough because you won't want to do anything. You've got to beat that, maybe with a deep breath and a nike "just do it" attitude. I mean maybe if you're sad and lonely at the same time being a little less lonely would help the sad, no? Once school starts you'll be less bored and see people a little more, which may help. Just make sure that when you're traveling through life that you stay connected to people because it does help in making you feel happier.
Another thing you could try is to find a passion, any passion. I'm sure you have one. And once you find it try to fit in an hour a day to work on it. Maybe it's writing. Maybe it's art. Just pick something that lets the feelings out, or cry till you can't anymore. I guarantee you'll feel better. Loud music helps.
Still something else to try is excersize. If you do feel crappy it's the hardest thing to get your butt off of whatever you're sitting on and to move. But think of this - excersize produces endorphins, and those make you happy. Ok, I take back my previous statement; some things can create happiness. And besides, what's easier, feeling miserable all of the time or getting over that dread of movement and running or dancing or taking boxing lessons every once and a while?
One final thing. You have outbursts of happiness. You can't be too bad off. IF you were you'd have given up completely, but already you are trying to find some help. OF course being depressed is ridiculous but so is life and both are very real and while your parents may not see it, thank God you do. There is so much hope for you, no matter how hopeless you feel, because you are speaking out here in a mature way and asking for help, wanting to change. And while whatever you feel now can feel like an eternity if you truly want to get better you will, and with some luck you'll be looking back on this a year from now (or whenever) and go "what the hell was that?"
As for what you are living for. I'm not sure. Life is like that - it is what you make of it. It's huge and full of billions of possibilities that are in no way confined to how you feel in the present and that are entirely about what you do with each moment each day starting with right now. If you have the drive you can do anything. So pick up the phone or go online right now and get help; it's your life, not that of your parents. And the rest just take it one day at a time, happy moments, sad moments. Call some people. Try to figure out what it is that makes you crazy happy sometimes and figure out how you can cope through the other times. I believe that what makes people happy is an insanely complex and individual question that perhaps only you can answer for yourself.
okay so last night i saw my friend that i haven't seen in a month. i've become very close to him and we can basically tell each other everything and we do. well last night we were watching a movie with some of our other friends and we kissed. he kept kissing my cheek and then i'd kiss his and then he'd kiss close to my lips so the next time i'd just kiss him on the lips. at first he didn't really do anything but then he kissed me back. we always cuddle and like he does cute stuff when we hang out just like holds me when we're standing and stuff. and also when he was away he would hint at like kissing me when i he came home and afterwards he texted me asking if i had fun and i said yep you? and he said he had fun. but like he hasn't really texted me too much today. how do i find out if it was okay or if it was awkward for him. i'm nervous to just ask so what are ways to bring up the conversation?
It's best to bring up the conversation casually if both of you are a bit shy of the topic. It sounds like he was trying to bring up the topic by saying "it was fun" ... you could reciprocate by saying "I liked the movie" if you don't want anything to go further... or you could say "I liked the movie. I also like the other parts of the (afternoon/ evening)" and then it's his cue to say "me too".
Was the hinting at kissing before or after the kiss? If it was after, most likely he has been trying, quite hard, to bring it up. I guess, before you say anything, you have to figure out how you feel about this whole situation. You already have some sort of unsaid thing going on between you, and if you want anything to happen, if you want to be his girlfriend or WHATEVER you want, all you really have to do is say all that is currently unsaid.
On bringing up the conversation, remember the things he said to start the conversation/ things that could potentially start it. Or, if feel ready to tell him you like him, I'd do so. Another approach is to just let things keep happening. Ask him out subtly or not so subtly... asking a guy alone to the movies is pretty much a ticket with "I like you" written on it. You don't really need a formal formal conversation as long as you have some way of telling him how you feel and some way to allow him to reciprocate. Sounds like, in a lot of ways, that kiss was just that.
hey
15/f
I wanna start off by saying that I dont want to sound stuck up or into myself or anything.
Anyway, I havnt had my first kiss yet. Im not prude. Alot of guys like me and think im hot, something just usually goes wrong before I kiss them. I've done other stuff, just not kissing. Is this really lame?
Also
When I do have my first kiss, I want it to seem like I know what im doing. Can I do this through just being confident or should I practice or something....? Also are first kisses really that important? Or should I just get it over with so I have some experience for someone I do really really like
No, it's not lame that you haven't kissed yet. There are actually tons of people your age who haven't been kissed, just most don't project it openly, you know "I just got kissed" sounds a lot more exciting than "I wasn't kissed, today.." . But anyway, you shouldn't just kiss someone to be able to check that off on your life checklist or whatever (I think that's lame, and it says something about you that you didn't.
Which brings me to my next point. Your first kiss is what you make of it. There are people that got it in kindergarten by someone they didn't like and I'm not sure that really counts, and people that got it later on with someone that never cared or was doing it for the heck of it. However, whether you like it or not, a kiss establishes something between two people. It's not conscious; it's completely biological. And the first time you kiss is the only time you'll really be as completely terrified and unsure and surprised when it does happen. Like a new discovery that's scary but eye opening at the same time. After that, kisses won't be as big a deal.
My personal opinion is that you should wait for someone you care about. Getting it over with sends completely the wrong message, and you could end up developing feelings for a guy you don't actually want to like, or he could actually have feelings for you and then he'll feel used and you'll be guilty for being the user. Kissing could become something casual for you, and could mess you up a bit psychologically so you lose your criteria for who you'll kiss. In my opinion, you should kiss someone who you've already established something with. That way it'll still be a bit deal for you, the first kiss you guys share, and you'll stay grounded about your kissing "values". He'll likely be a lot more sensitive and you'll likely enjoy it a lot more. If it's your first of anything you'll most likely remember it for a looong time, so you might as well make it something you'll remember for the right reasons.
Confidence is probably all you'll really need for your first time, that and being aware of what your partner is doing (you could try mirroring his actions if you ever get stuck... for future reference). To practice, what works best is if you make a loose fist... it's oddly similar to a pair of lips when you kiss where the small gap is. Go on being yourself, and when the right guy comes along you'll know it.
how can i help her she got a new boyfriend who i know my friend bout drugs from him but hes quit they say but she keeps sneking out and drinking with him im her best friend but she dosent listen 2 me how can i help her if she dosen tchange soon il proboly quit talking 2 her cause iv been down that rode and im lucky i got off of it
If she is your best friend then she'll probably listen to you and respect what you have to say, but then again, maybe she won't. She is, after all, her own person, and isn't going to make a decision based on what you think is right; she's going to make a decision on what she thinks is right. Because you guys are good friends, you probably have one of the greatest chances of convincing her that her actions aren't good for her, so don't give up just yet. Try telling your story about your own experiences down that road, as you put it; it'll mean more if you speak from personal experience.
If she doesn't listen, I wouldn't break contact with her. Continue being her friend, hard as it may be. There are so many people who do drink and sneak around to do so, whole crowds that she'll probably start to get initiated into. There's a much greater chance that she won't lose herself completely if there are people like you that she is friends with.
If it helps, think back to your own experience, what helped you get out? Whatever it is may help with your friend. Sadly all this is pretty common, and ultimately there may not be much you can do except be there for her in general as a friend.
Everytime I'm with my boyfriend we make out, h.j's, b.j's, fingering.. like all of that stuff... we do it like alotttt. atleast 4 times every time we're together.. so like, 4 times in 5 hours. But do you think he's using me? like I feel like he always wants to do stuff!
what do you think!?
There is this whole stereotype of girls and boys that would claim that any guy that always wants some must be using the girl he gets it from... but honestly, what do YOU think? There's no way you should ever put out if you don't feel like it, but if you are perfectly happy with the situation you are in and enjoy giving everything as much as he does, he's not using you.
Since you asked a general opinion, I do personally believe that a relationship should be based on more than just the physical sides of things, bjs, hjs, making out. If you want more than just this, and you feel like this is all he ever feels like doing, consider talking to your bf. You could say something like, you really care about him, and want to get to know him more as a person and talk more. Or you could go somewhere, the two of you in public, where you may still make out but there would be less physicalness going on in general. However, if you are fine with everything and don't feel like you've been compromising yourself, there's no need to assume you're being used just because of a stereotype.
What are some good happy love songs? Like, not breakup songs.
Something like:
Hey There Delilah by plain white t's
stolen by dashboard confessional.
you know?
Take me away - lifehouse
you and me - lifehouse
all I can do - chantal kreviazuk
these words - natasha bedingfield
collide - howie day
then slowly grows (come to me) - bethany joy lenz
run - snow patrol
the blower's daughter - Damien Rice
question - rhett miller
Well, I sent a boy who lives in Florida who I've been in love with since I was 3 a letter that was asking if he had feelings for me. He did at one point but I wanted to know if he still did. Then I wrote I'm going to be honest I still have strong feelings for you. It's been 3 days and he still hasnt emailed me back. Is it safe to say he is ignoring me? HELP!!!!!!!!! I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!
A letter or an email? I'm assuming you sent an email, but it it's a letter it may not have reached him yet. In any case, the reason he hasn't responded is probably because he is unsure of what to say. I'm guessing you guys live far apart, and that creates two problems. The first is that he is unsure of what to do, and if he does have feelings for you, you live far apart so that could be a big deal, admitting you guys like each other and having to deal with the distance. The second thing that could be happening is that he may (don't want to jump to conclusions but it is possible) have a girl back where he is. Either that or he is just plain unsure of things and or confused about his own feelings. Admitting you like someone up front and out of the blue is a lot of confrontation for some people. It's rare that people flat out ignore other people so I wouldn't go straight to that. And plus, not everyone checks their email that often; who knows maybe he's in summer camp? There are so many different things that could be going on. It might be safer to get to know how he's doing and for him to get to know you better before dropping the bombshell, so to speak. Still, it's admirable that you were brave enough to tell him this. I guess all you can do is keep waiting... good luck!
we've been dating for almost 7 months now, and like he's away at camp so i havent seen him for a week and a half. but i realized something i DONT miss him? but i should hsould'nt i if we've been dating 6+?
what should i do, maybe its a sign i fell out of love with him.
help.
I think you're reading too much into this. It's only a week and a half, and if you've seen him for that long you've probably gotten past the stage where you NEED to see him everyday. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't love him. Likely you have your own life, own ambitions, own things you are working on and you can survive without him, which is a good thing. Don't sweat it and keep enjoying your summer.
i've had two guys like me this year. i've been telling myself i want a boyfriend and i know i do. i've been single for a year and a half with one sexual relationship in between. so whenever these guys tell me they like me i'll like them for a day or two and then find some reason why it wouldn't work out and then i push them away. i won't even be friends with them. what the heck is my problem? if i want a guy, and i can get a guy, then why can't i accept what's given to me?
Hey, it's not bad to reject a guy if you don't like them. Just because you're "given" a guy who likes you doesn't mean you should like them back, and the fact that you don't like guys solely because they like you really is a good thing.
What happens happens. It's perfectly normal and not a bad thing to be not ready to go into a particular relationship, or even if the reason for not having a bf is because you're afraid- that's not bad either. It means that you take a relationship seriously. I think everyone's a little scared of a real relationship. But when that someone comes along that you truly like, it will overpower the fear/ whatever is stopping you. For this reason I believe you should give it time and wait till you truly like someone/ something develops naturally. Don't make having a boyfriend a goal, since there are so many other things in life you could be focusing on.
That said, I think you should look into/ think about why you don't want guy friends. It's not necessary or anything to have them, but on the whole it makes the whole relationship thing easier if you can also see guys as friends as well as boyfriends... and sexual partners (that "sexual relationship" wasn't harmful in any way, was it?). Don't think about everything so seriously. Like if you think to yourself "I want a boyfriend" and start assessing all guys as relationship material it puts some strain on getting to know them, doesn't it? Just try to enjoy company with the people around you, male and female, and focus on some personal goal of yours, you know, to boost your confidence, and something will come along naturally (plus you'll be so much less desperate and sooo much more attractive that way).