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relationship falling apart and killing me: his brain cancer
this is a difficult question most will give me a "you should know" or "not something we can advise" to..but im just backed into a corner. In a few months i go to college and i just really need to break free, i was the constantly social, religious jock then i got into drugs, struck in depression and pushed all my friends far away. i never got the highschool experience other than a few nights and that fact is pushing me deeper into depression since i want what i cant have. my boyfriend of over a year is also completely against parties/drinking, i love him and i would love to get married, but he may die soon and he puts me way down which sounds so heartless im sorry but he also makes me feel amazing at times..he has brain cancer and is just letting it take its course and im not allowed to tell a soul he has it so i cant get help and its tearing every last peice of me apart. he is also so negative and puts everything down. not good with the fact im already becoming a hermit and on depression meds..
but my questions are: should i stay with him? we might be going to the same colleges or should i not? how do i help either of us with the situation? how do i live my life like i used to? and anything else, i really cant think
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I agree with the user below me, This is the most difficult question I've seen and are attempting to give my best answer too.
You are young, Sometimes there are choices in life we have to make although we don't want too. The main question you have to ask yourself like the other user said is do you love him enough to stay until the very end? Whatever the answer may be I want you to know that you should never put your life on hold and stall your happiness. We can be by someone's side and support them mentally. You need to go on with your on with your life and he should work with the doctors on trying to get better. It's depressing I'll take your word for it and I think the best thing you could possibly do for the both of you is to be his mental support but also do what you need to do as well. You need to do what is best for you, If you feel that being friends with him is best then you can do so. You can still be his mental support like I said. You are young and you are not expected to stall and I'm sure nobody expect you too. If you need a break then take one, Go out with friends, Relax, Read a book or go for a walk but take a day off to do things you enjoy and relieve the stress. Whatever you decide, You aren't a bad person as we are all human and sometimes we need to make tough choices in our lives. As I am sure he would want nothing but the best for you as well.
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This is the most difficult post I have seen on this website. First of all, let me say I am truely sorry for what you and your boyfriend are going through.
You can't dwell on the past though. High School years are over. No need to be depressed because you didn't get to enjoy high school. You say your about to start College soon, so take that as your second chance to explore and enjoy College like you wished you would have High School. I'm in College, and I have to say, the experience is alot more enjoyable than High School parties, football games, dances, ect.
So just make the most out of College.
Now, you need to ask yourself, "Do I love him enough to stay by his side"
If you answer yes, than stay with him. He can't help he has brain cancer. I think you being unhappy with yourself and how your life has turned out, is making you think you should leave him. He isn't the cause of your depression. Your depression is because of regrets and what if's you have on your past and present.
I personally think your depression will get better once College starts. Sure, your going to be stressed with all the homework, papers, ect. But you will be open to a whole new group of people, where you can simply start over.
You will make new, better friends. Since you made the mistake of falling into drugs; you won't make that mistake again.
I know its stressful not being able to communicate with someone who is close to you about your boyfriends brain cancer, so maybe you should see a therapist. Ask your boyfriend why he doesn't want anyone to know. Does his parents know? I mean if they do, than maybe you could express to them how his condition makes you feel.
As of living your life the way you use to, you have to be happy within. You have to be happy with yourself. If you aren't completely happy with yourself, than figure out why. Do things that make you happy. Find a hobby, go to a spa, get a massage and just relax. It also helps to write how you feel down in a diary. And if that doesn't help that see some professional help. Seeing professional help doesn't make you "Weird" or anything negative like that. It shows your strong enough to realize you can't handle certain things by yourself, and your smart enough to bring someone else in.
Good Luck to you!
If you need anything else, don't heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxxyouxx@aol.com.
<3
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