Hello Everyone. I am Kaci. I am 18. I may be young, but I can give some good advice. If you ever need anything at all, do not heistate to ask. I'll help the best I can.
Gender: Female
Location: Tennessee
Occupation: Full Time College Student
Age: 18
AIM: xxbbyxitsxyouxx
Member Since: October 28, 2011
Answers: 322
Last Update: January 29, 2015
Visitors: 18533
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so me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 4 months now, and well for the past 4 months i have done many things behind his back like hangout with other guys lied to him and recently he found i was still talking with my ex. he got upset to the point he had enough but he gave me one last chance he said if i could prove to him things were different he would forget everything. i'm not sure what to do anymore i want to keep my relationship but we fight everyday what should i do? (link)
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If he was doing all those things behind your back, how would you feel? Would you trust him? Would you have given him a second chance?
You cannot get mad at the fighting, because you put that on yourself. You should have been loyal to him, honest to him, and not given him any reason to not trust you. I'm sure your learning from that now, or you wouldn't be posting on this website for help.
You need to figure out, if the fightin is worth it. Is he worth it? He obviously thinks you are worth it because he has found a space in his heart to give you another chance.
You can stop all the things that are causing him not to trust you, or you can leave him and continue doing them.
If you aren't sure how to prove yourself to him, ask him. Be like, "What can I do to show you that I'm sorry, and I won't do those things again"
You may have to stop talking to your ex, hanging out with guys completely, and stop the lying.
If you need anything else, just inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com
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I am a 21/f and about a little over 2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 and a half years. There are many reasons for the break up and it was mutual when I initiated it. Reasons for the break up were because things weren't the same anymore, trust issues, argued alot, things became routine, didn't talk throughout the day alot, no romance, more like friends than bf/gf...etc. After the the break up the ex wasn't so fond of the idea anymore and kept trying to get back together. I declined and he let me be. We had a long conversation like a week or so after and was kind of like closer because we both realized we weren't getting back together. I haven't talked to him since. He asked if it was okay if he deleted me off facebook when the break up went down and I was like ok? Mine is private and his isn't. Even though I know this isn't helping.. I do the occasional creep on his FB.. and here recently he had mentioned going to the movies with the girl who he talked to behind my back. All of a sudden I grew angry/irritated at the fact and I'm pretty sure its normal to feel that way. I am obviously not going to say anything because he aren't together and I am doing my thing too.. I am wondering if it would be bad to text one of these days to see how he's doing, maybe not mention the fact I don't like him seeing that girl but see how things are. It's really weird not being able to just text him out of habit and say hey and stuff... he was apart of me for over 4 years and it's not that I want to be with him again but I wonder if we could be friends but I'm not so sure right now would be good. I am at lost at what to do and I am probably answering my own question by saying don't talk to him, don't be friends and stop looking at his FB.. but easier said than done. Any suggestions on how to move on? (link)
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You know, I see nothing wrong in what you are doing. You was with him for 4 years, and its tough. I'm sure during these 4 years you have somehow, one way or another, combined your lifestyle to fit in with his. Once you have been with someone for so long, its hard to remember how, or what things were like before they came into your life.
Its been two months. Everything will get easier. It is normal to go snooping at his page. YOu loved him. Its not like there was never love there, so of course your going to be curious and nosey.
Even though it makes you mad to see him talk to this girl that HE TALKED TO BEHIND YOUR BACK (which to me, is pretty pathetic) I would never let him know. Like Zane said below, he is just trying to get you where he wants you. He's trying to get you to feel what he felt when you left him. Sure it may have been mutual, but not mutual enough, if he wanted to come back and you rejected him. (good job, by the way; i can imagine that might have been pretty difficult).
I also don't see anything wrong in wanting to be friends with him. Of course though, right now isn't the right time. I'd wait until you are over him a little more. Find you someone else to text.
They say, "The only way to get over a man, is to get under another" && "One man's loss is another mans gain".
Your young, you were tied down for 4 years. Its time to go out and enjoy yourself as a person; and enjoy all the men this world has to offer! I garentee that as soon as your ex finds out about you actually doing better without him, he's going to be feeling 10x worse than you are!
Good Luck
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Ok so I never get invited anywhere!!! It's super annoying my friends know how alone I'm. They invite I'm places then cancell on me 2 mins later to be with someone else. I h8 it. At lunch they talk about hanging out with each other in front of my face. One girl in the group is super nice to me and includes mi. I want to hang out with her and others but she's always busy Bcuz ppl are lik obsessed with her and stuff. I'm not but shes my only friend and aren't friends supposed to hang with each other. (link)
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Man, I'm sorry your "friends" are treating you this way. I know how it feels. I use to get so mad and jealous when my friends would ditch me, and than brag about how much fun they had around me.
You need to put your foot down. Stand up to these so called "friends". You need to let them know how you feel, and ask them how come they are always ditching you. I am not the type of person who believes in revenge or anything, but it seems like these girls need a taste of their own medicine.
If I was you, I would defintely find new friends. I'm sure your a great person, who can find friends easily. Once you start making better, reliable friends. Your old friends will come running back to you in no time, and than you can finally tell them all the tihngs they have been telling you.
Don't feel bad though. Them acting like this is actually a good thing. There showing you that they are not REAL friends, and that YOU can find so much better!
Good Luck
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I once had a girl I met back in high school. I was her best friends boyfriend and I realized that there was a spark between me and her friend so I took her instead.It was a long relationship and she was everything to me. Now im 20on and I still find myself thinking of her and were her life has gone and think I miss her but still don't have the courage to call and say hey girl how have you been or something.I lost my virginity to her and she lost hers to me in a very funny place but it was one to remember .what should I do? (link)
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Find courage to call her. If calling her seems to tough to do, start out with a text, or an email. Whatever one you are most comfortable with. You have nothing to worry about. The worst that could happen is:
1. She won't text back/ answer the phone.
2. She will pick up, and be short.
But you never know, she could be feeling the same way you are. Maybe she can't build up enough nerve to call you either? Maybe she thinks you are over her, or don't want to speak to her. Those questions won't be answered unless you make the first move.
I know, if I was this girl, I would be thrilled to get a call from an old lover. I would be estatic. Give it a try. Just take a couple of breath's before you do it, and just think to yourself, "She's worth it", and give her a call!
I believe in you! You have it in you. Maybe once you call her, you too can meet up, and catch up. Who knows, maybe the spark is still there and yall can rekindle the relationship you once had!
(:
My fingers are crossed for you.
Good Luck!
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How do i get rid of my period (link)
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Every female wishes they could get rid of that time of the month. More than likely you won't be able to get rid of it for the rest of your life.
When you get in your mid thirty's or forty's; you will begin to go through minopouse, and that will be the end of this annoying period.
But of course, that is years from now, so I would suggest getting on birth controll. Different types do different things for your period; so I'd ask which one can get rid of it for the longest, and hopefully your doctor will help you.
Good Luck!
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how to use advicenator and can i add frens? (link)
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Advicenators is a website of a bunch of people who love and enjoy giving advice just because. We don't get anything in return, except peace knowing we helped someone who needed to be helped in their desperate time of need.
All you do, is on the right hand side, you can pick a topic, read about it, and give as best as advice as you can.
Or up at the top by the "home" button you can either get advice, or give advice. If you have anymore questions you can look on the left hand side under Miscellaneous, and click the Help/FAQ.
Any more questions you have, the answers should be there.
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18 F
So last year I dated one of my best friends for about ten months, we broke up and in my moment of weakness I hooked up with one of our mutual friends. The thing is, this really upset my ex and made things worse between us. I had a thing with my friend for about three weeks before we both decided it was for the greater good we discontinued what we had and just stayed friends. I didn't mind being his friend and him the same. He always hung out with my ex though and we kind of started to grow apart. The Last I saw him was in the middle of August right before my break up with my most recent boyfriend. His head was shaved and he told me he had joined the army. Well he's in basic training right now and I am very proud of him. He's coming home right before Christmas for a few days and I am going to attempt to see him. I made a big mistake when him and I had a thing, I fooled around with a bunch of guys when I first broke up with my ex last year It wasn't like sex, mostly just kissing and flirting among other things. Well Apparently this really upset my friend. I found this out just recently. I really want to take the time to apologize to him and such. But when I saw his picture of him in his uniform I felt so proud, and I felt like an idiot because I picked an abusive prick for a boyfriend instead of realizing what a good guy he was. I want to know if this is fixable, if not our small relationship we had, at least fixing our damaged friendship, I've never regretted something this bad, he was one of my best friends, he walked me home in a blizzard once, he took me to the mall and bought me cheesy pretzel even though he hates cheese. We played zombie games for hours. I love this boy as a friend, and my feelings are starting to resurface for him. I know I messed up with him bad. please. help. (link)
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Are you talking about the guy you dated for 10 months? Or his bestfriend??
I'm going to assume your talking about the guy you was with for 10 months. It seems that months have past since you last spoke and seen him, so maybe he isn't as angry or upset anymore. I think its fixable. It isn't something that will be forgotten but it can certainly be fixed. When he comes home, talk to him face to face. Let him know you messed up, and that you realize you was in the wrong. Let him know how you felt when you first saw his picture in his army uniform. Let him know this is the biggest mistake you have ever made. Basically, let him know everything you told us.
You need to be a 100% honest with him, NO MATTER WHAT. The worst that could happen, would be him not wanting to fix things between you too; but wouldn't you rather know for sure that he doens't want it, or always wonder what if?
I really wish you the best of luck. I love a good love story, so I hope this one has a happy ending.
If you need anything else, don't heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxxyouxx@aol.com.
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this is a difficult question most will give me a "you should know" or "not something we can advise" to..but im just backed into a corner. In a few months i go to college and i just really need to break free, i was the constantly social, religious jock then i got into drugs, struck in depression and pushed all my friends far away. i never got the highschool experience other than a few nights and that fact is pushing me deeper into depression since i want what i cant have. my boyfriend of over a year is also completely against parties/drinking, i love him and i would love to get married, but he may die soon and he puts me way down which sounds so heartless im sorry but he also makes me feel amazing at times..he has brain cancer and is just letting it take its course and im not allowed to tell a soul he has it so i cant get help and its tearing every last peice of me apart. he is also so negative and puts everything down. not good with the fact im already becoming a hermit and on depression meds..
but my questions are: should i stay with him? we might be going to the same colleges or should i not? how do i help either of us with the situation? how do i live my life like i used to? and anything else, i really cant think (link)
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This is the most difficult post I have seen on this website. First of all, let me say I am truely sorry for what you and your boyfriend are going through.
You can't dwell on the past though. High School years are over. No need to be depressed because you didn't get to enjoy high school. You say your about to start College soon, so take that as your second chance to explore and enjoy College like you wished you would have High School. I'm in College, and I have to say, the experience is alot more enjoyable than High School parties, football games, dances, ect.
So just make the most out of College.
Now, you need to ask yourself, "Do I love him enough to stay by his side"
If you answer yes, than stay with him. He can't help he has brain cancer. I think you being unhappy with yourself and how your life has turned out, is making you think you should leave him. He isn't the cause of your depression. Your depression is because of regrets and what if's you have on your past and present.
I personally think your depression will get better once College starts. Sure, your going to be stressed with all the homework, papers, ect. But you will be open to a whole new group of people, where you can simply start over.
You will make new, better friends. Since you made the mistake of falling into drugs; you won't make that mistake again.
I know its stressful not being able to communicate with someone who is close to you about your boyfriends brain cancer, so maybe you should see a therapist. Ask your boyfriend why he doesn't want anyone to know. Does his parents know? I mean if they do, than maybe you could express to them how his condition makes you feel.
As of living your life the way you use to, you have to be happy within. You have to be happy with yourself. If you aren't completely happy with yourself, than figure out why. Do things that make you happy. Find a hobby, go to a spa, get a massage and just relax. It also helps to write how you feel down in a diary. And if that doesn't help that see some professional help. Seeing professional help doesn't make you "Weird" or anything negative like that. It shows your strong enough to realize you can't handle certain things by yourself, and your smart enough to bring someone else in.
Good Luck to you!
If you need anything else, don't heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxxyouxx@aol.com.
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okay so ive been with a lad on and off for a year and he is sucha nice person and always says and does nice things for me but he also is the biggest flirt ever. and all he does is flirt with other girls all the time. ive been on his facebook and ive seen the mails and i get told about it all the time and he even still flirts with my best friend who is his ex from 3 years ago but when i confront him about it he just gets really mad and tells me to "wise up" and stop being stupid and tells him that "if he does flirt, he doesnt even notice" but i know he is at it and i dunno what to do because my friends have told me im better off without him but i love him although i cant always be watching him anymore, someone help! (link)
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Can you tolerate the flirting? Yes or No? If the flirting bothers you, than you need to leave him. He doesn't respect your feelings, and that just shows when he is flirting with other females, you aren't crossing his mind at all.
You deserve a lot better than that, and I also agree with your friends. You are certainly better off without him. Yes you may love him, but you have to forget about what you want and what you feel, and remember what you deserve!
You are deserve a man, who only has eyes for you. Who only wants to flirt, hold, and care for you. Not other women.
Good Luck!
If you need anything else, don't heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxxyouxx@aol.com.
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Hi guys(: So, my boyfriends birthday is on Dec 7th and im getting him Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. I know, bad call but whatever its HIS birthday so its what he wants. Since its not a personal gift I wanna make it personal by putting something cute on the inside like a schedule for COD and a schedule for me with like a little note or something, any ideas? Thanks in advance(: (link)
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Oh lord, not MW3, hahah. Girl, be prepared to lose your boyfriend to that game for a couple of weeks. That game kidnaps; trust me. Just bought it for my boyfriend for an early anniversary gift. Haven't spent time with him since, and he lives with me! lol
No, but your boyfriend is going to love that gift, personal or not. I'm not too sure what you mean by a schedule for you or for the game;
but you could always right him a sweet love note, and fold it up and put it inside; Kind of High School'ish, but its cute. It would also help if I knew how old you were, how old he was, and also what your relationshp with him is like;
I could give you a lot of ideas that way too!
So if you would like to explain those to me, and just inbox me, I'll be more than happy to help you out!
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16/f
So theres this guy at college who seems to be really popular-like surrounded by lots of friends and things.
I however am fairly shy and have been in one previous relationship. Everytime he walks past me he looks at me like diffently. He also went up to me and my friend once and did a magic trick and then said he really just wanted to talk to us-yet he does magic trickes on like everyone but only the 'fit girls'
Then one time I was in the lift and he was like 'oh it's you'.
Idk how do you tell if a guy likes you? Any advice would be great :) (link)
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I couldn't really tell you any signs that show a guy likes you, because all guys are differnt; They all have their "special" technique that gets girls.
But by what you are describing, I'm not too sure if he's trying to flirt, or if he's just really friendly.
I mean, I know your shy and such; but maybe when you guys aren't around a group of people you could talk to him. Carry on a conversation. If you like this guy, than maybe you should try to make the first move.
Guys love confidence. Not overly confident, but confident enough. A woman who is comfortable in her own skin, can sometimes drive a man wild.
Now, some ways guy show that they like you is eye contact, smiling, looking at you alot, body language, and even the way he talks around you. If you see he acts differently around you than he does these "fit" girls, than maybe that should be your chance to grab onto it, and see where it goes.
Anything can happen. Try to get to know him better before you assume he likes you, like I said he could be very friendly.
I really hope he likes you though.
If you need anything else, don't heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxxyouxx@aol.com.
Good luck!
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My exboy and I broke up around 3 months ago. We dated originally for 2 years but kept fighting so we decided it was time to call it quits. I have not been able to stop thinking about him and recently he started messaging me on facebook. We talked for like 3 days straight through text message after that and he said things like he hasn't found anyone else or had sex with anyone else. Then he said he still loved me but he just didnt want people to look down on me since he was so lazy. But the thing is...now he isnt really trying to talk to me. Like its been a week and he hasnt made a move to talk to me or anything. Im so confused :[
The thing is..my family and friends all hate him. He treated me pretty badly before but I was so blinded that I never really ended it. I really miss him and I havent really found anyone ive been interested in. Ive made a stupid mistake and I am terrified hes going to find out and just not talk to me ever again. Id rather tell him things in person cause its just better that way.
Im so depressed and I feel like I cant find someone that made me feel the way he did. This is my second real relationship and I am only 20 but Im terrified that I will end up alone because I cant move on from this breakup :[ PLEASE HELP (link)
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I feel your pain. You aren't alone. Just do me a favor, take a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. Seems like you just need time to relax, and take it easy.
Break up's are extremly tough. Especially being with one person for 2 years. During those 2 years, I bet you fit your lifestyle to meet with his; once someone who is apart of your life for so long, just leaves. Its very difficult to remember how things were before. It's only been three months, and I'm sure to you that has felt like probably years. That is normal.
This next paragraph will probably bore you, but its to help you understand that what you are going through is completely normal, and to inform you that you will not be alone for the rest of your life sweetheart!
I dated this guy when I was 15, (young I know) but he was my first real boyfriend. We were together for almost 8 months; at the last 3 months of us being together, we fought all the time; he would sometimes abuse me with words, and even a couple times with his hands. But for some reason I still "loved" him. After we broke up, I dated other guys, but no longer than maybe a week or so; I just couldn't do it. I didn't feel right. I felt like I couldn't give each of those guys what they deserved because my heart was still with my ex. Four years later, (years, I know, long freaking time) I finally met this guy named Riley. I was so surprised with how easily I fell for him. Riley and I hit it off really well, and we have been together for a little over a year now. What I thought I had with my ex wasn't love; because of how much better and respected I am treated by my current boyfriend.
I know how bad it sucks to have your hopes all up, thinking "Oh my gosh, he's talking to me again, maybe he misses me; maybe he wants me back" and than in a split second, your hopes come crashing down. You have to believe and understand that your ex, is simply just an ex. He will never and could never be anything more. Its normal to not be over him, because of how long you guys were together. It may take you a couple of more months, or maybe a couple of years. WHICH THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, AT ALL! Ok?
Now, if your family and friends hate him; that should throw up red flags right there. When you are in love with someone, you are usually blinded by the wrong things they do to you; this is what family and friends are for. They see what you don't see. Family, most importantly, want what is best for you; along with friends; so they wouldn't hate him, just for the hell of it. Do you agree?
I know this is going to suck to hear this, but it is best if you do not talk to him until you are over him. The more you talk to him, the more your hopes are going to go up without you realizing it. It will just make things tougher on you.
You will find someone who will make you feel more amazing, worthy, and cherished than he ever could. You are given certain guys in your life; I like to call "Ex's" stepping stones; These "stepping stones" lead you to your REAL true love. The teach you things along the way: about yourself, what you want in a relationship, what you don't want in a relationship, and MOST importantly, they open your eyes up so you can be aware when you have an amazing certain someone.
It is okay to not be dating anyone at the moment, you just need time to gather your thoughts, feelings, and you need to sit down and realize what you deserve.
Heartbreak heals in time; some longer than others.
I am SOO sorry this was alot, but I just wouldn't feel right knowing I left something out that could have helped you.
I'd love to know how things are going for you, in a couple of weeks, or months. Please keep me posted. If you ever need anything else, or have anymore questions, do NOT heistate to inbox me, or send me an email at xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com.
Good Luck!
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How to get some one back in your life that used to mean so much to you? (link)
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You know, I was struggling with the same thing. I had a bestfriend for 5 years; we were closer than a set of siblings. We didn't everything together, she was literally all I had during those 5 years. She met a guy, lost her virginity to him, and he told her to stop being friends with me. She did. I was devistated. I literally felt like I lost my other half. I didn't really have any other friends; I devoted all my time to her. Do I regret it? NO. Not at all. Do I miss it? Yes, of course.
I know your kind of wondering, "Why the heck are you telling me all that",
To inform you, its a way of life. It's been two years since we stoppd being friends; I recently wanted her back in my life, since we are in college together. She stayed the night, we hung out a couple of times; but things just aren't the same. She changed, majorly. She has her own bestfriend, just like I was when I was hers. It just hit me that you know, everything happens for a reason, and I can accept it and move on, or grieve about it.
Sorry if you don't find the information useful, but all I can tell you, is try.
Don't give up. Unless you feel like there is no point anymore. Like I did.
You can either accept the way things are, or you can stay stuck in the past with all the memories. If you really want this person back in your life, you have to ask yourself, "Why did we stop being close in the first place?"
Is it fixable?
Does this person have any interest in being close with you again?
All you can really do, is text, call, IM, voicemail them and tell them you want to meet up, you need to get some things off your chest. If that seems too awkaward for you, than just say it through a text. You could ask, "What happen to us?
" and see why the other person feels why you guys have drifted apart.
I hope this helped; sorry I bored you with my life story.
Good Luck, if you need anything else, please do NOT heistate to send me an email at xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com, or simply just inbox me.
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So I have been dating this guy for about a month and everything has been going great. We text at least once or twice a day , hang out atleast 3 times a week, and have gone on tons of dates but we made plans to hang out 3 days ago and he said he had a really bad day at work and didnt want to hang out but we would hang out another time. Then he said he would give me a call the next day. That was 3 days ago and I have still to hear back from him. Does this mean its over? Should i text him? I usually would never worry over a guy but everything just seemed to be going so great i dont undersatnd why he could just not give me the slightest thought to atleast send me a text.
thanks, your advice means a lot (link)
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Sounds like he may be going through a rough time. Don't seem needy, or even clingy. Give him some space. I know its hard, because you have a lot of questions going through your mind, and as a girlfriend (women are loving, caregivers, and open armed) you just want to be there for him, and atleast hear from him and know he is okay. Its tough, I know. (Ive been in the situation before, and I blew it; ugh) I was too clingy. I called him, and texted him mulitble times, and that did nothing but push him away, when I thought it really would make he see I cared; I cared a little too much. If I was you, I would send him a text or voicemail; Be the 3 S's. Short, simple, and sweet. Tell him, "Haven't heard from you in a few days, hope your okay, just wanted to let you know I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to; miss you, love you, (whatever, lol) whenever your ready to talk, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere"
That will show him you care for him, your thinking of him, and your there when HE needs you. Your not being pushy, clingy, and your not over doing it.
If a week goes by and nothing is goin on, try calling him or seeing him and ask him if he's going through a hard time with work, or if he's really trying to push you away.
Good Luck!
Need anything else, feel free to inbox me or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxxyou@aol.com.
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Please don't judge...and if you must, please refrain from the unsavory words...we don't use these for men and we shouldn't for women.
I have been sleeping with and dating this man, let's call him Daniel, for about two months. On repeated occasion, I asked if he wanted to be together. He said he was only seeing me but he didn't want a serious relationship because he just got out a long term relationship with his first love. He wanted me to only see him but he didn't want us to be in a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. He is very sweet—always compliments both my intellect and behavior—and is quite thoughtful with what he says he loves about me. He never sounds generic. He always took me out on dates, was proud for men to see me with him, wanted me to hold his hand in front of other men, but the relationship was mostly sexual other than that. I began to feel like i was there as a sex partner and trophy. Once I defined this, it was okay to me, and I continued to see other men. (just go on dates and kiss mind you, I prefer, for safer sex, to keep sex partner numbers low) I enjoy being intimate with him--it's always a fun time!
One day, when it was about one month after knowing him, his best friend, let's call him Robert, was over. We all slept together. I have never felt guilty about this or like a harlot. I have wanted to experiment for some time coming from an abusive previous relationship that lasted 6 years (and ended 6 months ago) who was my first partner ever, my sexual side and spirit were quite stifled. These two men, Daniel and Robert, made me feel sexy and powerful during the whole experience of our little session. I felt very in control of it, and very sexy and womanly.
However, recently, a month later after the ménage a trios, I became increasingly frustrated with Daniel. I started to want him to progress things, and he was happy taking me out to expensive places and sleeping together. I continued because I enjoyed the physical, but I have still dated others while seeing him. Plus, I have always had a feeling he hadn't been completely honest with me, and was seeing others too. However, being safe, I only have slept with him (and the one time in our menage a trois with his best friend Robert) since i met him. Well, a few weeks ago, Robert, Daniel's best friend called. He said we should talk as friends. I knew this wasn't the case because after the three of us had had our intimate encounter together the previous month, the times when Robert would come just to visit, it always felt like he was jealous and that we had more in common when we all talked, like Robert and I were connecting more intellectually.
Well, on our "friend date" Robert confessed that he had feelings for me, and wanted to “treat me better than Daniel.” He said that Daniel told him about all of our intimate encounters but never called me a girlfriend, so why should I feel any loyalty to him. He never came out and said it but when I asked he basically agreed that “Daniel has “many reasons” not to feel bad—that he is seeing other women. I agreed with him but still felt hesitant because they have been friends for son long.. He said that Daniel has done this kind of thing to him before and its ok. During the date, right away, he introduced me to all of his close friends on our first “date.” It was strange because the previous week I complained to Daniel that he never introduced me to close friends—only Robert and that he only wanted random men to see me with him as a trophy. On the date, Robert took me out to a few places--the last place we went to was one I always go to and have always felt a spiritual connection to--I never told Robert or daniel this ever--it was strange that Robert seemed to really know what I would like more than Daniel. Robert confessed he eventually "wanted me all to himself" and we kissed passionately outside. The kiss felt romantic with Robert—with Daniel it always feels lustful. We ended up sleeping together and it felt more like making love. While we were doing it, he said that he wanted just me to himself, and he said it after, too. At the end, Robert confessed he stole Daniel's phone when Daniel was out of the room the week after the had the ménage a trois but he was afraid to call me until now. He said I could continue to see Daniel so it wouldn't look suspicious but eventually let him down easy so then later on, Robert could reveal to Daniel that he and I were seeing each other.
The thing is, since this has happened, Daniel has been paying much more attention to me. He has been saying he wants more than just physical and he is excited to see me more often. Robert has been also contacting me since then. He has been saying he is also eager to see me again and has another date planned he know I will love. The question is, What should I do? (link)
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That was alot to take it. You seem to be handling it very well. First of all, I don't think your a "whore" or "nasty" ect. By the way you are describing the situation, you have to ask yourself, who would you be less hurt not seeing or talking to as much? Which guy would you find yourself missing more?
If I was you, I would go with Robert. He seems to understand the real you, and wants you for you. Not to make himself look good. You said what you needed to do in your problem. Re-read it, and maybe you will see it to. By what I read, I can tell you are leaning more towards Robert. There is more of a connection phsyically and emotionally. You also have to ask yourself, if you really want a relationship.
Robert=Relationship
Daniel=Friends with benefits
If you decide you are leaning more towards Robert, than you need to explain to Daniel exactly why you feel this way. Tell him the threesome made you curious what things would be like with Robert, and tell him about the date and what type of experience it was for you. Daniel might be a little hurt, but he can't get that mad. He has had his chance to make you HIS, and not once has he took advantage of that opportunity.
Sorry its so long, I hope I helped.
If you have anymore questions, please do NOT heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com
Good Luck!
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I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years now. We live together and I love him so much but we have absolutely nothing in common. We started dating a little before I turned 19 and he was 18 now i'm 21 and he'll be 21 in a couple of months. He is kind of controlling he doesn't want me to hang out with some of my friends because when me and my friends fight I complain about it to him. But the biggest problem is i'm still really good friends with my ex boyfriend. Me and my ex were together for 4 months when I was 15 and we broke up because of some family drama. Then we dated again when I was 18 then school ended and I started working at a camp where I could never leave so we put things on hold. That is how I met my current boyfriend. Me and my ex get along great we barely ever fight and we can talk forever and he was the person I gave myself to and the first person I have ever completely trusted with everything. My ex boyfriend tells me he still loves me and I still love him but I also love my current boyfriend. I really don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt anybody but I know one of them will get hurt. Also all of my friends say my current boyfriend is controlling because he doesn't want me to do anything unless he is with me. But I just see it as a boyfriend who wants to be with his girlfriend. (link)
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Why are you asking us Hunnie? Re-read what you said, its very clear which one you feel is right for you. (:
See, when you explain things, you tend to favor one topic more than the other.
For instance:
Current boyfriend: You love him; nothing in common; controlling.
Ex Boyfriend: Got along great; barely fought; talk forever; gave yourself too; trusted with everything; you love him as well;
See the difference? Nothing bad at all about your ex; nothing good about your current boyfriend.
This is a very difficult situation, as you know. And sometimes its hard to listen to your heart when you can't tell your head and heart apart. Usually, most of the time, people tend to follow their head's thinking its what their heart wants; and they realize shortly it was either a mistake, or it was just simply "whatever".
You need time by yourself. Time to take a breather from both boys. Could you go to your parents house for maybe a weekend or so? Maybe even a friend?
I know you said your boyfriend is controlling and has a problem with you hanging out with certain people; so it may be tough to leave without leaving during an agrument. You need to be completely honest, and blunt with your current boyfriend. Tell him what's going on. Tell him how you feel.
BUT DON'T SCARE HIM. Like, don't tell him you may leave him for your ex, until you know for sure; that sentence could mess up your relationship with him, permanetly. You don't want that, especially if you realize that your current boyfriend is who you want.
Tell him, "We've been together for two years, and I feel like you controll me and we don't have much in common"
If you guys didn't have anything in common in the first place, why did you guys get together? Because I'm thinking maybe its the fact that you guys aren't in the Honeymoon stage of the relatioship anymore, and maybe your bored? If that is just a little bit of it, than how about a special date night? Conversate with your boyfriend and see how he feels about the situation.
One quick question: Does him controlling you, bother you? The things you seem to have a problem with seem like things that can be fixed with a little communication.
I know I'm focusing on just one part of your problem, but its because you both have put a lot of time and effort into this two year relationship, and you should try to make it work before leaving him for his ex. You have to look at the future as well. If you need to tell your boyfriend you need time to think and clear your head.
If you guys are meant to be, fate will not let you lose him. Go out with your ex, (not saying hook up, have sex, ect) just go out to dinner, catch up, and see if that spark is still there. Wouldn't you feel bad if you broke your boyfriend of two years' heart, and things with you and the ex didn't work out? Maybe you love him, or maybe its just the thought of what your ex and you use to be. Being in a relatioship for that long, and being young can bring about feelings of wanting more; because your lacking certain needs and wants with your current relationship. Either find a way to fix it, or simply try things out with your ex. Like I said, if its meant to be, fate won't let you lose him (either one of them).
I'm so sorry its so long! I just try to help the best I can! If you have any questions at all, please do not heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com!
Good Luck, Doll!
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i have been with my boyfriend for a year now and its been a rollercoaster. sometimes were really good other times were really bad. well last week was a good week for us spent a lot of time together and really enjoyed our company. before he went to work this weekend he even told me "i feel closer to you than i ever have and i love you more than ever".. well he works the whole weekend i dont see him we hardly even talk. i didnt sweat it because i figured i would see him on monday. well monday came around and he went and hung out with his friends instead which didnt bother me because i knew he hadnt hung out with his friends. but then he starts acting cold towards me. and hes been acting cold towards me all week. last night we got in a fight and he really upset me. it seemed like he didnt even care and was treating me like complete crap. today we talk and he basically just wants to forget what happened and tells me he doesnt really enjoy doing the things he does with his friends with me. we never do anything together , he never takes me on dates, but he always goes out with his boys. its not fair i wish he could be more romantic and enjoy doing things with me. i dont know what to do.. i dont know if i should just break up with him even though i love him so much and things are good at times.. or stick together and find a way to make things work. any advice? (link)
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You know, everything you just said, I believe can be fixed. Relationships aren't suppose to be perfect (Im sure you know that) but in order to make one work, it takes TWO people; not just one.
Your relationship sounds just like mine with my boyfriend. We've been together for almost a year on the 20th; and our relationship has been a rollercoaster as well.
Once your with someone for longer than 5 months, you begin to exit what some people call the honeymoon stage. Which is perfectly normal. Sure your relationship will seem boring, but if LOVE is really there, than you guys will find a way to make the spark shine.
But its a good thing you didn't get mad when he went to hang out with his friends. Spending time apart will give you guys a breather from each other.
I can't really say much about this statement, "he doesnt really enjoy doing the things he does with his friends with me"
because I don't know what it is exactly he does with his friends, than he can't possible include you in. Than again, he may just want space. Sometimes you can always rely on a guy to read your mind on the things you expect or want from him. If you want him to take you on a date, bring it to his attention.
"You know, we've been together for a while, and I was thinking maybe it would be great if we went out, just the two of us, and just had a good time"
see what he thinks about that, or you can even try to surprise him with something he enjoys to do;
for example: my boyfriend LOVES basketball, before the lockout, I bought him two tickets for our first Christmas together to go see his favorite team; he loved it! I hate basketball, but I put my likings aside to focuse on him.
Do a little something like that; maybe a little sweet card would help, or something just to remind him that you love him; and let him know it wouldn't hurt if he did the same;
sorry its so long! I just wanted to make sure I covered everything!
If you need anything else at all, you can inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com
Good Luck!
xoxo*
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Well im 15 f andim a sophmore. I just got my plan(act) results back and i got a 16 which is like kinda below average! Ok and my family is really smart everyone my sisters and my mom but me i didnt get the smart gene. People in my school got at least 19 or higher. I feel stupid and im not pretty so im not smart enpugh for my family/ what i want to be when im older. I want to be a dentist or dental hygentist. Also my friends are super smart. Im crying i have to show my dad in a couple minutes. Its not fair! Im not a bad person and yet i get terrible qualities. I told my sister and she was like are you serious that goes on your transcript for colleges. But the plan test is just a practrice!!well my point is i feel like i shouldnt be here like i dont belong i kinda want to just die and not just bc im not that smart. No im not gonna kill myself but im not happy i havent been happy for a long time! (link)
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Girll! Making a 16 on your ACT isn't terrible. I made a 13 on mine, and I'm already in nursing school! Yes some colleges do look at your ACT scores, but some just go by your GPA.
Now this may make you feel better.
When I was in highschool, you were allowed to take the ACT as many times as you wanted, but the catch was, it cost money. If you aren't satisfied with your scores, talk to your school counsiler and ask her when there will be more dates to re take the ACT. While your waiting for that date to come along, just study. Practice the things that you didn't get so high on, and I'm sure you'll do better. ACT the first time is very itemmidating, your timed, and there is SO MUCH TO READ, and do, so you become overwhelmed. Just relax, and breathe. Your not suppose to be exactly like your siblings, you are your own person. Your parents are going to love you unconditionally. I promise.
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Hey! On Saturday night i got with this guy, his name is Luke. After we kissed maybe half an hour later he hooked up with another girl, and so i hooked up with a guy he knows..just for fun. At the end of the night all our friends ended up going to someone's house for drinks and the whole night he was kissing me and stuff, and he asked me to go back to his house and i said no. (I dont just drop my knickers for anybody)
Luke is really attractive, he can get whoever he wants whenever he wants, and he knows it. He's known for sleeping around quite a bit.. So i want to try and get him to like me and see me more than just a toy he can use.. Already a bonus because he told his best friend that i'm beautiful. Does anybody know what kind of "mind games" i can play to make this happen? Like play hard to get or something? If it doesnt work out im not going to be upset, I just think we'd be good together and i want to see to what extent i can make it happen. Im going to a nightclub on Thursday with my girl friends and he will be there with his friends.
Thank you! (link)
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Hm, I don't know if what I have in mind will help you, or if it's even what your looking for.
But hey, its worth a shot? Lol.
Mind games are bad, if he ever found out, he would be furious. So lets just call it reverse-psychology. (:
Now, you definitely have to play hard to get. Being a tease would also help this. Let him know your goodies are a prize, and not just a free sample. You can't always be in a kinky situation, and expect him not to get arroused. Maybe you should ask him to go out for a drink, or maybe to dinner to get to know each other. Keep to your belief's and let him know what your looking for in a man, and see if he has any intentions of settling down to just one girl, and not three or four.
As of Thursday, make eye contact with him while your dancing. I wouldn't make out with him, let alone kiss him. If he comes at you wanting to kiss, than give him a sexy look and just smile and walk away. While your walking away, kinda look back at him, and flash a smile. This will drive him wild.
Chances are this guy will not change though. In order for him to change, to be a committed man, than he has to do it on his own; But theres an old saying "For every player, is a woman who will make him change". So lets have our fingers crossed that, thats you! (:
If you need anything else girl, don't be a stranger.
You can email me at xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com
Good Luck!
xoxo*
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As a teenager, I always hung out with guys more than girls. Though I was never overly attractive, but I always seemed to be the only girl or one of 2 girls out a few geeky guys in a group. I never focused on dating through high school and it didn't become until the spring semester of my first year in college did I get into my first relationship
This relationship, just happened to be with a friend that I knew casually since I was in 7th grade, so figure we go back.. a good 6 years and now we we are dating. We were on and off for 2 1/2 years, he was the love of my life, took my virginity and everything from me, though he constantly cheated and are dating. We were on and off for 2 1/2 years, he was the love of my life, took my virginity and everything from me, though he constantly cheated and lied to me, rarely spent any money on me..I still gave him chances to fix things and chances to make me happy. We haven't spoken since June, but I still love him with everything I got. Always will no matter what.
During our on and off, I started hanging with a co-worker from work. Though we were just friends.. we cuddled and times when we would spend the night together, he would wrap his arms around me..or he would take mine and wrap them around his. We only slept together twice, casual we felt aroused not the "I want you so badly" type. I never had emotion while sleeping with him, as I knew I didn't love him like I loved my ex. My so-called best friend stole this guy from me.. and he and I ended up having a falling out as he tried to hide and lie to me about this.. a few weeks after this had al exploded, he had moved across the country in October 2010. He texts me and facebooks me, tells me how much he loves and misses me.. and how cute we were together.. here and there, everytime I get upset over this.. because I liked him..and he messed with my head always cuddling with me, then went behind my back and dated my so-called best friend.. then tells me how he loves me, and how he messed up? I no longer feel the need to constantly talk to him every single day, like we used to when he was living here...it's starting to get quite fustrating.
After my friend co-worker had moved away, I started to talk to a different guy I used to work with before I transferred stores, we exchanged numbers..and texted and spoke on the phone for hours on end. We would hang out a lot, drive around, kiss and hold hands. He'd buy me food and come visit me on my breaks, he got me to open up and it made feel really good that I could trust someone again. We talked about so many things in life while i was iffy about the whole thing. The problem was.. he was 31, while I was only 20. We had a fall out, because he is a player..and some chick decided to pick up his phone and tell me off.. and drama started to flow through my old work place..and my current workplace since day one when someone saw us together
I then moved away for seven months, had the time of my life.. talked to guys.. hung out.. went to dinner once with a guy, never held hands or kissed anyone while I was gone.. When I came home, I found myself talking to the too -old-for-me guy again, as friends.. though I had no intentions to dealing with the drama.. it was nice to catch up..we hung out twice..and in texts he would tell me that if it wasn't for the age difference, we would be together...yes that hurt, but I had no intentions on being friends again.. let alone date him. Yet again things fell apart, when I decided to mess with his head and make him think that I wanted him when I didn't.. and he called me stupid and told me that he had a girl and i just didn't get it. we stopped talking..Am I happy? Oh very. I couldn't deal with the drama that flew around the friendship, and I don't have the energy to put effort into a friendship that fell apart the first time.
The thing is..I'm 21..and after being single for all of 2011.. I guess I'm starting to experience loneliness..I want someone there. I'm not looking because you you look you can't find it(hence how this idiot came back into my life after I came home). I just simply don't have the energy and effort for a relationship anymore.. I feel like I can't give guys the affection and energy and effort I used to have. (link)
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That was a lot to take it. By the way you rated the person's advice to you showed you didn't find it useful. But hopefully I can give you some advicec you can use.
You say, "I feel like I can't give guys the affection and energy and effort I used to have."
-This is completely understandable. You have given your all to a couple of guys, and like most girls, you get nothing in return except for pain, drama, and confusion. What you don't know is that you do have the affection, energy, and effort that you use to have. You just have to find someone to bring it out. I know it seems like every guy is the same, and/or similar. But trust me, they're not. Being lonely sucks, but the more you keep searching and looking for guys, the longer you will be lonely. In order to be happy with a man, you have to be happy with yourself.
If your looking for a relationship, don't have sex with guys, arroused or not. By having sex, it's giving the guy an easy chase. Guys love a challenge. Sex will not make a guy love you, once you have sex with a guy before you build a foundation for a relationship, MOST guys feel no need to work to build the foundation. They have simply, "got what they wanted".
Your normal. Your confused, and you want answers. There are no answers that the people of this website can tell you. Only you can answer them. Your feelings aren't dead, they are just hidden. When you find someone, take it slow. Than you will realize that those 'dead' feelings are finally coming alive again.
If you need anything else, or have anymore questions, don't hiestate to email me at xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com.
Good Luck!
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