jammy12's advice column

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Q: My husband's parents recently brought up the idea of buying a large piece of property in my town so they, my husband and I, and my brother-in-law and his family can all live together. We will each have our own house on the property so it will be something like a family commune.

I'm against the idea. They tend to be nosy and don't see a problem with dropping in unannounced and expecting to be entertained. There is also the fact that they do not like me and go out of their way to make sure I know that. They have went so far as to tell me that I'm a bad wife and tell my husband he made a mistake marrying me. I have told my husband that if they do move here, I want to move somewhere else. He is also against the idea. He sees their obvious dislike of me and also doesn't like the idea of the loss of privacy. I spoke to my sister-in-law and she said that she and her husband are against the idea as well. She also mentioned that she would want to move if they move here.

My problem is this: no one will tell my in-laws that they don't like the idea. I'm afraid that if no one says something, my in-laws are going to take that as acceptance of their idea and go forward with it. They already have started the search for property. Once they buy the property, we'll all feel obligated to move onto it, even though it's going to make us miserable. My husband and his brother say that they can't stop them if they want to move here. If I or my sister-in-law say something, we run the risk of being accused of keeping them from their sons and grandchildren.

How would you handle a situation like this?

I'm guessin there movin there is either to break up your marriage or control your lives. Someone needs to stand up to them and maybe it should be your husband. Talk it over with him and tell him you feel the same way as him and resolves things....
The best thing wouldn't be to move when they move by u...so it's better jus to tell them about it before. And yes it will be tough if you talk up so try to get ur husband to do the talkin

Q: if your pee is really yellow does that mean you dont have enough to drink, or is it the other way around?

When your urine is dark and a little bit it means you need to drink more water and that your urine is not gettin enough water to concentrate. I'm sure you drink juices and softdrinks so instead replace 1 or 2 with water.

Q: My friend is always complaining about her figure and looks and it annoys me because she is one of those girls who have perfect looks skin and figure. I am overweight, not the best looking girl with bad skin and am seriosuly over my age height. I want to make her feel good about herself but she never does and everytime she starts it makes me feel bad about myself. I want her to feel better but when I reassure her she doesnt believe me. I know its wrong but I am scared I will end up like her. I used to like myself but now I have started feeling really depressed about it. Any advice on shutting her up and getting myself back how I was before? I hate the NEW me

No offence but I think that she is jus tryin the sympathy thing. She jus wants attetion and makes u feel bad, duno if she means it or not. My friend's kinda like da and it's hard to know wah she means. Anyway either pretend not to hear her...or jus say "You're pretty. Get OVER IT!"

Q: last night after dinner my mom told me that she had something to tell me. she told me that she gave birth to me and my identicle twin sister. she told me that she couldnt keep oth of us because she was only 18. she didnt want to give both of us up. so she put my tiwn up for adoption before she was even born. i never knew about this only my mom and my grandma knew. they didnt want to brag about it to anyone. my dad knows about it also(my biological dad, he stayed with my mom through everthing and now theyre married!) so my mom told me that the couple that adopted my twin sister had died in a car accident and my mom was notified. and in their will they didnt give my twin to anyone. all it said was ask jennifer who she wants to live with. so jenny told the lawers that she wanted to live with her biological mom. so the lawyers called my mom and told her and my mom said yes. we get to meet jenny on saturday. im really nervous tho, because i dont know if we're alike or if were different and i dont know what to talk to her about. if anyone can give me advice i would be very happy. also im nervous if shell like hate me because my mom chose to put jenny up for adoption and not me. omg im so scared.

First of it's nice to hear that there is still some ppl in this world that have humanity (ur dad stickin wid yah maa) Well anywho I think it is relly great that u'l get to talk to her. Ask her wat she likes and stuff n let her know what you like. Get to know her and talk to her about anything...ya'll blood man. Yeah and ya'll shouldn't fite bout da (the adoption scene) cause ur mum had no idea who wuz who!

Lotz ah love,
JJ

Q: I am 16 years old and I weigh barely 90lbs. What can I do to gain weigh but not getting a lot of fat in my body?

Eat junk and go to the gym

Q: so i am a female at age 13 going on 14. and about a month ago when i was working on a project with two guys(nerds). anyways he started asking why i had a mastache. and yes everyone has hair their but it shouldnt be noticable like this is? how do i get rid of this problem?
please dont say ignore them
xoxo KML

If that was me I wuldaaa smack em...
Lol but u culd waxxx or bleach it...DON"T SHAVE

Wen I say bleach I mean buy the sally hansen creme bleach. It changes the color of the hair so it looks less apparent

Q: whats the best way to get rid of acne? more than just wash it everday..... any ideas or websites.x0x0 thanks

Those pore strips that like pull out dirt really help. Cause it stops and gets rid of acne!

Q: ohkay so i have naturally wavy hair, the only thing i can do with my hair is straighten it, i really want to be able to like scrunch it or curl it, does anyone have any ideas on like a mouse or spray i can put in my hair as to where it will scrunch or curl easier (( please not expensive!!))

thanksss bunchesss

Well I duno if it's expensive...but what I do know is that it works relly great. You don't use alot...so I guess it'll last a long time with you. Use citre shine...doesn't matter if it's the normal anti frizz or the spray. I tried it on my hair...mine is already straight and it keeps the curls nice.

Q: what are some really good mascara that is cheap (likebelow $10) that i can find at the store that seperates your eyelashes and makes them thicker/longer ?

I use Estee Lauder Lash Xl...not relly sure of the price though. I suggest u buy anything that's not clumpy and sticky. Once you use any mascara and work it properly...u'll hve perfect lashes...n don't curl it (it'll look puuurfect.

Q: I Know this question may sound stupid... butt how do you flirt?.. Cause im kinda shy

It's a natural thing. IT's like replyin to a comment someone made in a wway that makes you sound interested. If you don't know how to do it....n ur relationship life is good...don't try to do it. It might make you sound desperate and alot of times flirtin gets u in truble...BIG TIME!

Q: I will rate high..!

I have posted more questions about my relationship on this site before...

Recently me and my bf(23)are planning a trip to the caribean for december ..you know we want to get to families (has been a long time)and beside he wants to meet his son.

Things are very smooth between
me and him ...But the mother of his kid (his Ex) is working on my nerves ..We only know eachother from msn and yet she is very rude to me sometimes (long story..)
And she do not have to because I am a very sweet and patient person.

But my question is
I am very worried about december because we are going over there to meet his son ..I can imagine this is gone be kinda hard for me because they gone want to be alone (mother ,son and father)what should I do?..Should I just ignore this ..beside his son is gone be baptise december shouldI go to the party (baptise party)with him?

It may seems stupid but I am really worried..I do not know how to act when we go on this trip on december

I even ask him to go alone ..But than that would be unfair to my family because its a long time I haven't seen them

I really want him to enjoy this trip ..he deserve it.....I am gone be like ..: to many people on the table????...(that's a old saying from th caribean when there is people in a room who should not be there)...lol

Please answer me..I really need answer

Thank you!

yeah well if i were you go...i mean he is your bf and after all you're gona meet ur fam 2! if they need to spend time together...or you think they should tell him and let him carry them out to dinner (i'm sure you trust him) and you go and lime with your fam or friends. yeah you should go to the party...the kid wouldn't mind and ps. kids love when people buy candy or toys for them lol.

and enjoy it...i mean after all you're not only gona see them and plus if yall marry n stuff the kid will like you already.

Q: I am 14 years old and female. Recently, I have been so stressed out, depressed, unhappy, eating way more than I used to (it is overeating), and gaining massive amounts of weight (my clothes barely fit any more and that makes me so upset). Plus I am always tiered and sulky. What do you think is wrong with me? What should I do?

You're too stressed...I gained 17 lbs because of the stress and it relly still stresses me out. Try TRY TRRRY to not worry urself bout it cause the more u do...you gain more so woop dee doo....it doh rely make sense to worry n gain more. Try some relaxin beach bathin...or takin a nice walk or run sunset or sunrise and go swimming. It relaxes you and makes you lose and tone ur bod a bit.

Q: My hair is unmanagable.
Even when I straigten it, it is all frizzy and poofy. Its so frustrating.
I hate it.
I heard on advicenators someone telling someone else you can get your hair permanantly straightened in a salon for like 75 bucks. I don't want to get in Japanese straightened because it costs a lot of money. If I get it done at a salon for 75 bucks, how long will it last?
Does it really work?

Yeah well I don't agree with permanent...because one my friend did it...n well her hair still look horrid n she still straignts it (no offence KAt)...ne whho I think you should try the ceramic straigtner...plus us a stylin cream, mousse (PS. I LOVEE CITRE SHINE)!

Q: is there anyway to slow down your period? like i got it on saturday and i really really need it to be down by friday cause im going away. please help!! ill rate super high!

IT should be finished...but don't take chances. Don't be all lazy get up take a walk, run and try to move alot. Use the waashroom as often as u need 2!....n hope u hve a safe flight

Q: my period started today, and i have track the next two days

i'm not sure what to do, because everytime i stand up i feel like i have to piss, which i got like 20 times a day, not kidding!

i wear tampon && pad

anything else?

Midol....yes midol. N try like doin some exercises so that wen u go on the track u don't feel to faint

Q: Ok so here is the problem I have a serious crush on this boy let's call him Kyle. I am 14 so it's not just some stupid little kid thing, and no he isn't super popular. He's just there. He's always teasing me he likes to call me a turuturu. (they are cute little made up creatures) The main problem is I know he doesn't like me as more than a friend because he's gay. I keep telling myself I don't have a chance with him because he's gay but I can't get over him. What should I do?

Well...you not guna be able to change him like "saved!" soo...don't go have sex and make a baby (if u saw the movie u'd know wah i mean) Anywho you have to realise there is no way for you to change him if he's gay. Almost all gay guys are hott yes but u also have to realise he's not goin to go for you..(srry to put it that hard on u). Pretend he has a girlfriend or he's married and there is no way you can break them up. Just move on...meeet new people, yes it's difficult to get over those boys but at the end of the day...there is alwayz a way out of the situation n many cows in the ffield!

Lol...lots of love,
JJ

Q: I have super thick, chesnut colored brown hair. I love when it's straight, it looks great, hah, but it's very time consuming. For the most part (during the school week) I'll wake up and just scrunch it, because there's no time to straighten it. (Occasionally I'll straighten it at night) But, the problem is, when I scrunch my hair in the morning I like how it looks. During the day, my hair starts to dry, and whenever it's fully dry the scrunch effect isn't the same, I mean my hair looks gross. I end up putting it up everyday after it's dry. Is there any way I can maybe keep my hair a little wet the whole day, or someway it can look like it is? Thank you.

Use hair spray wen ur scrunchin or straigtning. Then during the day use a moisturizer to keep like shiny n not make it all dried out.

BEst of luck,
JJ

Q: 16female.mediuum brown hair w/red highlights
Ok so i straighten my hair about every 3-4 days and i have splitends like woah

well the thing is ALOT of other girls straighten their hair daily and yet they have absolutley no split ends why is this?

A while ago i went and got my hair cut to rid of split ends but when i straightened my hair that night viola! there they were again.
The other day i out conditioner in my hair before straightening it (someone told me i should) but it didnt even help

so if someone can please give me some tips or products i could buy that would help w/this problem pleeease tell me
ill rate high for good answers (sorry its long)

It's probably the type of hair u have...or the type of straightner you use. I don't really know what type to tell you to use (iron) so I'll tell you that citreshine anti frizz serum is really good for split ends (they have the ones particularly for spilt ends!

Q: I usually don't ask these types of questions but today I think I should. I have already emailed Msn Costomer Service about this problem but they haven't responded yet.
Today I got on my Msn Messenger 7.5 and everything was gone. My Display Photos, my winks, ALL of my smilies (not the original ones), and my background. Does anyone have any idea on why this could have happend? I have also changed my password and security question.

If you updates it that could happn...n sometimes it jus happns I think maybe cause u had 2 much or something.

Q: i'm 14/f

my father is taking my mother to court because i won't go to this house.

don't call me a bad child for not going, i mean theres solid reasons.

by law, could they make me go over his house?

&& could they determine if i had to go based on the reasons why i'm not going? hes trying to take my mom to jail bc she is "not allowing me to go over"

but i'm the one who is the reason why i'm not going there!

any help please!!!!!

Well I had the same problem...and well I got to stay with my mom althought it was like joint custody my dad doesn't come to see me again. This is so tough because you become so emotionally fit and esp at your age...I was 7-10 wen it happened to me. Well the first thing is try to get ur mom or lawyer to seek a child physcologist...n then from there she/he will determine who is fit for you. you're jus 14 and you won't be able to go to court so the closet u can get is the physcologists. I hope your mom doesn't get in trouble and you get to stay with her!!

BEST OF LUCK...and stay strong!!!