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Still A Virgin
I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 20. (I'm a girl by the way)We've been together for about 4 1/2 months and I love him so much. I think i'm ready to take the next step with him, and by that I mean sex. I'm a virgin still and he knows that, so he's never pressured me into doing anything with him I wasn't ready for. He's been really sweet and understanding.However I can also tell it's hard for him. I'm kind of the first girl he's really commited to, he used to be ...I don't know how to put it, a player. Although he never pressures me to have sex with him I can tell he's been getting kind of frustrated. I mean when things get to intimate (I'll put it that way) I'll just stop so things don't escalate further than I want to go. I want to take the next step with him but i'm scared, for more than one reason. I'm scared that he'll compare me to other girls or leave me for someone more experianced if I do. He's been with tons of girls. I'v had 4 or 5 boyfriends, but I never once thought of having sex with them. It wasn't serious enough. I'm afraid that the morning after things will be wierd and akward, and i'm also scared that it will hurt. How much does it hurt when you first have sex? Should I talk to him. Is 4 months to soon to be thinking about sleeping with another person. I'm really confused on what to do here if you can't already tell. Please help!
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PLEASE be sure he gets tested for STI's first.
I know a first love is hard, and I know waiting is hard, and I'm proud you stuck it out for nearly 5 months.
But look, first off, even if you agree to have sex, it's considered "statutory rape" by most state laws. Disregarding even this, you said he has a reputation for being a player. If you're the first girl he's committed to thats GREAT and I'm glad for both of you - but you can't trust he's been careful with every girl, or that every girl was honest with him about her own past. Please be sure before you give your virginity to him that he gets tested for STD's first. Don't let your first sexual experience be ruined by an irresponsible ex-girlfriend.
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Ok...so you are ready...but i don't think you should. You have held out this long why ruin your virginity with a guy who has "done it" with many other girls. But if you decied that he is the one you want he will wait for you to be married when it will be the most special moment in your life...and you will be so proud if you wait because he was your first. I know it is too early to tell if he is the one you want to be with forever, but if he isn't then later you will have nothing to regret when you are married.
-Milly203
[{(P.S. >>> THINK AHEAD on how you will feel when you are married and your husband is not your FIRST)}]
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You are asking a very serious question. I will start by saying if you are ready for it, and have thought about all of what might come of this, then no worries. As for how long is too soon, that all depends on the two people. No one can seriously say it it's too early for something like that for you. You can't worry about him comparing you to others if he's really committed to you. I understand that he's been with a few people, but apparently you seem to believe he's ready to be true to you and only you. Just take the time to think all of this through as far as what might be the consequences.
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If he has not left you already and has showed no signs of wanting to qoute "play the field" and or cheat than you have no problem. If he really loves you no matter what happens when/if you decide to have sex with him for the first time he will still love you afterwards.
I think there's no fear of him ever leaving over that as one can always improve sexually over time and he loves you. You need to communicate to him though about your fears and be honest with him what you are afraid of before deciding to go ahead with it. If you are unsure of anything wait as that's the sensible thing to do.
He may be a little frustrated about waiting but you need not worry about that. It's all about YOU and what you can handle and not him.
Sex can hurt if you are not properly lubricated. Mostly, pain can come if your hymen has not been stretched either through tampon use or masturbation. If you are not lubricated it goes without saying that the friction from thrusting will hurt. You can get artificial lubricants to help there.
As far as only being together for four months goes it's not about the length of time but about whether you feel ready and are with the right person and will not regret this later on. It's only too early if you feel it is and that you don't think such an intimate connection exists yet.
Bottom line: if you have any doubts in your head at all don't have sex as you still aren't 100% solid on whether you should be doing it. When you feel that way still having sex will seem meaningless afterwards.
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