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Well I'm not sure about this. Any advice?
okay so I'm sure you have in your life have found someone you really like but you're too slow to make a move and ask. WEll I really like this guy but I'm only a freshmen and he's a junior so there's a BIG age diff. there. Anyways I really like him but I dont think it will ever work out even if he does like me back. I just want to find true love. And I also want him to like me but i'm too scared to know. I mean if he doesnt like me then I'll be in a depressive stage for a long time. And if he does how will it work out? He would never get to see me not unless he picks me up. I live like forever away. He lives in a diff county thats an hour away. Plus we go to diff schools. My 1st question is should I ask him if he really likes me? Because my mom always told me that guys chase after you, you dont run for them. BuT i'm really sick of wondering if he wants me. Its a horrible thing. My 2nd question is if I do fall in love does this mean things like seeing each other will happen naturally or is that a lie. Because If he likes me and we start going out then I'm gonna have to see him. Thats the way it is. I'm not real sure abou him he might break my heart. so idk.
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First of all, calm down. Second...
An hour is not far, if both of you met between both your houses that's only half an hour between you - the subway system, learn to love it (or the bus system. Or whoever can give you a lift). Two years is not a big age difference; there are plenty of couples that live farther away and that have much larger age differences that work out. This really could work out but you should keep a cooler head if you want him to like you back.
I mean this in the nicest way. I don't think anyone likes to be chased. I mean, honestly, most people would be really freaked out if someone they did not know well came up to them all like "OMIGOD I like you! Do you like me too?" They wouldn't really know what to do. They might be a little stunned, and there would be so much pressure for them to like you back that they would run away on you to avoid it. The best way to start something is to let the person know that you like them by showing it, subtly, without them really knowing what's going on and without you putting much pressure on them to like you back. Your mom isn't necessarily right that the best way for relationships to work is for guys to chase girls - this is a little sexist. It works best, I find, when there is something mutual between the two people, when they get to know each other gradually at first. For example, you could add him on some sort of online device. This is very casual. You can even start a conversation without sounding obsessive or stalkerish, which is the worst thing, because everyone starts conversations with everyone online. Once you've started talking you can start to see if he is really your type, as well; I mean, for now, how do you know if you like him if you haven't really gotten to know him? Once you've done a little of that, you could invite him somewhere with a bunch of other people, or just invite him out casually ei. it's a nice day want to go to the park? or it's my friends birthday and I want to bake her cookies want to help me? (if it's at your house or his make sure a parent is home so he doesn't get the wrong idea). It might be best to get to know him semi-well before you do any of the inviting if he lives an hour away. Now back to the guy chasing thing. He probably isn't crazy in love with you if he isn't initiating anything, but who says you can't go after a guy? The trick is you can't seem overly obviously obsessed or he will be freaked out, and I wouldn't tell him straight up you like him until you've had a few casual get togethers. Don't tell them they are dates at first unless you are sure he likes you back. Make them friendly so it's casual casual casual because then you'll have more chances of getting him to like you back.
That said, remember to tease him a little. Let him know you are open and available, but not desperate.
To answer your second question, people usually fall in love after they have been seeing each other for a while. It doesn't happen before with no effort as two people start easily seeing each other. Nothing really happens naturally; if you want something you have to go for it and work for it (just not look like you are, does this make sense?). And yes, when people become attached to other people, they could get hurt. But on the other hand if we as a population never took chances on important things and failed sometimes, then we'd all never know anything; we'd never know love. It may be hard liking this guy who goes to a different school and who lives in a different county, but if like him enough to go for it then don't give up.
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Alright- first you're making a few assumptions that I just want to clear up for the sake of answering.
1. Two years apart is NOTHING. Its not a big age difference 15 and 17 aren't far apart compared to 15 and 30. That is a big age difference.
2. Just because you're going out with someone doesn't mean you have to see them. Sure, its nice, but if you live too far away, then you don't have to see each other all the time, which is what you make it sound like. There aren't any rules for relationships set in stone. You don't HAVE to do anything. Go by your own plan =D.
Alright- so I think that any time that you like someone and you think they may like you back or whatever the case- I think you should tell them. So they don't like you back- well that could happen- but what if everyone was this afraid to tell other people that they like them? Well first off- most of us wouldn't be alive, and the world would be less crowded. You have to take chances when it comes to relationships. Think of it this way- if no one took a chance ever, we would all be in our houses, with the lights turned off, in the corner, with the blinds down- hiding from the rest of the world. We obviously aren't doing that- so you should take a chance and tell him, no matter his age.
Well- you live an hour away. Sure, it might be tough to see each other a lot, but relationships can still last no matter how far apart you live. My sister's boyfriend just moved back to Tennessee [I live in Michigan- so that's about 10 hours] for college- and they won't see each other for 2 months. They have been dating for over a year now, and even with him in college in another state, they have kept their relationship intact. It just takes effort from both parties. If both of you are willing- it is defintely worth the shot. After a few weeks or months of not seeing each other- when you finally do see each other- its all the more better =D.
Oh- and about the true love thing. You're young. You're only 14/15 and you're wanting true love? Trust me, if this relationship doesn't work out- many more will be thrown at you- and one day you will find that special person you really care about. Remember: Don't go looking for love- let love go looking for you.
That's my words of wisdom, and I'm sticking to them.
--Jack
(15/m)
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