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To be liked better
There's this guy who I've been friends with since like 7th grade, Ben. and i dunno. whenever me&ben have a fight it seems like he doesnt care that i wouldnt be his friend anymore.like im not mportant enough. but its not only that way with ben. its that way with it seems like, everybody...does anybody have any tips on how to get people to WANT to be your friend or like...to have people like you better? i know its not really a question i can just get an answer easily from but hey its worth a try!
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Well, first of all, don't rule out the possibility that you're being paranoid. It could be that the reason why your friends aren't so worried about you staying friends after you have a fight is because they know one fight wouldn't end a friendship. Let's face it, friendships ended through one fight aren't very strong (either that or it was one hell of a fight).
Generally, to be liked, people like it when other people are interested in them. Just as you have a strong desire to be liked, everyone else also has a similar strong desire. If you show that you like other people, they will generally like you back (as long as you don't go stalker and overboard, but you get the idea). Different people have different comfort levels in this area, so just do what feels okay for you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the next time you see someone sitting all alone, and you aren't really talking to anyone, you could appear interested in that person... like when school starts you could say hi, and ask the person about their classes, or something like that. If I personally was all alone, perhaps feeling lonely and or sad, someone I didn't really know talking to me would make me feel liked and I wouldn't help but like that person. The second thing people like is people that like themselves. Once again, just like you wouldn't stalk and interrogate people, going overboard with this one isn't good either; you don't want to be one of those people that thinks they are God. Some confidence, however, is good. Hold your head high when you enter a room and look like you know what you're doing. Even if you feel insecure that day, or like you're clothes don't match, tell yourself you are a style diva and that you are clearly one of the most awesome people there. If you look like the type of person who is confident enough to carry out a conversation people will naturally want to talk to you, and the energy that you are giving off by being confident will energize the people around you. Another thing - so simple but necessary, is to smile and look interesting. It sortof goes with the whole confidence thing. IF you tell yourself that you are an interesting person who is going places, other people will believe it. If you smile at someone you may not necessarily know, you are giving them a small gift of that smile, as well as an invitation. You are telling that person that it's okay to talk to you and you instantly make yourself that much more approachable.
Finally, you must care about things other than being liked. This is something that you can only find inside yourself, but it's your reason for being, and although you won't easily find all of it, by recognizing the bits and pieces that make you YOU you can be really, truly comfortable in your own skin. Being comfortable with yourself and caring of the world around you - that's all you really need to feel liked. But while you think of being more "liked" than you are don't forget the people right now that appreciate you for you; the last thing to remember is not to take these people for granted.
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