Well, I'm a second year college student. I have had my share of embarrassing moments, troubling times and I'm not the girl who got all the guys--so at least you'll know my advice is sincere and relatable, not perfect in an imaginary world. Any questions whatsoever are welcome, I'll try my best to answer accordingly.
Gender: Female
Location: Miami
Occupation: Student
Member Since: August 4, 2006
Answers: 334
Last Update: February 14, 2008
Visitors: 19188
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Brandi_S
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my name is rachel and iam a 17 female and iam dating this boy named jesse and for some reason iam afraid to call him I think it's becouse i'll say something stupid or something like that and when I called him today I got off the phone really quickly because his twin brother answered the phone and when I asked is jesse there he said jesse it's your girlfriend rachel and I think that made me even more nervouse than I already was.I don't have any classes with him either and we don't even have the same lunch at school becouse he got his schedule changed so now we don't have the same lunch anymore so the only time I get to see him during school is at breakfast.This is the 3rd time i've dated jesse and iam afraid to tell my mom iam dating him for the 3rd time becouse she dosn't belive in 3 chances and I do what should i do? (link)
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Why are you so nervous? If you are dating, you should feel completely comfortable with that person. Just be yourself, he obviously liked you enough to want to be with you. It's a great feeling to be able to have that person to talk to about anything and not feel stupid and other than your best friend, a boyfriend is a great to do that with.
What were the reasons for your first two break ups? If it's something of major concern, I can see why your mother would not want you dating him. Regardless, it is your life and as much as your mom may love you, she needs to let you make your own mistakes...it's the only way you'll learn anything. If you feel he is worth it, then you should go for it and get over whatever you are afraid of.
I would say though that anything after 3 chances, may be a little excessive. So if trial 3 is not working, it may be time to move on.
Good Luck, relationships are hard.
-Teacup
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hi, i am 15 and recently had an abortion with the abortion pill, i did not want to get rid of my child but i know in the long term it was the right thing to do, ever since i had it i feel horrible, i cant sleep and i dont feel like eating. the only person i have told is my boss nikki as i have a part time job and she has been great, but every time i txt her when im down i just feel like she is gettin pissed of with me, i dont no why. i was just wondering if anyone could give me advice on 1. how to get over my loss and get on with my life and 2. tell me how my boss will be feeling (people who have helped someone through an abortion would be best for this bit) thank you so much x (link)
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This is a tough thing to get over..but you need to tell yourself this, you are 15 years old and still have a whole lot of finding to do before you can be ready to have a child. Would you have been able to support your child? Would your child have suffered because they didn't get to have everything they wanted? Are you going to be able to give them a great life, where you can protect them? Just knowing that you were unprepared to handle the life of someone else should let you know that you made the right decision. It's not something you are going to get over, but know that you did it for the right reasons and when you do have a child, you'll be able to be the best mother you can be. I don't know how to answer the latter, but if she has to keep repeating the same thing to you, she may be frustrated because she doesn't know what else to say to you. If you can't talk to anyone about it...write about it. Writing is a great way to get things out of you and once you start writing you will start thinking more clearly and you'll see why you had to do what you did.
Good Luck, I really hope you can pull through this.
-Teacup
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how do u lose 20 or 15 in about a month? is that possible? could you do it without everyone making a big fuss over it? i am 110 and about 5'1 and dont say im skinny and i dont need to lose weight beacause i look REALLY fat even thought i am just a little bit. so i would like to lose about 20 or 15 pounds before school starts. or at least not look as fat as i do now. cause i know im not that fat but i have friends that are the same weight and hieght as me and they are skinnier...MUCH skinnier. anybody have ANY ideas? ill take them all! thanks in advance!!!!
btw i am 13 years young and i am a female. (link)
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It is completely unrealistic to lose that much in a month. It's sad, but we are our own worst critics, so when you say you think you need to lose a lot of weight, it's because you judge yourself way too harshly. All I can suggest is that you eat according to the food pyramid, lay off soda if you drink it and junk food, drink lots of water, and exercise at least 3 days in a week. It's going to make a big difference and make you feel happier with yourself.
Hope this helps, I doubt you look as big as you think you do.
-Teacup
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I am 5'2 and I weigh 129 pounds. I know I'm not overweight, and everyone says I should only loose at most 5 pounds. But, my stomach still is flabby and I don't look that good in a swimsuit. What can I do about it? (link)
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I once heard doing sit ups is better for toning, so you should try doing sit ups daily and it should help.
Good Luck.
-Teacup
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OK well i was invited to Cedar point with my boy friend, and i really wanted to go, but i was going to be up North, and had to say no. So instead he invited his best friend who so happens to be my best friend as well. Well it so happens that about a year ago he really liked my best friend, and asked her out several time, but she always declined. I'm a little worried that by spending a day with my best friend might ,ake him realize again that he still likes her, even tho she has a boyfriend that she loves. Should i be worried? We've only been going out for about a week, and i don't know if i should worry. Am i being stupid by worring? (link)
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I don't think you should be worried. If this girl is your best friend and in love with her boyfriend, she is not going to care if any other guy likes her...even if that guy is your boyfriend. This is actually something good for you, if he does start to like her...then maybe he's just not the one for you, but if he doesn't like her it just shows how much he likes you. I'm just saying, see how the thing goes...don't begin making something out of nothing.
Best of Luck.
-Teacup
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This kid, Ryan, was visiting my friend's brother and so was his other friend and I seriously think his mission was to piss me off! I've never had a boyfriend and he asked me if I had and I said, "No, I've never had one.". Then he asked me to rate how hot his friend was and I said, "No." and he said, "Well fine then. I guess you're a lesbian."(I would've have called him an asshole right there and slapped him but my friend's mom was there.) When I went down to the pool ryan was there, my friend, my friend's brother, and ryan's friend. He kept getting this water gun thing and shooting it at me(I just dyed my hair a few days ago and the chemicals from the pool water can turn your hair green)and I told him to stop and all he did was laugh and keep doing it.(By the way, my hair did turn this stupid green color and I had to wash my hair about six times to get all of it out) Then when I was leaving I fell down and I scraped myself really bad and he started laughing. He kept saying all this perverted crap too and it freaked me and my friend out. He said I was weird so I went up to him and I said, "Okay. Now how am I weird? At least I don't IM random people and say, "HEY BABY! WHAT'S UP?!" like you do." (He did that to me.) and then he said, "Psh. I never did that." and everyone believed him and then he said, "Oh yeah and don't ever talk to me on IM again." He had ASKED for my screen name! He really pissed me off. He finally left yesterday but he is coming back here for thanksgiving. He has instant messenger and I have his screen name. I want to yell at him about everything and tell him what an asshole he is. But, he'll turn it all around and say HE was the one who cussed me out. So I don't know what to do now! Should I IM him and cuss him out (if you think I should do that then what should I say to him if he tries to turn it all around?) or just not do anything?! (link)
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Don't do anything! He's not worth your time. Something I have learned is if you don't respond to what some idiot says about you, they look like they are talking to themselves and look kinda dumb. I'm not gonna lie...it cracks me up a little on the inside. Let him focus all his attention on you and give him none in return. If he continues to bother you, just remind yourself ...you must be very important to him if he can't stop trying to bother you and talk to you when you don't pay any attention to him. Him looking like an idiot is enough payback.
Hope this helps, hun.
-Teacup
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my friend is the different gender than i am.i am a boy.she gets angry sometimes when i don't give her enough info sometimes for example if we are on the phone and someone calls me in the background she would be like who was that and sometimes i really dont wanna tell her so she would start an arguement then i would hang upthe phone and after i would call back to say am sorry for no reason.she yells at me.she iz not really friendly but when am bored i could call her,shes a nice talker.should i keep her as a friend?what should i do? (link)
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Sounds to me like you got it all wrong. Sounds like she may have a little thing for you. Think about it, she wants your attention and she gets jealous of your other female callers. She is acting like a jealous girl friend. I do not think you should stop being her friend if you like her, just casually tell her that she is sort of acting like your girlfriend and you're not sure why.
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i've been going out w/ this guy for a couple months and we've kissed acouple times and stuff but weve never makein out and i dont now how to get him to makeout w/ me can someone plz help me (link)
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Well, if you feel comfortable enough to make out and you have done it before, just go for it! But, if this will be your first time, just let him know straight out...guys aren't mind readers.
Much Luck.
-Teacup
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This is embarassing for me but.. im 13 years old(14 in like 3 months)and i weigh like around 160 pounds. I know im really over weight and i hate it. I play sports too so its not like i just sit around the house all day. I play softball almost all year round and i do cheerleading. All my friends are tiny. I guess you could say that im just built big because i got my period around 3 years ago and i wear a c cup right now. I dont want to be as little as them. My mom used to be big so i know i got it from her but she lost a lot of weight and she weighs like 130 right now. I just wanna have a flat tummy, a littler butt, and littler thighs. I want a fun way to do it though. Any suggestions? PLEASE HELP!!!
[[FAATT]] (link)
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Hey.
If you want a fun way to lose weight, you should try a dance class--not only do you get to improve your dance moves, but you can meet new people.
Also, another option can be running with your friends and/or buying a taebo video or dance video and doing that with your friend. With running, you get to bond with a friend and exercise and with the video you won't feel like you are the only one doing dumb moves.
Good Luck.
-Teacup
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My boyfreind has had sex with 30 other girls and he prbably has alot of STDS and he cheats on everyone.its just in his nature. He cheated on my friend he cheated on all his other grilfriends. He tried to finger my friend when they were going out and my frined dint want him to and he wouldn't stop trying to do it. He's a man hore. He's only 16 too and he already had sex with 30 girls. And to top it all off, hes arrested right now I forgot what he did. I think hes too much truble for me because I'm not a good girl but I'm not that bad. hes already wanted sex with me the first day we were going out. I think i should dump him. Hes a bad kid and he will only cause more trouble to me. What do yuo think? (link)
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Yes, dump him! Seems like all he's after is sex, what kind of relationship is that? Plus, there's all these other issues, stds, cheating, so before you get too attached break it off so he doesn't wind up hurting you.
Ok.and by the looks of the additional info, all I have to ask you is...why would you want to date a guy who is just using you for sex, don't you want a guy who will make you feel beautiful and appreciate you?
I rate him a pig!
-Teacup
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hello mrs deville i'm ready for my close up!
my name is "stacy" i love to act i love to sing i love being the center of attention1 who dosn't?!? i recently attended a theater summer camp! it ws great i went from being a NOBODY actress to a SOMEBODY..your probably asking...my problem? i rather spend time with my new found friends at camp then my ones at home there sooo boring its like listening to wanna be preps! no offense to them..its like they all have personality that has nothing to do with mine and my friends at camp there great! but well one of my friends at camp is moving to my school and my friends are having trouble accepting her (we met at a cafe once) i reallyyy wanted them to meet her turns out...THEY HATE HER i really rather hang out with her then my friends but i'm graduating this year and we were planning a big party with a limo and all! PLEASE HELP
signed
STACY soon to be drama queen (link)
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Hey Ms. Drama Queen,
It's alright to have more than group of friends. Actually, it's soooo boring to just stick to one group of people. And since you claim you love being the center of attention, I think you would be better off as a social butterfly. Get to hang out and meet new kind of people, you can even take your new friend with you so that she can also meet new people. But, don't forget your old friends. Let them know that they would love your new friend as much as you do if they really got to know her, after all you found her and had good enough sense to find the rest of them as well.
Hope this helps.
-Teacup
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i didnt know what to put this under but anyways
how do u make out with someone? (link)
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Ah, the age old question.
I don't think there is much you can tell a person, but--just go with the flow, you'll get it.
You'll be fine =].
-Teacup
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Hey guys, I need some help here. I want to know if any of these are signs that my guy friend likes me.
There's this other creep at my school who sometimes hangs out with all of us at lunch. The other day my friend had to go do something in the classroom, so he wasn't there yet. This creep, we'll call him...'Sean'...ran up to me and grabbed me and said: 'I need to ask you a personal question. Are you going with anyone to the Sadie Hawkins dance?' When I said no, he asked me friend and my other friend. Anyway, later on I told my guy friend about it and he sort of got protective-like, and wanted to know if I'd said yes to 'Sean'. I said no, and he asked if I had a date, then sort of playfully suggested I go with him. Aside from the fact that the guys at my school have the Sadie concept all wrong, I'd like to know if he might like me. (link)
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Ha, give it to boys to have the whole Sadie Hawkins concept wrong...but what can you do? It sounds like to me that there are two possible solutions. Either A..he does like you and would be jealous if he saw you at the dance with another guy. Or B...he's such a good friend that he is overprotective, almost to the point that he feels like your big brother and knowing what a 'creep' Sean is, knows you can do better than him. One way or another, this kid cares for you, maybe you should playfully ask him if he does (and yeah I know it's hard asking someone if they like you..but it's the only way to be 100% sure).
Much Luck
-Teacup
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i am the school dork
i am SERIOUS
i am a loner
i need friends..OBVIOUSLY
well see on my messenger i have 2 friends my sister and me (i have two e-mails)
people call me dork and loser because i love to look at stars and pretend to talk to the martians that live there
its true! i've seen them with my super deluxe telescope from my true love, my mother, on my birthday :)
i had a party but unfortunately only my family came i invited all my classmates. lets put it this way i live in beverly hills (my dad is a top attorney, my mom is a CEO) so everyone at my school is all uppity up and shows off about their being rich and all. i'm just glad that i have a home and all but i am 13 and 1/2 i want a boyfriend! i want friends not friends that would just use me! please give me tips! let me give you an idea of how i look:
glasses (these cool d&g aviators) on sale
school uniform (private school)
the straightest stiff hair anyone here has ever seen.
school is coming!
I NEED YOUR HELP!
signed,
desperately desperate (link)
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Now, I'm not saying you should change or anything but maybe you should tone down your personality a little, you can't come off too strong at first because that is something people don't like. Just be sweet and approach one of your classmates and talk to them about what they did over the summer or just any little thing. If you don't want them to use you, first don't discuss what your home life is like and second...don't let them. If they are only your friends for that reason...move on..you'll find others that like your personality.
And hey, you sound like you are an individual and that you stand out in a sea of private school girl uniforms...something a lot of people want and can never achieve. So kudos on that!
Embrace what you look like, I use to hate the fact that I wore glasses, so I was dying to get contacts, but now I don't mind wearing them...I think they make me look smart =].
Good Luck...if you have need any more help, just message me.
-Teacup
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Okay so I have a boyfriend of almost 11 monthes now. Problem is his mom and I do not get along exspecially after last night!
So I seen she IMed me while I was with my boyfriend ((her son)). She said hey or w/e so I IMed her back sayin hey an I had a question so I asked her why did she let his ex gf stay the night knowing I don't like her. She told me that since chad was at work she thought it was fine plus her house is open to any one she care's about or w/e. So I got all upset you know cause' that make's me mad an basically told her you know that it's not right an supposively his mom already told him that one of his ex's misses him right? SO why would his mom tell him this if she knew he has a gf, an like that make's me wonder what the hell did she tell the girl after she said that, an it's seems kinda obvious she doesn't like me an she is tryin to get chad to go mess with other girl's or somethin ya know.
Okay now after all this me askin her about the girl stayin the night I told her how I felt an shit an then she tells me like I supposively hungout with my ex bf? Im like wtf I didn't hangout with my ex bf. And then she like went an looked at my ex bf's myspace an seen shit I posted to him in the past like cause we were tryin to make this girl jealous an his mom went on a rampage about it all telling me she would tell my bf an shit so I was like w/e go ahead do what you do.
Now like really, I honestly don't know what to do about her like he can't move out because like his mom will make him pay insurance an since he is gonna start going back to school he wouldn't be able to afford it.
So what should I do in my situation if he asks me to come hangout with his family, do I talk to everyone in cept her.
And am I in the wrong for being upset of his EX gf being there ya know. And like I know I could of handled stuff little better but I asked her a question an she was all a bitch about it an then brought up somethin that I told my ex in the PAST an shit.
Like Honestly she isnt my mother so she has no right snoopin in my buisness. PLUS if chad thought anything dont you think he would of went online an snooped himself, plus it was something said in the fucking past.
I thinks he has no life but w/e am I in the wrong, what should I do like no idea im goin crazay. Thankx you whoever takes the time out to read this!! (link)
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yes, wow...this was quite a lot to read, but I'll try my best to help.
I just got to say I think that both you and his mom are responsible for creating a lot of drama. Life is so much better without it.
I don't think you have any right to demand things from her. You have a relationship with her son, not her. If it bothered you, you should have consulted your boyfriend to begin with. You claim she is trying to get him to do things with other girls, and I cannot stress this enough, but if he likes you and cares about you...no other girl can make him forget about you.
As for family outings, when you are faced with that situation...be nice to his mom as well. Sometimes in life, you have to be...hmm a little fake, I guess you could say...but it's for a good reason--you want to maintain a civil relationship. I think you should not worry too much about her. Try to get along with her, and if she doesn't reciprocate...don't worry karma will get her...it always does.
Much luck love.
-Teacup
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My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago (reason cited: my arrogance was getting in the way of our relationship). We are involved in a lot of the same clubs (both officers) and so forth at school and so somehow or another, we will need to get along.
Recently I IMed her just to ask how she was doing and what she's been up to. (Have to start somewhere, right?) "I'd rather not talk about it with you," was her reply. Ouch. Cold.
So anyway, ideas? I really don't want to fight her on commitees and such all year. I mean should I just ask her how she's doing until she answers? Should I give her (some more?) space? (link)
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I think if you keep asking her how she is, she will still be mean. Give her space. If you do want to let her know how you feel and that you want to get along for the sake of the clubs and school, write her an email. Just tell her that there may be indifferences between you two, but that if she hates you, she can continue to do so, as long as it does not interfere with the task at hand.
Business and personal feelings should never intertwine..I myself was a class officer and had to deal with people I did not like or get along with, but the work got done, because that was what was important.
On the bright side, if she does dislike you and she sees how pleasant you have been throughout the year...she may not feel the same any more.
Good luck with that.
-Teacup
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i love my mom but she needs to give me privacy. i'm always paranoid about will she read this, will she read that? i've told her a million times to stop. she says she will. but, never stops. can you give me some advice? (link)
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You need to let her know, plain and simple that you need your own space. Tell her to trust you, because it's worse for her to constantly pressure you, chances are at this rate you'll want to revolt and do something she wouldn't approve of. Maybe to ease her anxiety, you should tell her that you know you can come to her in times of trouble and you will tell her things (and yes I only mean deeply deeply important things). But your mom needs to remember, this is your life and she can't live it for you. If she does not allow you to make mistakes, you will never grow.
Good Luck.
-Teacup
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ok wow. today i went to this party. all these people were like drinking and smoking. i felt so bad! i almost felt like crying. this was my first *drunk party* or whatever you call them. i didn't get drunk or smoked or anything. but, i feel so bad. all these people doing all these things. the cops came and arrested this kid because he was above the alchohol level or w/e. i just fee so weird and so dissapointed about this. it's not that i'm a nerd. it's just that i see it on tv and stuff, but i didn't expect this from some people. we all go to private schools. i'm not saying that people that don't go to private schools drink and stuff. but, i mean, that we all live pretty sheltered lives, you know? we go out and stuff, but we go to small schools and i just don't see why they would do this. i just want advice from anyone that maybe has gone through this sort of thing and maybe to give say something uplifting relating to this
thank you (link)
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I haven't gone to many of these type of parties, but I know I will be around them once I start college. I like partying, but I'm not a big drinker. I do have a lot of friends who constantly feel the neeed to drink, I don't really get it. I rather not drink at parties because well...who knows what can happen. Truth is, it's going to happen a lot. If you can't tolerate that sort of social situation, you should steer clear of it, or at least make sure to have a couple sober friends with you at a party so you don't feel out of place.
Hope this helps ya some.
-Teacup
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13/f
i need one. badly! im not ugly not gorgeous.im not skinny. im a bot overweight. and im real nice. but no guys ever talk to me. i dont wanna be mean but my friends that are less attractive get a b/f. and not just one. like 3 in a week. what is wrong with me? i try talking to guys but they think im weird bc sometimes i get a little weird. they think im a short pipsqueak bc theyre usually 16. im like there annoying little sister. ughh. i wanna find guys my age. who wear most perferably tight girl pants. and usually have long skater hair. but its hard to find guys like that. of course i want them to be nice and funny and sweet and attractive. but how do i find guys like that?! schools starting soon. how do i get guys to notice me? what should i wear? like how do i throw myself out there without begging for attention. i want to be the girl with the best b/f! idk im like overreacting and i want a b/f. please help. i dont want like "youll find one soon" i want some like details and crap.
p.s.-sorry for seeming desprate. i almost am!
and sorry it was so long. (link)
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Usually when you don't expect to meet a guy or get one to like you, it happens. Just be your normal self, you don't need to change yourself. One day you'll find a guy who LOVES your quirky qualities and you'll be happy because he appreciates you. Don't focus all your time on boys, and yes I know it's hard...I once was a 13 year old girl myself, but trust me...they are a whole lot more important things in life and finding a flavor of the week is not it. At this time you should focus on school *I know a bit nerdy, but important*, you friends, and your hobbies. Hey, through friends and hobbies arise opportunities to meet new guys.
As for your "less pretty" friends getting more boyfriends than you...hey it happens. Been there, done that.Who knows why it happens, but it pretty much does.
Good Luck and you don't need a boyfriend...just wait...time will take it's course.
-Teacup
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i find myself takeing things to seroiusly and overeacting and i am barely ever happy. and im only 13 and its summer and i want to have the best time of my life. any advice on how to be more happy and forget about the hard thigns and life. And im always thinking about life and it makes me upset because i feel im growing up to fast because im more mature than i probally should be but i just want to have fun and live but i always find myself down any help on to be more happy hyper smiley? (link)
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It is impossible to just forget about the hard things and life as you said. But it is also unhealthy to focus on them continually.
You are going to face problems and you are going to feel sad some times, but you got to make time for the good things too. It's summer, go to the beach, go watch new movies, bowl, dance around like no one can see you. Enjoy yourself.
Perhaps the reason you cannot enjoy yourself is because you haven't solved your problem, I know I'm like that. Try to solve your problem and if it's beyond your reach, then what can you do...don't dwell on it!
You are 13, and all you will end up is stressing yourself and getting bitter, and you have yet to begin living.
You will miss good things in life if you don't allow yourself to enjoy them and being a spectator in life, is not an option.
Cheer up, kid.
-Teacup
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