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i always feel terrible about myself i draw pictures that make me look huge and like i feel like im a waste, iv been hospitalized 3 times and i dont know what to do ;[ (link)

NEW INFO: I couldn't find a way to send something to your mailbox on here from the screen where I read your feedback. The new information you gave me was just what I needed as I know now how to attempt to keep you out of the hospital as I've been in for similar things as you have.

Bottom line: You can live, healthy, happily and be productive and free of what you are dealing with now. It sounds as though your medication levels are way off or something isn't working. I have a lot of tips for you or anyone else who reads this. Just send me a PM to my box.

Thanx

MY ORIGINAL ANSWER SO IT CAN HELP OTHERS:

I would like to know what you were hospitalized with and how long? I take it this may have been because of a pre-existing mental illness and relapse.

Regardless, if you are having these thoughts and drawing these pictures you need help from your family and to talk to your doctors again.



Something isn't right here and you know that. Tell your doctor as it may be as simple as increasing the dosage on anti-depressants or another drug he/she has you on.

You have to tell the truth here and must realize by doing so it doesn't mean you'll be hospitalized but you will be made well again.

I think your problem is your blood levels for your medication are all off. Have a level check done as you may be experiencing serious problems with in correct dosages of medicine and it may not be taking correct effect as a result. You need to see your doctor and most certainly check your blood.

The fact is honey, if you arent telling your family about these thoughts, why you are having them, thinking them or drawing those pictures you're causing harm to yourself. Why? keeping this stuff to yourself can risk your health further and that can lead you back to a hospital.

Any time you feel something is wrong that releates to your mental health no matter how trivial tell your doctor. It keeps you stable and 100% in the clear. I was hospitalized twice and know that keeping secrets or resenting people including your doctor can land you straight back into the hospital.

So, please do tell your doctor and parents about all of this. You owe it to them and most importantly yourself.


i've been going out with this adorable junior for 4 months now. at first, i never thought it would work out because im the freshman girl who is shy and has never been with a guy before. but since the first time we met he took my heart. things have been going great, but im afraid he dedicated himself too much to me?

To me, it just doesn't seem right. He's Mr. Popular, quarter back of the football team and like abercrombie model looks; and im just the freshman girl. we've gone as far as oral but in the past month i've really wanted to have sex with him. i ask him all the time about it but he said he doesnt want to. (He already had sex before by the way.) He said he doesn't want to take the thing away from me that is most precious unless i love him.

You dont understand though, like i WANT to have sex with him so bad, but he doesn't want to take it away from me at such a young age unless im sure i love him. He tells me he loves me but it's hard for me to say "i love you" back and really mean it.

Does he not like me anymore? It's just he's so nice and i know for a fact he never cheated on me before or is seeing another girl. Should i drop the whole sex subject?! PLEASE HELP! (link)

I have a feeling that he might be afraid of disappointing you or more than likely physically hurting you. He may be afraid of being with someone who hasn't sex before and his physical strength and build as a football player.

There's some kind of hang up here that he has with sex and it likely doesn't have anything to do with you. Maybe his other experience was lousy and or scared him feel inadequate sexually. I don't know but he probably thinks something like she's going to be so disapointed, this was her first time and she built it up to be like this or that etc.

What you need to do is communicate with him. After all if you are ever to have sex with eachother you need to communicate and tell the truth about your concerns, wants, desires.

You need to tell him that you are ready and totally want to be with him and have no expectations about how things will be. Tell him that you know he has been hiding his true reasons for not wanting to have sex and no matter the reason you need the truth because the age thing as we both know is BS as he's been with other girls.

I hate to mention it as even a possibility but is it possible he might not be into girls sexually? Could this be his secret as he may be a football player with a ton of people expecting him to be this macho male and he's hiding the truth? How comfortable was he with other sexual things you did?

Ask him the truth as you need full disclosure if you are going to be his girlfriend about what's troubling him. Then after that, just drop the issue and let him come around to talking with you and letting you know if he's ready or not.


i'm about to tell someone something i'm sortof nervous. how can i relax while staying in this room? (link)

You never told us just what it is you were trying to tell someone. At any rate just tell the truth and let it out. It's okay if you are nervous but once you just blurt it all out without even thinking about the words or reaction you will be fine.

Trust me, whatever it is you have say will make you feel a hell of a lot better for saying it right after. Take a deep breath, close your eyes if you need to and just let it out.

I hate to sound crude but it's like tossing your biscuits. Nobody likes doing it and are nervous, upset, etc and cannot relax trying to keep it from coming out. Until they realize they have to release it they're going to feel as physically awful or unrelaxed as you do right now.

Just let whatever bombshell you have to drop on out by blurting it. Whatever happens as result happens but at least you will have the truth out.


I am on dance team at my school. Right now we have a very low amount of money in our account and we can't afford to do something we really wanted to. What are some good ways to raise money?

We already did a bake sale and didn't make much, and we're not allowed to do a car wash. (link)

I think your principal's concern over a carwash may have to do with adults coming in touch with teenage girls dressed in clothing that could become wet and look see-through as there are sick people out there into this crap.

If that's his concern he has a darn good point and is protecting your welfare as parents and school council would have valid reasons to block the idea.

What else can you do? Have you approached your principal about fundraising ideas they have used/implemented in the past? You ought to talk to him/her about those fundraising chocolate bars and whatnot that rake in a lot of money if the whole school pitches in to sell them.

Another idea would be to take your dance team talents and put on a variety show for the adults with various numbers, skits, etc and get the school involved in contributing their talents and charge a pay what you can admission at the door and do 3-4 shows at school at night.

The other thing you can do is have your principal talk to comedy clubs (find a comic with a clean act) or places like Murder Mystery nights or Second City who do fundraising events where you can either send adults to a show for a certain price or have them or teens entertained at the school by having a "clean" act and then charge a certain amount and make money that way.

Try organizing school dances too where a small donation is paid to participate. Also ask your principal about staging one dance where proper lighting and a DJ is paid for but nobody can attend without paying $5-10 dollars towards whatever.



I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 20. (I'm a girl by the way)We've been together for about 4 1/2 months and I love him so much. I think i'm ready to take the next step with him, and by that I mean sex. I'm a virgin still and he knows that, so he's never pressured me into doing anything with him I wasn't ready for. He's been really sweet and understanding.However I can also tell it's hard for him. I'm kind of the first girl he's really commited to, he used to be ...I don't know how to put it, a player. Although he never pressures me to have sex with him I can tell he's been getting kind of frustrated. I mean when things get to intimate (I'll put it that way) I'll just stop so things don't escalate further than I want to go. I want to take the next step with him but i'm scared, for more than one reason. I'm scared that he'll compare me to other girls or leave me for someone more experianced if I do. He's been with tons of girls. I'v had 4 or 5 boyfriends, but I never once thought of having sex with them. It wasn't serious enough. I'm afraid that the morning after things will be wierd and akward, and i'm also scared that it will hurt. How much does it hurt when you first have sex? Should I talk to him. Is 4 months to soon to be thinking about sleeping with another person. I'm really confused on what to do here if you can't already tell. Please help! (link)

If he has not left you already and has showed no signs of wanting to qoute "play the field" and or cheat than you have no problem. If he really loves you no matter what happens when/if you decide to have sex with him for the first time he will still love you afterwards.

I think there's no fear of him ever leaving over that as one can always improve sexually over time and he loves you. You need to communicate to him though about your fears and be honest with him what you are afraid of before deciding to go ahead with it. If you are unsure of anything wait as that's the sensible thing to do.

He may be a little frustrated about waiting but you need not worry about that. It's all about YOU and what you can handle and not him.

Sex can hurt if you are not properly lubricated. Mostly, pain can come if your hymen has not been stretched either through tampon use or masturbation. If you are not lubricated it goes without saying that the friction from thrusting will hurt. You can get artificial lubricants to help there.

As far as only being together for four months goes it's not about the length of time but about whether you feel ready and are with the right person and will not regret this later on. It's only too early if you feel it is and that you don't think such an intimate connection exists yet.

Bottom line: if you have any doubts in your head at all don't have sex as you still aren't 100% solid on whether you should be doing it. When you feel that way still having sex will seem meaningless afterwards.


I'm really bored.I like to try new things and start fun projects like combining archietecture,photoghraphy and sculpture into a single art work.I just want to have fun.Please could you think of something fun for me to do.Any suggestions are appreciated. (link)


Have you ever thought of creating your own (serious) business and get a business license so you can sell your work through home? You could start offering to take photos of people's weddings or events for a low price, sell masks, sculptures, artwork etc on Ebay or online. It's worked out for people I know.

If there's a local art gallery in your city or town go visit them if you need advice on how to sell your work. They may also have classes you can join or may need someone to help teach kid's/adult classes as an assistant. Look for an internship possibility too as you never know, they may need student tour guides or volunteers

If you love architecture you ought to try your hand at set design. There has to be a community theatre group either for youth or adults that will let you join and could use your skills to design sets for plays.

Community theatre groups also use photographers to take publicity photos for their archives and for the local papers. They also need people skilled in photography and art (graphics etc) to design programs and take headshots of the actors, director for display in the lobby. See what you can do with that.


im not an A student or a straight B student or an A and B student. Im like a one B the rest C's and maybe one D here and there on the report card. I want to go to college, and get a good job. How are my chances?? I'm a freshmen and I have really started trying this 3rd marking period to possibly get all B's and maybe 2 C's. My question is really what are my chances of getting into a good college?? Thanks (link)


It's freshman year and there's time to turn things around now. You need to relax first of all. Next, you shoud talk to your instructors about why you got the grades you did on your report card. Take the advice they give you and apply it to do much better.

Most students make the incredibly bad mistake of getting angry at an instructor over a grade rather than reading the comments on a report card, a paer you wrote etc and using those notes to improve and excell.

Next, get yourself a tutor for the subjects you are not doing well in as that will pay off for you in the long run. If you cannot find a tutor ask a friend that knows what they are doing and form a study group if need be or pay them to help you learn the material you are having trouble with.

Next, do you have a learning problem of any type? If you are not sure get tested as it could be affecting your ability to concentrate, learn and grasp certain things you are studying. In that case you can get extra help in your courses etc.

I would talk to your parents and approach your teachers and principals about all of this and your difficulty to perform at the rate you want to but are struggle with. Let the adults figure things out for/with you and I'm sure you'll be fine in the future.

You've taken two correct steps here to making the situation better. Number 1 you saw your marks and saw the problem number 2 you want to fix it to enhance your ability to get into college. The third is talking to adults and working on the problem areas.

When it comes to college they do indeed look at all your marks. However, they are more concerned about your marks in courses that you would need to have done well in to get into a certain program. For example if you applied for journalism they want to see you can write and got As or Bs in English and really won't care about your D in chemistry unless Ds, Es, etc show up rather consistantly on a transcript.

There's nothing wrong with a C as it means you are at the average percentile. Don't beat yourself up too much right now but do be smart and approach the adults whop can help you out.


Okay while making out with my boyfriend it was getting intense and he was moving his hands around so i grabbed it and put it on one my by breasts. and he squeezed it and what not.

but then later i tried to give him the hint to actually put it up my shirt. i even took his hand and put it halfway up. but then he just rubbed around my back and took his hands back down.

it just confuses me cuz he's fine with putting his hands in my pants and everything but he doesnt seem to want to go up my shirt. maybe hes nervous. i don't know.any suggestions or comments? thanks. (link)

Although it would be an awkward thing to do why not ask him the truth on why he wouldn't do this last time and would tuch you in other places? It would be best to have a talk together and find out if he's nervous or has a particular hangup about it.

There's really no other way to figure out why he stopped short of doing this and can touch you below the waist ith no problem.

Let him know it's okay and that you want him to feel comfortable touching you and that you will tell him when he's about to cross a boundary with what you are ready for.

I think that's the problem--he's not ready for this and has a different set of boundaries set up than you might about sex or sexual touching. I dunno what else to recommend.

Perhaps if you wind up together in such a situation again where you are fooling around tell him "It's okay to touch me there" or something along those lines and see if that takes care of the situation. This has nothing I'm sure with how you look physically or anything like that.

You just have a guy who is unsure of himself here. Just tell him to relax and guide him to do the things you want him to that are mutually pleasurable and A-okay as far as your agreement on boundaries are. Actually, you need to define for him the boundaries and what you think is safe and what isn't. Maybe he'd ease up then with touching your chest area and going up a shirt.


is it possible for a 12 year old to get a cancer tumor or cancer lump or something
because my little sister keeps worrying and teliing me she has these weird bumps,around her privet area near the leg and one on her butt..
weird i know im sorry but im just wondering and she says they arent little dot bumps they like feel weird
any idea what it is
thanks
kendra (link)

I don't know if she has shown you or your mother (or other trusted adult female) the bumps in question to see if they are normal. Pimples can appear just about anywhere including near one's vagina or vulva, different skin tones from the rest of your skin (especially on the gentials) are common if she's noticed a difference in texture and color.

The bump around her rectum leads me to think she doesn't clean herself well after using the toilet or taking a shower. The best thing to do is tell a trusted female adult (mother, aunt, grandma) about the bumps and get her to show them where they are. You can do this for her if she is more comfortable that way.

Then if you determine they are not normal pimples, or signs of an infection tell your parents and have her see her family doctor or a gynaecologist for a diagnoses.

I'm pretty sure it's not cancer or anything that will kill her. She would be in a lot of pain and needing medical assistance if they were tumours that are that size already. Don't allow her to go there and think that. Instead have her see a doctor as I'm sure this is not unusual and might be pimples or an infection.

The other thing you need to check out is if she has started to wear brand new underwear ie: a thong etc. that might be causing a reaction such as redness, sores, pimples because the fabric doesn't agree with her.

Also, does she use bubble bath or has recently and doesn't use it normally? This can cause skin irritation especially if she washes her gentials and bottom with it. That could be one culprit.

Also semen and vaginal secretions are acidic (I know semen is not totally 100% sure about vaginal secretions). If she masturbates and doesn't clean around her vulva sores and redness, irritation could develop much like they do with males who are not in the habit of cleaning themselves and bathing regularly.

I should also ask you if she is using different types of tampons or menstrual pads she hasn't used before that may be irritating her or be cause of a reaction of some kind. Just a thought as it could be a cause too I would have to think.




I"m seriously doubting anyone can help me with my problems but here goes anyway. I have a daughter that just turned 18. She is so lost, she has given me problems since she was 11, well now shes 18 and her life consists of black men,crack and sleeping with as many as she can. She was recently disgnosed with a veneral disease and confessed to her oldest sister that she may of slept with a man who was HIV. She is a leading influence on her 13 yr. old sister who is following in her path as hard as she can. I"ve had to get the law to look the 13 yr. old twice this week. She is failing school and I can't reach her. She and her sister are so full of hate towards me, I;ve been called so many foul names, I can't take much more. I'm thinking of sending the 13 yr.old to boot camp. I tried to send my 18 yr. old last year, but they called me to come and get her because she was threating staff. I am a decent person, I dont drink, smoke, I work hard, I feel like its my fault, they are this way. I so depressed, I think it would be better to be dead sometimes, if I didnt have to keep watch on my 82 yr. old father, I saw a therapist once ,but they cost to much. what do I do? (link)

Your 11-year-old really needs a spanking and to be taught how to respect her mother. I think some theraphy sessions or better yet a psychiatrist is needed to get her life in order and turned around before she becomes like her sister.

This kid needs an outlet to vent and talking to a psychiatrist will do that. This person can point out to her that she's on a collisson course with disaster but still has the power to change her life unlike her sister. She needs to see where her sister's behavior will lead her.

I don't know if the police will still do this for concerned parents but maybe you can have her tour a police station, country jail, court house and have people within the judicail system and police giv e her a tour and sit down and explain what happens to people like her sister or herself if they continue this lifestyle.

I hate to say this as I know how hard it is to turn your back on your own child but you need to cut your 18-year-old lose, stop supporting her financially and don't let her live with you anymore.

Insist she become a responsible adult and get off drugs or you, her sister, nor father will not speak to her again or consider her to be part of your family until she does so.

Point out you're 11-year-old is forbidden to interact with her as well. Stay firm to this and let her learn lessons as I'm sure she will be forced to turn her life around before she hits rock bottom if her family doesn't want her around until she cleans up.

If for any reason you feel her actions could lead to death or this strategy will not work get the family together and stage an emergency intervention after you have found a facility to take her in that are not intimidated by her and will put a stop to threats and lashing out. She needs it.

If nothing works with the 11-year-old keep calling boot-camps etc until you find one that can handle her and know how to difuse her behaviour, threats, acting out and being violent.

Good luck!


Do all Dell computers have paint? if so, where is it? (link)

I'm not sure if the new ones do but it was standard on the old ones. Hit your start menu and look under acessories as that's where it usually is grouped with the free card games, chess etc. they always put there.


Okay, so I'm a 14 year old female. There's this guy in one of my classes, and he's a junior. Since the beginning of the year, he has always paid "special attention" to me, like teasing me and stuff. I even recall a while back in October-ish, I was walking in the hallway afterschool, l and he was with his friend, and he stopped to talk to me for no reason at all. Back then, I thought he was kinda hot but never seriously considered him as a potential bf because a guy 2 years older than me having a crush on ME? The notion was impossible.

But as time went on I noticed more and more hints being dropped by him..for example, he always holds open doors for me and makes a huge scene of it "HERE, [myname], LADIES FIRST!". And when any of his friends try to talk to me, he instantly turns and stares at me. Whenever I talk to HIM, he stares right at me and gves me this huge grin.

Now, he's always like looking at me in class, especially when I talk to any guys. But I don't know if I'm just imagining the signs or if he teases me just to look cool in front of his friends. Or maybe he's just a friendly guy.

Oh, let me add some more details about us, I guess. I gave him a present over christmas break (it was just a card lol) and he seemed to really like it, he had this big smile on his face. And he's always telling me how nice I look. Also, I'm the girl he talks most to in class (this isn't much though, because there arent a lot of other girls in the class and all the girls are freshmen) I expect HIM to tell ME if he likes me or not, because he's a junior, and if I say no to him (which I wouldnt), it shouldnt be a big blow to his ego. But he keeps on dropping hints that he likes me as something..more. That's where I'm getting confused. Luckily there's a winter formal coming up on the 9th that he can ask me to AND valentine's day 5 days later. Think I should ask him to the dance?

oh and there was also this time in December, when we had free time in class and him and his friends were talking about THE basketball game of the season, and suddenly the guy turned to me and asked me if I was going. I told him I wasn't, and he asked, "why not?" Of course, me being STUPID and MISSING the hint, I said "i'm kinda busy," when I really wasn't (i was completely and totally free!!), because I was embarassed at being singled out like that. If i were smart i would've said "no, because I can't get a ride". and he mightve invited me to come. sorry it's so long T_T (link)

Bottom line:

It's obvious he likes you and is looking for you to "GET IT" and tell him what you think. He's been pretty patient too finding ways to get your attention when most guys would have long given up on you for not making a move. Invite him to the dance as I'm sure he will go.

If he accepts your invitation go ahead and use that time together at the dance to discuss a possible relationship. In the event he cannot go because you waited too late to ask just ask him straight up and with confidence if he likes you or not as you are getting mixed signals from him. Then you'll know where things stand.


(this is a question i would like guys to answer) what do you look for in a girl? and what makes them stand out to you? thank you in advance. Please tell the truth, not just the good thing, like her smile. (unless thats really what you do like) (link)

The problem with this type of question is that each guy looks for something different in a girl. Contrary to popular belief a lot of guys want a girl who is smart, sensitive, caring and not someone who is thin as a rake and resembles a super-star with large breasts.

A girl does not need to be a beauty-queen, popular or ultra-attractive to have us interested in her. What any girl needs to do is be herself, honest, independent and although you may laugh at this not someone who throws tantrums, has meltdowns, and is ultra-jealous, suspicious and snarly towards their partner for spending time with people other than her. Possessiveness, immaturity and being clingy are all turnoffs.

Just be yourself and you'll find guys like that in you and you'll attract whoever you want and then some for your personality--looks cannot hinder matters any either but if you lack a good (read sunny) personality they won't work for you in getting a potential partner to take interest in you.


So im the type that always gives all my friends advice and now im the one in need.

My boyfriend and I had a fight 2 days ago.
And he emailed me saying he loved me and he was sorry.
And i dont want to lose him.
But im scared maybe this might be it.

what do i do?
I need him. (link)

You did not mention what your fight was about so I have little to go on to help you from what you wrote in the question field. I think what you need to do is give this a few days to cool off and not be swift to answer his e-mail.

This is done so you both can contemplate how to resolve the issue to make sure it doesn't happen again. If you are nervous and thinking to yourself "this might be it" there's a reason for that and you ought to listen to what that voice is telling you.

Odds are, you know the truth is that this is the end of the relationship but you are unwilling to accept that. Trust your gut because if you think it's over and are scared of being in an even worse situation with him later on end it now.

You don't "need him". Nobody is dependant upon anyone else for love, friendship, relationships. There are many guys who will be vying for your attention in the long run. If this guy seems wrong for you right now cut him loose and move on to the next one. You'll be fine but it may take a while to get over this loss which is normal.

Anyone who fires off an e-mail to say sorry or did not seem to put much thought intoan apology should be questioned in your mind. He's doesn't mean it from what I see as there isn't any conviction behind it.


i'm doing some writing and i need some examples of small talk people would make if they just met each other. any ideas?
(link)


It would have helped if you told us more about your story and the characters in it to help you develop clever, funny, interesting dialogue for them to use when you first introduce them to us and they first meet in your story.

The key to having great "small talk" or dialogue in general is to write conversationally. This means you will write dialogue that people would say in a normal conversation and not load your story with big words or anything that doesn't sound like someone would talk naturally.

When people first meet and greet each other they may mention that "I heard a lot about you from..." You can also put in dialogue about where they work, their interests, dislikes etc, things them share in common.

You can use anything people would say in a normal conversation when they meet someone for the first time as "small talk" if something doesn't sound natural or right to you when you are writing it's a good sign to go change it.




I really want to become a nurse when I grow up. I am very fascinated with the field, and what they do. I know so much about medicine, human anatomy, and other things. But I am doing so horribly in my Chemistry and Biology classes. I don't get a lot of it, and I know I would need to learn it in order to become a nurse.

I know Biology is partly on human anatomy but that's not what I am doing horribly on. Just generally on other stuff. And chemistry, I don't get anything in that class, and it frustrates me.

Does anyone have any tips to excel in these areas so I can better my chance of being a nurse? (link)


Have you tried talking with your professor or instructor about your grades thus far and explain to them what you aren't quite getting? That would be the first step I would have taken if I were you. maybe they will have extra time to give you or can arrange to get you a tutor to bring your grade up and help you understand it better so you can pass.

Perhaps, you might be doing better than you think and can even pull it off without. I would talk to them though as they are there to help. It would be foolish not to. If worse came to worse and you did fail these courses or decided to drop them it's not the end of the world.

You can always take them over again and excel next time. Your dream of being a nurse isn't necessarily shattered or over in that case. Maybe you would benefit from taking the courses over again and hiring a tutor. talk to your instructor about how things are going and map out a course of action with them.




hey. last year i liked this guy but i didn't know him that well. i was going to talk to him & get to know him but my friend started bothering him all of the time because everyone told me he liked me even tho we never really talked. some things he did starting to make me think he might like me but i didnt want to get my hopes up. anyway.. my friend would ask him about me everyday even when i told her to stop..some of his answeres would be good but i just wanted to talk to him myself..after that i was too embarassed. she even wrote him a note pretending to b me and said i liked him..i still like this guy but it was pretty obvious he never liked me back. im still not over him..i still see him everyday and even tho i dont have any classes with him, its hard. please help ♥ (link)

You need to tell your friend that what she is doing is not helping the situation any and to stop. If she will not listen you need to get more in her face about it and tell her to mind her own business on this one and stay out of your love life.

Tell her you value her as a friend but when it comes to guys her involvement in your business starts and ends at the end of her nose. Learn a lesson from this though. Girls are like this when a friend says they like so and so.

If you don't want that information from getting around to anyone keep your mouth shut and say nothing if asked by her or anyone in the future. Tell them that's your business and to mind theirs.

You ought to let your friend know also that you're not up in her business like she has been with you and that you may lose said guy from what she's doing because it may piss him let alone you off.

What should you do? corner the guy alone and tell him your friend is being a real pest in bothering him and you had nothing at all to do with it or her behavior. Point out your friend must think she's helping but is not.

Give him your number, e-mail etc and tell him "if you're still interested in getting to know me despite all this here's how to find me." Walk away and leave the ball in his court. Don't be shy as guys are petrified of girls too and having to ask the same things.

He's not going to snarl at you and if he did it would prove he's not worth it or your friend pissed him off too much and he's holding it against you.

If that happens it's not your fault but it does teach you and reinforces what I said that if you want your crushes to stay secret tell her as well as your friends it's your business and not open for discussion.



at my school a lot of people have already lost their virginity. not just regular sex, but from oral and other stuff. i know that theres one guy that would be willing to but i don know if i should. i dont just want to be a follower but i also dont want to be the loser. (link)

It's not a competition here. These people may be may be bluffing that thjey have had sex just to sound cool. Others may have had sex and are treating it like no big deal.

The decision to have sex is a big deal because you have to live with the consequences which include STDs or pregnancy and the fact that you had no connection with the guy you had it with. Don't do something just to sound cool or be like others.

You aren't ready especially if you are thinking of having sex with some random guy you sort of know who will have sex with you not because he loves you but just to have sex.

This is a bad idea and you will be happy in the long run that you waited for the right person because a lot of your classmates will regret as adults their mistakes now while a remote few will feel they were with the right person.

Guys will come and go in your life so it's best to wait until you are sure you have met someone worthy. It's not a competition to have any form of sex or to say you did X, Y, Z like someone else did. It's based on whether you are ready.

You won't be a loser for waiting and doing this stuff when it's right and for thinking it through. That makes you intelligent and smart. It's not a popularity contest here. This is a big life decision that needs a lot of thought, planning and reading before you engage in it.


im looking into getting a job. im fourteen, so i could only work part time, on the weekends. on average, how much does dunkin donuts or stop and shop pay a part time worker, like someone who works just the weekends, like i would have to do, either per hour or per month.

thanks! (link)


The advice giver from Canada is right. These jobs will give you some great skills and experience but not much in money per month. This person mentioned you would be recieving minimum wage. However, in the U.S. this rate differs by state. I found a link that lists what the minimum wage is if you click on your state http://www.dol.gov/esa/minwage/america.htm

One place you ought to look besides fast-food outlets are movie theatres. The pay is bad, they may treat you awful but you get access to free movies all the time. Check out Lowes, AMC, Cinemark near you or in Canada theatres owned by Cineplex such as Famous Players, Galaxy etc.


im a virgin but me n mi boyfriend want 2 go all the way, but im kinda holdin dat off rite now bcause im nervous n i dunno...he said he wanted to finger me and quote "make love" to me but i dont know how that'll feel plus i would be super tight so wouldn't that hurt...i have never made a question like that so public, i feel comfortable around u guys tho thankz
i\'d also like some guys to reply to..ones who have had experience already. but girls too. (link)


If you are nervous and unsure of how you truly feel about having sex with him or at all or doing anything sexual such as fingering put simply don't do it--at least not now. Rule it for now, tell him why and let him know that when you are ready for sex or fingering you'll tell him. Also tell him with conviction "If you pressure me about this ever, you're toast!"

You just aren't ready yet for sex or fingering if you are nervous or doubting whether you should do it. Never do it to keep a guy either as men will be coming and going from your life until you settle down and marry that special person in the future. Bottom line, don't rush things and take things slow until you feel truly ready so it will be special.

You aren't emotionally or physically ready yet and that's perfectly fine and nothing to be ashamed of. It's better for you to wait than make a crucuail mistake that could haunt you later or bring forth an unwanted pregnancy.

If he bails on you for telling him where you stand than it proves that you shouldn't be together sexually or otherwise. It's your body and not his. Sex is not all it's cracked up to be at least not the first time believe me from experience.

Sex can hurt if there isn't enough lubrication and no communication between partners while engaging in it. It may not even feel pleasurable or you may not feel anything at all your first time.

Sex isn't a decision that is easy to make or one to be rushed as there's millions of guys out there and several that will come in and out of your life make sure you're doing it with the right one and not to satisfy anyone but yourself.

Fingering is pretty common among adolescents and I'm sure you already know what that entails as it's more or less female masturbation done by the guy and doesn't have to involve penetration at all. It should never hurt you either. If it does tell him it's too rough and put a stop to it going any further and decide on your own whether to educate him about what he did wrong.

Just ask yourself though if you really want him touching you in a sexual way yet or even at all or further more seeing you naked in any fashion. If the answers to any of your questions about being ready is maybe or no don't do any of it and to reiterate just tell him the truth about why.

It's all about personal choices and readiness here and from what you've written I can sense you're not ready hon--not just now. Finally, if the two of you do eventually want to do these things together you ought to read more books, and get better info so you know down the road what you're getting into and can make key decisions on it.





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