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Im terrified that I will end up alone because I cant move on from this breakup :[
My exboy and I broke up around 3 months ago. We dated originally for 2 years but kept fighting so we decided it was time to call it quits. I have not been able to stop thinking about him and recently he started messaging me on facebook. We talked for like 3 days straight through text message after that and he said things like he hasn't found anyone else or had sex with anyone else. Then he said he still loved me but he just didnt want people to look down on me since he was so lazy. But the thing is...now he isnt really trying to talk to me. Like its been a week and he hasnt made a move to talk to me or anything. Im so confused :[
The thing is..my family and friends all hate him. He treated me pretty badly before but I was so blinded that I never really ended it. I really miss him and I havent really found anyone ive been interested in. Ive made a stupid mistake and I am terrified hes going to find out and just not talk to me ever again. Id rather tell him things in person cause its just better that way.
Im so depressed and I feel like I cant find someone that made me feel the way he did. This is my second real relationship and I am only 20 but Im terrified that I will end up alone because I cant move on from this breakup :[ PLEASE HELP
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It's normal after a break up to stay in contact with your ex but it doesn't help you to move on. You are use to being able to talk to him and confide in him for 2 years. Now it's different and it's scary. He maybe having second thoughts or he might jsut be checking up on how you are doing. I've been in relationships where I never moved on because I didn't force myself to or I would always keep in touch with the guy.
If your ex treated you abd why would you want to talk to him? Whenever I talked to my recent ex it just made me realize how I don't want to be friendly with him. He doesn't deserve my kindness after what he did. You need to think about what he did and remind yourself why he's not with you. Of course you're going to miss him and you're not going to find someone right away. You need to concentrate on you and be you for awhile. I think the best bet for you is to be single and enjoy it.
The stupid mistake you have made doesn't even matter. You're not with him so there's no point in telling him. To me it seems you are trying to find ways to talk to him and get a reaction out of him. You aren't allowing yourself to move on. You're 20 years old and theres a whole lot of there.
I know how you feel and better I would never wish that pain on anyone but you need to move on. Forget about him. Delete him from your phone. Block him from facebook. Forget about him and start thinking about you! I hope you feel better and keep your head up it will get better.
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I feel your pain. You aren't alone. Just do me a favor, take a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. Seems like you just need time to relax, and take it easy.
Break up's are extremly tough. Especially being with one person for 2 years. During those 2 years, I bet you fit your lifestyle to meet with his; once someone who is apart of your life for so long, just leaves. Its very difficult to remember how things were before. It's only been three months, and I'm sure to you that has felt like probably years. That is normal.
This next paragraph will probably bore you, but its to help you understand that what you are going through is completely normal, and to inform you that you will not be alone for the rest of your life sweetheart!
I dated this guy when I was 15, (young I know) but he was my first real boyfriend. We were together for almost 8 months; at the last 3 months of us being together, we fought all the time; he would sometimes abuse me with words, and even a couple times with his hands. But for some reason I still "loved" him. After we broke up, I dated other guys, but no longer than maybe a week or so; I just couldn't do it. I didn't feel right. I felt like I couldn't give each of those guys what they deserved because my heart was still with my ex. Four years later, (years, I know, long freaking time) I finally met this guy named Riley. I was so surprised with how easily I fell for him. Riley and I hit it off really well, and we have been together for a little over a year now. What I thought I had with my ex wasn't love; because of how much better and respected I am treated by my current boyfriend.
I know how bad it sucks to have your hopes all up, thinking "Oh my gosh, he's talking to me again, maybe he misses me; maybe he wants me back" and than in a split second, your hopes come crashing down. You have to believe and understand that your ex, is simply just an ex. He will never and could never be anything more. Its normal to not be over him, because of how long you guys were together. It may take you a couple of more months, or maybe a couple of years. WHICH THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, AT ALL! Ok?
Now, if your family and friends hate him; that should throw up red flags right there. When you are in love with someone, you are usually blinded by the wrong things they do to you; this is what family and friends are for. They see what you don't see. Family, most importantly, want what is best for you; along with friends; so they wouldn't hate him, just for the hell of it. Do you agree?
I know this is going to suck to hear this, but it is best if you do not talk to him until you are over him. The more you talk to him, the more your hopes are going to go up without you realizing it. It will just make things tougher on you.
You will find someone who will make you feel more amazing, worthy, and cherished than he ever could. You are given certain guys in your life; I like to call "Ex's" stepping stones; These "stepping stones" lead you to your REAL true love. The teach you things along the way: about yourself, what you want in a relationship, what you don't want in a relationship, and MOST importantly, they open your eyes up so you can be aware when you have an amazing certain someone.
It is okay to not be dating anyone at the moment, you just need time to gather your thoughts, feelings, and you need to sit down and realize what you deserve.
Heartbreak heals in time; some longer than others.
I am SOO sorry this was alot, but I just wouldn't feel right knowing I left something out that could have helped you.
I'd love to know how things are going for you, in a couple of weeks, or months. Please keep me posted. If you ever need anything else, or have anymore questions, do NOT heistate to inbox me, or send me an email at xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com.
Good Luck! <3
& Don't forget-->There is someone out there, waiting for you at this moment. He will be given to you, when the times is right!<33
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