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How to know which is right?
I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years now. We live together and I love him so much but we have absolutely nothing in common. We started dating a little before I turned 19 and he was 18 now i'm 21 and he'll be 21 in a couple of months. He is kind of controlling he doesn't want me to hang out with some of my friends because when me and my friends fight I complain about it to him. But the biggest problem is i'm still really good friends with my ex boyfriend. Me and my ex were together for 4 months when I was 15 and we broke up because of some family drama. Then we dated again when I was 18 then school ended and I started working at a camp where I could never leave so we put things on hold. That is how I met my current boyfriend. Me and my ex get along great we barely ever fight and we can talk forever and he was the person I gave myself to and the first person I have ever completely trusted with everything. My ex boyfriend tells me he still loves me and I still love him but I also love my current boyfriend. I really don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt anybody but I know one of them will get hurt. Also all of my friends say my current boyfriend is controlling because he doesn't want me to do anything unless he is with me. But I just see it as a boyfriend who wants to be with his girlfriend.
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Why are you asking us Hunnie? Re-read what you said, its very clear which one you feel is right for you. (:
See, when you explain things, you tend to favor one topic more than the other.
For instance:
Current boyfriend: You love him; nothing in common; controlling.
Ex Boyfriend: Got along great; barely fought; talk forever; gave yourself too; trusted with everything; you love him as well;
See the difference? Nothing bad at all about your ex; nothing good about your current boyfriend.
This is a very difficult situation, as you know. And sometimes its hard to listen to your heart when you can't tell your head and heart apart. Usually, most of the time, people tend to follow their head's thinking its what their heart wants; and they realize shortly it was either a mistake, or it was just simply "whatever".
You need time by yourself. Time to take a breather from both boys. Could you go to your parents house for maybe a weekend or so? Maybe even a friend?
I know you said your boyfriend is controlling and has a problem with you hanging out with certain people; so it may be tough to leave without leaving during an agrument. You need to be completely honest, and blunt with your current boyfriend. Tell him what's going on. Tell him how you feel.
BUT DON'T SCARE HIM. Like, don't tell him you may leave him for your ex, until you know for sure; that sentence could mess up your relationship with him, permanetly. You don't want that, especially if you realize that your current boyfriend is who you want.
Tell him, "We've been together for two years, and I feel like you controll me and we don't have much in common"
If you guys didn't have anything in common in the first place, why did you guys get together? Because I'm thinking maybe its the fact that you guys aren't in the Honeymoon stage of the relatioship anymore, and maybe your bored? If that is just a little bit of it, than how about a special date night? Conversate with your boyfriend and see how he feels about the situation.
One quick question: Does him controlling you, bother you? The things you seem to have a problem with seem like things that can be fixed with a little communication.
I know I'm focusing on just one part of your problem, but its because you both have put a lot of time and effort into this two year relationship, and you should try to make it work before leaving him for his ex. You have to look at the future as well. If you need to tell your boyfriend you need time to think and clear your head.
If you guys are meant to be, fate will not let you lose him. Go out with your ex, (not saying hook up, have sex, ect) just go out to dinner, catch up, and see if that spark is still there. Wouldn't you feel bad if you broke your boyfriend of two years' heart, and things with you and the ex didn't work out? Maybe you love him, or maybe its just the thought of what your ex and you use to be. Being in a relatioship for that long, and being young can bring about feelings of wanting more; because your lacking certain needs and wants with your current relationship. Either find a way to fix it, or simply try things out with your ex. Like I said, if its meant to be, fate won't let you lose him (either one of them).
I'm so sorry its so long! I just try to help the best I can! If you have any questions at all, please do not heistate to inbox me, or send me an email to xxbbyxitsxyouxx@aol.com!
Good Luck, Doll!<3
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