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Getting along with my ex
My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago (reason cited: my arrogance was getting in the way of our relationship). We are involved in a lot of the same clubs (both officers) and so forth at school and so somehow or another, we will need to get along.
Recently I IMed her just to ask how she was doing and what she's been up to. (Have to start somewhere, right?) "I'd rather not talk about it with you," was her reply. Ouch. Cold.
So anyway, ideas? I really don't want to fight her on commitees and such all year. I mean should I just ask her how she's doing until she answers? Should I give her (some more?) space?
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just give eachother some time, and then after awhile when she is alone or something go to her and just talk about what happend, hear her out, and don't intrupt. let her talk. say i know we are involved in alot of things together and i don't want us to be always so tense, and you mad at me all the time i would like to still be friends with you. and just give it time she should come around.
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Well without knowing the history of the relationship I can't tell you how appropriate her reaction was.
I would suggest that you simply email her stating what you said here and if she responds great if not at least she knows where you stand and will hopefully be as mature as you are being.
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Aw.. well what she said was a little mean but maybe she has a reason to say that.You can see that your the better person in this so what you should do is not talk to her on internet it just screws things up.. so at school talk to her person to person is always better.Tell her your really are sorry about the past and you can't fix it but you don't want to fight all year.If you are nice to her she most likely will realize that your right.If not then she is going to missing out. ♥
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Well obviously you are much more mature than your ex. Right now, give her time. Once all of your clubs start and you need to be face to face with her then simply go up to her (or write her a note...whichever is easier for you) and tell her that you realize what was in the past, but now this is the present and that she needs to stop being distant from you when you two HAVE to get along. And that you hope that you will. If she still wants to be cold about everything, then you be the bigger person and keep your cool. Don't freak out on her, dont stoop to her level. Be friendly still but do NOT crowd her. Hope everything works out for you.
Tamera
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There is no reason you need to fight with her all year.
Yes, her response was a little cold, but it was also honest and straightforward. She wasn't playing any games with you; she simply and honestly told you she wasn't interested in discussing her personal life with you.
It is quite possible for two people to work together and be very successful without being friends. If she doesn't respond well to your attempting to contact her on a personal level, then keep it professional and don't reach out to her again unless you have something about the club or school business to discuss.
Sure, you could contact her and try to discuss this sort of arrangement, or tell her you want to try and be friends, but I think it might be best, if she doesn't want to talk to you right now, just to let it slide for a while, and deal with issues as they arise when you are back at school.
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Just tell her what you wrote here. You both are on the committees and need to get along. You're just trying to make sure that you can work together in a business like way without there being any drama.
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I think if you keep asking her how she is, she will still be mean. Give her space. If you do want to let her know how you feel and that you want to get along for the sake of the clubs and school, write her an email. Just tell her that there may be indifferences between you two, but that if she hates you, she can continue to do so, as long as it does not interfere with the task at hand.
Business and personal feelings should never intertwine..I myself was a class officer and had to deal with people I did not like or get along with, but the work got done, because that was what was important.
On the bright side, if she does dislike you and she sees how pleasant you have been throughout the year...she may not feel the same any more.
Good luck with that.
-Teacup
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I think what she needs is some more space..give her some time to cool off some more. You could always give her the summer to cool off then when school starts gradually start talking to her at the officer meetings. I hope everything works out =].
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