My friend is always complaining about her figure and looks and it annoys me because she is one of those girls who have perfect looks skin and figure. I am overweight, not the best looking girl with bad skin and am seriosuly over my age height. I want to make her feel good about herself but she never does and everytime she starts it makes me feel bad about myself. I want her to feel better but when I reassure her she doesnt believe me. I know its wrong but I am scared I will end up like her. I used to like myself but now I have started feeling really depressed about it. Any advice on shutting her up and getting myself back how I was before? I hate the NEW me
Don't worry, I do understand this but you have to remember that she doesn't look the way she thinks SHE should look and in feeling that, she's not judging you at all. You should feel comfortable with yourself and your friend shouldn't be able to affect that.
Next time she starts going on about how rotten she looks, try pointing out to her, gently, that she's being a little insensitive because you feel bad about yourself too and given that you think she's much better off than you are, it would be nice if she didn't say stuff like that around you any more. You also need to understand that nothing you say will make her feel better about herself so for the time being, stop reassuring her. The more you reassure her, the more she will come to you, fishing for compliments.
Lastly, if you're not happy with yourself and want to feel better, maybe you could try working on a few personal issues. If your skin is suffering and you can't find something that works, see your doctor about it, as they can prescribe treatments for problem skin and they almost always help a lot. If you are overweight, look at ways you can trim yourself up. Join a gym or take up a physical exercise class. Not only will you feel you look better but you'll feel better in yourself for having tried something and succeeded in doing it well. [ Vikki27's advice column | Ask Vikki27 A Question ]
erythisis answered Friday March 24 2006, 6:49 pm: Try taking and keeping the focus off personal looks. If she's intent on the subject, simply tell her that you feel hurt she would focus on a such a sensitive subject. The trick is to avoid making the statement a personal comment about her, but one about you (even if it is completely her issue). If that doesn't work, just show her in actions that you don't want to hang out with someone who beats themself up. You also might want to talk to a cousellor, at least for her sake. [ erythisis's advice column | Ask erythisis A Question ]
TurrrrrrtleMolly answered Thursday March 23 2006, 12:18 am: Well, you may not like this, but if a friend is making you feel this way you shouldnt have to be her friend. She has negetive energy, and you dont deserve to be around that. You need a healthy and happy atmosphere. And, you have tried to make her feel better, but theres just no possible way to do that. She is what she is and you dont have to be around it if you dont want to. She is probably stuck up anyway... hope that helps.
LoveMeDo answered Wednesday March 22 2006, 5:19 pm: Tell you're friend to calm down..it's not healthy to think like that! Sometimes people do that just to get attention, or to hear others say that they're pretty. So next time she starts..don't react. Don't reassure her..just change the subject. If she questions you..tell her that it's not fun for you to listen to her complain about herself constantly. And don't let it make you feel bad. When she acts like that it shows her insecurity, not yours! [ LoveMeDo's advice column | Ask LoveMeDo A Question ]
kendrabdatgirl answered Wednesday March 22 2006, 4:16 pm: i think your friend has issues...maybe she is really insecure about her body and is envying someone else that probly looks better then her..which you shouldn't start doin. Everyone is different and we have to live and work with what we have and be happy..and im being real, there are ugly people and there are pretty people..but u just have to face it that you cant be any one and noone can be you..(well maybe with a little technology & surgery)...but anyways you should tell your friend you dont like when she starts complaing about her figure & looks and tell her how you really feel when she does that.
jammy12 answered Wednesday March 22 2006, 4:08 pm: No offence but I think that she is jus tryin the sympathy thing. She jus wants attetion and makes u feel bad, duno if she means it or not. My friend's kinda like da and it's hard to know wah she means. Anyway either pretend not to hear her...or jus say "You're pretty. Get OVER IT!" [ jammy12's advice column | Ask jammy12 A Question ]
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